Part Deux of Shawnna's weight loss journey :)

Wow

So I have been sooo excited about my progress and just can't wait for my weight loss... I tell you guys that everyday. But, last night I just got stricken with this weird feeling as I saw that when I lay down I have virtually no pooch anymore on my belly, it is flat. More than it has ever been. And, I thought to myself, "This isn't me, what am I going to do? The real me is fat, and pudgy."

And, I don't know why I would feel this way, but I have thought it through and I think I am really scared. I have NEVER been this close to having the body I have always dreamed of, not even when I was starving myself. I think I feel like I will some how be different, not physically, but in general. Like I am a whole new person and the old me is lost. Has anyone else felt like this? It was such a strange thing to think, and it scared me to death. Feeling my body, it doesn't even feel like mine... it is so much smaller and toned, I don't even see it as my body. WEIRD.

Anyways, today is my rest day from TurboFire (Every Wednesday is) and I think I am going to go to the gym and do a little cardio and maybe some ab workouts.

Hope everyone is great!
 
shawnnam said:
So I have been sooo excited about my progress and just can't wait for my weight loss... I tell you guys that everyday. But, last night I just got stricken with this weird feeling as I saw that when I lay down I have virtually no pooch anymore on my belly, it is flat. More than it has ever been. And, I thought to myself, "This isn't me, what am I going to do? The real me is fat, and pudgy."

And, I don't know why I would feel this way, but I have thought it through and I think I am really scared. I have NEVER been this close to having the body I have always dreamed of, not even when I was starving myself. I think I feel like I will some how be different, not physically, but in general. Like I am a whole new person and the old me is lost. Has anyone else felt like this? It was such a strange thing to think, and it scared me to death. Feeling my body, it doesn't even feel like mine... it is so much smaller and toned, I don't even see it as my body. WEIRD.

Anyways, today is my rest day from TurboFire (Every Wednesday is) and I think I am going to go to the gym and do a little cardio and maybe some ab workouts.

Hope everyone is great!
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My wife and I had this conversation a couple of days ago. I know how you are feeling. It is like a part of you has died- at least that is how I am feeling. I guess realistically the fat is gone so a part of you has died-lol. I think what it is is that you have changed- maybe not who you are but what you look like to everyone else. I know I have always been the fat guy- ALWAYS. I am not the fat guy anymore and it is scary. It is like I don't know how to act around other people anymore. I think we will both get through this- it is all part of the process. You should be so proud of yourself and what you have done. Revel in it- embrace it. I think we should both let the fat person that was inside us - die and let's enjoy this new body that we now have. What do you think?
 
cowboy48 said:
My wife and I had this conversation a couple of days ago. I know how you are feeling. It is like a part of you has died- at least that is how I am feeling. I guess realistically the fat is gone so a part of you has died-lol. I think what it is is that you have changed- maybe not who you are but what you look like to everyone else. I know I have always been the fat guy- ALWAYS. I am not the fat guy anymore and it is scary. It is like I don't know how to act around other people anymore. I think we will both get through this- it is all part of the process. You should be so proud of yourself and what you have done. Revel in it- embrace it. I think we should both let the fat person that was inside us - die and let's enjoy this new body that we now have. What do you think?
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I agree. I feel this way whenever I make a large change to my body that changes it appearance. This happened when I got my tattoos, sometimes when I drastically change my hair, when I suddenly wear something I never would have. Lol- I always thought I was the ONLY one that felt that way.

I thought "OMG- I can NEVER go back..." but the reality is I CAN get fat again, and that is scary to me too. My niece who is 17 right now use to be very overweight as a child, and I was the tiny one... then she lost all her weight and was 110 pounds and there I was at 170.. now I am 7 pounds and 2 inches taller than her and everyone is telling me "how skinny" I am getting and it is just so different to be, like who AM I?

Suddenly I AM the girl every boy comments or hits on... its so bad I have to wear a fake wedding ring.

Now I am the girl people WANT to talk to and other girls have told me how they want to be like me...

I am now taken seriously because I am "beautiful AND smart"

and I cannot help but feel like people see me as someone that not only do I not see myself as, they are making me to be someone that is "new." When I was overweight no one wanted to talk to me, men were not attracted to me, no one cared what was going on in my life, jobs didn't want to hire me, people didn't go out of their way to tell me I look good... so why now? Why am I SO MUCH DIFFERENT that people must make me aware of it?
 
shawnnam said:
I agree. I feel this way whenever I make a large change to my body that changes it appearance. This happened when I got my tattoos, sometimes when I drastically change my hair, when I suddenly wear something I never would have. Lol- I always thought I was the ONLY one that felt that way.

I thought "OMG- I can NEVER go back..." but the reality is I CAN get fat again, and that is scary to me too. My niece who is 17 right now use to be very overweight as a child, and I was the tiny one... then she lost all her weight and was 110 pounds and there I was at 170.. now I am 7 pounds and 2 inches taller than her and everyone is telling me "how skinny" I am getting and it is just so different to be, like who AM I?

Suddenly I AM the girl every boy comments or hits on... its so bad I have to wear a fake wedding ring.

Now I am the girl people WANT to talk to and other girls have told me how they want to be like me...

I am now taken seriously because I am "beautiful AND smart"

and I cannot help but feel like people see me as someone that not only do I not see myself as, they are making me to be someone that is "new." When I was overweight no one wanted to talk to me, men were not attracted to me, no one cared what was going on in my life, jobs didn't want to hire me, people didn't go out of their way to tell me I look good... so why now? Why am I SO MUCH DIFFERENT that people must make me aware of it?
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And they say that there is no prejudice against fat people-lol. You are right about everything you said. People treat you different depending on how you look- they say they don't, but they do. I think the best advice I can give you is remember the people that loved you at 170 pounds and they loved you for WHO you are not what you looked like. I am sure at your age- guys hitting on you -especially now, can be a pain( or not-LOL) . I wonder if those same guys would have hit on you at 170 pounds- I'll bet they wouldn't have. It is too bad really- they didn't know what they were missing. It sounds like you have your shit together and you are obviously intelligent- why can't guys see that? I am glad my wife saw the person I was through the fat. I am sure there are guys out there like that. Remember you are the same person inside. Don't compromise!! You will get used to the new you and I will get used to new me. It may take some time but we will do it!!
 
cowboy48 said:
And they say that there is no prejudice against fat people-lol. You are right about everything you said. People treat you different depending on how you look- they say they don't, but they do. I think the best advice I can give you is remember the people that loved you at 170 pounds and they loved you for WHO you are not what you looked like. I am sure at your age- guys hitting on you -especially now, can be a pain( or not-LOL) . I wonder if those same guys would have hit on you at 170 pounds- I'll bet they wouldn't have. It is too bad really- they didn't know what they were missing. It sounds like you have your shit together and you are obviously intelligent- why can't guys see that? I am glad my wife saw the person I was through the fat. I am sure there are guys out there like that. Remember you are the same person inside. Don't compromise!! You will get used to the new you and I will get used to new me. It may take some time but we will do it!!
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Oh they wouldn't hit on me.. actually some of the guys I knew from middle school when I was chubbier that use to make fun of me or just look at in disgust come up to me now in bars and nightclubs and seriously DONT remember me... I mean COME ON NOW! My now boyfriend started dating me when I was about 148 and he told me I was perfect, but he IS loving my abs hahaha everytime I see him he asks me to flex, which is fine with me because I know he was happy with me before.

I mean before when i looked panicked, or looked like I was upset no one said anything, and now tons of people ask me if I need help or am already... WTH you jerks, just cause someone is larger than average dosent mean they don't want human interaction or to know that people care about them.

Lol, I feel like it is going to take me a long time to accept that I look different, feel different, and essentially AM different, but not in a bad way.
 
shawnnam said:
Oh they wouldn't hit on me.. actually some of the guys I knew from middle school when I was chubbier that use to make fun of me or just look at in disgust come up to me now in bars and nightclubs and seriously DONT remember me... I mean COME ON NOW! My now boyfriend started dating me when I was about 148 and he told me I was perfect, but he IS loving my abs hahaha everytime I see him he asks me to flex, which is fine with me because I know he was happy with me before.

I mean before when i looked panicked, or looked like I was upset no one said anything, and now tons of people ask me if I need help or am already... WTH you jerks, just cause someone is larger than average dosent mean they don't want human interaction or to know that people care about them.

Lol, I feel like it is going to take me a long time to accept that I look different, feel different, and essentially AM different, but not in a bad way.
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People are funny sometimes aren't they? And not funny in a good way-lol. I am glad your boyfriend likes you for who you are- that is the way it should be. Although, funny how at just about 50 years of age women are starting to glance my way-LMAO. That never happened before- ever. It is flattering but nothing more-haha.

I know what you mean about taking a while to learn to accept yourself- I think it is going to take me a while too. But I know we can do it. Look how far we have both come and what we had to do to get to this point.
 
Wow, I got like 10 hours of sleep last night, craziness!

I woke up feeling sooo sore, booo. But, my abs as showing more from the crunchies I did at the gym yesterday so I will deal with the pain :D I weighed in this morning and I am only 0.2 pounds down this week :mad: Lol, I hate that I lost so much weight last week because now it feels like if I hardly lose anything I am doing something wrong, I just want to get to 125 dammit!

Anyways, I hope everyone is doing good :)
 
Hey guys,

So, I have gotten A LOT of people asking what I am doing to get the body I have, and I want to take a minute to address something, that I feel, is very important.

First, I want to say thank you to everyone who has either commented, or messaged me in regards to my result to tell me what a great job I have done. I truly appreciate it, and I want everyone to realize that 10 months ago I was in exactly the same place that many new comers here are. I had the same fears, doubts, and hurtles to over come to get where I am today, and let me tell you, it was NOT an easy task. But, this leads me to my next point.

I EARNED my results through MUCH discipline, tears, and frustration. There were many times I said "fuck this," and ate nothing but junk, junk junk. There were times I would step on the scale and saw a 0.2 pound loss, or nothing at all, and I would question my whole process, and it would often lead me to crying myself to sleep. I am NOT the invincible woman, I didn't just "decide" to start my journey and magically, and with ease, end up at my current destination. I did, however, get to my current destination many ways.

You cannot avoid exercise, eating properly, and doing it right and expect to get to where I am. For many months I meticulously counted calories in AND out. So I counted what I was eating and exercising off, and in turn I lost 43 pounds. I took accountability for my actions, when I messed up I ADMITTED it, and I made up for it by either exercising more or eating a little less the next day. YOU have to be your own accountability, you have to keep track of you, don't blame others for your mistakes or slip ups, if you admit it to yourself you are able to move on and fix it. But, there is something else very important I want to point out.

DON'T motivate yourself to get MY results. Chances are we have completely different body shapes, lifestyles, workout routines, amounts of intensity at the gym, different eating patterns, and very different genetic make ups. The chances of us both looking exactly the same, or even remotely the same if we did everything is very unlikely. Strive to be the best feeling and healthiest YOU that you can be. Believe in yourself, and your body. You are putting in the hard work and will get the best results YOUR body can attain if you put in lots of effort. And this leads me to my conclusion.

I am NO expert at weight loss. I am awful at making meal plans for myself, let alone 30 other people. What works for me may very well not work for you. And, finally weight loss can be easy, but mostly it takes a lot of hard work and dedication on the individuals part. Don't feel as though my results should be your goal, because my results will not be anyone elses results, just like nobody elses results are my own. Take pride in yourself and find what works for YOU.

I thank everyone who has supported me, and I will continue to support anyone I can. I can tell you what I have done to get where I am, but please don't think it is as simple as me giving you exercises or meal plans and you will magically have the results you desire. It doesn't work that way.


I love you all. :)
 
Excellent. Well said!! I think that is one of the most important postings in this forum especially for people just starting their weight loss. A lot of people want a magic pill or they don't want to put in the work it takes to lose the weight. It is a LOT of hard work and overcoming the slip ups and hurdles that life throw at you sometimes to reach your goal. It took a long time to put on the weight sometimes it takes just as long or longer to take it off again. Some people will never realize what it has taken to get to where you are now. I do and I really CONGRATULATE you on what you have accomplished!!!

The good thing about this is anyone can do it with the same determination and hard work that you did.

Once again---- CONGRATULATIONS!!!
 
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So, I have been AWFUL all weekend! I ate nothing but junk food and didn't even work out since last Wednesday. BOO. And, I was hell bent on getting strawberry milk and a donut this morning, but I DIDN'T! I just started off right where I left off. I woke up this morning and got a healthy subway egg white on whole wheat english muffin. And, I am about to work out.

Not going to beat myself up and get into the rut I ALWAYS get myself into, where I do bad then I just say I might as well give up and keep on eating as much junk food as is humanly possible. NOT THIS TIME. I am changing my old ways and changing my life.

:)
 
shawnnam said:
So, I have been AWFUL all weekend! I ate nothing but junk food and didn't even work out since last Wednesday. BOO. And, I was hell bent on getting strawberry milk and a donut this morning, but I DIDN'T! I just started off right where I left off. I woke up this morning and got a healthy subway egg white on whole wheat english muffin. And, I am about to work out.

Not going to beat myself up and get into the rut I ALWAYS get myself into, where I do bad then I just say I might as well give up and keep on eating as much junk food as is humanly possible. NOT THIS TIME. I am changing my old ways and changing my life.

:)
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I think we will always have weak moments. It is human nature but it is how we address these weak moments that will determine whether we go back to being overweight or staying the way we are. Sounds like you have the right attitude. GOOD JOB on the healthy breakfast and getting back on track!!
 
Very useful advice given! Thanks for taking the time to share with us your views. :)

Don't worry about eating junk food this weekend. We all slip up now and then.... You're doing a great job, and I for one am very jealous of the results you've achieved!
 
Hi :) Just stopping in to say I've really enjoyed reading your journal - and that was a great post you just did, definitely some good advice for all of us ;)

Also great job on avoiding the donut and working out instead and getting back on track. It's nice to know that everyone gets those feelings of wanting to give up/eat junk food and its great that you're not going to beat yourself up about it but just get back to doing things right :D Keep it up!
 
Thanks for the encouragement guys... Here is just a partial list of what I ate:

A "sharing" size bag of peanutbutter M&M's
2- Jack and Cokes
2- .5 glass bacardi, .5 glass sprite
A chicken casadilla from tacobell
An order of Cinnamon Twists from tacobell
A medium baja blast from tacobell
A strawberry shortcake ice cream bar
A cookies and cream hersheys bar
A box of Red Vines
A chicken burrito from El Pollo Loco
2 Tacos from jack in the box

AND I am sure I ate more... Holy CRAPAMOLIE, lol I went on a feeding frenzie! I didnt realize I ate THAT much over the course of 3 days! And I hardly had any water any of those days.

Tomorrows weigh-in aint going to be pretty! The lesson learned, don't drink because drunk munchies will win over your will power every time... BOO.

Anyways, I have been meaning to post this, but I have been forgetting. So, many people here have a problem with loose skin if they have lost a lot of weight. I know it doesn't seem like I have this problem, but ladies if you have had a lot of weight loss have you noticed a ton of extra skin on your tata's!? GAH, my chest went from a 38 DD down to like a 32 large B/small C.... this is just unacceptable, and now my boobs are deflated and excess skin. This has been the biggest downside to my weight loss :( It is weird this happened because before when I was 122 pounds and 15 years old I was a C/D and had a great chest now that I am 127 and 21 my chest is like a deflated old ladies! BARG!... Who wants to donate to my 'Get a new chest' fund? :D

I went from being an illegal watermelon smuggler to the chair person of the itty bitty titty committee :( View attachment 14799

View attachment 14800
 
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shawnnam said:
Thanks for the encouragement guys... Here is just a partial list of what I ate:

A "sharing" size bag of peanutbutter M&M's
2- Jack and Cokes
2- .5 glass bacardi, .5 glass sprite
A chicken casadilla from tacobell
An order of Cinnamon Twists from tacobell
A medium baja blast from tacobell
A strawberry shortcake ice cream bar
A cookies and cream hersheys bar
A box of Red Vines
A chicken burrito from El Pollo Loco
2 Tacos from jack in the box

AND I am sure I ate more... Holy CRAPAMOLIE, lol I went on a feeding frenzie! I didnt realize I ate THAT much over the course of 3 days! And I hardly had any water any of those days.

Tomorrows weigh-in aint going to be pretty! The lesson learned, don't drink because drunk munchies will win over your will power every time... BOO.

Anyways, I have been meaning to post this, but I have been forgetting. So, many people here have a problem with loose skin if they have lost a lot of weight. I know it doesn't seem like I have this problem, but ladies if you have had a lot of weight loss have you noticed a ton of extra skin on your tata's!? GAH, my chest went from a 38 DD down to like a 32 large B/small C.... this is just unacceptable, and now my boobs are deflated and excess skin. This has been the biggest downside to my weight loss :( It is weird this happened because before when I was 122 pounds and 15 years old I was a C/D and had a great chest now that I am 127 and 21 my chest is like a deflated old ladies! BARG!... Who wants to donate to my 'Get a new chest' fund? :D

I went from being an illegal watermelon smuggler to the chair person of the itty bitty titty committee :( View attachment 14799

View attachment 14800
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Don't worry about it-lol. We all have days where we become like garbage disposals -lol. You will be back on track and it won't matter anymore. You are a 'normal' weight now so your body will probably just take it in stride. Another couple of days from now with your eating back to normal, you will probably be back to normal weight again. No comment on the chest issue-LMAO!!!
 
BOO! Today I weighed in for the 3 month spring challenge and I am only 0.6 pounds down this week. Last week I was 5.4 pounds down so a total of 6 pounds in two weeks, I guess that isn't bad considering all of it is water or fat, im building up my muscles and my stomach is nearly all the way flat so I know I am losing fat.

I really want to just get rid of my excess fat so my abs show, I really have no clue how much I am going to have to lose for that to happen. Hopefully only a few more pounds as my original weight loss goal was 130-135, and I am now 3-8 pounds UNDER that mark and now my goal is like 120-125. GAH
 
shawnnam said:
BOO! Today I weighed in for the 3 month spring challenge and I am only 0.6 pounds down this week. Last week I was 5.4 pounds down so a total of 6 pounds in two weeks, I guess that isn't bad considering all of it is water or fat, im building up my muscles and my stomach is nearly all the way flat so I know I am losing fat.

I really want to just get rid of my excess fat so my abs show, I really have no clue how much I am going to have to lose for that to happen. Hopefully only a few more pounds as my original weight loss goal was 130-135, and I am now 3-8 pounds UNDER that mark and now my goal is like 120-125. GAH
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Don't worry about the set back. The weight will come off in no time considering the amount of exercise you are doing. Put it behind you and move on. You will get to your goal, no problem!! Look at how far you have come so far- this is just a little bump in the road.
 
shawnnam said:
Anyways, I have been meaning to post this, but I have been forgetting. So, many people here have a problem with loose skin if they have lost a lot of weight. I know it doesn't seem like I have this problem, but ladies if you have had a lot of weight loss have you noticed a ton of extra skin on your tata's!? GAH, my chest went from a 38 DD down to like a 32 large B/small C.... this is just unacceptable, and now my boobs are deflated and excess skin. This has been the biggest downside to my weight loss :( It is weird this happened because before when I was 122 pounds and 15 years old I was a C/D and had a great chest now that I am 127 and 21 my chest is like a deflated old ladies! BARG!... Who wants to donate to my 'Get a new chest' fund? :D

I went from being an illegal watermelon smuggler to the chair person of the itty bitty titty committee :( View attachment 14799

View attachment 14800
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Oh my gosh I thought I was the only one!!! :willy_nilly: I have the same problem and HATE it! Everything else pretty much toned up with the exception that my thighs needs a little work. I went from a 36-38DD to a 32C and even thought I was very happy with the size going down, I can't be 5'1 with DD's, they are like pancakes!! Flat, deflated just plain U-G-L-Y! I'm not sure that anything can be done about that outside of plastic surgery and I'm not sure that the scars will be worth it to me, I don't heal well so they could just be uglier. I have no helpful words besides you're not alone :grouphug: lol
 
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So, I was really good with eating and exercising and then I just stopped again, WTH is my problem!?!?!?!?. I honestly feel like it does help a little because I eat low calories that are pretty much all healthy, then out of no where for a couple of days I eat junk then go back to healthy and exercise... it seems like this is the cause for the losses I am having.

Realistically I should not be losing weight at the rate I am with me being so close to an underweight BMI, usually & in the past I have gotten to 130 pounds and it was literally impossible to get any lower, and honestly going from 134 to 127 was some of the easiest weight I have lost so far. So maybe my slacking is somewhat helpful as long as i don't do it for too long? WHo knows.

Oh, and I learned that when you do HIIT workouts you have "the after burn effect" for about 24-48 hours AFTER your workout, which would explain why I have no gained from not working out for a few days and eating junk... my body burns calories on the days that I haven't been working out.
 
shawnnam said:
So, I was really good with eating and exercising and then I just stopped again, WTH is my problem!?!?!?!?. I honestly feel like it does help a little because I eat low calories that are pretty much all healthy, then out of no where for a couple of days I eat junk then go back to healthy and exercise... it seems like this is the cause for the losses I am having.

Realistically I should not be losing weight at the rate I am with me being so close to an underweight BMI, usually & in the past I have gotten to 130 pounds and it was literally impossible to get any lower, and honestly going from 134 to 127 was some of the easiest weight I have lost so far. So maybe my slacking is somewhat helpful as long as i don't do it for too long? WHo knows.

Oh, and I learned that when you do HIIT workouts you have "the after burn effect" for about 24-48 hours AFTER your workout, which would explain why I have no gained from not working out for a few days and eating junk... my body burns calories on the days that I haven't been working out.
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Hi,

This is what is worrying me when I go on maintenance - the dips in my determination for NOT eating junk. Honestly, I don't think anyone can go through life and not binge every once in a while but maybe the up and down of the calories is confusing your body so the weight falls off. Their are diets out there that allow you a cheat day ( on some diets I think it is called a refeed day) . On that day you can eat what you want then the next day you go back to strict calorie counting. I guess you are doing this naturally-lol. I am glad though that your junk days are not causing a weight gain- that is what I am worried about. Old habits are hard to break sometimes.
 
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