Owl writes about things that make people blush

Today is going to be the longest day evuuuhhhh! Our appointment book looks like we have a patient checking in every 10 minutes, plus we have two visiting providers seeing patients and some lady just showed up from our other office to "help" me with our data entry. I'm ony 25% done with my first cup of coffee for the morning. I didn't get to shower this morning because a)I woke up late and B)the lights in my bathroom are out because there was a torrential rain downpour last night and something electrical must be wet, which is not a good thing.

The trainer stood me up last night, okay, he had a legitimate excuse, he's an EMT and he got called out, so we are going to try again for tonight. Mr. Hottiehothot brought rocky road ice cream over last night. I told him he must like the chunky ladies if he feeds his chicks like that. I obstained and drank a beer instead...lol. We got about, oh, 1/2 of one wall primed in the spare room then rolled around on the floor laughing and making out. We talked a lot. I decided, I don't really like him that much. He's nice on the eyes, we laugh easily together...but, he's kind of...ditzy. I mean, he can pretend to be smart, but its a superficial smart. I told him I'd rather just be friends, because he is awesome, as a friend. He got mildly offended, we called it a night and he left.

Food yesterday was...eh...pretty bad. I'm planning on taking it easy today to compensate. I'll go work out after work with the trainer, providing nothing comes up.
 
420 calories for a fucking salad? My sis dropped off a Safeway Signature Cafe oriental salad with chicken, 420 calories. oh, and she threw in an Odwalla Superfood for another 260 calories. I don't know how she eats the way she does and stays smaller then me. I'm going to eat the salad, but the Odwalla Superfood...its green...and I wouldn't use it to wash my ass with due to all the sugar in it. A fucking 420 calorie salad. I'm still baffled.
 
I guess there is. I've always believed in the power of prayer because I've seen amazing things happen on faith alone.
I knew there was a reason it wasn't clicking, and even though I wanted it on some very shallow level, on a deeper level I didn't so I let the barriers thrown in my way dictate my actions instead of overcoming them. Thankfully...for once...lol!
 
I'm proud of you Owl...

I've discovered that the things and people in our lives aren't about what they seem like they are about at that moment in time...they're actually an opportunity for us to push away or draw closer to Love. I capitalized "Love" because I'm using it as a proper name... ;)

E.
<><
 
Thanks. I don't know why I'm even dating at this point in my life. I'm not looking for anything special, just a little attention of the adult variety. I guess when I am ready for the capitol "L" Love I'll stop pursuing the hot guys and start pursuing the guys I actually find attractive (hint: it has nothing to do with physical appearence). Hot guys are fun for few dates and a roll in the sheets, I can't take them home to my parents.
 
The thing is, you won't get the capital L "Love" from any man (or woman for that matter!).

It goes back to what we choose to fill the "void" with...sorry I speak in riddles, lol.

E.
 
.5 lbs. Thats how much I've lost in the last week. Ya, its a loss...but, shit! I guess I'm going to have to try harder. My pants are still tight, my obscence muffin top is still dominating the scene, I need to find more time to work out. Working out more will speed things up, I know. If I dedicate myself to 75 minutes of cardio 4 times a week like I did last year I know I can speed things up. I just want to be able to have time to strength train also and not just dedicate my time only to cardio. I need an elliptical for home, or for my office, that would make things easier...lol! Hmmm, I wonder...

Has anyone had those lean cuisine panini things? OMG, they are nasty! Tastes like someone sprayed them with bug spray or something. I bought three of them last night when I was grocery shopping because they were on sale and now I have to suffer through two more. Ick. I'm not much for convenience food, I prefer to call over processed pre-packaged food "diabetes in a box", but I am trying to find more time to work out and if I can spend less time cooking and eating...well, then, I can take longer at the gym.

I'm laying down plans for the weekend already. There is a golf tournament on sat and sun and I am soooo there. I love golf! The best thing about this golf tourny, its on a mountain, in tundra. Lots of hiking involved. I'm going to strap my clubs onto my Son's back (he's my official caddy), grab a cooler of cocktails and spend two days with my girlfriends hittin' balls. Nothing sounds better right now. I hope its nice out instead of the rain that we have had for the last week. But, even if its raining, we'll deal wif it, we are as outdoorsey as women come. Except for maybe our friend Sonia, but she's from Chicago...she can't help it.

I'm pretty proud of myself today. I restrained myself to two beers last night. The first one washed the taste of that nasty lean cuisine out of my mouth, and the second one helped my sleeping pill kick in faster. I was snoozin' by 10:30pm, like a baby without a care. I'm still trying to get more sleep, for almost two years I was averaging about 5 hours a night and that really takes it's toll on a girl. Now I'm up to 7-8 hours a night and I do feel so much better. So much so that I'm considering quitting my job and becoming a full-time sleeper. I have this awesome bed, that for the last few years has not been getting the attention it deserves. Maybe I need to re-evaluate my priorities in life...career vs. sleeping.
 
I used to blog. I should do that again, but I ended up with a crazy blogstalker and almost went into hiding. I suppose a book could do the same thing, unless I publish it under a pseudonym...like, say, Owl. I'll need a pseudonym last name, I'll leave that up to you, Changes. Thanks for the compliment, now my inflated ego is going to weigh me down all day, and not in a beneficial way like ankle weights do.
 
Owl said:
So much so that I'm considering quitting my job and becoming a full-time sleeper. I have this awesome bed, that for the last few years has not been getting the attention it deserves. Maybe I need to re-evaluate my priorities in life...career vs. sleeping.
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Nope, stay your course. No career=no beer and no food. Instead, spend plenty of time in bed with your hottiehots to make up for it. Every hour and a half in the sack with someone else makes up for a 5 hour night. Add more peoples to the mix for faster results.

Also, same as everyone else says, great read in here.
 
I'm just LOL-ing over here.. your diary is hilarious- reminds me when I had a life and stuff to do ... now it's like, boring. Thanks for the laughs... and
"I heart Penis!" HAHAHHAAAAHAHAHA
 
Owl said:
Has anyone had those lean cuisine panini things? OMG, they are nasty! Tastes like someone sprayed them with bug spray or something. I bought three of them last night when I was grocery shopping because they were on sale and now I have to suffer through two more. Ick. I'm not much for convenience food, I prefer to call over processed pre-packaged food "diabetes in a box", but I am trying to find more time to work out and if I can spend less time cooking and eating...well, then, I can take longer at the gym.
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Definitely have to agree with this! I bought one the other week, also because it was on sale, and OMG they are sooo nasty! Im glad i bought just one because i didnt even get through the first bite without spitting it out and throwing the rest of it away. No kidding they were on sale, but really i dont think they deserve to cost more than $0.02 lol.

Haha career vs. sleeping? Dont we all wish we could choose to sleep over being up early everyday to deal with other ppls crap lol. At least you have an amazing bed. I get all the sleep i need, but my bed is 20 years old at the LEAST and starting to get very uncomfortable, especially when i feel like im falling into the hole my bf is sleeping in next to me lol. Nevermind the noises it makes when i want to bring a special someone (the boyfriend lol) into it for a sack session ;) hahah
 
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fitforaking said:
Last name possibility = Igator

Owl Igator :)
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LOL! OMG, I love that!

confuzzledwife said:
I'm just LOL-ing over here.. your diary is hilarious- reminds me when I had a life and stuff to do ... now it's like, boring. Thanks for the laughs... and
"I heart Penis!" HAHAHHAAAAHAHAHA
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I used to have a life and stuff to do too, now I just have to use my wit and snark to spice things up so people will read about it. Also, I think its my sense of humor that keeps me going. Otherwise, I probably would have fallen into a hole of self pity years ago, adopted 100 cats and let my hair get all crazy.

MicheeH said:
Haha career vs. sleeping? Dont we all wish we could choose to sleep over being up early everyday to deal with other ppls crap lol. At least you have an amazing bed. I get all the sleep i need, but my bed is 20 years old at the LEAST and starting to get very uncomfortable, especially when i feel like im falling into the hole my bf is sleeping in next to me lol. Nevermind the noises it makes when i want to bring a special someone into it for a sack session ;) hahah
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Is your boyfriend a differnt person then the special someone you bring into the sack? Inneresting....
 
Owl said:
Is your boyfriend a differnt person then the special someone you bring into the sack? Inneresting....
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LMAO no no! Oh god no lmao...i am very very very faithful to my bf and he is most definitely the special person haha..wow i really screwed up that last post cuz reading it again it makes it seem like what you were thinking lol...oh boy
 
MicheeH said:
LMAO no no! Oh god no lmao...i am very very very faithful to my bf and he is most definitely the special person haha..wow i really screwed up that last post cuz reading it again it makes it seem like what you were thinking lol...oh boy
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I knew what you meant, I just had to give you shit about how you wrote it!

Okay, last night was terrible! One of my old roomies stopped by to help me clean up the room they were in, you know, steam clean the carpets and wash the walls, because they smoked pot in there. My Son was exploring some new found freedom and rode his bike to the pool all by himself (its less than a block away...I can see the building the pool is in from my front porch). Well, I got caught up in all the work that we were doing and before I knew it, it was 9pm, and my son was not home from the pool yet. Of course I freaked out.

I got on my bike and rode to the pool, the lifeguard said that my Son had been there, but he had gotton out of the pool about an hour prior to my frantic arrival. WHAT! Where the hell is he? His bike was still parked at the bike rack outside.

My parents live about a block from the pool, so I called them to see if he decided to visit them. He wasn't there. But, just by calling them I freaked them out, so within a minute, they were at the pool too. We started searching the building, and around the building. The pool was closing so other kids started helping us search. Then, this young boy who always plays with my son at the pool came out of the locker room. I asked him if he knew where my son was. "Oh, ya, we was in the shower for a long time, see, I'm still all wrinkly!" The freakin' turd was in the shower for over an hour! And ya, he was all wrinkly too, and very proud of it.

And of course, I can't get mad at him, he has no sense of time when he's absorbed in something, and just the fact that he was interacting with another child is something for him. It just scared the crap out of me. I think I imagined every bad scenario that could have possible happened. I was literally so scared for a few minutes that I thought I was either going to puke or shit my pants. Neither one happened, but they are both still an option. I must have released all mys stress hormones at once because I woke up this morning with a raging headache and zits. And all night long I dreaded terrible dreams.

The first thing my Son said to me this morning: "Can I go to the pool again tonight?"
 
I just read through your journal a bit and I have to say, you and I have a lot in common. Why? Because...

Owl said:
I love hot guys!
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...I LOVE HOT GUYS TOO!!! Especially ones that wear neck ties...and nothing else. MMM MMMMMM!!! Umm, that was outloud, wasn't it? Son of a...

Umm, anyway, I just thought I'd stop by and say "hi". And, maybe some other stuff too. I mean, what if my post was literally just "hi" and then I left it at that? People would read it and go, "Wow, that guy sucks really bad" or "I hope he gets hit by an ice cream truck". An ice cream truck? What the...apparently, it's 1956 and I live in a cliche, Leave It To Beaver type of neighborhood, because I reference ICE CREAM TRUCKS. Mmmmm...ice creeeeeam.

But, back on track...it seems like you're on the right...track? Eww, I used "track" twice in one sentence. I guess I'll have to start keeping track of how many times I use the word "track" in a sentence and I'll have to track down the reasons as to why my track record has so many sentences that have "track" in them. Yes, I'm awesome. But, no...you're doing good.

I enjoy the way you talk. Talk? Write? Post? Whatever...you're not stuffy and I like that. Keep up the good work and uh...yeah...keep on keepin' on.

...

...

TRACK
 
ChefChiTown said:
I just read through your journal a bit and I have to say, you and I have a lot in common. Why? Because...



...I LOVE HOT GUYS TOO!!! Especially ones that wear neck ties...and nothing else. MMM MMMMMM!!! Umm, that was outloud, wasn't it? Son of a...

Umm, anyway, I just thought I'd stop by and say "hi". And, maybe some other stuff too. I mean, what if my post was literally just "hi" and then I left it at that? People would read it and go, "Wow, that guy sucks really bad" or "I hope he gets hit by an ice cream truck". An ice cream truck? What the...apparently, it's 1956 and I live in a cliche, Leave It To Beaver type of neighborhood, because I reference ICE CREAM TRUCKS. Mmmmm...ice creeeeeam.

But, back on track...it seems like you're on the right...track? Eww, I used "track" twice in one sentence. I guess I'll have to start keeping track of how many times I use the word "track" in a sentence and I'll have to track down the reasons as to why my track record has so many sentences that have "track" in them. Yes, I'm awesome. But, no...you're doing good.

I enjoy the way you talk. Talk? Write? Post? Whatever...you're not stuffy and I like that. Keep up the good work and uh...yeah...keep on keepin' on.

...

...

TRACK
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Nothing beats death by ice cream truck...if I go...when I go, thats how I want to leave this world...either that or maybe mid orgasm from an anurysm in the pleasure center of my brain.

I like guys who wear ties too, only because it gives me something to strangle them with when they piss me off.

I'll be staying on track, and also tracking my progress here, so stop on by in your finest track suit and pay me a visit once in a while. I promise to be topless most of the time.
 
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