Owl writes about things that make people blush

Just ignore that fact tho that she used to look like Richard Simmons....no wait, that was just her avatar...sorry.

Visions of a topless Richard Simmons just did some definite damage to the ol' processor!

E.
 
I actually envy the head of hair on Richard Simmons, if I had hair like that, I'd let the fro grow and grow, I'd be the blonde version of Erika Badu, undulating topless with a sweaty bellybutton.
 
Owl said:
Nothing beats death by ice cream truck...if I go...when I go, thats how I want to leave this world...either that or maybe mid orgasm from an anurysm in the pleasure center of my brain.

I like guys who wear ties too, only because it gives me something to strangle them with when they piss me off.

I'll be staying on track, and also tracking my progress here, so stop on by in your finest track suit and pay me a visit once in a while. I promise to be topless most of the time.
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That would be a nice way to go. Well, both of them are; ice cream truck or mid-orgasm death. Here's how I want to go...

I want it to be a cool, breezy Autumn afternoon. The leaves are falling, the children are laughing and the wind is playing a symphony in the sky. In the distance, you can hear the sounds of rustling leaves and the song of birds. It's beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that a single tear makes it way out of my eye. As it slowly rolls down my cheek, it reminds me that the sadness in life is what makes it so beautiful. My tear is symbolic, making me feel more alive than I ever have before. My heart flutters with joy and the pit of my stomach fills with a feeling of fulfillment that makes me want to visit each and every person I love so I can put my welcoming arms around them to let them know how much they mean to me. I take a deep breath and allow my new serenity to wave through my soul. I'm ready for my new life to begin. I turn to make my way towards my loved ones, so I can share my new found peace with them, and then BAM...

I get raped and mauled by an angry marsupial.

Yeeeeeah, that's how I want to die. If you'd like, you can be there to watch. Apparently, you'll probably be topless too, which will add to the awesomeness of my demise. But, just be sure to bring a camera. I want someone to take a picture as soon as the marsupial begins to have it's way with me. It'll be epic.
 
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Seriously dude....don't you think you're being a little over-dramatic with the leaves? *sarcasm*

So what's your choice of marsupial? Possum? Wallaby? Tasmanian Devil? Or big daddy kangaroo? :)
 
ChefChiTown said:
That would be a nice way to go. Well, both of them are; ice cream truck or mid-orgasm death. Here's how I want to go...

I want it to be a cool, breezy Autumn afternoon. The leaves are falling, the children are laughing and the wind is playing a symphony in the sky. In the distance, you can hear the sounds of rustling leaves and the song of birds. It's beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that a single tear makes it way out of my eye. As it slowly rolls down my cheek, it reminds me that the sadness in life is what makes it so beautiful. My tear is symbolic, making me feel more alive than I ever have before. My heart flutters with joy and the pit of my stomach fills with a feeling of fulfillment that makes me want to visit each and every person I love so I can put my welcoming arms around them to let them know how much they mean to me. I take a deep breath and allow my new serenity to wave through my soul. I'm ready for my new life to begin. I turn to make my way towards my loved ones, so I can share my new found peace with them, and then BAM...

I get raped and mauled by an angry marsupial.

Yeeeeeah, that's how I want to die. If you'd like, you can be there to watch. Apparently, you'll probably be topless too, which will add to the awesomeness of my demise. But, just be sure to bring a camera. I want someone to take a picture as soon as the marsupial begins to have it's way with me. It'll be epic.
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Laughing children are going to be watching this, are they yours? When your dead, I'm going to lay down with your ruined corpse and take a few pics "myspace" style so your fatherless children have something to make them cry...since they'll be laughing in the distance over all of this, they need some kind of visual stimulation to get them in the mourning mood. Also, they'll make great avitars, even better then Richard Simmons.

But, if its autumn, the chances of me being totally topless is little to none. In the autumn I wear pasties to keep the nips warm.
 
.5 lbs. Thats how much I've lost in the last week. Ya, its a loss...but, shit! I guess I'm going to have to try harder. My pants are still tight, my obscence muffin top is still dominating the scene, I need to find more time to work out. Working out more will speed things up, I know. If I dedicate myself to 75 minutes of cardio 4 times a week like I did last year I know I can speed things up. I just want to be able to have time to strength train also and not just dedicate my time only to cardio.
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I know what you mean about how it'll speed things up. I've gotten to the point where I'm not exercising at all. So even starting to work out like 3 or 4 days a week would probably help me shift most of what I'd like to lose.
Isn't that silly that I know I can do something to change the situation I'm in but I'm just too apathetic? haha.

Good luck with getting more involved in strength training. It's always a great feeling to feel strong and fit and powerful! And don't worry about only losing 0.5lbs! Every step counts! March on!
 
I know what you mean! I know how to do this and have done it before with great results. I was all the way down to 158, which was a 100 lbs loss for me, but I let it creep back on (even though I swore I wouldn't) and now I struggle anew. This time though, I'd like to eat more food while losing. Last time I was the deprivation queen and look where that got me. Chowing down on all I missed and then BAM, right back where I started.

I envision myself in the next few years having better upper body strength, so the next time I'm locked out of my house and need to pull myself up through a window a foot higher than my head I don't make a complete specticle of myself like the last time. Also, next time I'll be wearing more then a bath towel.
 
I should either stop posting about nekedness or post a real picture of myself so fitforaking won't forever visualize me as Richard Simmons in pasties.
 
the next time I'm locked out of my house and need to pull myself up through a window a foot higher than my head I don't make a complete specticle of myself like the last time. Also, next time I'll be wearing more then a bath towel.
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Bahahahah. :)

I must admit that I've never locked myself out while naked. But I have had the pleasure of crawling through a kitchen window at 240 lbs ... I'm sure it was quite attractive from the outside view. ;)
 
You definitely have bigger guns than Richard Simmons ;)

The hair....ehhh, notsomuch...

But even with the guns, much less scary....

See ya later Owl Igator!

E.
 
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Oh how I wish I could rewind time and redo last night completely. I am so tired. I went and did my cardio and strength training after work, which lasted forever, becasue the gym was jam packed with people, for the first time ever, I had to sign in and wait for an elliptical. And then there was a 30 minute time limit. So, feeling like I got nothing accomplished I decided to go for a bike ride afterwards. I ate shit coming down a steep mountain road, flipped right over my handlebars, landed on my tailbone and my elbows. Not happy. I had to come into the office last night and have my co-workers bandage my elbows. And I'd love nothing more then to take today off and just sit at home and lick my wounds, but its payroll today and people get pissed when I don't pay them.

For dinner last night I ate dirt. And then I had some tomatos with salt and pepper and mustard wrapped up in lettuce leaves, a few pain killers and 5 beers. I stayed up late watching tv with my ex boyfriend who decided to stop by and visit our guitar (a mutually owned item that I got custody of in the break up). Then we passed out on the couch and I woke up at 5am with a screaming pain in my tailbone, which I am positive is broken. Thank goodness I was wearing my helmet for once, or I'd still be on that mountain road, all dead and shit, with birds pecking my eyes out. And we all know thats not how I want to go.
 
Oh my you poor thing! TGIF! It sounds like you need a weekend to relax and heal and its right around the corner:)
 
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Ow ow ow ow ow.

Sounds like we both had bad exercise nights last night. I hope your tailbone isn't broken - maybe just badly bruised? Either way .. OW.
 
And Lord knows you'd be hard pressed to find an ice cream truck on a mountain road that time of night to put you out of your misery...

E.
 
Thank you all for the pity, it has officially become a pity party in here. The dirt was gritty, could have used some gaaahlick.

Spark: Don't take this as an example of bad things that can happen on bikes, I'm an idiot and always ride roads and trails that only experts should venture on.

I'm still planning on golfing all weekend, we've already paid the tournament fees and bought the cocktail fixin's and I dusted off my clubs on wednesday and lightened my bag so my son can carry it, kissed all my balls and shapied my signature insignia on them...and bought the tourny t-shirt to wear...no backing out now! And who would want to, golf is one of my favorite sports and I only get to play it maybe three times a year if I'm lucky.

The boss just gave me a lidopatch for my butt...erm...I mean tailbone...it'll be nice and numb here pretty soon. Then I can continue to sit on it and process payroll to my little hearts content. Yeah.
 
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