One step at a time...

I think deep down I think I'll only be able to have a proper relationship once I'm slim, and until that day I kind of bail before it gets hard. Crikey this is like therapy hehe.

hahah! Yeah, totally therapy here. And it's GOOD! :D

I hope you come to the point where you realize that a good relationship isn't based on what size you are. :) *hugs*
 
Well today was a weird day...I can't quite explain it. I woke up motivated as hell, had a banana and off to the gym I went. Had a good session, got back and met up with my best mate and her gorgeous little baby boy and another mate. They went and had a ruddy massive fry up in wetherspoons and I didn't. Instead, I stole the baby and played with him, trying my best to ignore the lush wafts of hash browns and bacon. Haha. The girls couldn't quite believe it, which made me feel great.

However, this was to be my downfall because I actually was quite hungry at this point so when I got home, my stupid mentality told me that I'd done soooo well and now I could have a nice lunch lol. Anyway, I had 500kcals which wasn't the end of the world, then I had a 94kcal ice cream, not too bad. Then I had some cereal, about 300kcal, and then fish and chips, oh I dunno about a millions kcals lol.

Argh why oh why did I do this. But, it's ok because I did a great workout and probably still didn't go beyond 2000kcals so it's not the end of the world. And this isn't the same as normal, I'm not giving up. Onwards and upwards chicas x
 
Like you say , not the end of the world. The important thing is to get straight back on track and be thankful that you didn't have the fry up and the fish and chips. It's important not to get hungry so while your friends had the fry up you should have eaten something else then but something more healthy. We all have bad days but just don't get defeated by them and turn them into a full binge session.
 
It's important not to get hungry so while your friends had the fry up you should have eaten something else then but something more healthy. We all have bad days but just don't get defeated by them and turn them into a full binge session.

Val is totally right. :) Letting ourselves get too hungry opens us wide open for cravings and binging. I always try and carry some Wheat Thins or peanuts with me when I know I'm going to be out for longer than a couple hours. Just pre-measuring a couple of small snack bags and putting them in your purse can help give you enough of a boost to keep a binge away. :D
 
However, I have always had a niggling feeling that even if a guy appreciates me 100% on a personal lever, in the bedroom whatever, there is always that slight feeling of 'I wish she was thinner so my mates would think I've pulled a hottie'. Maybe I'm being paranoid, maybe not but I'm tired of it even being a consideration.

I worry about that kind of thing. I don't worry about my bf's feelings cause I know, if anything, he would prefer me bigger than smaller. I do, however, really worry about what his parents think of me ('isn't it a shame our son couldn't get a normal sized girl') or people who know I'm a healthcare student ('how can she tell people how to live healthily when she's obese?). I think it's all down to that classic low self esteem.

I wish I could swap mindsets with Stacy!

I've spent the first 31 years of my life as a fat person and now I want to experience the next 31+ years as a thin person. Life is about the journey. I want to experience what it's like "on the other side". lol

That's such an inspiring way of looking at things. I love your attitude Stacy, it made me smile and feel good about myself, thank you.
 
That's such an inspiring way of looking at things. I love your attitude Stacy, it made me smile and feel good about myself, thank you.

Awww! Thank you, Holly, that's so sweet of you to say. :) I'm glad what I said could bring a smile to your face, hon! I hope you are feeling good about yourself. Feeling bad about ourselves based on what we see in the mirror is the most pointless pursuit when who we are is so much more than that.
 
I agree with Stacy, the way we look is just one tiny aspect of who we are as a person. As long as we are nice people, then our beauty shines through regardless of the outside appearance.

Just got back from work, hence me not writing on here yesterday. I hate working weird shifts, in fact I'm currently trying to find another job to gain a sense of normality in my life. I don't enjoy being on a completely different schedule to everyone else.

Anyway, back to the purpose of this diary. Yesterday was okay I think, cereal for breakky, half pack of chicken noodles for lunch (222 kcal), apple, piece of fish and some oven chips for tea. Probably not enough water so will try and drink extra today. I really thought drinking a lot of water would help clear my skin up, but it really hasn't! Gutted.

Got a step class later today and will go to the gym tomorrow. But for now, I am soooo tired I'm gonna go and catch 40 winks hehe. Have a good day everyone x
 
I am in A WORLD OF PAIN!

And the reason why...Step Class! Never again ladies, never ever again. It was an hour of absolute pain, which normally would be ok if the class was fun, but it wasn't. The instructor terrified me, even before she'd started the class. She was massive, like a bodybuilder. She reminded me somewhat of that scary head teacher in Matilda. Enough to put me off!

Had an okay food day I guess, could have been better. I skipped breakfast, whoops, pasta for lunch (440kcal) and chilli for tea (smaller portion than normal) and a small trifle for desert. That's me done for today, probably about 1300kcal and an hour of hellish exercise. Not too shoddy. Just wish it would show on the scales...
 
Yeah it really is frustrating when you're doing your best but it's not showing on the dumbass scale haha it'll happen eventually though - something's gotta give and I know it isn't gonna be you Pip!

I've liked some gym classes in the past but I've always found I worry too much about getting the moves right and that can lead to feeling like a bit of a failure when I don't (which is most of the time haha) and failure isn't the greatest motivator to keep on going!

I really admire you for trying out all these new things by the way, I'm such a wuss and I mostly stick to what I know.
 
Haha, thanks. Thought I would try them all out seeing as I have a membership. Normally my two best girl friends come with me so I have to try so hard to keep a straight face as I undoubtedly make a fool of myself. LOL.

It's so nice to hear you have faith in my efforts. This is what will keep me going when the Ben and Jerry's starts calling. And it WILL call! x
 
about 1300kcal and an hour of hellish exercise. Not too shoddy. Just wish it would show on the scales...

Oh it definitely will show up on the scales. :) Sometimes it can take a week or so to show up on the scales because of water retention. But in the end, you can't lose with calories in calories out! :D In a 24 hour period between your "hellish exercise" and your low calorie eating your body burned more calories than you took it in. You did awesome! Keep up the great work and it's guaranteed to show up on the scales - sometimes it just takes a while. :)
 
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Thanks Stacy, how are you? x

I'm good. I'm in another "stall" period - which usually happens right before I lose weight quickly. So it's been hard watching the scale sit still, but I know that it won't last.

Other than that, things have been going great. The Sweetie and I have been doing a lot of physical activities together (long walks, playing on the Wii, etc). I love that he's been encouraging me on this journey. I was worried he'd be against it, since he met and fell in love with me at my highest weight. But he's been very supportive. :)

How about you, how have you been, hun? What's new with you?
 
Aww you're other half sounds loverly. It's so nice when you have that unconditional support. I live with my mum and she is overweight also. We normally are a terrible influence on each other because if I want something she'll just go ahhhh ok then let's go and get it, and the other way around. Slight turn of events this time though as my mum is not currently in 'the zone' so is not eating healthily or exercising. BUT I AM! It's almost easier, because she's not being good at all, so it's easier to just keep what I'm doing totally separate, does that make any sense?

Other than that life is ok. Doing my classes, eating ok, working, seeing friends. Would like to start playing tennis, but the only person I know who I can play with is my ex boyfriend and believe me, that's not a good idea. I'll keep looking for someone to have a game with.

Doing a carboot sale today, need some dosh! Fingers crossed for a good turn out. Have a good day everyone xxxxx
 
Aww you're other half sounds loverly. It's so nice when you have that unconditional support.

You're totally right! It's amazing how much having someone to support you helps. That's not to say that one can't do it alone - but it's always helpful to have a support system. I guess that's why this place is such a wonderful spot to hang out - the support one gets here is phenomenal! :D


I live with my mum and she is overweight also. We normally are a terrible influence on each other because if I want something she'll just go ahhhh ok then let's go and get it, and the other way around. Slight turn of events this time though as my mum is not currently in 'the zone' so is not eating healthily or exercising. BUT I AM! It's almost easier, because she's not being good at all, so it's easier to just keep what I'm doing totally separate, does that make any sense?

That makes total sense. It's easy to let someone sabotage you if you're both "on the same road", you figure - Hey, if they are willing to splurge then it's ok if I do it too, but if you are on completely different paths then it's easier to stay focused and make the healthy choices for yourself. Let her be unhealthy - in the end this is your body and your life, and it's your gift to yourself to become healthier so you can live a longer and happier life.

Doing a carboot sale today, need some dosh!

You totally need to translate that. lol I have no idea what "carboot" and "dosh" are. Cultural differences? lol

It sounds like you're doing fabulous. :) You'll find the right tennis partner. Life has a way of leading the right people into our lives when we need them.
 
Haha Stacy that made me chuckle. Erm I guess you would say a yard sale, but people do them out of their carboots in a big field lol. Also dosh is money. I should be the offical translator for this site! x
 
Haha Stacy that made me chuckle. Erm I guess you would say a yard sale, but people do them out of their carboots in a big field lol. Also dosh is money. I should be the offical translator for this site! x

Ohhh! I see, so I'm guessing a "carboot" is the trunk of a car? How odd! lol (I don't mean that in a bad way.)

Though usually over on this "side of the pond" when someone is selling something out of the trunk of their car it's stolen stuff they are trying to get rid of. lol Selling stuff out of the trunk of your car over here is considered kind of a "shady" thing to do. hahah Oh wow, how different cultures can be! :D

While we're translating - Cookies are called Biscuits over there right? And Chips are Crisps? And a Dude is a Bloke and a Chick is a Bird? And a Cigarette is a Fag? lol :svengo: I so want to come and visit! I'd learn a lot! It's crazy how, even though we speak the same language, some things still need translating. If you say fag around here, many people are apt to get mighty upset. Just goes to show it's less about the words and more about the intent.
 
Yes well we don't actually sell the stuff out of the car, but we take it to the carboot sale in the boot of a car lol and then put it out on a table and sell it.

All of those translations were spot on lol, although if we call someone a fag, we would get the same reaction as you!

I've sort of come unstuck a little with my weight loss. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been bad and I've still been going to my classes and the gym but the weight loss has halted some what. I know I could be better with my eating so I'm spending today looking through this forum to get some added motivation and tips and tricks to pick it up. I'e just got home from a week at work. I turned up at 8am on Saturday and have just got home. Sucks. It's so hard to eat right at work because the kids always want to watch dvds and get sweets and popcorn. Also, it's a pretty stressy job and sometimes you just need the energy.

Right I'm off to get motivated! x
 
Haha Stacy that made me chuckle. Erm I guess you would say a yard sale, but people do them out of their carboots in a big field lol. Also dosh is money. I should be the offical translator for this site! x
LOL that made me laugh as well. As soon as I read it I thought that non English people would probably have problems understanding such an English phrase.
Though usually over on this "side of the pond" when someone is selling something out of the trunk of their car it's stolen stuff they are trying to get rid of. lol Selling stuff out of the trunk of your car over here is considered kind of a "shady" thing to do. hahah Oh wow, how different cultures can be! :D
To us English stolen goods are not 'sold out of the trunk of your car' but have 'fallen off the back of a lorry'. A lorry being a truck:)
2 words that can cause some embarrassing confusion are fanny and bum. :D
 
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I'm sorry to hear that your weight loss has stalled a little bit. You have lost 16 lbs, so have you adjusted your calorie intake since starting your journey? The less you weigh the less calories your body will burn. So you'll need to keep dropping your daily calorie goals every 10 lbs or so that you lose. :)
 
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