Hi, all,
well, I was working out tonight and I got to thinking... I am afraid of starting working out routine. I know it sounds silly, but its just in the past every time I tried to exercise to loose weight I never lost anything, and I did not see ANY postive changes in my body. And for some reason that makes me afraid that if I start consistantly working out now, it will actually STOP my weight loss progress going forward. I know that fear is silly, but it is real. The only time I actually lost weight from working out is when I was working out 1-2 hrs a day, 7 days a week, and it was not all at the gym. I would do weights in the gym for about an hour, and I rode horses 4 times a week, and I think I was jogging then too, I don't remember exactly. I actually was not trying to loose anything, I was working out because it made me feel strong.
I know that as long as I'm working out for "weight loss", nothing is going to happen. I need to switch my thinking somehow, that I'm working out so I can feel better, stronger, not because of weight loss.
Another thing about workout is really bothering me. When I work out I see all the fat jiggling and tiny meager little muscle buried deep under it. And it really lowers my self esteem, because I start hating my body, and then I get angry and depressed because I'm so fat. So instead of workout making me feel emotionally better, it is making me feel emotionally worse. I know that somehow I need to change that line of thinking but I'm at a loss on how to go about it. Do you guys have any suggestions? Does anyone ever feel that way?
I know I will succeed with workout if I do it just for fun, like certain sports. But workout for workout sake brings out all the negative emotions and fears. Does anyone know how I can change it? I can "just do it", but I really don't want to be miserable (emotionally) after every workout. Please Help!!!
P.S. I am cross-posting this in the club section so more people could give me some input.