Natsky's Diary: 100 pounds to lose!

[Natsky]

lol i attempt to be crafty but i cant say im good at it =P
good for you walking no matter how you feel
i need to borrow some of that motivation^^

Hey Angelica!!

I really wish I had some of my motivation back. Recently I weighed myself on my new scale and it said 277.4 pounds. Not very happy! Very upset actually! Just in May of 2008 I was 265 pounds. I obviously need the hype my walking up a little and do some weight exercises. Its been a disaster last night and past nights, but last night and the night before was worse than ever before. I binged like NO woman or man should!


So I took a nice walk today and I am going to try to pick up the pieces. I am mainly running on what my suger level says. I have diabeties 2, no fun!

thats why I am apple shaped, the diabeties.

But I shall find my motivation once again and stick with my lifestyle change!!

always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Happy Valentines Day!!!

i hope you and your fiance have a lovely time ^_~

Thanks hun!!

always
natsky

 

[AngelicaHope]

bleh i totally know how you feel... i have binged the last few days as well =T but tomorrow is monday... and i am starting my 2nd set of 5 weeks.. and added a few things to the regime.. =P

we just need to keep on moving forward... these small mistakes and blunders wont matter in the long run as long as we keep trying... the only time we really will not succeed is if we quit all together... and ive done that too many times to count... because to me it wasnt a lifestyle change... it was just a diet... and i wanted results quickly sooo i would try to walk ten miles in a day... without builing my endurance at all... haha but like i said thats in the past.

have a lovely day natsky^^

 

[Natsky]

bleh i totally know how you feel... i have binged the last few days as well =T but tomorrow is monday... and i am starting my 2nd set of 5 weeks.. and added a few things to the regime.. =P

we just need to keep on moving forward... these small mistakes and blunders wont matter in the long run as long as we keep trying... the only time we really will not succeed is if we quit all together... and ive done that too many times to count... because to me it wasnt a lifestyle change... it was just a diet... and i wanted results quickly sooo i would try to walk ten miles in a day... without builing my endurance at all... haha but like i said thats in the past.

have a lovely day natsky^^

Thats a good way to look at life in general Angelica!

I guess what really happened over the summer was I quit trying. After hearing the comments and jeers from my new city of residence, The kids yelling behind me and pointing at me "Look at that fat a**!" and running down the side walk I took pretty harshly. But spring is here and I have been out all day. And it feels good! It feels great to be among the people who love spring. I gained weight due to this not wanting to be around peeps, but my sister gave me one piece of advice. She told me "When you walk Natalie, You walk with head phones on. They are not there, Play the speakers as loud as you want, you cant hear them, thus they are not speaking to you."

So my fiance bought me a new set of wonderful headphones and I am going to use them with my portable disc player and walk. And just keep walking. Thanks for the motivation hun and I finally feel like this is a lifestyle change. My fiance offered me bacon with my turkey in a sandwhich. I told him a slice and a half of Turkey, one slice of swiss cheese and Whole wheat bread, with less fattenning mayo. I never eat Mayo, but its a treat.

But thanks for the advice and you keep trecking! You sound awesome! Right on track!!

always
Natsky

 

[AngelicaHope]

yeah your sister had some great advice...
i just cant believe how cruel people can be...
but just remember:
karma karma karma =P

 

[ABBAgirl]

Hi, NJ
Haven't stopped by in a while. It sounds like your sweetie is good to you, and that you both really enjoy each other. I am so glad about that! He sounds very supportive and understanding of the challenges you face. And it is so exciting the plans you are making for your ceremonial day in Sept!

So good job with all of your walking, regardless of whether you feel like it. So important!

Hope you are feeling good, don't let the turkeys get you down.

Cheers and
ABBA

 

[Natsky]

yeah your sister had some great advice...
i just cant believe how cruel people can be...
but just remember:
karma karma karma =P

Karma Karma Karma! So true my friend!

Thanks Angelica for stopping in. Not many peeps are stopping into my diary. It would be nice if more spoke, but so true to life, sometimes we walk to the road with only a few friends. And its really nice to see you in my diary, as Abba girl stops in once in a while too!

Yea my sister definitely had it right. I have been afraid to walk alone in this new city, but my fiance and I took different routes and it felt good not to be attached at the hip. Attaching at the hip can be a bad thing. We each need to be an individual and I think he and I need to have more space between each other. I have been suffocating and him, me. But he will enjoy going back to karate once again and be healthy. And while he is off, I will be walking all over the place. Its has been so beautiful!

so thanks for your support and hope the weather has been kind to you as well...

always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Hi, NJ
Haven't stopped by in a while. It sounds like your sweetie is good to you, and that you both really enjoy each other. I am so glad about that! He sounds very supportive and understanding of the challenges you face. And it is so exciting the plans you are making for your ceremonial day in Sept!

So good job with all of your walking, regardless of whether you feel like it. So important!

Hope you are feeling good, don't let the turkeys get you down.

Cheers and
ABBA

Hey Janice, or ABBA!

Its nice to see you. I was thinking of stopping into your diary, it moves so fast!!! lol

I almost can't keep up with others diaries, let alone mine, and only a couple peeps are writing in it. But I am enjoying walking now. I walk everywhere now, but now its time to detach from my fiances hip and try walking by myself. I have ventured to the commons, walked down to Hannafords...
I have been walking till the sun is about to go down. And starting at eleven am. Awesome! Stoked!

thanks for your support!!

always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Next Friday!!

Hello peeps,
I think by Next Friday, if not this Friday I will see a loss. I have been walking non stop. I realized quitting is not the thing to do, thanks Angelica for your words and you Abba too. Both of you have been so kind. And I am back on track. I have been reading a very good diabetic book from a group, Richard gave it to me. Richard is Derek's co worker and my friend and has diabeties 2, just like me and its because of our weight. After reading chapter after chapter, it made it very clear that one happens to me, depends on me. My life is up to me. All the changes I make, I must make on my own with the help of professionals of course. So I will be making an appt with a podiatrist to check my feet and make sure I never have to put up with the scary notion of losing a limb to diabeties. I will be have a refferal made to a dietician who will help me know how I have to eat and when I should time my metformin to be taken ( sugar drug, to make the insulin work in my body), unfortunately sometimes the insulin doesnt work regardless of the metformin. It all depends on how much activity you do in your life and eating habits. I am not on a diet , I am in the process of turning my life around and becoming dedicated once again to a better and healthier me. A person who will live a long life and have it all, the strength to work through problems and live with what I can't change. Someone my nieces can look up to, that would be me!!

Well ttylater folks
and heres hoping for continually good weather, I am so enjoying the warmer, milder weather. I will take the thirties over the twenties anyday. Plus the winds are high sometimes. Those are days I don't walk really, cold and freezing days. But I have been walking non stop now, all day!!


love you all
Natsky

 

[sophia28]

Hey Natsky, just popping in to say hi and saying you're doing so well with all your walking, resisting temptations here & there and just trucking along -- good for you!

And those headphones sure help don't they. I had to walk to work & back for 7 years and could never have done that without my iPod.
Not that people were shouting out at me, but I was worried that they MIGHT...... plus I am very sensitive to noise and people around me so I need to feel 'isolated' when I'm out and about. I'm very strange like that lol.

Thanks Angelica for stopping in. Not many peeps are stopping into my diary. It would be nice if more spoke, but so true to life, sometimes we walk to the road with only a few friends.

Natsky, very few people stop by my diary too , at first I thought it was cos I was new and hadn't built up much rapport with anyone, then I thought cos my journal just sucked haha, and then I decided it's as you said, there are just so many journals on here it's hard to post on other people's let alone have time for your own sometimes!!

It's so nice to see your boyfriend being supportive, that makes such a difference. I am feeling pretty much zero support from people in my life right now, but I guess we're all on our own little paths and got to just get on with it.

Take care and keep up the good work !

 

[AngelicaHope]

hmmm i used to be obsessed with posting like a bajillion posts a day... but now i am relaxing a bit... i make my rounds every couple of days...

lol the weather has been in the 50's here... but i think i have like lost my ability to stand the cold xD i lived in germany for 8 years... and would go out in the snow with a light jacket... but now i can hardly handle going out until at least the 60s... haha i have noooo clue how that happened... its really pretty outside today.

alone time is important. you do need to be your own person... =D

 

[Natsky]

Hey Natsky, just popping in to say hi and saying you're doing so well with all your walking, resisting temptations here & there and just trucking along -- good for you!

And those headphones sure help don't they. I had to walk to work & back for 7 years and could never have done that without my iPod.
Not that people were shouting out at me, but I was worried that they MIGHT...... plus I am very sensitive to noise and people around me so I need to feel 'isolated' when I'm out and about. I'm very strange like that lol.



Natsky, very few people stop by my diary too , at first I thought it was cos I was new and hadn't built up much rapport with anyone, then I thought cos my journal just sucked haha, and then I decided it's as you said, there are just so many journals on here it's hard to post on other people's let alone have time for your own sometimes!!

It's so nice to see your boyfriend being supportive, that makes such a difference. I am feeling pretty much zero support from people in my life right now, but I guess we're all on our own little paths and got to just get on with it.

Take care and keep up the good work !

Hiya Sophia!
Nice that you stopped in. You are right about the diaries. At some point my old diary was so buzzing, I kind of gave up on the whole thing, because it was so hard to keep up with everyone. Therefore I am happy I lost my password and now had to start a new diary. lol and make new friends...

Headphones do work wonders. I am trying to become a little better at going out by myself. I have yet to leave with out Derek with me. After this summer's onslaught of remarks and yelling and gestures, it is very hard to go out. I am very sensitive now. I was feeling really hot and sexy. I mean down 50 pounds, all these peeps, guys watched me walk and one day I came out with this old pair of jeans I could finally fit in and my spring jacket and I was getting cat calls from them all. lol I was also shaking my buttocks while walking lol

in fact thats how Derek and I hit it on. I was always flirting with him. lol he loved my body from the start and thats saying a lot, but he still loves my body and I am finally taking off pounds once again...

so cheers to finally have a loss...
Its too bad you don't have the support you need. I will check into your diary more often. It seems like a lot of peeps write you in your diary. Keep your chin up hun! You will meet your goals, all of them.

always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

hmmm i used to be obsessed with posting like a bajillion posts a day... but now i am relaxing a bit... i make my rounds every couple of days...

lol the weather has been in the 50's here... but i think i have like lost my ability to stand the cold xD i lived in germany for 8 years... and would go out in the snow with a light jacket... but now i can hardly handle going out until at least the 60s... haha i have noooo clue how that happened... its really pretty outside today.

alone time is important. you do need to be your own person... =D

50s! Yowser! I would love to be in the 50s. Its going down to the 30 degree mark tomorrow. and 17 mph winds. But I am going to treck to the library and maybe around. Just put the headphones on, maybe go to the commons and treck in the snow there. All the avid aerobics and walkers, walk even through the snow around the commons. There is this dirt and pebble path, but it is covered in ice and snow, but if you climb over you see trails through the ice and snow where peeps put their trecks into. So maybe I will head over there if I can take the winds. I need to walk. lol

but the 60s would be wonderful, but not until the end of
March or beginning of April will that hit.

ttylater
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Today Today!

Today was full of fun, happiness, depression, a little walk, bad food, bad suger monitor readings, healthy snacks last night, like Strawberries and a surprise three pounds off since last week. Nice end to the night being here, just chilling with my fiance, who is playing tetris right now. He gets up tomorrow at 6am, ugh, which will of course wake me up. He goes to work for the paper tomorrow, so he leaves by seven-thirty am.

I usually end up .. up at nine am...and than sleep in, but I think I will actually get up, do some more cleaning, redo the decorated door. I bought stencils and am getting good at sketching. And I have always been good with poetry and writing, so I am going to bring our door into spring!!

and I am taking my walk to the commons or just to the library, the long way!

hope everyone is doing well!

always
Natsky

 

[sophia28]

Hey Natsky, thanks again for popping by earlier and leaving a nice message. Well done on the 3 pounds loss - brilliant stuff. I just realised your ticker says you're 9 lbs away from your goal -- that's like sooooo close!!
you've come so far and done so well it's amazing

I know what you mean about finding it hard to go out on your own - I'm exactly the same; for me it's torture if I don't have someone with me. I feel so fat & self conscious, I hate going anywhere alone, it's like I need a freakin' chaperone lol.
It's silly really cos I know no one gives a hoot about me but I still feel like I stick out monstrously and that people feel ill when they see me.
All happy healthy thoughts, eh? !! lol -- NOT!

Well, you take good care there and keep up the good work. You're doing FAB!!

 

[AngelicaHope]

lol i hate being passed in cars when im by myself... because i feel like everyone is staring at me... usually they are though... i know i stare at anyone randomly on the side of the road... xD

im ready to be a success story. *_*

 

[Natsky]

Hey Natsky, thanks again for popping by earlier and leaving a nice message. Well done on the 3 pounds loss - brilliant stuff. I just realised your ticker says you're 9 lbs away from your goal -- that's like sooooo close!!
you've come so far and done so well it's amazing

I know what you mean about finding it hard to go out on your own - I'm exactly the same; for me it's torture if I don't have someone with me. I feel so fat & self conscious, I hate going anywhere alone, it's like I need a freakin' chaperone lol.
It's silly really cos I know no one gives a hoot about me but I still feel like I stick out monstrously and that people feel ill when they see me.
All happy healthy thoughts, eh? !! lol -- NOT!

Well, you take good care there and keep up the good work. You're doing FAB!!

Actually Sophia,
peeps, except for kids, think otherwise about us when we walk. They think how good we are for taking care of the weight. Anna, a woman on here, always tells her son ..something wonderful about peeps walking and she thinks they are pretty beautiful doing it.

I am going on a walk on Satuday alone. Want to make myself proud. The winds will be harsh. I am leaving after I talk with Derek in the morning, after he gets to work and they are done with the first part of the paper. But hun if I can get the courage to go out, so can you. I know you are full of tons of strength. Just believe in yourself. I know its hard, I have the same prob of putting myself down, but I trully believe we can do this!!



ttylater hun
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

lol i hate being passed in cars when im by myself... because i feel like everyone is staring at me... usually they are though... i know i stare at anyone randomly on the side of the road... xD

im ready to be a success story. *_*

Angelica, you will be a success story. I can tell. I very much think you will make it. As I think all my friends on here will!

keep trecking hun!

and they may look, but they stare because they see you walking for your health. Sometimes peeps in cars are good. I love when they yell " you go girl!"
I had someone do that to me in the other city I lived in!

ttylater hun
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

Hey everyone,
Well I actually have 110 pounds to lose. I have lost forty, and it was at fifty, but I became depressed and emotionally drawn and isolated myself. and became a hermit. Which I am trying to change.

Tomorrow its going to be 48 degrees out and windy, but it will only make it feel like in the lower forties. Its will be a beautiful day. I plan to walk with my water in hand and at a fast pace. We are going up the only hilly area and man is it a hill. I will do up to the hospital and around, but eventually I plan to conquer high view hill. Which is immense. I almost passed out in summer, in May, going up that hill. Its even a killer on the cars lol. So I will take it slow going up. I probably wont be doing that much for another month, next month. This end of the month and next week I will just being walking up the hill to the hospital.

Go Me!

I want to take on the world and just look them all in the face and just .. I dont know ...but I plan to lose huge amounts of weight. I will do this...

ttylater
always
Natsky

 

[Natsky]

NOT a diabetic anymore!!

Hello everyone,

I am NOT... a diabetic anymore!!

I have not been taking my Metformin, a pill to cut down my suger for six days and my suger is actually getting better. I think the metformin was making my suger out of control. It would be high and than be too low. But I have changed the way I eat finally and One night I didnt eat until after nine hours of sleep and didn't think anything of it, but was so proud of myself. Although last night I didn't eat my bed time snack that fills me up, so that I don't eat at night. I am insomniac and one of the things I would do about stress over everything in my life would be eat. I am addictted to food, but I can tell you the food is not necessarily controlling me anymore. I am controlling my eating, which is something that has never happened.

I did eat toooo little the day of the night I ate at night. Last night I ate a bowl of cereal. Just plain whole wheat cheerios. No suger. But still, I shouldnt have eaten, so I should have eaten a good breakfast yesterday. Today I ate two pieces of fruit toast, very good, with smart balance butter. Had a sandwhich today with heavy mustard, three slices of thin meat and two different pieces of cheese, thinly sliced. I tried just having two slices of meat and one slice of cheese, but I still ate that night. So I am hoping bringing a little more into my meals will make me less likely to eat at night. Its worked before. I also eat four pieces of chocolate at night before bed and I was able to fast till eight am. Now I need to try to do it for ten hours. And so on, until I can fast for twelve hours, because I need to do blood work.

MY blood pressure is awesome! It was down to 118/ something last night at the docs on Friday of last week. Sweet!! I walked thirty hard minutes all the way up this huge hill in Dover to get to my doctor. I was hurting, thats when I realized just how bad it was, my health. And my pulse was 96 beats per minutes, when I was 320 pounds it was 115! So thats good. I can get the lowest after a good and steady walk up hills, to 60 or 65. I am going to go up the high view hill. Its a mammoth hill. The cars engines have difficulty going up it. I think I will only be able to do some of it. but every week I am going to increase the height of the walk. until I have gone all the way up to first incline and so on. By the end of summer I will be walking all the way up so many hills to get to the top of this one hill... and I will be in such good shape. Its actually harder to walk outside, than on a treadmill. Ive done the treadmill and the walking outside. When you are outside, you are on terrain that is constantly changing, so I am happy. Ive noticed I get better exercise going up the hill that leads to the street, than going up and down the first floor to the third floor... the stairs are a cake walk compared to walking up the hill.

So I dont mind not having a gym membership, but the one thing I might look into is Curves. Because it is located right down the street. Most women dont lose pounds, but they lose tons of inches, which is all good for me. I will look like a babe by the time I am done. So we are going down Tuesday and I am going to ask them how much the fee is and the join up fee is and annual fee, ect. And I am going to join for the days that I think I need that extra kick in the butt. There is even a bus that goes down there, but its only fifteen minutes away from me walking! Finally something close by. And I will have chat sessions with the women, actually make a social kind of atmosphere. Ive heard Curves is good for that, no judgement of each others bodies, different shapes of women go into the building and one common goal. To become healthier. So I am happy. and than there is the pool, which is about ten minutes away, so Derek and I will be playing and doing laps in the water, its free!!!!!!!

so psyched. So I guess my new home does have exercise advantages. Goodddyyy!!

Well ttylater all
always
Natsky

btw, I am losing weight!!