nataliejo's diary: Moving, flowing, grooving forward... change is coming...

[nataliejo]

Nice losses so far! Keep it up!

Thank you Ankebuzz!
I definitely need the encouragement. I have now been referring to myself as fat ...etc. Which usually isn't a good way to talk about oneself. But that is what I have been reduced to. I have been teased on the streets in this new town I am in, and it is awful walking down the street thinking what they must think of me, when other people are yelling cruel things to me, like about my butt, saying I have a huge a** and going on about it ...
Thanks hun for all your help getting me back on track, your enthusiasm helps

your friend
natalie jo
always

 

[nataliejo]

Oh nataliejo. I'm sorry to hear about all the crap that's been going on in your life. I hope things get better for you soon!

On the other hand, the losses are a great AMAZING way to keep yourself motivated. Just don't get too caught up in the number, you know how depressing that can get.

I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LIFE, for you and your beau.

If you ever need to talk-- I'm all ears missy!


<3 Annie

Thanks Annie,
Things seem to be going great between Derek and I. He is at work right now. But I actually got out and walked on my own today, which was a different type of thing I don't normally do anymore, but I did it and I feel great ...

Thanks for your offerring of ears...
always appreciated
your friend
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Not Menopause, but emo crap is from pms and sick...

So I have been sick with this horrid head cold for the past couple months finds out, thats how mine start. First it starts with headaches, but these were massive. Its taking a while for this thing to go away. I have been in so much pain. So ibuprofen has become sadly a friend of mine. I just dont like taking meds for headaches, but these have been migraines. And its been horrible, crippling headaches. Its been so hard to motivate myself to go outside, especially during the morning hours, because of the bright sun. Its so nice and cool in the morning when I walk, but with these temps going up and down, my head is a mess. And btw .. no menopause... just my sticking period ... I guess I am back to what I was when I was 16, "One hormonal chick"

I have bipolar and borderline... mood disorders and mental disorders, but anyhow.. its being aggrivatted by my ten year late arrival, my period. Yes folks I have been on the rag and the affects have lasted all month. I missed it last month and now its back because I lost weight and its brought a torrent of pain lol as per usual in any womans body and mind. But unfortuanately I have mood and mental disorders which don't help and it has totally thrown me off whack. I have felt sane the last four days during the period. But come next week, I will be back to grumpy old self, crying, impatient, tired... I don't know what happening to me folks... ugh

I see the doctor next week for answers on the menopause question. I wonder if it is finally starting. I know its starts reeeally early in my family, earlier every generation.

well no losses this week, only a one pound gain. Stayed away from most bad stuff, but the fruit is even killing me. I have been overdueing the fruit, even when I am not hungry. I need to get some control.. I am emotionally eating .. ugh

ttylater all
love yas
your friend
always
natalie jo
I promise more happy news later
This kind of concerns weight loss. Over the past three months I have become VERY attached to Derek. And he thinks I am too clingy. One of the reasons I am, is because I have never walked around in this area by myself. I am getting used to my surroundings and its takes me a while to adapt. U know. Change is hard. Ive had to move on from a hard four year relationship into a three month relationship where he is wonderful. I dont want to suffocate him, which I think I am doing. I don't know what to do. I finally walked for a fifteen minute walk, taking his keys, and walking by myself. Maybe from now on I should walk by myself. What do you all think? good move, nice step?
I am ready to walk by myself... it will be over the same areas and I will be getting lost, finding my way and figuring out the nature of Rochester, but up to this point, I have only been chilling in my hometown and the people here are mean. They are no censored with what they say about bigger women.. including me ...

I dont know

love you all
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

The plan of attack for the fall!

Ok so September is right around the corner everyone. AND I am back for good. I have taken stock of what has gone wrong for the past few months, gaining 17 pounds back, ect.

This is the truth. I stopped taking my second metformin, which is for Diabetics of the 2 variation. I am that of course. My eyes have gotten a little better since noticing my changes in diet, since I met Derek lmao I have let loose and its not good.

So
Drinks:
Water with ice, all the time
Tea, Caffiene free, Green Tea mixed with Awake black tea with sweet n low
Two times a week, four oz of juice with four oz of water, good stuff. The juice is so good, but I shouldnt be drinking it.

Smoothies once a week, made of fruit and milk and crushed ice. Just a little treat.

No eating at night, I will fight the hunger pains and get through this. By next month I want to weigh 270.9 with out taking the second metformin. It can be used as a diet pill, increased your metabolism. I am going to increase it by jogging, starting tomorrow. Did a good pace today, but tomorrow, going to step it up and for a longer period of time, walking and jogging, with small breaks for drinking water. Going to the commons and around the commons once and job the back way to Derek's house.

So that the plan folks. And as far as food, no munching, bad me!! and stay on three meals a day, with a fruit snack if needed, but I dont think I will need it. Hopefully I can do this and I believe I can!!

thank you all for your support...

love you all
always
your friend
natalie jo

 

[ABBAgirl]

Hi NJ! ((Hugs)) to you, my friend. Sorry you are dealing with so much these days, dear.

Do tell me why you've reduced your Metformin. When you are in talking with a doc about migraines and your menopause suspicions, bring up the Metformin, too.

Keep up with your walking and try not to let comments from ignorant people get you down! There really are more kind people in this world than rude ones, but it just hurts so much when the turkeys get us down. You have lost your weight before, and you will surely do it again if you set your mind to it!

Blessings
ABBAgirl

 

[nataliejo]

Hi NJ! ((Hugs)) to you, my friend. Sorry you are dealing with so much these days, dear.

Do tell me why you've reduced your Metformin. When you are in talking with a doc about migraines and your menopause suspicions, bring up the Metformin, too.

Keep up with your walking and try not to let comments from ignorant people get you down! There really are more kind people in this world than rude ones, but it just hurts so much when the turkeys get us down. You have lost your weight before, and you will surely do it again if you set your mind to it!

Blessings
ABBAgirl

Hiya ABBA or Janice,
The reason I have reduced my metformin is because I believe I can lose the weight with out the med. I don't believe I can lose weight with out the first dosage, but I believe I don't need such a high dosage, as long as I try to keep the diet in the right area and try to exercise even just a little everyday. U know...

but I did drink a adult milk shake today and now my stomach hurts, teaches me not to eat chocolate again. I can't believe I had it, knowing it would bother my stomach, but you live and you learn and once again I know chocolate is not good for me ...

but thanks hun for dropping in, its nice to see you!!

love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Well the head cold has decided not to leave me just yet, I have a Mammoth migraine right now and soon will lye down to try and ease it. They are these crippling headaches, but today I plan to walk through the streets and take off in a little wooded area with Derek. I think I shall actually leave now. I have taken Ibuprofen...should be good to go soon as it kicks in ..

and I drank a milkshake today. I was dumb, thats partly why I have the migraine, the chocolate hurts my stomach and is giving me this horrid migraine ..

well I will check in later and tell you how my walk went ..

love yas
always
natalie jo

 

[Lilyofthevalley]

Yes folks I have been on the rag and the affects have lasted all month. I missed it last month and now its back because I lost weight and its brought a torrent of pain lol as per usual in any womans body and mind. But unfortuanately I have mood and mental disorders which don't help and it has totally thrown me off whack. I have felt sane the last four days during the period. But come next week, I will be back to grumpy old self, crying, impatient, tired... I don't know what happening to me folks... ugh

I'm afraid that even though I have mood and mental disorders as well, I can't say I know what you're talking about. My medicine stopped my period until very recently, around 2 months ago it finally went regular. I guess I've been on the right medicine and have learned to be a bit more balanced, which is definitely a blessing. I hope this whole thing sorts itself out for you, love.

Hiya ABBA or Janice,
The reason I have reduced my metformin is because I believe I can lose the weight with out the med. I don't believe I can lose weight with out the first dosage, but I believe I don't need such a high dosage, as long as I try to keep the diet in the right area and try to exercise even just a little everyday. U know...

but I did drink a adult milk shake today and now my stomach hurts, teaches me not to eat chocolate again. I can't believe I had it, knowing it would bother my stomach, but you live and you learn and once again I know chocolate is not good for me ...

The first thing I would recommend is that you really shouldn't mess with your medicine without consulting a doctor. It always blows up in your face if you go against doctor's orders. Even a phone call is better than nothing!

Annnndddd.... perhaps you shouldn't hold the milkshake against chocolate unless you have tried and tried regular chocolate (or if you either don't like it or dont WANT to like it... ) <<uhhh.. what?>>

Because I know the PMS seems to scream out for chocolate...

Okies, I'm going to go watch tv.

<3 Annie

 

[nataliejo]

I'm afraid that even though I have mood and mental disorders as well, I can't say I know what you're talking about. My medicine stopped my period until very recently, around 2 months ago it finally went regular. I guess I've been on the right medicine and have learned to be a bit more balanced, which is definitely a blessing. I hope this whole thing sorts itself out for you, love.



The first thing I would recommend is that you really shouldn't mess with your medicine without consulting a doctor. It always blows up in your face if you go against doctor's orders. Even a phone call is better than nothing!

Annnndddd.... perhaps you shouldn't hold the milkshake against chocolate unless you have tried and tried regular chocolate (or if you either don't like it or dont WANT to like it... )

Because I know the PMS seems to scream out for chocolate...

Okies, I'm going to go watch tv.

<3 Annie

Hiya Annie,
The medicine I am taking is called Metformin and its for diabetics suffering from 2 ... and its for metabolic syndrome, where my metabolism works very slowly. Well the med helps the metabolism work correctly, I just wish there was another way to lose weight, other than taking a drug to increase my metabolism. BUT I cant seem to lose weight with out it. Its crazy, but I am going to try. I plan to consult my doctor soon, just want to see if I can lose weight with out the second metformin.

I just hope this works ((crosses fingers))

thanks hun for your advice ...

always
your friend
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Hello everyone,
I seem to be getting over-emotional once again. I was crying last night. My bf says I am too clingy and he says he wishes he could take back what he said, but its been said. U know. But I guess he doesnt like when
I ask him to pay attention to me, usually its because my hormones are out of whack and having a hard time dealing with it and when I get a hug from him, it just seems a little nice to have someone by my side.

I suffer from borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, severe anxiety, among other things, and I have DIDisorder... where I kind of blank out and am more likely to cause harm to myself than to anyone else. I dont know. I have lived with this my whole life and I am trying to get a heads up. This is why I have been eating so much, been every so madly depressed. Its crazy.

but I am going to try and give the bf some space, even though he says he doesnt want it, but maybe he does. I dont know. Ladies, any word of advice would be welcome...

anyway ...

I am reading this fantasy book, about the pendragon family. Evvain, the young girl that was Arthurs sister and Morgan's sister. Well her six hundreth female descendent is supposed to become queen. She is princess now to the Wild Isle, but they want control of the court. So anyway its way past Arthur and what not, now its six hundred years later is 1311 AD ... anyway...so it tells about how she has one claw, because her mother was so desperate to have a female descendent, after Merlin's prohphecy, that she drinks a huge eggs yolk...this egg was a dragon's egg...so anyway I think the girl is going to see her other mother, the dragon. The dragon already captured her once and was hurt by the claw, but than she kissed the girls claw and put her down ...very interesting book, odd one at that, but well worth the read...

well ttylater everyone
and after this ... I am going on a thirty minute walk with Derek ... its 76 degrees out now ...but after this its supposed to go up to 81-84 and than six pm...81 again ..so now cool shots at night ...wont be back in the seventies until eight pm ... oh well

so now is the best time to go ...

ttylater lovies
love always
your friend
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Dreaming of food, biting my mouth gaurd!!

So I have been dreaming of food and biting my mouth gaurd. I have been actually chewing on my mouth gaurd and guess what?

I didn't eat last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually didn't eat. I would wake up to the mouth gaurd, and be like, wow this is really working and go back to sleep. I got such a lovely nights sleep, so sweet!!!



Anyway, so today we are walking to Health and Human services, because my bf has to talk with them, which is a good walk and than we are going to continue walking down to Hannafords, which is a task unto itself. So all is well. I am so happy I didn't eat last night. And I decided I would not eat until after seven am and that I would take a shower first, so I was up for the day. This is how I lost the first fifty pounds. Now its time to lose the next fifty pounds. AND I AM on my way!!!!!!!

love you all
always
your friend
natalie jo

 

[Ankebuzz]

Hey Natalie!

Great, so glad to hear you have a plan of action again. I think exercising on your own sometimes is a good step for the "clinginess" thing. I've also been accused of this before, and I find that once you start focussing on yourself more, things sort themselves out. So maybe this is all you needed, a new YOU plan!!!



Bye bye now!

 

[jw372]

I totally agree with Ankebuzz--once you're really focusing on yourself and what you want to be doing right now, clingy will be the last word to describe you! Congratulations on not eating at night!

Sophie

 

[Lilyofthevalley]

Yay to you for working it out and getting a plan of action! I KNOW you'll lose as much weight as you want!

And as for the walking/exercising alone, I agree with Anke and Sophie! Once you start exercising independently, you'll kick that "clingy" crap right in the butt!

Oh, and congrats on not eating at night! My big idea for my bedroom was to have a loft bed, and that keeps me from getting up at night (because if I wanted food, I'd have to climb down from my bed, go down the hall, go down the stairs in the dark, stumble in to the kitchen, find my way to the fridge and actually have to find something in my mess of a fridge... definitely not worth getting up! )... although it does make going to the bathroom a whole other ordeal... .

Way to go, girl!



<3 Annie

 

[sunnydee]

Hey hun. I didn't realize you had lost so much weight. I guess I've been bad at keeping tabs on you. haha Congrats!

 

[nataliejo]

Hey Natalie!

Great, so glad to hear you have a plan of action again. I think exercising on your own sometimes is a good step for the "clinginess" thing. I've also been accused of this before, and I find that once you start focussing on yourself more, things sort themselves out. So maybe this is all you needed, a new YOU plan!!!



Bye bye now!

Hiya Ankebuzz,
Thanks for your words. I know, I needed a new "me" plan, focus on myself. It sucked being told I was too clingy lol but such is life. It is true, I am a little too clingy.

but anyway I am getting married September 20th, 2009
I am very excited and want to lose another thirty pounds. I think its doable...

love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo

 

[maleficent]

wow you're getting married? congratulations... that's exciting.

30lbs in a year is absolutely do-able...

 

[sunnydee]

I didn't realize you were getting married either. Congratulations! You can absolutely reach your goal of another 30 lbs by then. We'll all be here to keep encouraging you on.

 

[misty22]

Hey you,

You're getting married next year? No way! Congrats! How did that happen?

I agree with the others, 30 lbs in a year is very do-able.

 

[Lilyofthevalley]

Wow! Congrats on the engagement! 30 pounds in a year should be absolutely do-able. I've lost that much and it's been, what, 4 or 5 months? If I can do it with my horrible self control and lack of enthusiasm for exercise, you can most certainly will be able to!


Yay Natalie!

<3Annie