nataliejo's diary: Moving, flowing, grooving forward... change is coming...

[a-n-g-e-l]

hey good job! looks like you are really having a good time! keep it up!

have a good weekend. don't worry too much about the work...it is always there!

;-)

x

 

[nataliejo]

Hey hun,

I am soo proud of you- you have committed to thinking positive and making this weight loss journey work for you. Read about the Alex bit you wrote about earlier- oh Nat, I'm sure you can do so much better than him. Honestly, use the break-up as a positive force. It's a start towards a new life- that's how I think.

Fifty minutes worth of a walk sounds great!! Yes- drink lots and lots of water, in fact, I don't think I drink enough water either. Maybe you'll inspire me to guzzle down 8 glasses a day? lol.

I wish you the best of luck on your quiz, I know you'll do well

Love,
Misty
xoxo

Hey Misty!!!

I am happy you visited, thanks!
I have been drinking the water. The tap sucks, so I am drinking Poland Spring lol
love yas
ttylater
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

hey good job! looks like you are really having a good time! keep it up!

have a good weekend. don't worry too much about the work...it is always there!

;-)

x

Hey a-n-g-e-l!!!
I don't have to worry, but I must do my work on time in order to not worry about it! lmao

ttylater hun
glad you stopped in ..
I think I need people to stop in .. its one of the way I keep going!!
ttylater hun
Will visit you now and Misty too!
love yas
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Hey Everyone, good days so far!!! I walked Thirty five minutes today!!!
I did it!!... You should have seen me!!! ..walking!!... looking at the sun... smiling with my little pretty face ...happy go lucky, but worried what people thought sometimes... but one of the Beatles songs were stuck in my head and it was the one that caused me to walk ..

"Boy your gonna carry that weight, carry that weight, carry that weight a long time" and than it has inspirational parts of it...and I was just like ..

I'm not going to carry this weight a long time! not me!! and Just celebrated with a walk!!
It felt so good ..the music is wonderful .. I am listening to the song now and just taking it in ..
its all good ..
"One sweet dream, pick up the bags, get into the limousine!"
"One sweet dream, came true, today, came true, today... ohhh yes it did!"

or maybe I mixed songs... hey... who cares .. I equated it ..and got a good walk in ..my upper abdomen hurt.. I made sure I worked it ..

I weigh 288.6 today ..its all good!!!

I am so happy!!

ttylater
love yas
Natalie jo

 

[Happychubette]

Wow, good goin girl. Glad to see you're on top of things and lost ten pounds already. You're halfway to your goal. That's a smart way to do it. Isn't it great to feel great? I think I told you I'm bipolar too. I am able to wake up earlier because my shrink reduced one of my meds and I am LOVING having my mornings back. Its great to be AWAKE this early in the day.

Keep up the great work. Enjoy your dainty portions and your SELF!!!.

 

[nataliejo]

Wow, good goin girl. Glad to see you're on top of things and lost ten pounds already. You're halfway to your goal. That's a smart way to do it. Isn't it great to feel great? I think I told you I'm bipolar too. I am able to wake up earlier because my shrink reduced one of my meds and I am LOVING having my mornings back. Its great to be AWAKE this early in the day.

Keep up the great work. Enjoy your dainty portions and your SELF!!!.

Hello Kelly! Glad to see you are doing better. ALWAYS nice to hear ... I am happy you are able to wake up early in the morning... Kind of an important thing to me too. I hate when I take my klonopin late and end up sleeping in ..sucks ...because than you miss part of the day!

well thanks for the congrat on the ten pounds, Ive lost another two pounds, but there is no way I am moving that ticker until weigh in day, which is on the 24th I believe..

so ttylater hun
love yas
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Hey Everyone, So like ... I ATE ALOT TODAY! REALLY A LOT! I WAS SO LONELY THAT I ACTUALLY CRIED. I AM WORKING ON MY HOMEWORK, WHICH I DO HAVE A LOT, BUT SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO TALK WITH PEOPLE AND I AM GETTING UTTERLY BOGGED DOWN WITH LONLINESS.. I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO DO, EXCEPT KEEP WORKING ON MY PROJECTS AND HOMEWORK TO FILL MY TIME... BUT I STARTED PROCRASTINATING TODAY TOO AND I ENDED UP EATING SO MUCH, I PROBABLY BLEW ALL THE WEIGHT I HAD LOST AWAY, HOPEFULLY THE NEXT WEIGH IN WILL STILL SHOW A LOSS...

TTYLATER EVERYONE
LOVE YAS
NATALIE JO

 

[ABBAgirl]

Hi NJ
Sorry you are feeling lonely, sweetie. I can sympathize, to a point. I think I had fantasies of the ridiculous kind that moving back "home" would allow me to resume my old friendships. Or at least, some of them. WRONG-O! It is painful, more painful than being surrounded by strangers because I know people here! They are just too busy, or have their own reasons for not wanting to reconnect with me.

So, loneliness does suck, that's for dang sure! However, loneliness is also generally limited to a season in life, I believe. Do what you can to meet people Join a club, go to church, whatever. It's hard, I know!

I wish we lived close enough to go out for something yummy...that we could share, to minimize the damage!

Anyways, here is a big for you. Feel better!
ABBA

 

[nataliejo]

Thanks Janice!!

Hi NJ
Sorry you are feeling lonely, sweetie. I can sympathize, to a point. I think I had fantasies of the ridiculous kind that moving back "home" would allow me to resume my old friendships. Or at least, some of them. WRONG-O! It is painful, more painful than being surrounded by strangers because I know people here! They are just too busy, or have their own reasons for not wanting to reconnect with me.

So, loneliness does suck, that's for dang sure! However, loneliness is also generally limited to a season in life, I believe. Do what you can to meet people Join a club, go to church, whatever. It's hard, I know!

I wish we lived close enough to go out for something yummy...that we could share, to minimize the damage!

Anyways, here is a big for you. Feel better!
ABBA

Thanks Janice! This sucks.. I have two guys I reeeeallly like at Starbucks... on is kind of ...shy ..the other one ..is jumpy ...the one who is jumpy was showing off to me the other day ..the one who is shy hasn't been in .. neither have been in ... I am going to go with my mom more often and see if I can spot these guys and make my moves ...and I am going to dress oh so cute.. I am going with my mom tomorrow ..she gets out at six .. I would rather be with her and doing my homework ...and take a twenty five to thirty minute walk around kittery maine than be here... I have you all ...but no one else .. I am so frighteningly lonely and I can't go for a walk outside, because like our neighborhood is turning into the hood up the streets aways ... I can't even walk out at night and I want to because I hate sitting at home ..but there are sexual predators on the two streets connected to mine ... oy vey ...and I did call the ex today.... I hate when I do that ...

later
love yas
natalie jo ...
thanks hun so much ..

 

[Camy]

Hey natjo!
How about some of those work out fitness videos? I personally have one, which to be honest is not that great, but if I just cannot go out because of something but feel like doing something (which hasn't happened yet ), I just turn it on, and I have something to do, even if it is light exercise (mine is a pilates ball and band workout) it's better than crying! Whenever I feel sad, I just get up and do something... and I had a bit of a depression in the last 2 to 3 years (the disease in my intestines does that to me, I know now... but then I thought I was just silly). So if you can't go out, how about that? there are about a million different ones!

Well good luck with your homework, I am also doing an essay (I am in grad school) and this isn't going anywhere!
Love, Camy

 

[nataliejo]

Hey natjo!
How about some of those work out fitness videos? I personally have one, which to be honest is not that great, but if I just cannot go out because of something but feel like doing something (which hasn't happened yet ), I just turn it on, and I have something to do, even if it is light exercise (mine is a pilates ball and band workout) it's better than crying! Whenever I feel sad, I just get up and do something... and I had a bit of a depression in the last 2 to 3 years (the disease in my intestines does that to me, I know now... but then I thought I was just silly). So if you can't go out, how about that? there are about a million different ones!

Well good luck with your homework, I am also doing an essay (I am in grad school) and this isn't going anywhere!
Love, Camy

Thats true. Hiya Camy!! I could do something inside the house!!That would be an excellent idea!!
I shall do that. I was jumping around a little to the Beatles Abbey Road yesterday! good idea... ttylater
always
nataliejo

 

[a-n-g-e-l]

Hey NJ

thort i'd pop in and check up on you? hows studying and stuff?

;-)

x

 

[nataliejo]

Hey NJ

thort i'd pop in and check up on you? hows studying and stuff?

;-)

x

Hello a-n-g-e-l!! I am doing pretty good. Had a horrible nights sleep, will have to make up for no exersize by dancing to the Beatles and do some aerobics. But I am battling with picking out which culture I want to do my short paper on. I don't know what kind of culture to do it on. I would love to do it on the Egyptian late culture. The Agrarian one. Because I have done it before, and always find it so fascinating, but I can't seem to make up my mind... I think I will do it on the Pharoah ..

well ttylater
love yas
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

I found someone!!!!I found someone on Plentyoffish.com. He is overweight, quite overweight, but HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am totally psyched .. if you guys want to check him out ..go to plentyoffish.com and put in chess5001.... Margaret you were so right!
ttylater love yas
natalie jo **hugs**

 

[nataliejo]

So I weighed in at 286.0, but the consumption I took in ..the amount I ate, just ruined that figure or my figure at all for that matter, but tomorrow is a new day and a new start once again ... no binging aloud! lol

well ttylater folks
love yas
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Hello everyone,
Well today has been a tuff day. Tears and all. I binged today, I cried today, by accident while I was cutting a carrot and crying.. I cut myself...
so I talked with my mom tonight and she thinks I need to start volunteering at the library, instead of being home all the time and online. School can't be all I do in my life. I must do things to work toward my new job I will have in three years. So I am going to start next week or Saturday. I am going to start volunteering at the library. There is this new guy that I am talking with, but he wants a girl with a car, so It won't work, but its a nice thought, but I must be realistic. Most men don't want someone like me, because I am on ssdi and am not working. I get a govt check, but I want to be just like everyone else, so I go to school to earn a degree so I can even just work in a bookstore. I want to work at Barnes n Noble or at a Borders. I don't know if I am going to finish my degree. I don't think ... well I don't know if I have it in me, but I have this huge chance, one last chance to get my English lit degree... and I have wanted this for a long time, I have been struggling through school for the past three years. I so want it, but I can't touch it. I don't have any friends, because my life is at a stand still and I don't know what to do ... but I have you all, but I need people in real life, people at the library. I am going to go for a long walk tomorrow to think about things ...for an hour or two and than I am going to read through The Odyssey and also watch Forrest Gump and write about the segment that I am doing my presentation on. I have to work in sociology into the movie...

so wish me the best
love you all
natalie jo
**hugs**

 

[nataliejo]

Hey everyone! Since your my friends, I decided to tell you first. I am going to continue with school. I think my education is very valuable, I just think it is hard for me, because I take ten classes a year and eight week terms. So its all crushed in together. Its just that its 22,000 thousand dollars cheaper if I do it at night, than during the day, plus I prefer being around people my own age, adults, than 18 year olds. I just feel so old when I get into classes with younger people, u know. I feel uncomfortable. But anyway, I also am not going to make much out of any relationship. I feel I need to really work on myself. My mom is going to take me hiking with her this week and every week and she says we are going to get good pictures of me to post She watched me last night crying and everything and she was distraught and she understands I have only been online and working on school work ..and some walking ...but mainly I have been doing a lot of school work, because its such an accelerated program. She decided that I would be able to go hiking with my step dad and her, which is something that just doesn't happen. Which is really good, because it would make me lose weight faster, because I would be climbing mountains and walking fire roads ...
well things are looking brighter.. I know you are all my friends, and all the friends I have, other than DBSA and I am happy I have you all as friends. You all mean so much to me. I just love coming on here and reading your stories, your days and you give me such inspiration ... and I thank you ..and I will continue to come on here, because I value your friendships ...

Anyway, since I am up so early I am going to get to some of your diaries ..

ttylater lovies
love yas
always
your friend
natalie jo **hugs**

 

[Camy]

Hey nat,
I think it is great that your om will go hiking with yo, don't be sad if it doesn't work in the beginning or if you feel to tired, I hiked in the Andes (thanx to my man) and I thought I was going to die. BUt I didn't and it was a great experience in the end!

And I am absolutely seconding your mom on that you need to go out and have friends, or even acquaintances you can talk too. If you are all alone you will just feel sad. And I think you are doing the right thing by concentrating on yourself for now. Just get your own life in order before you make it all complicated with men...
My story, I met my man when we were almost 19, we were best friends and the started going out, but because we are/were so young there is like a million issues. He wasn't really sure of where he wanted to go in life, I have been struggling with finding my careerpath, and even though we love each other a lot we have broken up like twoce a year every year we have been together (4 years). And that just leads to more depression and crying and whatnot, just to come back to each other and there we go again...
Sharing your "pain" (insecurities etc...) halves them for you but also doubles them in a way. Now I am worried about me, and about him...
Sometimes I wish I didn't meet him so early in life, once he had figured out his life and I had figured out mine and then we would not be so co-dependent, I could now (I finish grad school in September) chose what I want to do, not what is convenient for US... and he could do the same.

I hope you find yourself and finish your education, those who work hard, will be rewarded a lot!
Hugs, Camy

 

[nataliejo]

Hey nat,
I think it is great that your om will go hiking with yo, don't be sad if it doesn't work in the beginning or if you feel to tired, I hiked in the Andes (thanx to my man) and I thought I was going to die. BUt I didn't and it was a great experience in the end!

And I am absolutely seconding your mom on that you need to go out and have friends, or even acquaintances you can talk too. If you are all alone you will just feel sad. And I think you are doing the right thing by concentrating on yourself for now. Just get your own life in order before you make it all complicated with men...
My story, I met my man when we were almost 19, we were best friends and the started going out, but because we are/were so young there is like a million issues. He wasn't really sure of where he wanted to go in life, I have been struggling with finding my careerpath, and even though we love each other a lot we have broken up like twoce a year every year we have been together (4 years). And that just leads to more depression and crying and whatnot, just to come back to each other and there we go again...
Sharing your "pain" (insecurities etc...) halves them for you but also doubles them in a way. Now I am worried about me, and about him...
Sometimes I wish I didn't meet him so early in life, once he had figured out his life and I had figured out mine and then we would not be so co-dependent, I could now (I finish grad school in September) chose what I want to do, not what is convenient for US... and he could do the same.

I hope you find yourself and finish your education, those who work hard, will be rewarded a lot!
Hugs, Camy

Hey Camy!!
Your right! I think I do need to finish school, etc and focus on whats important rather than men. It seems like all men want is a thin woman, or half way decently thin woman. I am far from thin, weighing in at 288.6 or something like that.

so .. Cheers to me and being single, even during VDAY!

thanks
always
natalie jo

 

[nataliejo]

Hey Everyone!!

So I have not heard back from any men, except for this guy from a while back. He asked if I wanted to go on a powder diet with him, and I told him that wouldn't be a good idea for me, but a diet buddy would be wonderful. So he and I are going to be diet buddies. I don't know how we are going to meet up or hang out, seeing as he is always sick and Neither of us has transportation, at least I have another person, that only lives twenty minutes away that I will see during March and onward. I will be able to bike ride to meet him in Rochester and we will be able to do things together.

but I have lost focus on what is most important and that is my schooling. My weight loss is important and I have a long way in front of me. I probably won't lose it in a year, but I think by next October I will be in a size 22, which means I will have gone down two sizes. I will still be a size 24 in May, but I don't mind, I will still weigh less from 275-280..thats my goal after VDAY and will continue to join challenges.. I will be my own victor. I don't need a man for gratification ..just a full life ..

well I plan to start volunteering at the library next Friday .. in the morning hours for probably two hours ..or three ..

ttylater
love yas
natalie jo
and its been an awesome food day!!

ttylater love yas
natalie jo