My Selfish Year, and the journey to skinny

A triple post is the internet's way of apologizing for its previous absence from your house...


Internet to oldschool (in its best Ike Turner voice): I'm sorry baby... I didn't mean to leave you... please take me back...

How's that for an old SNL weekend update reference? anyone anyone?... Bueller?
 
If this was facebook I'd like those last two comments.


I went to bed early last night and I guess in my break from routine I forgot to set my alarm clock. Woke up at 7:30 and hit the ground running. Of course, my son hit the ground as a snail so it balanced us out and I was still late. I remember the days before I had to get him ready for school when I could wake up 15 minutes before I had to be at work and be early. Those were also the days that I'd go to bed drunk as a skunk and wake up feeling like a million bucks so I guess they're gone forever since now a good drunkening gets me a two day hangover.


My assistant made my coffee this morning, and I can tell she used the regular creamer and not the sugar free. Sabateur!!! If I were Anna Wintour I'd fire her in a humiliating way. But I'm not...so I won't. But she is getting a dirty look aimed directly at her back later on, I guarentee it.


I didn't weigh myself this morning. I decided the next time I weigh it will be on the new scale, which should be here any day now...any...day....anyways, straight out of the dryer my size 18 khakis were not tight this morning and that made me happy. Nothing like slipping into a pair of pants that you can actually slip into instead of strangle youself with as you try and hitch them up above your enormous ass. This morning, not even a muffin top in them. I call that a NSV if I ever saw one.
 
AI don't even know you and I'm proud of you. Through all of life's chaos, through the stresses and difficulties, people coming and going, amd dealing with douchebaggery at work, the one and only thing you will have 24/7 is YOURSELF. LOVE YOURSELF DAMNIT! Taking care of yourself and living better for yourself makes it easy as can be. Be proud of yourself for these changes! When I work out and sweat and ache and burn I love myself more for keeping it up and feeling the changes in my body.

Yesterday I passed up a FREE CHOCOLATE CUPCAKE with vanilla icing and rainbow sprinkles. At that moment a war of good vs evil exploded in my head and good prevailed. Sure I wasted a good minute of my life contemplating, but every war has its casualties. Stick with it and keep it up! You'll feel better than you ever have and you will love it!
 
Thank you and you are so right. I spent so much of my time in the last 10 years looking out for everyone else and in my time of need a few months ago I found myself utterly alone (like wynona's character in Beatlejuice). Thats when it hit me. Why was a wasting so much time and energy on others that wouldn't do the same for me, all the while ignoring my own needs. My turn.


And good job resisting a cupcake! and a CHOCOLATE cupcake to boot. That really would test the will. Its like, "oh, its just one cupcake, its not like its a whole cake." and then on the other shoulder, the little angle says "but its still calories and fat you don't need." It's not always easy, these things that people think are easy. Its always complicated by emotion and desire.
 
I ordered off Amazon, its an eating right digital bathroom scale. Very highly recommended based on the stars received and customer reviews.
 
Its afternoon here now and I have not had time to eat yet. Only coffee so far and I fee like jumping out of my skin! On a side note, my dog is sick so I brought her to the office with me to keep an eye on her and I realized that when I pick up the phone and talk it is a trigger for her to lay down and be quiet. Lol! She's been pacing and whining so this was a lucky discovery.
 
Crapppppppy truck, I have a craaaaapppppy truuuuuck! Trying to get my 2wd truck with no brakes to the shop this morning in freezing temps and two feet of powder on top of hot mopped ice. I was parked on the downside of an ice slide. Eventually I made it but it took two men, two trucks, a tow rope, a lot of cussing and a cup of spilled in my lap piping hot coffee. The mechanic said "should be done thursday afternoon at the latest" to which I replied, no rush, April will do. At least I got some exercise in today.


Last night was a wreck. I was a hot mess. My bathtub drain is still frozen, so I had to empty water out of the tub with a pitcher till it was low enough to not overflow when I showered, then I had to do it again to get the kid showered. Then I caught my friends cat using my new leather loveseat as a scrathing post and went ballistic. Didn't cook dinner, we had leftover homemade pizza. Which is also what I have for lunch today. Thankfully its the last piece so I don't have to eat it again. Bleck. Used Pamelas gluten free bread mix to make the dough...sorely dissappointing.


Then I ran into trouble. Nutella trouble. I probably ended up eating three tablespoons worth of it. On a spoon, and then melted in the microwave and drizzled over frozen lite cool whip. DEAR GAWD! What the hell is wrong with me!! I should just throw that crap away, but coming from a very poor upbringing you do not waste perfectly good food. I did the deed and logged the calories and I wasn't over by too many but what a way to ruine a perfectly good 22 day on target winning streak. And I hope that it doesn't show on the scale.
 
Wow, lots of life happening there between the truck, the dog (who I hope is feeling better today) and the remnants of the frozen pipes.


I hear you on the nutella troubles, my daughter loves nutella but hates crusts so I find myself occasionally faced with bread crusts and nutella left on the knife... Usually end up eating some *just to keep good food from going to waste*.


As long as it doesn't throw you way over the limit on calorie intake it's probably not a bad thing. At the end of the day, these journeys have to last a lot longer than our initial months of getting our weight under control so finding a healthy balance that doesn't have us fighting off cravings every day is probably a good thing. (tm) Doing otherwise for me would probably result in a sugar induced rampage....
 
You are so right, this has to be a sustainable lifestyle change and not a "diet." I'm don't want to spend the rest of my life living without nutella *shivers at the thought* so I have to find a way to fit it into a healthy active lifestyle.


And yes, the dog is doing better today. Today is her 14th birthday...in human years...in dog years she is 98 years old. Don't know what I'm going to do without her in my life when she decides to go on to the great doggy pile in the sky so I'm trying to enjoy what is probably her last year with me.
 
Hey.....if....I.....could....only.....reach.....that.....


Dang my fingers just bump into the computer screen
 
never encountered nutella growing up and have to admit at first it looked pretty disgusting... I remember wondering why everyone was putting chocolate on their toast in the morning... and.... then... I... tried it.... :drool5:
 
I like to put a little Nutella and a little peanut butter on a spoon. instant Reese's pop or anaphylatic shock on a stick!
 
grrrr, gained on the ol' scale this morning. New scale still isn't here. Either the nutella is causing massive weight gain (okay, its only a pound...but still MASSIVE, lol) or there was just too much sodium in that steak rub last night and I'm retaining serious water. Probably the rub.


For my dogs birthday (yes, we celebrated, she's freaking 98) we had steaks for dinner, she had her very own NY strip and we had t bones and she had the bones from both. We sang her the Happy Birthday song and ate sitting on the floor with her. Then she went to the bathroom, drank out of the toilet and went outside to roll around in the snow. I ended the day on the high end of my calorie range but still within range. However, I drank a lot of water yesterday and this morning only peed a little bit. I was like...thats it? I have to get on the scale and thats it? whateves...


Those steaks were freaking good though. So worth seeing a spike on the scale. I'd do it again in a hot second.


I've decided I'm going to make an office rule that nobody is allowed to bring garbage food to the office. I'm the boss, I can do that. Yesterday I walked in the breakroom and someone had brought an huge stack of homemade waffles and another huge stack of already butter homemade bread. This morning there is a big bag of fried bread and a plate of homemade banana bread, or something that looks like banana bread. Who fucking eats like that in the morning? Half our staff is diabetic! why the fuck are they eating that shit first thing in the morning and then bringing it to work for other people to eat? It just blows my goddamned mind!


My crappy truck should be done today, so I can drive around in a death trap. Yay! After I pick it up from the shop I need to go get studded tires put on the back and then load about 500 lbs of sand bags into the bed. Then maybe I won't get stuck on ice on a flat surface. Maybe. But, at least I get to listen to music again when I drive, my mom's cars stereo is broken so I have to drive around singing to myself and I'm a really bad vocalist. I can sing maybe three notes and every song I sing, no matter what the tune ends up sounding the same. Unless there is something playing on the stereo to sing along with, then I'm a regular Beyonce.
 
Your dogs dinner was a helluva lot better than mine. If I can drop another 20 or so I think Ill have a birthday party for my dog...don't know when her birthday is but I may have the party anyway.


I don't do well with weighing every day. My body will suck up a pound or two then spit out 2 or 3. Im a twice a week guy on the scale.

I do cheat sometimes when I think Ive done really well.


Also as to your office peoples dietary habits...Thats how they got diabetic, sound just like what I did.


Fight hard today girl! Don't let the crappy people get ya down.
 
Maybe encourage your staff to have a monthly pitch-in instead so people can still bring food in (and you could bring healthy food) and you're not ambushed.
 
Simply telling them to stop is way too polite... Might I present a sign suggestion for the office:


The beatings (with Celery Sticks) will continue until morale improves (and the cookies disappear...)


I'm sure those more creative can come up with better ones.
 
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