My Selfish Year, and the journey to skinny

Allllright. Here we are at the weekend. I am decidedly bad at weekend self control. So far today I've been good string cheese coffee and yogurt. But I've got my guard up. I already refused a lunch date with a friend after soccer games, and I stayed out of the liquor store. But the day is not over yet, and my kid hasn't told me what his plans are for the evening yet. I'll update again after when I've either failed or succeeded, then I'll have something worthwhile to hash out here.
 
I think I'm done eating for the day. 1398 calories...just shy of 1400. I don't round up. I got some exercise in today dragging garbage from my shed to my car and the to the dump. From the shed to the car was in two feet of wet snow covering a smoothe layer of treacherous ice. There were 14 bags, I've not made a trip to the dump in a while. It was a pretty good workout because the path is uphill from the shed.


Tomorrow is weigh in day. Last Sunday I was 255. I hope to be lower. I've been on plan all week eating an average of 1362 calories a day which is an average caloric deficit of 900 calories a day based on the BMR I calculated. The math says that I should lose, so, I'm putting all my faith in math. Math rarely fails me. It's not fickle,but my body is. My body betrays me all the time.


Until tomorrow...
 
Great attitude oldschool, trust the math and the consistency and don't worry too much about the results.


Scales and clothes dryers have also been known to betray us all from time to time.
 
251.5, less 3.5 lbs!

Yay!


Im having a hard time seeing the display on my scale, it's not digital and the tick marks are small. So I ordered a new one online. Hopefully it won't weigh me fatter. I'd be devastated. Or, at the very least irritated.
 
Great work :hurray: getting real close to the 250 mark!


Maybe your new scale will weigh you in even lighter :)


That would be a great marketing pitch for a new brand of electronic scales. Guaranteed to weigh you in at a lower weight every time you step on it.
 
I hope it weighs me lighter, but if it's threelbs lighter and my sister in law is right I'll scream.


Today I engaged in an unselfish act. I know, my bad, won't let it happen again this year. My friend had a baby a few weeks ago and he died soon after birth due to a heart condition. I went over to her house and did her dishes and laundry. She's been super depressed, understandable, and I don't think any of those things had been done since the baby died. There were a lot of dishes and takeout containers to clear out. I think everybody in town baked a casserole and took it to her, so tomorrow after work I'll call everybody on the casserole dish list and have them drop by my car and pick them up. They are all in my car, like, 20 of them.


Aside from doing dishes and laundry for half the day, today is turning out to be pretty high calorie. I haven't even thought about dinner yet and I'm already at almost 800 calories. And I'm pretty sure that I'm playing Russian roulette here by watching Cake Boss. I. Want. Cake.


I should probably get on the treadmill to punish myself just for thinking about cake.
 
Thanks for stopping by my journal! I read through what you have so far and am thoroughly entertained. You had me at "fun bags".


Your whole idea about being selfish is something I am trying out as well. I have been one of the most unselfish people for the past 5 years as the youth program I work for went to hell and back again. I dedicated my life for over 4 years (and almost half of my 20s!) to keeping the program alive and was successful (thank god it wasn't for nothing!). I decided last November that it's my turn. We all deserve happiness and I find it hard to believe that that is possible without being a little selfish once in a while, or more often if it's overdue. I love your reward list and need to think about doing this myself.


Your kiddo sounds like a joy. I meet 5,000 middle school students each year and he sounds so familiar ~ endless appetite, video games, etc. Congrats on being such an amazing single mom!


Looking forward to keeping track of your progress and being inspired by your strength!


Alice
 
I can't even imagine what your friend must be going through these past few weeks. I think we all can 'overlook' your unselfish act this time.


Sounds like your friend has a lot of friends in her life to lend a hand in this difficult time.


Best of luck with the great tupperware return and then remember to get back to your selfish year :p
 
Alice and Feelgooder, thanks for stopping by, as always, I love a comment here and there.


Alice, on paper I'm a single mom, but I don't feel like it most of the time. My parents, particularly my Dad, have pretty much raised my son while I've been working for the last 10 years. These last few weeks have been tough with them out of town and my Dad being sick. But, they should be home this weekend so YAY! Also, since I bought the xbox and signed up for xbox live I don't really see the kid anymore, he's in his room ignoring me and having online relationships with other 10 year old boys and 15 year old girls.


So, speaking of being single, my ex finace decided to contact me late last night via sext. Why do men do this? Think that once they leave you they can always just insinuate themselves on your life when they want you to talk dirty to them? Even after I turned my phone off it was a long sleepless night rehashing all the bad decisions I've made. I don't hate all men, but I hate some of them. And I know "hate" is a strong word, but its more appropriate then describing in detail what I'd like to do to the ones that piss me off. Thank goodness there are good guys out there to redeem the population.


So, I'm so tired this morning, I forgot my coffee cup sitting on the kitchen counter again this morning when I left to come to work. So I'm here, drinking crappy coffee with full fat full sugar creamer. Folgers is just absolutely vile. There is homemade bread on the breakroom table with real butter and jam. Donuts. And a bunch of breakfast sausage biscuits. I'm avoiding. I'm hungry but I have my yogurt so I'm avoiding the room all together (except for the trip in to get coffee). I was extra hungry yesterday and a little over calories at the end of it, so today I have to be ON PLAN. That means having a plan. A plan to stay the hell out of the breakroom.
 
Thank god we don't have a breakroom. Great job resisting! When someone does bring in a baked good I never used to refuse. Last week I refused a cupcake from a kid on his birthday. Talk about Debbie Downer.


Men are ridiculous sometimes. My friend (and new gym buddy as of today, hooray!) went on a date with this guy last night who she drunkenly made out with last weekend at the bar. Always keepin' it classy. So after a week she decided hey why not. It was a disaster according to her. He was crude, made super inappropriate jokes, and at the end asked how many dates is it going to take to "get sex". Vomit. If this is what I have to look forward to I am fine being single. A ton of my friends are into the online dating thing. Ever tried that?
 
I'm not planning on re-entering the dating scene for a while. I'm 32, and I'm in no rush to settle down, or, get laid for that matter. Right now I've got my hands full of work and a kid and a weight loss plan so I don't want to throw any wrenches in my happy selfish life right now...and dating and guys do qualify as wrenches. My real Dad abandoned my Mom and us kids when I was eight and my Mom dated, or tried to, for years and I remember being my son's age and conciously plotting with my siblings to destroy my mom's dates. So, I'll wait till my kid is old enough to not worry about who his potential step father will be.


I have lurked on dating sites in the past, like, when my first marriage fell apart. There was a site for single parents that I had a lot of interesting propositions from, but nothing serious and I live in a very remote part of the world for online dating. Basically, once people find out where I am and now expensive it is to meet me face to face they move on. there are tons of guys here though, so real dating isn't hard...just...not up my alley right now.
 
Hey!


Hope the breakroom resistance is working! My work is like that too, I spent all of December saying no to homemade fruit mince pies and chocolates, so happy that the Christmas period is over! It is very hard to stick to a routine during that time. You sound like you are doing really well so far, keep it up! Getting closer to your first goal!
 
I'm doing okay staying away. I'm in my office, door shut, training webex playing on my computer speakers, working on filing stuff and scanning stuff to my computer so I don't have to keep it in files. The breakroom isn't even going to factor into the rest of my day, thank god, since my coffee drinking is done. Although, right now I'm in countdown to lunch time mode. I"M HUNGRY! And excited to go home and have soup with bubbly melted cheese on top.
 
Originally Posted by Oldschool


I'm doing okay staying away. I'm in my office, door shut, training webex playing on my computer speakers, working on filing stuff and scanning stuff to my computer so I don't have to keep it in files. The breakroom isn't even going to factor into the rest of my day, thank god, since my coffee drinking is done. Although, right now I'm in countdown to lunch time mode. I"M HUNGRY! And excited to go home and have soup with bubbly melted cheese on top.
Click to expand...



Try gum if you're struggling with that. I struggle big time in the last hour or two before my next meal and I now just have two pieces of gum which makes me feel better and kills the cravings for sweet things! Your lunch sounds delicious! Mines in half and hour, having tofu and vege stirfry with curry powder and tumeric...can't wait!
 
GRRRR! So, today wasmy secret five year anniversary with the company that I work for. Secret because I don't speak of such things (because I'd like to not be with this company) and before we closed for the night my co workers came out with a huge chocolate cake with five candles singing that damn jolly goodfella song. Fuckers!


I ate cake. Black forest chocolate cake with a damage of about 400 calories. I think I'll fire everyone tomorrow.


And then driving home I got side swiped by big huge truck, in my Moms car. She's going to kill me. The entire drivers side of the car is trashed. And joy, when I called to tell her she said Dad is out of the hospital and they are flying home tomorrow. What a lovely day. *insert sarcasm here
 
Wow, that sounds a bad day. :banghead:


On the bright side, you now have a great day to measure all future days against. They should all look super duper in comparison...
 
Wow! Hope you are okay...and hope the person had good insurance!


You are due some good days! Stay with it!
 
todayisgoingtobegood. todayisgoingtobegood. todayisgoingtobegood. todayisgoingtobegood.


I'm just going to keep repeating that till a good day manifests itself.


Off to a good start though. Got my teef cleened at the dentists office this morning. Came to work, shit hitting the fan as usual. The front door was frozen shut. How the hell does that happen? the door knob was frozen in a locked position. Its goddamned cold outside today. It is almost ruining my good day, but its winter so a little perspective is needed to make it a good day. At least I have a heated interior to stay warm in.


I weighed in this morning, a lbs up from my last weigh in. Not happy about that. Fucking cake. I'm sure the extra serving of gnocchi didn't help last night either. I find it amazing that you have one day of high calorie eating, not even over my max calorie intake, and I see a gain. This balance is too delicate.
 
My body will latch on to extra calories whenever I have bben dieting for a while. I like the way you are focusing the negative thoughts on the trouble foods....Cussin the cake is healthy.


Hope your good day has happened
 
It has been mostly good. For a mid winter weekday while dieting its been good. At least its not an unstructured weekend :) And the workday is done with so I'm relaxing with a cocktail waiting for the 'rents to fly in.


I've decided to start typing up my calorie log here, in case I have overwhelming success, and in the future become a world famous diet guru and people want to read how it all was lost. I'm not full of myself at all. Also, its good to have a place I can copy paste my diet diary from when I decide to publish my tell all book on the rigors of weight loss and the wonders of the weight loss support communities. joking...joking...kinda.


B: SF hazelnut coffee creamer and coffee; yoplait light yogurt: 196c

L: 3.4 ounces of chicken breast; 30g blue cheese dressing; franks red hot; 2 celery sticks: 268c

Snack: 2 mini babybel light; 1 satsuma orange: 145c

D:

Late Snack: 6 oz POM; 2 oz vodka: 244 (after work de-drama-fier)


I've not decided on what to have for dinner...although this POM and vodka is pretty good, a few more of these would round out my calories for the day ;)

Everything in moderation (says Paula Deen).
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top