My No-Counting Weight Loss

M

MsBubbles

Active member
Update Aug 7th 2011: Forget what I said about not counting! I am not losing the weight fast enough and I'm fed up with carrying it around with me! So I am back on my 'counting' portions diet (calorie-based).

I'm a 44 year old female who has had 15 lb to lose for three years :blush5:. Counting food-intake doesn't work for me and tends to send me into eating-disorderland.

My aim here is to lose this 15 lb healthily and sanely. I realize counting calories works well for others, but it doesn't work for me. Neither does eliminating or forbidding foods. If I have nothing to rebel against, that takes the whole rebellion struggle out of the equation, and I'm left with a positive attitude of trying to improve on what I'm doing, rather than taking away.

This is the approach that makes the most sense to me! My weight loss will be slower than in the past when I followed various diets: calorie-controlled, paleo for Athletes, South Beach diet, etc. But I hope the weight loss will be a success, that the weight will finally stay off this time, and my eating habits will be effortlessly sensible forever after.

Height: 5 ft 10

Current weight: 160 lb

Happy weight: ~145 lb

Activity: I am a year-round outdoor inline skater. I'd call myself a speedskater because I wear speed boots, but I'm not very fast :). Between Spring and Fall I am either training for, or taking part in ultra-long distance type events (87 milers, 94 milers, 102 milers). So I get large amounts of cardio. I am currently supplementing that with an at-home weights program, which doesn't interfere with my hill training on skates. I miss my previous muscle tone that I achieved through this at-home weights program.

With this much activity, I need carefully-planned intake, making sure I get plenty of starchy carbs and sodium during those long summer outdoor events. It's very hard to eat regular 'diet' proportions when you've just burned 10,000 calories skating from Georgia to Alabama that day. Also for this reason, regular diets don't work in this case. The wave of hunger that follows the next 24 hours rivals that of my teenage son.

I am happy to be free of the calorie-counting and restrictions craziness. It's merely a mindset, but I think it's going to make all the difference in the world to me. I am actually embracing healthy food choices rather than resenting them.

My biggest problem is going out of town regularly on the weekends and eating too much restaurant food. This usually sets any weight loss back that I earned in the previous week, and usually takes me yet another week at home in my normal routine to get back to where I was before! I have my weekday food pretty much figured out and my weight starts to come off by Friday, so my next hurdle is to figure out the best approach to take on these heyday weekends so I'm not constantly sabotaging myself. I suspect though, that if I'm not trying to restrict myself, I won't feel the need to stuff my face like it's my last meal. So telling myself "No more restaurant food!", or even "No more Quesadillas!", or "No more Indian Buffet!!" just won't work. It has the opposite effect. I will need to take a look at it from a different view point, which I hope to explore in this diary!

I tend to also play mind-wars with myself over training and workouts. Skating brings me a much-needed even temper, not to mention joy, and I want to keep it that way. There is a delicate balance I need to respect.
 
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I am a bad forum member! :angelsad2: Tsk. Didn't read the sticky. I would like to answer these questions from the sticky because I think they will help me, or at least fortify my own resolutions:


-- How much weight do you want to lose?

15 lb

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?

Anywhere from 3 months to a year.

-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?

Choosing health food over comfort food, eating for nutrition instead of entertainment, and not counting/controlling/going insane. Continue ultra-marathon training with weight training on the side.

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?

My DBF. My Mother. Myself! Online forum(s).

-- How realistic is your goal?

Very. I have weighed 145 lb in the past and been healthy and happy.

-- When will you start?

July 2011

At what weight would you like to be at four months from now?

148 lb

Why do you want to lose weight?

I feel heavy and tired all the time. Too little energy for everyday tasks. Would like to improve my power-to-weight ratio for speed events and easier hill climbing!! And of course to fit back into my smaller clothes as well as a whole load of team jerseys that are still too tight for me to wear comfortably.

Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event?

Sept 17th marks the beginning of event-season for me, so any time between Sept 17th and Oct 24th 2011.

What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?

Restaurant food. Being around other people, including family! I get sidetracked and somehow forget what I'm trying to do. Lose focus and eat food I know won't help me.

Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?

Ooh! This is a good one! I'd say comfort-eating, and hanging around comfort-eaters. As well as an unhealthy relationship to diets and food. It's certainly NOT from lack of working out!

What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight?

To land a more fulfilling job with flexible hours. Continuing to keep comfort-foods out of the house. Keeping a lid on my food budget (forces me to get more nutrients for my buck and avoid restaurants). Get to sleep earlier at nights. Hang out with like-minded healthy eaters.

Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight?

In 2007 I did well by doggedly following a portions plan from Feb through Oct., and I had a great, lightweight year. But since it was based on counting stuff, I ultimately rebelled and gained all the weight back again. Otherwise, illness, anxiety or crash diets have worked (not my favorite method)! But in my twenties I ate very healthily and was my goal weight without much thought.

Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back?

Slipped into nasty emotional habits. Treating food as comfort/reward. Getting caught up in the promise of controlling mind games or fad diets. Being tired and lazy after work and buying crap for dinner instead of cooking.

What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work?

Diets and counting calories. Too much rebellion involved, as well as 'good' vs. 'bad'. I am never going to waste my time and energy on that again!

Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?

Nope. Been there, done that for three decades, don't need to detonate that bomb again.

Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?

Not as often as I should. If my son is with me I try to cook unprocessed meats with potatoes and veg, or chili. If I'm on my own I'll cook lentil soup and eat it for a week, or plates of fish with veggies.

How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?

Too often, like three times a week. Mexican restaurants due to cheap fajitas & quesadillas a la carte. Indian buffet. The occasional hormone-burger joint.

What are your three favorite foods?

Define "foods". LOL. Berries, nuts, sockeye salmon. (But Junk food would be chocolate, butter and cookies).

What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?

Not restrict anything at all. Choose whole foods. Eat to satiate hunger/stop eating when full.

If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?

I'd have a round, butt-shaped butt, straight legs and a shorter torso. These are not things weight loss can fix.

Do you eat when you are not hungry?

Not any more since I stopped 'dieting'.

Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?

Not any more since I stopped 'dieting'.

Do you hide your food or eat in secret?

Not any more since I stopped 'dieting'!!

Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?

Not any more since I stopped 'dieting'!!!

Do you eat as a reward?

Not any more since I stopped 'dieting'. Well that was a very telling sequence of questions!

Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?

Yes. Breakfast, lunch and dinner! Wow.

What do you normally eat for a meal?

There is no normal. But I do better if it involves fat and protein.

What type of snacks do you eat?

Nuts, berries. Chocolate if somebody has given it to me. Free food has no calories, right?!

In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?

Training for ultra marathon inline skates. Weight training.

Where do you go for exercise?

Local park, trail, or roads.

A local public gym? School/work gym?

Never.

Home?

Yes, dumbells w/exercise balance ball at home.

What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise?

Inline speed skating, ice skating, yoga.

What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?

Daily: too heavy and sluggish. I want to feel light and airy! Now!
Weekly/monthly: to see results in my training (faster with less effort or discomfort), and on the scales/waistband.
Yearly: to have all this behind me finally.

Do you have rewards for certain goals?

No I think those types of rewards are stupid. If I want to buy myself something either I have the money for it or I haven't so why wait? Plus being light weight and energetic IS the reward. Every single second of the day.
 
That sticky questionnaire was so helpful! Thanks to the OP!

Today I am down to 158.6 lb (using the word "down" loosely here!). So that's 3.5 lb re-lost since last Monday, 5 days ago.

These are the same four or five pounds I lose and gain each week and weekend. I have to put a stop to that now. But I am encouraged today and feel good. I have a change in my routine coming this evening...my son is returning from vacation and several weeks at his dad's. So my own little lentil-soup world will come crashing down while I attempt to have food in the house he can plough through that won't tempt me. It's a laziness thing. I'd rather eat a cheese sandwich than cook lean protein and veg. It's quicker and more fun to eat. But this is what keeps me heavy. So there's a fundamental habit change I need to forge. I need to take it easy on myself during this adjustment time, and use the spare hours today to research meal plans and go to the store.

I skated last night for 1 hour and did my upper body weights routine plus abs last night when I got home. So I am feeling all strong and confident today.
 
MsBubbles said:
That sticky questionnaire was so helpful! Thanks to the OP!

Today I am down to 158.6 lb (using the word "down" loosely here!). So that's 3.5 lb re-lost since last Monday, 5 days ago.

These are the same four or five pounds I lose and gain each week and weekend. I have to put a stop to that now. But I am encouraged today and feel good. I have a change in my routine coming this evening...my son is returning from vacation and several weeks at his dad's. So my own little lentil-soup world will come crashing down while I attempt to have food in the house he can plough through that won't tempt me. It's a laziness thing. I'd rather eat a cheese sandwich than cook lean protein and veg. It's quicker and more fun to eat. But this is what keeps me heavy. So there's a fundamental habit change I need to forge. I need to take it easy on myself during this adjustment time, and use the spare hours today to research meal plans and go to the store.

I skated last night for 1 hour and did my upper body weights routine plus abs last night when I got home. So I am feeling all strong and confident today.
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you're doing great chick, keep up the hard work:) you'll be down to 145 pounds in no time:)
 
Thank you so much, Irishprincess and Lianna! We can do this! I do appreciate the encouragement. I was on other forums, which although their main theme isn't weight loss, everybody talks about it/struggles with it, and I feel like my brainstorming about mine just fell on deaf ears. So it's great to be here where people feel my pain. LOL.
 
Silly scales! I Am up by 0.8 lb today. But I am not upset because my body just feels tighter somehow. My stomach is wobbling less when I walk :hurray:. I skated 10 miles last night then did my abs & plyo jumps afterwards...then got hit with a huge hunger 2 hours later! So I ate. I am not willing to lose a lot of weight quickly while being in misery/hungry.

I am effectively changing my mental habits here, because this morning when I saw the weight gain on the scales I automatically felt the urge to tighten the control, or to count stuff (calories, fat grams, carbs, etc.). But immediately I realized this not only doesn't work for me but actually ends up ruining all the good progress I've made so far by sending me into a binge rebellion. So I just gave myself a mental pat on the head and said "No worries! The weight will come off! Just keep doing what you're doing - and DON'T PANIC!".

I averaged out my weight last week at 160.0 lb, after adding each day's weight and dividing it out for the average. This gives me a realistic view of my weight, since daily fluctuations don't really amount to a hill of beans.

It feels good not to be on a 'diet'!
 
I came here to rant and to calm myself down and see sense. I thought I was just in the middle of a binge, but I actually wasn't...I was just genuinely hungry! I ate at 4. Took a nap, skated 11 miles at 7pm so by 9pm I was ravenous. I didn't eat the most wholesome food because the fish I had anticipated hadn't defrosted. I stopped when I was full so therefore this is not a binge and there's no need for me to feel shame or self-hatred.

I'm pretty confident that all I need to do here is eat when I'm hungry, stop when I'm satiated (not bursting at the seams), and eat good nourishing food, and I will be able to shed these extra pounds eventually. Not as spectacularly as, say, the South Beach Diet, but I will lose them, and will not gain them back.
 
I really love your positive attitude going through your weight loss journey. it motivates me to take things more lightly. keep up the spirit. :)
 
Thanks, Linana!

OK well I have gained weight again so I'm up to 160.2. Several things come to mind:

- I went through the entire "Guess this looks like I need to bite the bullet and go on a 'diet' after all if I want to lose weight" thought process, and managed to bargain a bit with myself. I have concluded I'm eating too much white bread, which is stealing my chances of eating vegetables or lean protein. So I will try that this week. Not 'banning' white bread, but steering myself to other things if I find myself making myself another cheese sandwich. Damned cheese sandwiches!

- I still managed to put on weight over a weekend even though I didn't go out of town!! So it's not the 'going out of town' bit that is killing me. I don't know what it is though, but once I figure it out I think the problem will be as good as solved.

- I'm having a bit of an identity crisis when it comes to my weight. I'm still thinking of myself as a 145 lb person stuck inside a 160 lb body. Not a huge difference compared to what others have to lose, themselves, but big enough to make me really loathe my appearance in underwear. I don't like getting on the scales and seeing 160. I want to see my waist again. I liked having a waist.

Ok...lets hope I can see some progress this week by avoiding white flour.
 
Just checking in to avoid going off the rails - even though I'm not on any rails to go off of, technically...

Had a crappy day at work so sought solace in a bag of marshmallows my sister had sent as a form of packing material in a transatlantic parcel. I finished the bag so now they're gone! And so is the chocolate she sent.

But I did manage to avoid white flour/bread today, so yay. I didn't work out today because I was too exhausted from staying up last night until 2am. Oops.

Will get back to it tomorrow.

I gained weight again today but I'm not too worried: we'll see next Monday how those numbers average out over the course of the week.
 
MsBubbles..you are so active...I am sure once you get your eating under control those pounds will fly off...your skating sounds fascinating...VERY IMPRESSIVE!! :):)
 
Thanks, Tetemcg! I appreciate the encouragement! It helps to have a sport I find fun. I probably wouldn't do a thing, otherwise!
 
Didn't weigh myself today. Not going to stress about it for a few days. Only got about 4 hours sleep...my sleep schedule is all messed up. Kept having nightmares about work once I did fall asleep! Sigh. So today is going to be tough for me to remain sane about food. Usually when I'm sleep-deprived I crave sweets and give in to them. I find it especially hard on those days to plan ahead even a few hours for a nice meal. Ugh. I just want to go back to bed and say adios to my employers for good. I know, I know, 'in this economy' I should be grateful I have a job. On some level I am but I'm rapidly losing sight of that gratitude.

Ooh. All this mental weirdness and negativity. Got to keep all separate from the food/nutrition today! I'm ripe for a comfort-eating binge. I need to deal with the negativity while not in the context of food. Writing that down here has helped already.

ETA: its 'after work' time now and I made it through the day without: falling asleep at my desk; hating myself for not being at my goal weight; buying a chocolate bar. I also am doing well avoiding white flour products (not 'banning' them, so then I have nothing to play mind games about). I am remembering what success I had before when I avoided white flour products - or any flour products for that matter. My perma-bloat (stomach) seems to deflate within a few days of this. Wheat is a weak point for me. I can't seem to do it in moderation. Once I start, I can't stop. I was raised in a white-flour (poor) household, and now that I'm an adult, would eat cookies and toast 24/7 if there were no health consequences to that. Even as a child I remember my sister laughing at my distended belly while the rest of my body was so thin & lanky. White flour! I don't get gassy, so I'm not sure why it causes me to be so swollen. Probably some other kind of reaction. I already have other food allergies so I wouldn't be surprised.

I read an article today about the bad job situation, people who have been out of work for ages, and how it is wearing on their mental health. I am now happy with my job and grateful I am not unemployed. This fosters peace, which fosters healthier eating (no need for comfort-eating!).

2nd ETA!! Had to force myself to go train tonight. Hill training. ugh. I felt horrible. It was hot. But there was a small bit of progress in that on the smallest 'big' hill I was able to get up it without stopping. The other 'really big' hill, I had to stop on, twice, both times I went up it. But it's still better than sitting on the couch. I got home and did some ab exercises but I'm not going to do the rest of the upper body ones tonight because I don't like them. So there.
 
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I had an interesting little conversation with myself in the shower this morning after getting on the scales. The scales showed a weight loss from the last time I got on them 2 days ago. Today I was a 158.8 lb. I was surprised, because I had to peer over my bulbous belly to see the number.

It is very unnerving to me that I am trying, oh-so-carefully, to nurture a healthy relationship to food, as well as busting my gut with my workouts, and not having the pounds just fall off.

Whenever I've been 'on a diet', the pounds do indeed just fall off. And then fifteen days later I have abandoned the diet amidst binges and put it all back on again and worse.

It occurred to me this morning, that getting to my goal weight while never having had to give up any food-types, or counting stuff, would be really just having my cake and eating it too! Sorry for saying 'cake' (trigger). I have to believe this is possible! And I have to keep myself away from the empty promise of quick poundage-loss.

I quickly considered that I 'only' have 8 weeks to one of my first deadline type events where I really wanted to be at my goal weight. Looking at the past week it's obvious I'm NOT going to make it by then. So that's depressing. If I lose say, even half a pound a week, that's only going to put me at 154 lb by then. That's way better than the beginning of the year (165 lb) but still disappointing. But I really shouldn't be disappointed!! It'd be infinitely better for me to be at 154 lb in a sane manner, than 154 lb from yo-yo dieting all summer. Besides, I'll have less chance of piling it all on again in record time from diet-rebound, if I'm not dieting at all.

Random thought/no-dieting perk: Since I'm not looking at various food items with calorie numbers attached to them, I find I can be more satisfied on less. Like I'm not thinking 'Gotta have 300 cals for lunch', or 'gotta have a 200 cal snack to tide me over'. This means I am more satisfied on say, a handful of fresh cherries, or a hardboiled egg. I don't have to eat an entire mini meal to feel like I've had food. I am more in touch with my feelings of fullness, or rather, just eating to be satiated and not stuffed to the brim because the calories call for it.
 
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We need to be good to ourselves, here! We're doing great!!

It'll take a whole lot more than the odd hundred or even thousand calories to gain even one pound. I know it doesn't seem that way, but trust me. You'd have to eat 3500 extra to gain a pound (of fat, I believe).

I'm hurting for those who are hating themselves unnecessarily and hope we can all find ways to treat ourselves kindly.
 
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You are doing greaaaaat MsBubbles:) You're so positive and thank you so much for visiting my diary, i really appreciate your kind words and support!:) xoxo
 
Thanks for stopping by, Irishprincess! I appreciate the cheers.

Microscopic weight loss today: 0.4 lb. Yay! I'll take it. I'm now back to 158.2. So I'm still playing catchup after the weekends, taking me til Thursday to return to the pre-weekend weight gain. Bah.

Alright well now it's day three or four of mind-tennis with myself (I run from one side of the net to the other):

"The only way you can lose this weight is by dieting or going hungry!".

"But diets make me fatter in the end and make me miserable into the bargain - I'm losing weight albeit microscopically - by eating when I'm hungry and stopping before I'm stuffed".

Phew! But I think the only way I can get my extra 15 lb and borderline eating-disorder behind me at the same time is to work through these issues and gently school myself into a healthy attitude. No self-flagellation allowed!

It was funny...last night I had a nap after work and woke up feeling absolutely horrible. Physically horrible, mentally horrible. All the demons I ever had came out to get me. I was ripe for a bingefest/comfort eat. But after being on this 'never say diet' journey now for about 2 weeks, my first INSTANT thought after "I hate myself! Where's the chocolate?!", was "Chocolate is going to make me feel WORSE, so just forget that idea!". And not having any in the house at that point was major. For all my progress, if I had had chocolate in the house I would have been at it within seconds.

So it was a strange experience! I feel like I went through the entire wretchedness of a comfort-eating binge, without eating a damn thing! And waddaya know...the stormy moods passed within an hour or two, anyway. I didn't need to stuff them down or numb them with food. I really didn't want my stomach to ache so I didn't binge. How wonderful! I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.

I never worked out last night because I had some lovely unexpected house guests for dinner (my kids & their friends), so I ate a bowl of spaghetti instead. Yes I had cheese with it. I gave myself a little less of the noodles and a little more of the meat sauce than I would have normally chosen. I did not go hungry last night.

I have this holy grail of a diary that I kept the last time I was at my goal weight, four years ago. I wrote down all my portions - whether I stuck to the plan that day or blew it out with a binge, and I wrote down all my workouts and training. I consult this sacred document regularly to try to find a snippet of why it worked so well that year, but honestly all I see are scribbles and cryptic notes to myself! But last night when I looked at it again, I noticed just HOW MUCH training I did. I didn't just go skate - I was logging heart-rate numbers, mileage and minutes, and was even doing interval training as early as March! No wonder the weight came off me. But these days since I'm lugging an extra 5 lb for the starting weight over where I started in 2007, it's an effort to get out there every day and train. I hate that feeling. I hate feeling so heavy that I can't get off the damn couch after work.

I think it'll only be a few pounds less for me to feel a whole lot more energized and able to accomplish more physically each day.

Random thought/no-dieting perk: I no longer consider food in day-long increments. I think of it on a case-by-case basis, or a meal-by-meal basis. The liberation with that is that if I'm not hungry, I don't eat! Wow. I'm thinking like a skinny person now. LOL.

Update: Just got back from a 'job interview'. Such as it was. It was such a joke I am now eating cheese and crackers.
 
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AH! Just in time for the weekend I lost another pound since yesterday. So I'm now at 157.2 lb. Starting point was 160 lb, goal is 145 lb. However, I will average out the weights from the whole week and take that number more seriously, since a pound here, three pounds there can be the result simply of fluid/water fluctuations one day to the next.

OK. Deep breath. Going out of town this weekend so my eating schedule won't be my own and I'm sure I'll be spending some time in - gasp - RESTAURANTS!! Help me! :leaving:

However, after almost two weeks of deliberately not being on a diet, I can tell my mentality is already changing. The most significant change I can feel in my thought processes, is that I have somehow eliminated the panic of needing to cram as much food down my throat in one sitting as I possibly can. Since I'm not withholding anything from myself, I don't have that "I may never eat again!" attitude. This means I can leave unappetizing stuff on my plate, or on the break-room table at work. It means I eat until my brain registers 'full', but not 'stuffed to the point of pain'. It means I only eat enough to shut the hunger up. It means a plate of vegetables is plenty filling, thanks. It's a phenomenon! But we shall see how all this translates to restaurant food. It's hard for me to read a menu and see any sense at all when it comes to nutrition and what's good for me. A buffet is actually better, since I can see the food and the amount as I put it on to my plate. I am much better about putting small amounts of lots of different stuff on there, rather than piling it high and not being able to finish it (wastrel!).

This weekend will probably see me guzzling lots of gatorade and salty foods since I will be doing at least a 30 mile skate on Saturday in the heat of the morning. So I fully expect my weight to go up due to all the fluids and sodium. It usually takes me til Wednesday the following week to get back to where I was, weight- and de-bloat-wise.

I am kinda nervous to see how I will 'perform', with the eating this weekend.
 
I'm back. I think I did ok this weekend. That is, I didn't have any restrictions to stick to, so I don't believe I overate. I didn't go through this weekend as I have done in the previous ones where I was trying like hell to 'be good'. Since I have ruled out the whole 'good vs bad' concept, I ate when I was hungry and stopped before I was painfully stuffed, and I didn't gravitate towards 'naughty' foods.

I did do a 37 mile skate though. Very hilly, and VERY hot. 97 deg F. Took forever but spent 30 minutes in an air-conditioned drug store guzzling several bottles of gatorade.

Ate Indian Buffet afterwards!! So good. Ate boring paleo stuff later that evening though, but there was nothing else to eat, thankfully. The GPS said I burned 4,000+ calories on that skate. I probably ate 2,000 of them back at the buffet.

But I was very happy with my progress because apparently I have lost enough real-estate to fit back into my team jersey from last year, that had become too tight to wear earlier this year. So yay!

Will weigh myself in the morning and see what's up.
 
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