My No-Counting Weight Loss

Oh well crap. Today I am back up to 160.6 lb. I didn't feel like I weighed that much? I'm really frustrated about that. But I have to try to stay level headed here.

I just wish I could get through a weekend without putting on 3 lb. If I could do that, the weight I would lose through the week might actually get lower. Really mad right now.

My average over the course of the week since last Tuesday works out to 158.7 lb, but I didn't weigh myself every day.

There is one 'thing' that is going to promote water retention for me this week so I need to remember that too.

I'm just so sick of being over 160 lb. I want to get rid of this extra flab already.

Well I just noticed one good thing... this is actually a 2lb improvement over the last time I went out of town. I came back almost 2 lb heavier than I am now. So I guess I did lower my set-point a little on that one. That was 2 weeks ago.

Sigh. It's such a case of 'lose one pound, gain three'.

Mid-morning update: OK it's AUGUST!! August is a long month too. I really want to make good headway this month. Four and a half weeks should be enough time for me to lose 10 lbs, shouldn't it?

I think I am going to have to cut back on white flour (ok I am repeating myself: I said this last week, did it for 2 days, then forgot it all again), and cut back on sodium. I think that should do it. So I am going to have to go grocery shopping today after work, which is really difficult because I won't have a brain by then. I only got 4 hours sleep last night. That's a weight-loss saboteur right there.

I have changed certain things about the way I eat, regarding hunger sensors, and I'm doing well on that, plus I believe I have kicked the comfort-eating habit for the most part, as well as the boredom-eating habit. Now I need to address WHAT I'm eating.

After-work: Came here to write my food/health/weightloss thoughts out instead of eating them from boredom, or some sort of twisted reward for being at work all day. It's working! This diary is really helping me. I feel free to blab or drone here because on other forum sites that are about something else, people feel obliged to read or reply when they don't want to...they're just being polite. Eventually they just stop reading everything and I don't blame them. Here nobody reads it anyway but if they stumbled on it, they wouldn't be surprised to find me rambling obsessively about food and weight loss. I feel comfortable here among others going through the same kind of struggles.

Epiphany! I got changed out of work clothes into couch potato clothes and noticed I have a nice set of cankles stagnating at the bottom of my shins. So that explains the weight gain (fluid).

Evening update: Bloody hell. Went to the local park to try to skate off some of this excess fluid pooling in my ankles and to burn some calories, only to find the stupid park is littered with football teams and cheerleaders. I don't mind the football teams because they're on the fields. But the cheerleaders, for some asinine reason, feel the need to take up all the paved trails. What's wrong with the grassy areas? So I didn't get to do my training. I am majorly pissed and jonesing for a skate. I need to blast out some of this restlessness. Looks like I'm going to have to just sit and stew all evening instead.
 
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Ahah! Down 2 lb today, so that fluid retention from the weekend must've evaporated finally. Today's scale reading:158.6 lb.

I was hungry last night before bed so I ate about a pound of strawberries dipped in sugar! So good. I suppose that was actually 'dinner', since I didn't have dinner before that.

When I got on the scales this morning I noticed my belly being bulbous again. I like to try to soften the blow for whatever the scales are going to read by gauging how much my belly is protruding that morning, and how many extra bloated pounds that's likely to read. Some days I'm bloated yet show a 2 lb loss, like today. This is why I weigh myself every day and take the averages over the week. I don't think my poor, fragile self-esteem could handle executing new and 'healthy' (i.e. 'difficult to adopt') habits for a whole week or two, only to get on the scales ONCE at the end of it and base my entire self-worth on the number that happens to show up that day.

So glad to be back to 158 ish already on Tuesday, instead of taking til Friday to get there!

Self-indulgent little update: Bah! It's so HOT!! I just wanna go skate but I don't want to keel over from the heat. I will wait until 7pm, but even then it's supposed to be 94 degrees, still.

Having some serious chocolate cravings right now. I will probably indulge later if I can get to a store to get some. Drinking espresso drip coffee instead. That might do the trick.

Doctors are such asses when it comes to being tactful. Twice now I have made the mistake of mentioning having lost a few pounds, only to have them look back through my records and frown and go "mmmmmm-no". What they don't realise is that I mean I put on 8 lb and lost 8 since the last time they weighed me, so it looks like I'm around the same weight each time. They think I'm delusional that I lost any weight at all. I have to just keep my mouth shut next time. Idiots. I know my body better than they ever will. LOL.
 
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Thanks, Irishprincess!:hug2: I appreciate you checking in!

Alright! Down another 1.1 lb today. Today's weight is 157.5 lb. Who knows? Maybe I'll meet the August challenge I signed up for! It all seems easy right now so I'm going to just ride the wave. I'm sure I'll plateau-out at some point soon though, probably around the 155 mark.

I did go skate last night despite the heat. However, I was astounded to make it all the way up the one 'really big hill' without stopping. I think it has been three years since I was able to do that, because I have been carrying around these extra 15 lb for the past 3-4 years now. It didn't matter how pumped my quads were, or how much stamina my lungs and heart had gained over the training season - carrying that extra weight prevented me from really ever making any progress on those uphills.

Power-to-weight ratio baby! Mine must be getting a bit more favorable again now. It's about time.

I'm hungry! Gonna eat some breakfast. Still avoiding bread and white flour, and attempting to keep the sodium down. That's probably the reason for my 3 lb weight loss since Sunday.

Lunchtime update: I wanna go out for a chocolate-run. Actually just a chocolate protein bar would be a fine substitute! I think I'm finally all lentilled-out. It's 'that time' for me so the chocolate cravings are coming thick and fast. LOL.

Mid-afternoon update: I'm swinging wildly between wanting to nod off at my desk and go out for some sort of ice cream with chocolate chunks and cookie dough in it. I started to battle myself over it and wondered why I was craving this and remembered I'm probably craving starchy sugary things because I gave up wheat. But there's no reason to deny myself, since I'm not on a diet. It's alright. Can't wait to leave work so I can get something fun at the store on the way home.

Evening update: Fry's Turkish Delight after work today. Expensive here in the USA but - and I quote Office Space - It was everything I dreamed it would be. So was the pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream I guzzled at the same time! But now I'm done and I don't want any of that stuff any more. I'm glad I'm not on a diet. If I had been on a diet I would have gone on a full-fledged binge of blind insanity. As it is today, I stopped after that. I feel fine about it all and am not bloated. Neither am I hating myself...so that's all great progress.
 
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There's a discussion going on on another board I frequent (to do with something completely different), about the whole 'clear your plate' subject. That is...how many of you were forced to finish your entire plate when you were a kid, and do you think that is now why you have trouble listening to your 'I'm full' sensors?

My parents didn't make me finish my plate too often and I had older siblings who were only too happy to take my mashed potatoes off my hands. So I can't attribute my warped opinion of food to that. How about any of you...if you're reading? :)
 
MsBubbles said:
There's a discussion going on on another board I frequent (to do with something completely different), about the whole 'clear your plate' subject. That is...how many of you were forced to finish your entire plate when you were a kid, and do you think that is now why you have trouble listening to your 'I'm full' sensors?

My parents didn't make me finish my plate too often and I had older siblings who were only too happy to take my mashed potatoes off my hands. So I can't attribute my warped opinion of food to that. How about any of you...if you're reading? :)
Click to expand...

MsBubbles, while my dad tried to make me eat everything on my plate when i was younger my mom didnt have the same approach. I dont have this problem because to this day i still dont eat everything on my plate unless its a small portion or its extra yummy!! When i get full i just leave it there. I dont know how i became such a fattie haha, my love for fizzy drinks and bad food brought me to this weight i suppose.

Hope all is well
 
That's good to hear, Irishprincess. You have a healthy attitude there, sounds like! Yay for quitting eating when we have had enough (before belly pain, that is).

Alright well I shirked the weigh-in this morning because I think I got complacent at my 3 lb weight re-loss this week. But I need to just hop on the scales and write the number down so I know what's going on. Otherwise I just sort of drift back into those bad habits that put on the pounds in the first place.

I didn't work out or train yesterday. I was taking a 'biological' break from it. I ate chocolate and went shopping instead.

It was a good ten degrees cooler this evening, so I went out for a skate, and made it up not just the first big hill, but the second one too, without stopping! Ah progress. The next three times though I had to pull over on the side to catch my breath and let my heart rate go down to a normal level.
 
Well I had an inkling I felt a bit heavier (and I do have an excuse for another four days or so). Back to 158.8 lb today. I would to be a solid 155 lb now, since I've been doing this for 2 weeks. I need to think about that when I'm eating and see how I can achieve that.

I haven't eaten enough vegetables this week. I know I need them when I start craving salad!

Gentle, non-self-flagellating thoughts about dropping a few more pounds in the next week or so: I'm not going through quite the same mental cartwheels and tailspins that I did when I first started this journal, but I am going through a smaller version of them. That is, my first thoughts don't fixate on how many calories I need to restrict myself to, to lose x number of pounds any more. But I am wondering how on earth I am going to 'speed up' the process. I think I need to watch my sodium intake a bit more closely. This forces me to eat rather paleo-like without even buying the book or announcing I'm going on the diet.
 
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Oh well. Sad. frustrated. Got on the scales this morning (fully clothed this time) and it read 160.4 lb.. I didn't workout or train yesterday but I did lounge around eating major comfort foods. Won't bother to list them. I didn't OVEREAT the comfort foods, though, which is a great improvement over before, and now I need to figure out how to freeze all this stuff so it'll keep for the next time. Or maybe I should just take it to work on Monday.

I *am* biologically challenged still, for the next few days, so I will take it all with a grain of salt and try not to get too upset about it.

It just gets really old to be on this see-saw of three pounds on, three pounds off, each week, like clockwork. I wouldn't mind it so much if it were 144 lb to 147 lb!! But as is stands, it's a three-pound swing about 13 to 16 lb heavier up the scale than that.

A friend of mine is really knocking herself out on an aggressive diet. The opposite of what I'm doing. So she's going great guns, losing pounds, then lets it level off for a while, then goes at it again. I keep toying with the idea of doing this but what I HAVE to remember is that I HAVE DONE this for many years and it just doesn't work for me. I can't do that. I'm not made up to have that kind of regime work for me. So I have to keep going with what I'm doing because it IS working, albeit slow as molasses. I know it's working, like the world turning, I just can't feel it. No startling changes over the course of a week. But I'm not going back to those heavier weights either, so what I'm doing *is* working. Patience, young Padawan!
 
Oh well I think I ran out of patience. I think I have failed at not being on a diet. I think I am going to have to go into some kind of food-control BS. I really don't want to but I'm so fed up with carrying this extra 15 lb around with me.

One thing I *do* know, after this whole experiment, is that I am 100% confident I can feed myself in a way that I don't put weight on. I just stay. exactly.where.I.am.

Feeling really down in the dumps tonight. Had some bad things happen with some people that make me just want to give up on ever interacting with people ever again til the day I die. So I am comfort-eating right now. Sad but true.

I will begin my portions-diet tomorrow. This was the last 'diet' that ever worked for me, so maybe it'll work again.
 
Well I didn't do the 'portions' thing but I am still well within my calorie limit for the day. So I guess this is 'day 1' of my return to dieting with my tail between my legs and my hopes utterly dashed.

Not feeling so great about life or myself right now.

Skated for 40 mins but a huge storm came through with lots of CG's (Cloud to Ground lightning) so I listened to the hysterical voice in my head and quit and got to safety. So no major calorie burn today. I should do weights but I am hating myself so much I don't think I am worth it.

Will get on the stupid scales tomorrow and see what the damage is.

ETA: Came here to do more whining and get it out of my system. Boy these hormones this month have left a trail of destruction behind them. Think I'll make another cuppa tea (Fred). I think I am going to give up on achieving much of anything at all in what is left of today, and go at it again, hopefully with renewed hope tomorrow. I am feeling totally hopeless right now. I loathe my stomach. I just loathe it. I want it to go away, and then I want to stop thinking about it any more.
 
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Thanks for the comment, Sweat Daily! Yes this one has worked like a dream for me before (4 years ago). I got it out of a Muscle and Fitness Hers magazine and added a portion or two to accommodate my marathon training. The good thing about it is that it's so flexible. On rest days or the day after, I need less calories so just leave out some of the 'extras' portions. What I LOVE about this plan is that it makes me make sure I include veg and protein - otherwise, when left to my own devices I only eat sweet carbs, fat and fruit!

If I have a ridiculously heavy training day or weekend, I up the portions proportionately, so I'm still getting a good balance of nutrition.

I am hoping that my 3 week break, to listen to my 'hunger' and 'full' signals has better prepared me to follow a plan properly this time. I hope. I feel a whole lot less nuts about the whole thing now, anyway.

Just did a light workout today. And so far have eaten very sanely, enough but not too much. Hopefully enough to get rid of this belly of mine. We shall see in the morning. I think I am willing to get on the scales again now.
 
Ooh I'm hungry! I skated for an hour, came back home and wasn't that hungry, but I made myself eat some post-workout fresh strawberries. Then noticed I still needed to eat some protein today so I ate a small bowl of chili. Now I'm starving and want something sweet again.

But I'm going to zap these pounds. I am. That's it for food for the night.
 
Today's weight: 158.2 lb.

It's getting down there again. I have changed my mindset about my body. I was really lackadaisical about my stomach flab. Whenever I would lose 5 lb off of the 160 lb or so I have been fighting with the past 4 years, I would think "Oh I'm skinny now! I can relax!", and "I won't really get back down to 145 lb. I think it's really ok for me to stay at 155". And yet I would keep attempting to 'diet' - meaning I'd count stuff until 4pm every day when I got home from work, then run rampant through my food cabinets, eating all the fun stuff.

One problem I have is that my brain somehow gets fooled whenever I get down to 155 lb or lower, that I am really 'starving' and underweight, because my clothes are all too big for me again. So I need to make sure I have some smaller clothes to wear for when that happens. That sounds silly, but these are all ways I manage to sabotage my own efforts, and after 4 years I've had enough!

This is finally IT! I am going to have a good August, healthwise.

Afternoon update: Much hungrier today! So I guess the dieting is taking hold. That's ok. This is what I have to go through to get to a happy weight. I'm so sick of being sluggish and having to haul myself around like a swaggering dinosaur. Ker-thump! Yes. Hungry hungry hungry. I have a weight loss buddy, well she's already a buddy, and she knows what I'm going through. She has already lost 40 lb! But has more to go, so she is really feeling the sacrifice. However, we are determined to reach our goals.

Evening update: skated. Ate a bit afterwards. Am hungry! But I have to do this. I have to lose this weight.
 
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And down we go again, true to form, on a Thursday morning! Today's weight: 157.4 lb! But here comes the weekend, although this week I am thinking that even if I do go out of town I am going to be really vigilant about my diet. I am so sick of all this yo-yoing. Even when I wasn't 'on a diet', I was still yo-yoing.

I am happy to be able to see a vision this time. I mean, I have the goal and just want to reach it now, instead of play-acting at being on a diet or trying to lose weight. It's like somebody said in one of the stickies on this site somewhere: if you need to lose weight, just do it!

The Late Late Update: Still doing ok on this here diet thingy. A whole four days now! I am feeling REALLY hopeful and optimistic about this weekend's eating. I think I am going to be able to be sensible about it. I am going out of town but will take my entire fridge with me in a cooler so there should be no need to eat stuff that's not on my lists. I really hope I can come back from this weekend with NO weight gain from Friday, or at least only a pound, instead of the usual 3-4 lb post-weekend bloat. It might only be sodium and water weight from ultra-distance gatorade, water, and restaurant food, and it is usually gone again by Wednesday, but I want to try to knock out the 157 - 155 lb range next week, going into the middle of August.

Couldn't face my normal training today so I went to the park and walked/jogged for 4 miles. Probably about 50-50. Rest/travel day tomorrow.
 
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Holding steady at 157.6 lb. Going away for the weekend. Goal for Monday...not to come back with 3 extra pounds. But I feel hopeful this time that I can stay focused.
 
Well done for not giving up MsBubbles, you keep going and going!!:):):) Your so strong im extremely jealous of your positive attitude. Just had 3 piggy days there and i feel like such a fattie. Also today i got my period eeeeeek

Anyway keep up the skating, it sounds so much fun!:)
All the best lovely xoxox
 
I think I survived the weekend, calories-wise! However, sodium-wise I think I overdid it and have some residual bloating/retention. Need to eat more whole foods this week to get back to normal.
 
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