My life has been a country song...

[SoSel]

I don't know how long I stayed away from this place and the support I so desperately need[ed]. I don't know what I was trying to find out there on my own. I guess I just had to try. Try I did, and now I am back.

I come back, weighing about the same, but more fit thanks to Gold's Gym and my trainer. I survived my hubby moving to Germany, only to deploy to Iraq. I finished another semester of college without him here to help with the kids and every other domestic and personal matter.

I feel older [which, inarguably, you get older by the second], stronger, and more prepared. The only thing different this time is that I'm not as motivated about losing, but I'm also less concerned with my size. I feel more comfortable with who I am. And if it's not comfort, its most likely apathy.

I look forward to meeting new and greeting old friends. I'll update soon on what my plans are and what I'm actually doing.

 

[cinderelly]

Im so glad to see you backI was wondering what happenned to you You still hubby ?

 

[SoSel]

Aw, thank you! It's so great to hear from a friend.

Yeah, I'm still with the hubby. He's deployed to Iraq right now. Nothing has really changed on that front either. Still carrying around the same issues.

 

[SoSel]

Today has been one of those really off days. I feasted on junk food, like a glutton. I had every kind of "bad" foods this poor house had to offer. And now I feel gross. Ugh. Tomorrow I start new. Better food, some gym time, etc.

I'm having some domestic, financial, and marital issues right now. I haven't heard from my hubby since Sunday, which is hard, but not unheard of, during a deployment. My daughter's grades are falling dramatically in school. I have no motivation to go out and better myself. I lounged around the house reading Les Miserables all day. I got my nails painted and went through a drive-through for dinner. Not one of my better days.

Let's see what I can do. Who wants to hold me accountable?

 

[bikinibound]

I'll hold your ass accountable! Look here, you only have one life to live--so make it the best you can. Life is way too short to live it mediocrely. Someone I know just got diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. She probably has 5 weeks to live. You just never know how much time you have on this earth, so you want to die knowing you lived your life to the fullest, KWIM?

Your daughter's grades are a serious issue. Most likely the home situation is affecting her. I would get her some counselling pronto. I'm sure it's hard on her having her dad gone--even if he's the way he is, he's still her dad.

I know it's gotta be hard on you do manage everything on your own, but from what I remember, it wasn't like you got much help from your H when he was there..lol. In fact, I'd think it would be easier since you would have to deal with him less. What on earth do you argue about with him gone?

So, get off the couch, stay away from the drivethru, and fill your house with healthy foods and get rid of the junk. If it's not there, you can't eat it. You'll feel so much better about everything if you start eating better and exercising. Well it sounds like you are exercising, so that is WONDERFUL!! Good on ya for that.

Ok, girl. I know you are a strong one, and can do this. So hop to it!
You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to.

 

[Judyb]

Pleased to meet ya SoSel I'm kinda new around here so I don't believe we've met.

Bad days happen...it's what you do next that counts.

BTW...I've often said that my life would make a really good B movie. Maybe your life can provide the soundtrack to my life movie.

 

[SoSel]

Pleased to meet ya SoSel I'm kinda new around here so I don't believe we've met.

Bad days happen...it's what you do next that counts.

BTW...I've often said that my life would make a really good B movie. Maybe your life can provide the soundtrack to my life movie.

Judyb, I like the way you think! My soundtrack is at your disposal. Thanks for the first smile I've had all morning.

It's nice meeting you also. My birth name is Selena, so feel free to call me any derivative of that you find pleasing. Most of my friends call me Sel, and a few call me Ce-Ce (I think b/c I'm short and cute... lol!). My father wanted to name me Moonwalker, so there is another name I answer to.

I'm determined to make this day better, which is why I logged in first thing. Y'all keep me in line!

 

[SoSel]

I'll hold your ass accountable! Look here, you only have one life to live--so make it the best you can. Life is way too short to live it mediocrely. Someone I know just got diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. She probably has 5 weeks to live. You just never know how much time you have on this earth, so you want to die knowing you lived your life to the fullest, KWIM?

Your daughter's grades are a serious issue. Most likely the home situation is affecting her. I would get her some counselling pronto. I'm sure it's hard on her having her dad gone--even if he's the way he is, he's still her dad.

I know it's gotta be hard on you do manage everything on your own, but from what I remember, it wasn't like you got much help from your H when he was there..lol. In fact, I'd think it would be easier since you would have to deal with him less. What on earth do you argue about with him gone?

So, get off the couch, stay away from the drivethru, and fill your house with healthy foods and get rid of the junk. If it's not there, you can't eat it. You'll feel so much better about everything if you start eating better and exercising. Well it sounds like you are exercising, so that is WONDERFUL!! Good on ya for that.

Ok, girl. I know you are a strong one, and can do this. So hop to it!
You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to.

My dear, it's so great to have you back. I missed your enthusiasm.

I do have one question, what is KWIM?

Oh yeah, having the H gone is (God forgive me) nice. He makes more money, so I can get our affairs in order. I'm not being yelled at, told to leave, threatened with divorce, or denied affection. In fact, he's so worried about the future that he's encouraging me to pamper myself. When I asked him why, he simply said that each chance may be his last chance to tell me to spoil myself. Whoa. War changes people. It changes me, and I'm 6,000 miles away.

I know I need to get rid of the junk food. I bought those little 100 cal pack snacks, and I gorged on those yesterday. *shakes head* My will power took a left instead of a right. And the drive-thru was an act of desperation. I should have cooked, but my inner three year old said "I don't wanna."

My little girl is going to get some form of counseling. School will be out in 2 weeks, but I'm thinking of enlisting my pastor or a friend who is a guidance counselor. She cried this morning, over nothing. She screamed out, "I know that I'm an idiot," and just bawled. I let her cry, did her hair, then tickled her like crazy. The kid is breaking my heart. I try so hard. She'll be seven next month, and she gets more eccentric each year.

And, yes, I'm a strong woman, both physically and mentally. I'm an emotional wreck though. Can't have it all!

 

[imstarting2moro]

Hey there, a new day is upon us both. Challenges lie ahead of us but its what we make of them that shows our character. I have faith you will do the right thing.

When you think about doing the wrong thing just come on here for about 20-30 minutes and the cravings you have should pass. just dont look at the recipe forum good luck on your journey.

 

[SoSel]

Hey there, a new day is upon us both. Challenges lie ahead of us but its what we make of them that shows our character. I have faith you will do the right thing.

When you think about doing the wrong thing just come on here for about 20-30 minutes and the cravings you have should pass. just dont look at the recipe forum good luck on your journey.

Thanks for your faith in me! That'll get me through the day better than anything. It's a self-defeating "I guess I can" that slows things down.

LOL at the recipe forum crack! Yeah, I'll behave.

Good luck to you also.

 

[imstarting2moro]

Thanks for your faith in me! That'll get me through the day better than anything. It's a self-defeating "I guess I can" that slows things down.

LOL at the recipe forum crack! Yeah, I'll behave.

Good luck to you also.

I am serious about the recipe forum crack though. I start looking at it for ideas and start to become hungry. its like my weight loss forum cryptonyte.

 

[tinkerbella]

Hi

Just wanted to pop in and say hello and welcome back Im pretty new here and its great that people return to the forum, it obviously helps lots of people and i have have found so much great advice and encouragemnet here

I am a primary school teacher and have to say that it is really common for children to have lower grades when they are exeriencing emotional difficulties. I imagine that your daughter will be worried and will rob also be picking up on your feelings of sadness. Counselling is def a good option for her but perhaps her teacher would be able tohelp too? I know that if we have children who are having a diofficult time we have various options that the parents can try - extra tuition, support groups and play days being a few.

You seem to have an awful lot to cope with just now and it must be very difficult for you with your husband in Iraq. You are one brave, strong lady! I have to say that i agree with bikinibound and think that you are more than capable of fulfilling y our goals!!!!

I do hope that you succeed and i hope that your husband returns safely very soon

Allie x

 

[SoSel]

Just got back from the gym. 36 minutes on the elliptical skier. 2.5 miles and 350 calories burned! My breakfast was 360 cals, so I anticipate some hunger pains soon, lol! I kept my heart rate at about 160, which means (supposedly) cardio. I believe it. I was sweating like crazy, music blaring in my headphones, and a smile on my face. Only problem was my arthritic knees, they kept wanting to give out. We're anticipating storms later tonight and I can tell.

There is no better way to begin a day than this!

 

[SoSel]

Hi

Just wanted to pop in and say hello and welcome back Im pretty new here and its great that people return to the forum, it obviously helps lots of people and i have have found so much great advice and encouragemnet here

I am a primary school teacher and have to say that it is really common for children to have lower grades when they are exeriencing emotional difficulties. I imagine that your daughter will be worried and will rob also be picking up on your feelings of sadness. Counselling is def a good option for her but perhaps her teacher would be able tohelp too? I know that if we have children who are having a diofficult time we have various options that the parents can try - extra tuition, support groups and play days being a few.

You seem to have an awful lot to cope with just now and it must be very difficult for you with your husband in Iraq. You are one brave, strong lady! I have to say that i agree with bikinibound and think that you are more than capable of fulfilling y our goals!!!!

I do hope that you succeed and i hope that your husband returns safely very soon

Allie x

Thanks dear! And, oh yes, this place is amazing. I left for a while because I became overwhelmed with certain things that need to be kept behind me. Through no fault of the people here, of course.

As for my daughter's teacher, the poor lady is mystified. This is her 3rd year of teaching 1st grade, and she hasn't come across a kid like mine yet. She told me, confidentially, that my daughter is the smartest kid in her class. She consistently tests at 100's in all that she does. Then my daughter will space out, no do her work, and become apathetic. She doesn't care if she misses recess or gets her privileges taken away, at home or at school. This is nothing new. She has been like this since she began school. She's a day-dreamer with a wild side. Her eyes go all glazed sometimes. We've even taken her to the doctor over this, but no help. Stupid military health insurance. Less is more to them.

I look forward to chatting with you more. Thanks for your support!

 

[cinderelly]

Heya chicky - I agree with all of the above , you know you are strong and without him there ruining your self esteem you can totally do it, you were doing it before...Im actually glad he is gone, you need to take care of you and know your worth, you are such a cute little sweet heart!!!

I know my children are older but I have done both, Ive been in an abusive relationship and Ive done it on my own, I personally prefere on my own, works better for me and I can raise the girls the way I want to raise them and it is easier without an ass contridciting everythign I say and do...

I have really missed you sweetie and you know you can do it and will , you are doing it as we speak. The only thing tha tmakes it so hard is not feeling selfish for taking time for ourselves but the best gift we can give or kids is the gift or health and good positive role modeling!!!

WOW not bad for someone whi has been up working all night...

Im just happy to see you back hug2:

 

[cinderelly]

Just got back from the gym. 36 minutes on the elliptical skier. 2.5 miles and 350 calories burned! My breakfast was 360 cals, so I anticipate some hunger pains soon, lol! I kept my heart rate at about 160, which means (supposedly) cardio. I believe it. I was sweating like crazy, music blaring in my headphones, and a smile on my face. Only problem was my arthritic knees, they kept wanting to give out. We're anticipating storms later tonight and I can tell.

There is no better way to begin a day than this!

WAy to go CHicky!!!

 

[Judyb]

Judyb, I like the way you think! My soundtrack is at your disposal. Thanks for the first smile I've had all morning.

It's nice meeting you also. My birth name is Selena, so feel free to call me any derivative of that you find pleasing. Most of my friends call me Sel, and a few call me Ce-Ce (I think b/c I'm short and cute... lol!). My father wanted to name me Moonwalker, so there is another name I answer to.

I'm determined to make this day better, which is why I logged in first thing. Y'all keep me in line!

Moonwalker? Are you one of the Zappa kids? lol

I know what ya mean about this place keeping ya in line...it's why I read here every single day, even if I don't post.

 

[bikinibound]

My dear, it's so great to have you back. I missed your enthusiasm.

I do have one question, what is KWIM? Kinky Women Into Mankinis At least that was my guess when MsGhettoBooty used it. haha It really stands for Know What I Mean..lol

Oh yeah, having the H gone is (God forgive me) nice. He makes more money, so I can get our affairs in order. I'm not being yelled at, told to leave, threatened with divorce, or denied affection. In fact, he's so worried about the future that he's encouraging me to pamper myself. When I asked him why, he simply said that each chance may be his last chance to tell me to spoil myself. Whoa. War changes people. It changes me, and I'm 6,000 miles away.

I know I need to get rid of the junk food. I bought those little 100 cal pack snacks, and I gorged on those yesterday. *shakes head* My will power took a left instead of a right. And the drive-thru was an act of desperation. I should have cooked, but my inner three year old said "I don't wanna."

My little girl is going to get some form of counseling. School will be out in 2 weeks, but I'm thinking of enlisting my pastor or a friend who is a guidance counselor. She cried this morning, over nothing. She screamed out, "I know that I'm an idiot," and just bawled. I let her cry, did her hair, then tickled her like crazy. The kid is breaking my heart. I try so hard. She'll be seven next month, and she gets more eccentric each year.

And, yes, I'm a strong woman, both physically and mentally. I'm an emotional wreck though. Can't have it all!

Don't feel bad about H being gone--I'm glad he's gone, too. And I think when he comes back, a divorce is in order if he hasn't shaped up by then. He is NO good for you as he was last I heard about him. You do not need that in your life, and it's not good for your kids to be in that kind of environment either. I'm sure Cerella can help you out, as she has experience in getting rid of an asshole husband.

Definitely glad you're getting some professional help for dd. I'm sure she is worried about her dad.

Congrats on the good day! one day atta time.

 

[SoSel]

Thank you ladies for the encouragement. I'm surprised you still remember so much about the probs I had with the H. I don't know what the war is going to do to him this time, but I won't be spineless and hopeless when he gets back. I have a plan, I have money, and I'm damn sure getting restless. I'm living "the life." However, I'm not all that happy with the way things are. Why not ditch and start over? I've always been scared of change, but our cute little suburban home is so full of bad memories, I spend more time in the yard than in the house.

This is me on a typical night. I have a cigarette in one hand, a beer by the chair, a copy of some classic novel [i.e. Jayne Eyre, Les Miserables, Great Expectations] in the other hand. Everyone once in a while, I set it all aside, look into the night, and say "Is this as good as it gets?" I have a 3 bedroom house, an 03 Honda Civic, 2 kids, a dog, 2 cats, some fish, a trainer and a gym membership, and blah. All that stuff you THOUGHT mattered at 16 or 17. Now I'm 25 and I hate most of it.

I'm grumpy and unpredictable. I don't like to tell lies and mostly manage not to. I have a bit of a secret life. I go to church every Sunday and TRY to follow God's plan. I am responsible for so much that sometimes I even amaze myself. [[All single moms should have this burst of insight now and again to keep them going.]] Last semester, I took 13 credit hours, worked 16-18 hours a week as an English tutor, and did all the mom/housewife stuff while studying and nursing the fears we get when we are suddenly left behind, so to speak.

So, yeah, this is unrelated to weight loss. I went way off topic and basically posted a blog. Of course, my emotional well being may play a part in weight loss. Hmmm...

As always, I love you, my dears. Thanks for listening.

 

[bikinibound]

Girl--it does get better than that!! Much better--although sitting out reading a classic novel isn't so bad, just lose the nasty cig..lol.

As I've told you many times before, you DO deserve the best in life. It sounds as though you are working hard to get it. It's great that you're going to school and improving yourself, and becoming independent from H. I see no reason why you should stay with him as he is. It certainly is not healthy for you or your children. While he's gone it's a bit different, but when he comes back, if he is the same, or only slightly better, it's time to cut the cord and get on with your life. If not, you'll look back in 10 or 20yrs with a lot of regret. 25 is still young, and there are plenty of good men out there who will love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

DO NOT SETTLE!