Mowens's Diary

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Thanks Mike :) I've been around on here for fricking years - it's shamefulllll. Can always rely on my WLF buddies to kick my butt into gear though. Have a good day sweets an thanks for the welcome back x
 
Mowens1984 said:
I'm feeling at a bit of a crossroads at the moment. My weight this morning was 233.8. I'm allowing myself to get overly frustrated over small losses in weight even though I'm still making progress.

I've hovered at or above the 230s since I was about 20 years old (I'm 32 now). I've been slowly losing weight at this point -- well, I say that but I've still managed to lose 7lbs this month so far; but I really feel like the 220s will feel like a true accomplishment for me.

It'll be the first time I'll be around my high school weight and on track to be even fitter than I was then.

I'm also looking to make another big (at least for me) change to my diet. I'm going to cold turkey stop drinking diet soda. I've already cut out soda with calories and haven't had a single one since July, but now I'm also cutting out diet and drinking strictly water, flavored water and tea.

This isn't a big deal when I'm at home because I don't purchase drinks to have at my house, it's when I go out to eat that will be the struggle. I'm trying to add the motivation that saving a couple of bucks each time I eat out is a bonus considering money is tight.

So anywho, fingers crossed for discipline to stick to no soda at all and for getting into the 220s.
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Hi Mowens,

I hear you about the frustration. I went through lots of times like that." I am doing everything right- why the hell am I not losing"- I said that lots of times.

You are doing a great job. Remember what you have lost so far. You are going to go through times ( I think my longest plateau was a month) where you don't lose anything. It is frustrating as hell. Remember though that plateaus are what separates the ones that are going to meet their goal and maybe the ones that will give up. That is what kept me going. It is easy when you are losing 2-3 pounds a week to keep on the straight and narrow. It is when you maybe don't lose for a period of time that it becomes hard. I always try to keep the goal in focus.

I was also a diet pop drinker. I only drink water now. It was hard to begin with but now it is second nature to me. I don't really miss it. If I do go out and want something special- I order club soda with lime juice.

You have come a long, long way. You will be in the 220s before you know it!
 
Thank you cowboy, that really helps. I think I already know all of that, but venting it and getting reassurance makes it take hold in my mind.

I actually just re-read through the first couple of pages in my diary. It's funny how much whinier and pathetic I sounded when I started. It sounded like I was giving it 10% and frustrated at the results.

I think I feel like it's silly to complain about weight loss as being difficult. That isn't to say that I don't believe other people when they say it's hard. I believe them when they say it, but I don't really believe it when I say it. When I think of things that are difficult, I think of someone dying or suffering, or going through a nasty divorce. Managing not to shovel as much food as normal into my mouth doesn't really seem like it qualifies as something to complain about being "hard to do".

I don't feel like I've earned the right to complain. Does that make any sense?

I know things will pick back up and a month from now I'll be eyeing the 210s wondering why I was so stressed about getting into the 220s. I have no intention of quitting, not ever. I just sometimes wish the road wasn't so difficult.
 
Agree with all of that... Mike :) nice to have a name to go with the face. Also: 7 pounds lost in 4 weeks is something people pay large amounts of money for.
 
Mowens1984 said:
I don't feel like I've earned the right to complain. Does that make any sense?
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Yup, that makes sense.

I feel the same way at times. For instance, I have been on a running streak for 10 days now and my legs are absolutely killing me. My right knee hurts like hell, my left ankle is swollen (and feels sprained) and my left foot hurts in places I have never felt before. I'm tired, grumpy and want nothing more than to have a night where I say "to Hell with this" and stuff my fat face with unhealthy foods and cold drinks. In all sincerity, I am EXHAUSTED.

However, I don't feel like I have the right to complain about it. I mean, I did it to myself so I can't blame anybody else for my situation. I chose to eat and drink the things that made me fat, so I can't really bitch about it without sounding like an asshole. Plus, it's been a whole 10 DAYS. Who the hell am I to complain about a whole 10 DAYS of physical activity, you know? Like, whoopty shit - who cares, your knee hurts, your ankle's swollen, boo hoo, Chef - get over it.

Anyway, I know how you feel. I think it all ties in with some sort of deep-rooted self-loathing that a lot of us have. Sure, we all WANT to blame the world for our fatness and poor health, but we all know we CAN'T - we all know we did it to ourselves which, in turn, probably leads to feeling guilt when we start complaining about how hard we have it as we're trying to lose weight.
 
I think we all do it Mike. (Thanks Hana :) ) We all bitch & moan over very little & then feel guilty. We're mere mortals. Look on a plateau as your body adjusting to your new lower weight. If you can hold that weight & not gain it is a win/win. Then it will be ready to drop again. The longer you are doing this the better the chances of you keeping this weight off long-term. Your attitude has changed enormously since you started your diary. I haven't looked back on yours, but I had noticed. You are doing well! :D
 
Haha, I didn't realize people were waiting to find out my name. I would have freely shared it, I just never thought to do so. :p

I'm leaving work early today to go camping again this weekend with my dad. Same area as a couple of months ago. We're going to have water and electric hookups but no shower houses or electric this time, so it's a little closer to "real" camping. :D Gotta cook our meals over an open fire and all that jazz.

A lot of places have closed down for the upcoming winter, even though I think this is the best time of year for camping, 65 degree days, 50 degree nights, great for hiking. All of the insects have returned to hell, yadda yadda.

So I'll be gone for the next few days. Stay the course my chubby comrades. :grouphug:
 
We do have a tendency to think our problems aren't as big as some other people's and that can be true. I think with the way this world is going that we feel powerless in what we can do to make things better. So we complain about the 'littler' things as it is something we can control. If we have people in our lives that are suffering from some illness or other problems we look at our own lives and think our problems aren't as bad, which is true sometimes. They are still something we have to deal with- small or large.

Chef is right- most of us did do this to ourselves by overeating so we self blame . I think it time to take ownership of that and move on. Realize we are going to have good and bad days. We can feel as guilty as we have to, but ultimately it is up to us to make the changes so we are happier and healthier.

Enjoy the 2 pounds or 3 pounds or 5 pounds you lose this week. If you slip up - cut yourself a little slack ( but just a little-lol). Continue on the journey and hit your goal. I know you can do this and the people on this forum know you can do this.

Enjoy the camping trip. I love camping in the Fall.
 
Mowens1984 said:
A lot of places have closed down for the upcoming winter, even though I think this is the best time of year for camping, 65 degree days, 50 degree nights, great for hiking. All of the insects have returned to hell, yadda yadda.
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We got our first snow yesterday, so... fill in your own profanity here.

Mowens1984 said:
I actually just re-read through the first couple of pages in my diary. It's funny how much whinier and pathetic I sounded when I started. It sounded like I was giving it 10% and frustrated at the results.
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Yes, that's why I started my new diary, it was all "Oh well, I'll try again tomorrow!" then failing yet again. You've done great, though. One might even say that....
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...also camping with your dad sounds like quality time with the nice part of your family. Hope you have fun!
 
Howdy ya'll.

The camping trip went well. Weather stayed below 80 degrees every day with no rain. We were down there from Friday - Monday.


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This picture is from a 7 mile hike we did on Saturday. I managed to fall within the first hour and bloodied up my knee, then at about mile 5 my dad slipped on a rock and busted his face, shin and elbow. We were both dirty and bloody by the end but we made it! As we were driving off, search and rescue was headed in. We later learned a guy behind us on the trail had fallen 50ft off a cliff face (he survived) but it was a tough trail to be sure.

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Note my dad holding his traveling gnome Tommy again. :p This is a structure called Balanced Rock. It's all one formation. It's supposedly one of the largest of its kind in the eastern United States.

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We bumped into someone on this trail and got a picture together. I like doing these hiking trips with my dad because it's a good excuse to get pictures together. I don't really have that many so I'm stockpiling them. :D The leaves didn't change color that much this year but we've had a relatively dry summer so I wasn't surprised.

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We also went trick or treating last night around our neighborhood and went to a couple of church "Trunk or Treats" that they do. My little one was a mouse and my big girl wanted to be Michelangelo from Ninja Turtles.

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:eek: Glad to hear you both came away with no more than some bumps and scratches! Also: the pictures are awesome, as always. Your kids are so cute!
 
Fantastic Pics, Mowen. It is always nice to spend time with your Dad. You have such cute kids. Funny how things go around again. My 30 year old son when he was little, wanted to be a Ninja Turtle too!
 
Once when my now 20 year old son was like 4 or 5, my sister sent us a box of ninja turtle toys that my nephew had out grown. Ninja turtles had not yet made their resurgence then and were not on TV at the time. So we told him it was ninja turtle stuff. I go out in the driveway and he has a ninja turtle action figure laying there surrounded by toy ambulances, fire trucks and police cars. I ask him what he is doing and he says "Im playing injured turtle"
That still cracks me up.
 
Haha, good story, Brawny. It's funny sometimes what our kids think they hear us say.

She pronounces it "Teenay Ninja Ninja Turtles". She's watched all of the cartoon and live action movies (both the 90s live action and the 2 Michael Bay ones) but her favorite is the 1987 series, which makes me extra happy because that's what I grew up watching.

She also has about a dozen of my figures from when I was a kid and she plays with them all of the time. Mostly she asks me to do voices with them but she also does the stereotypical "girl" things with them like playing doctor and "daddy and baby" turtles.
 
It's great that you get to spend time with your Dad. Your photos are wonderful. Your kids are SOOO cute!
 
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