Today is my DAY ONE and I am really excited about it! I know that I can actually do this-- my health depends on it! This post is basically a repost of my first post in this forum, but I wanted a place to keep all of my entries together so I could see my progress better!
Okay, so I am 19 years old, and I am currently home from college for summer break (Go UNH!). I feel like I have been struggling with weight for a really long time now. I can distinctly remember the very first time I thought that I was getting chubby. I was sitting in my 8th grade math class, and I remember being alarmed as I looked down to find that my stomach was hanging over the top of my shorts. (!!!) "Oh, God" I thought. "NOT okay!" So that was probably the very beginning of my rocky relationship with food.
If you talk to any of my friends, they would probably tell you that I am the healthiest eater that they have ever seen. I guess that can be true for them to say, but that's only because I try REALLY hard to eat healthy in front of people, but when I'm alone at night, I feel like I can't eat enough. I binge and binge and binge some more. I stuff myself to the point that I feel sick to my stomach and I feel so defeated. I hate it. But I can't seem to stop. I have the worst relationship with food because its ALL I THINK ABOUT. I feel like I have an eating disorder (not anorexia or bulimia, that's for sure) but a disorder because I can't go five minutes without thinking about how my body doesn't feel right, or worrying about what I'm going to eat for the day, or beating myself up inside for eating a bowl of ice cream the night before. It just never ends.
But now I'm finally ready to get my life back together. I don't want to think about food every five seconds. I want to eat to live, not live to eat. I have so many more hobbies that I'd rather spend time doing rather than obsessing about food left and right!
I went on vacation last week with my friends who were a really terrible influence for me. We ate ice cream every single day, and snacked on chips all day. I came home and stepped on the scale to find the digital numbers slapping me in the face: 149.8 pounds. WHAT WAS I DOING?! This is NOT ME. I preach to my friends the importance of eating tons of fruits and veggies and taking care of your bodies. When did I turn into such a hypocrite?? My goal weight is 120 pounds, if possible. I want to start to get results before I head back to school in September because I want to start the year off with incredible confidence and I want all my school friends to all be proud of my transformation.
I've tried to start so many diets in the past, but I haven't had enough motivation to follow through long enough to really see results. I hope that this community will really help to support me, and I would love to hear anyone's input! And I send out my best wishes to everyone here trying to fight for their own goal. WE CAN DO IT!
Okay, so I am 19 years old, and I am currently home from college for summer break (Go UNH!). I feel like I have been struggling with weight for a really long time now. I can distinctly remember the very first time I thought that I was getting chubby. I was sitting in my 8th grade math class, and I remember being alarmed as I looked down to find that my stomach was hanging over the top of my shorts. (!!!) "Oh, God" I thought. "NOT okay!" So that was probably the very beginning of my rocky relationship with food.
If you talk to any of my friends, they would probably tell you that I am the healthiest eater that they have ever seen. I guess that can be true for them to say, but that's only because I try REALLY hard to eat healthy in front of people, but when I'm alone at night, I feel like I can't eat enough. I binge and binge and binge some more. I stuff myself to the point that I feel sick to my stomach and I feel so defeated. I hate it. But I can't seem to stop. I have the worst relationship with food because its ALL I THINK ABOUT. I feel like I have an eating disorder (not anorexia or bulimia, that's for sure) but a disorder because I can't go five minutes without thinking about how my body doesn't feel right, or worrying about what I'm going to eat for the day, or beating myself up inside for eating a bowl of ice cream the night before. It just never ends.
But now I'm finally ready to get my life back together. I don't want to think about food every five seconds. I want to eat to live, not live to eat. I have so many more hobbies that I'd rather spend time doing rather than obsessing about food left and right!
I went on vacation last week with my friends who were a really terrible influence for me. We ate ice cream every single day, and snacked on chips all day. I came home and stepped on the scale to find the digital numbers slapping me in the face: 149.8 pounds. WHAT WAS I DOING?! This is NOT ME. I preach to my friends the importance of eating tons of fruits and veggies and taking care of your bodies. When did I turn into such a hypocrite?? My goal weight is 120 pounds, if possible. I want to start to get results before I head back to school in September because I want to start the year off with incredible confidence and I want all my school friends to all be proud of my transformation.
I've tried to start so many diets in the past, but I haven't had enough motivation to follow through long enough to really see results. I hope that this community will really help to support me, and I would love to hear anyone's input! And I send out my best wishes to everyone here trying to fight for their own goal. WE CAN DO IT!