Marsia's Diary

I'm sorry your mom is having health problems but I think you're right: you can't fundamentally change her so the best thing's probably so focus on making the time she has count.
 
Hi Marsia what age is your mum ? I'm in agreement with LaMa your mum won't change at this stage . Keep yourself and her happy at this stage .

I too agree with a lot of all the other stuff you said . I am a few years behind you and cate but I came to this realisation a little while ago due to different experiences with people happening to me . I have had to stand up to people on different occasions and it's not easy but I am not a doormat . Also I too need to experience more and make the rest of my life count . The one thing that is hard though is making new friends . I think I have a made an excellent one in the last year but it is hard . I'm inclined to think most are good acquaintances rather than friends . My close friends are scattered around the world . Shame we all don't live near each other lol !
 
Hi! I really agree it's hard to make new friends. I think it's easier when you have more confidence in yourself. I used to have a lot more and made friends more easily. Like Cate said about being more open - it seems to be easier if you are feeling good about yourself and so don't care what other people think about you. I agree though about openness being key. I have nice acquaintances and people I am really close to in other cities. It would be great if we could all open a portal and get together for tea a few times a month!

I experimented with having beans and a little bit of papaya, both on the do not eat list, and I gained about 4 pounds, but luckily they came right back off. I think I will just find a way to make low carb work for me, and when I am at the goal weight, I can eat other foods once in a while and just fast more to compensate. The papaya was wonderful, though!

Since I decided to do more stuff for myself, I got happy and got 18,000+ steps of work done and did nice breaks for myself yesterday. Dug in the garden a little today, deep holes for putting in mature plants and found a little funny old bottle dump at the bottom of a hole. I love building walls and digging, and now looking out the dining room window, I have a lot of the ferns and moss from the garage roof in and it looks lush and inviting. Makes me really happy. It doesn't seem to be so much about what I do, as that I am doing it for myself. It's like I am claiming my energy as my own, and then when I do the routine stuff, it is part of a bigger picture of getting things the way I want them and taking lovely restorative breaks in between. And I am working toward having quality time to myself instead of spending so much time avoiding doing things.
 
Thanks Petal! It's fun experimenting with what makes me happy!! I guess that's a big difference, is an attitude of experimentation - it's been helping a lot! Hope you have a really nice day!!
 
Since I decided to do more stuff for myself, I got happy and got 18,000+ steps of work done and did nice breaks for myself yesterday. Dug in the garden a little today, deep holes for putting in mature plants and found a little funny old bottle dump at the bottom of a hole. I love building walls and digging, and now looking out the dining room window, I have a lot of the ferns and moss from the garage roof in and it looks lush and inviting. Makes me really happy. It doesn't seem to be so much about what I do, as that I am doing it for myself. It's like I am claiming my energy as my own, and then when I do the routine stuff, it is part of a bigger picture of getting things the way I want them and taking lovely restorative breaks in between. And I am working toward having quality time to myself instead of spending so much time avoiding doing things.
Gardening or just doing stuff outside is so rewarding & therapeutic. "Claiming our energy as our own". I love that! We all need to take good care of ourselves & I think we are getting better at it, xoxo
 
Thanks Cate! I agree - it's so wonderful to all encourage each other to do better for ourselves, and I do think it's working!

Found buried treasure today. Out of one of the holes I dug in the garden I got an intact light aqua bottle with raised lettering that says, "F. BROWN'S ESS OF JAMAICA GINGER PHILADA" on it. Looked it up and it is pre-1870's. Came in for some water and a little break, and will go back to digging and should have the plants I want in this week done by the end of today finally! Then on to making the house nice for company coming just before Christmas, but definitely some more "me" projects tucked in here and there!
 
What a find! I am going to find some time for some "me" projects too. It is so important for us all xo
 
Wow Marsia what will you do with the bottle . I remember when we were kids my dad borrowed a metal detector we had the best fun ever with it .

I'm thinking as I mentioned before I need a project one I can handle . I'm worried I'll take one on and get overwhelmed. I think it's going to be in the garden . A little veg patch then I think I'll take on more of the garden maintenance myself . I love being outdoors so it's probably the way to go .

You girls really encourage me .
 
If I only get an herb garden and a greens bed in this year, I will be happy. I just really want to get started and get it all planned out. I agree, Petal, being outside is so wonderful, and it doesn't feel like making yourself exercise being out in nature. It's the nature/nurture thing all in one!

I think I will take the bottle and tilt it on it's side because the writing is right side up that way. Then I'll have my kid make some origami flowers for it that go sideways and put them on my bookshelf in my room. A metal detector in kids' hands sounds like you all had a blast! The day before I found the bottle, I found old bits of crockery and an old rusty spoon that you would use camping in another hole, but it was wedged in roots, so I left it at the bottom of the hole. It's probably an old bottle dump there, and there may be more treasures in there at the bottom of the beds somewhere. But I am through digging huge holes in that garden, so I'll probably never know. It's just fun to think about there being more treasure under all the ferns.
 
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I agree that being outside is wonderful and is the nature/nurture all in one. I think it's easy these days to be lost in the world, instead of being more connected & earthed. I think it's a lovely thought that there may be treasure everywhere in life. We don't need to actually find it, but it's a nice thought that it is there.
 
I think it's a lovely thought that there may be treasure everywhere in life. We don't need to actually find it, but it's a nice thought that it is there.
Love everything you said, especially not needing to find the treasure, just knowing that it's there! That's beautiful!
 
We borrowed a metal detector once as well: found a ton of lead bullets from when Napoleon's troops were camping in that field and even some coins.
 
Wow, that must have been so fun! We used to try to find Native American arrow heads in the creeks. Mostly got cool trilobite fossils instead!
 
My brother in law and his girlfriend are coming for a visit a couple of days before Christmas, so I am frantically trying to get the house nice, as they moved the arrival date up a bit. I am really looking forward to them coming. They are both so happy and positive and fun, and both artists. So I may not be on the forum much for a little while, but my well wishes go with everyone!!!
 
Sounds like a lot of fun! Enjoy your family time.
 
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