Marsia's Diary
- Thread starter Marsia
- Start date
Well done on getting the weight back down, that's a great achievement.
I understand about all the beads now. Lol! We have so much stuff in my parents' house, in one room in particular, and I really want to do a purge during the summer. I'm not sentimental about things really. I have a few nice items that were given to me as gifts and I love certain books I have that I would keep, but other than that, if I ever have my own home, I will try not to have loads of stuff gathering.
I understand about all the beads now. Lol! We have so much stuff in my parents' house, in one room in particular, and I really want to do a purge during the summer. I'm not sentimental about things really. I have a few nice items that were given to me as gifts and I love certain books I have that I would keep, but other than that, if I ever have my own home, I will try not to have loads of stuff gathering.
Cate
Long term member
I think I would struggle to sell the beads too. Like, Llama I love sorting out tiny treasures. It's very therapeutic. I could see K getting benefit from doing that.
Oh, well done!
Most people I know lose weight when they're stressed, but like you I stress eat. It's time I weighed myself again. I'm happiest when I don't know
It's so hard Llama. My mom had endless treasures, and though I got rid of 3/4ths of her stuff, the 1/4th I kept is still crazy amounts of treasures. Moving will not be fun, but then unpacking and enjoying will be really fun. I love your idea of a bead "sand painting". I bet I could put a glass light shade that is smaller inside a larger one and have beads sandwiched between them in layers of color that glow when you turn on the lamp.
It's been so nice having cool, stormy weather (and having tea while watching storms is the best!) It's good for painting so that I can open the windows without being hit with hot humid air, too. We are figuring out how to paint the 2 story stairwell where the ceiling is 25 feet (7.62 meters) above our head, and we think we'll get a box cutter and cut out a section of the ceiling paint and bring it to the store to match. That way when we use a long pole to paint the high walls, it's ok if the paint goes on the ceiling. We tried a really tall ladder, and the ladder is bouncy and scary even when you are just near the bottom of it. We were too afraid to climb it very high. So there is no way we would get a clean nice line between the wall color and the ceiling while on a bouncy ladder, and while being terrified of falling into the stairway. The pole is 12 feet long, and looks like we can reach everything pretty well from the sides of the stair railing.Nice work on getting a good start on the painting. I love the sound of watching the storms go by outside the window with cups of tea in hand. Sounds cozy
Thanks Em - it's nice I am getting better at choosing comfort food that is healthy and not very fattening. You are so lucky that you aren't so sentimental as we are. When I moved here by myself to fix up the house before all our stuff got here, I came with very little, and it was a really freeing feeling having very little stuff. I may retire abroad some day and hope to feel that again. It was so nice.
Tiny treasures are so soothing to sort through! It's nice getting the most obvious things done for the house. I feel so much better now that we're painting and there is instant gratification, unlike working on the yard where every storm leaves a mess of dead branches and thirty million pinecones behind and the weeds and lawn grow diabolically fast. If I don't weigh myself, I always think I've lost weight just as I've gained a lot, so I have to check often or my weight can zoom up crazy amounts. It's really maddening being a stress eater!!! I am learning to stress eat a little of something really fulfilling like full fat vanilla yogurt that fills me up and is really satisfying, but I don't need a lot. It really helps for getting through the really stressful times, but I do just want to eat way less in general when not so stressed.I think I would struggle to sell the beads too. Like, Llama I love sorting out tiny treasures. It's very therapeutic. I could see K getting benefit from doing that.
Most people I know lose weight when they're stressed, but like you I stress eat. It's time I weighed myself again. I'm happiest when I don't know
Yesterday was a relax at home day because I wanted to give my frozen shoulder a break. We did oatmeal and honey facial masks and watched a fun kids movie we love called Nim's Island and talked a lot and I got info from the realtor and analyzed that and generally organized to talk to my lawyers. It looks as if we'll be ok if J doesn't cooperate!
Sounds like a lovely, well-deserved day of relaxation.
That would be wonderful! I bet you'd be able to sell them nicely, too, if you ever need a little side income. Charge more than you think you should. At least what you'd pay for the materials today, plus work hours, plus prep, clean, and packaging.
Oh, congratulations, that would be SUCH a relief!
Thanks Llama, I really enjoyed it! I like the idea of selling lighting, and it's nice you have faith that I could sell them for a good amount. It's really good that the house will sell for a decent amount, but in talking with the lawyers today, I really got it how we have to get J to see reason and settle in mediation or there is another process of suing him yet again. Sigh. But if I do have to sue him, he will be up to his eyeballs in lawyer's fees because of everything he did wrong. There's no telling what he'll do though.
I think we will hire a handyman if we can't get everything painted from the upper balcony area. The ladder is definitely not an option. I would not go on it fully extended with both hands on the rungs, never mind with a roller and long pole in one hand! I'm glad I had the rest day. Talking with the lawyers today completely frazzled me. It was a productive meeting, but so complicated and so not the way I would have thought the law works.
Good idea about buying paint that will match the ceiling so you don't have to be so exact. And then, yes, hiring the handyman if you can't do all of it safely. I'm glad you are taking days to just relax and have some fun together. Those are so necessary to have so you don't burn out.
Thanks everyone! I am feeling more recovered from the lawyer meeting. We took a couple of days off to do paperwork for college and things and to go swimming at the beach and relax. K has been going out with friends and to band practice a lot, so she needed to catch up on sleep from the late night fun. She actually went with her band to visit this music genius who lives far away. He helped K fix her guitar and also showed her a lot of stuff about recording and mixing music and had the band improvise a song and helped the drummer with complex rhythms. I love that K has music mentors. The band is people in their early 20s, so it's like she has older siblings looking out for her. I love how supportive musicians are to each other!
I feel like I need to start doing things for myself. I am fixing up the house for us, but I also mean just doing little fun things that make me happy. I think I need to finish the screen porch so I can put veggies in there. I looked at the tomatoes growing out of the compost, and they have little fruits on them. There is also a big pumpkin, which is amazing, because most of the little ones fall off once they form. I am slacking on meditation and yoga and I need to get back to these being a regular practice, and I want to just do things to feel comfortable nurturing myself. It's just such a taboo in my family, and I need to break it so I can learn to relax and enjoy life a lot more. I think once I do that, losing weight will be a lot easier, too. I view taking care of myself as another chore, but I want to view it as enjoying life and appreciating what I have been given in life.
I feel like I need to start doing things for myself. I am fixing up the house for us, but I also mean just doing little fun things that make me happy. I think I need to finish the screen porch so I can put veggies in there. I looked at the tomatoes growing out of the compost, and they have little fruits on them. There is also a big pumpkin, which is amazing, because most of the little ones fall off once they form. I am slacking on meditation and yoga and I need to get back to these being a regular practice, and I want to just do things to feel comfortable nurturing myself. It's just such a taboo in my family, and I need to break it so I can learn to relax and enjoy life a lot more. I think once I do that, losing weight will be a lot easier, too. I view taking care of myself as another chore, but I want to view it as enjoying life and appreciating what I have been given in life.
I imagine, too, that moms in general would have an especially hard time remembering how to do things just for themselves again. As K has more time away with friends and maybe moves onto college next year, it will probably feel very strange to slowly remember how to live your life with less care-giving responsibilities...I hope you can embrace that even if it does feel odd at first.
I do really love that K is finding so much joy and inspiration and support in her music. That is awesome to hear!
I do really love that K is finding so much joy and inspiration and support in her music. That is awesome to hear!
That's tough if relaxing and enjoying yourself weren't promoted as worthwhile activities to you when you were growing up. They're worthwhile! I watched a really lovely video earlier of an older couple and one of them made the remark, 'We're human beings, not human doings.' I thought that was cool.
Cate
Long term member
Yes, K is comfortable with doing her own thing. I think this skipped a generation. My grandparents and I are both like this where if all our work isn't done, it's hard to relax, except they had a subsistence farm, so they couldn't procrastinate getting their work done like I do. So I end up not getting anywhere near what I want done, and I don't do as many fun things. When I was young I was a Cinderella. My dad had a really bad childhood and was violent and controlling, and my mom was a hoarder and weird, so I wound up doing the housework they were supposed to be doing instead of getting to go hang out with friends. My mom gave me a curfew of 7pm in high school, and usually my homework and chores weren't done by then, so it was really just perpetually being grounded. So it's extra awful I wound up with a controlling husband because I really thought I had escaped that from my childhood. I absolutely have to learn not to help people who do not deserve my help. It's a bad vice. Also I am now viewing the work I need to do as helping myself. Like painting the house will ensure that the house sells for a reasonable amount, so it is very important, and I am doing well making it a huge priority and getting it done as quickly as possible. I am in this weird limbo now where the house may need to be put on the market at any time, or I may be here until winter. So I will experiment more with doing nice things for myself, but I am also trying to make sure we get out of here soon. I do want to take K sketching here, so will definitely make that a priority, and I want to bring the stand up paddle boards out and explore the littler streams that don't have massive, scary currents.
I think you're right Liza. I love being a mom so much, and it's hard to let that go and go back to being a single person who does those things mostly for myself again. I like your perspective of easing back into that. It's wonderful how much K loves the community of being in a band!
It's weird, my parents were hippie slackers, but they both raised me with a perfectionistic work ethic. I love the idea of concentrating on being. It's a big teaching in Buddhism that I love. I can do it a lot better on the meditation cushion than in life, but I do really try to practice savoring life and appreciating things, and lately I have tried extending that to myself. I feel grateful for my life and for being alive, and for getting to sense all these pleasant and lovely things like being in nature. It really helps me with self compassion, too. There are so many good teachings on being and doing both being so important to honor in equal measure. I really want to study that more. Anyway, I had a hard, weird childhood that I thought I was over, but I now realize I need another round to conquer! I think adversity is a good thing in moderation. It builds resilience. I just wish there was a bit more moderation to mine! I think that will come though.
Thanks Cate, I think part of it is that I am pretty future-oriented. I think about the long term goals and forget to make little happenings for myself along the way that are memorable and fun. I do think I really want to sketch and get out the paddle boards and explore the vast waterways around here!
The last few days were really productive. The dining room got a second coat of paint and looks great. The overly bright blue bathroom is prepped and taped. We found a good gluten free banana bread recipe and happily ate a bunch, and weight is down a little, and I don't feel like snacking or even thinking much about food. We're eating pretty well with a lot more veggies in our diet this week. Also painting seems to help my frozen shoulder and it can lift upward a bit more now.
Last edited:
For good or for bad: our childhoods never fully leave us. But it's lovely that K didn't inherit this particular trait (because you didn't make her; good for you!) so maybe you can observe and learn a bit. About the house: I understand what you mean. Can you chop the work into lots of self-contained little projects where no matter how things go you only ever need to finish that one little project before sale? Like more time is good but a surprise cut-off won't send you into a stress spiral like it did with the sale of your old house. Plus in between the small jobs there's always time for a rest!
That all sounds great. Always so nice to look back on a paint job-always makes such a difference and it's nice that it's one of those jobs that doesn't get messed up right away (like your yard work that can get undone with a storm!) Good to hear your shoulder is feeling a bit better.