Madharri123's BALLOON diary! 100lbs to lose!

heya,
just wanted to say thanks for stopping by my diary. i'm thinking i may not be able to post anymore till after the holidays. i'm not sure when your procedure is scheduled for but just in case i'm still not around by then just wanted to wish you all the best. i'll definitely catch up with you in the new year HAPPY HOLIDAYS :seeya: xoxo
 
Day 6 of Stage 1

What I had today:
Prawn mayo sandwich 6
Crisps 2
Ready meal 6
Muller lite 1
Raspberries 1
Blueberries 1
2 bits of mistletoe chocolate 3
Readymeal 6
Broccoli

Absolutely fine diet-wise. Got stuck in the snow tonight which was stressful and had a reasonably crap day at work - my ignorant "boss" trying to make a point but not being man enough to do so openly or appropriately. Passive-aggresive meets passive-aggresive! I think I need to remind myself sometimes that I couldn't care less about this job. I took it because it allows me the freedom to live a lifestyle which enables me to lose weight. In just over 2 weeks they'll be paying me while I fly to Prague.

Was a bit stupid having the chocolate as I wasn't really hungry and I would probably have preferred a packet of crisps anyway, but even if I'd saved it for a bloomin Muller lite and fruit - I'm getting pretty BORED of that as predicted.

My crazy news was that when I stood on my scales this morning they said I weighed under 15 st 9 which would mean that I have lost 10 lbs in 5 days which is completely nuts!!!! But I trust the scales as they are the absolute dog's. I was pretty dehydrated as I reckon I only drank a quarter of my 2 litre target and I had my incredibly grown up supper of 2 chocolate biscuits very early and went to bed so I suspect that I'll weigh a couple of pounds more tomorrow and certainly on Monday morning I will after what I'm going to eat.

I was expecting to be round at my folks' house last night but they'd forgotten to tell me they were going to a friend's party. Mum asked if I wanted to go but I automatically said no as I am so ashamed about how I look! To me - and I know other people may not be the same - I'm ashamed because what it screams out is "my life is not going very well and I am unhappy" and you only have to look at smug facebook updates to see that noone really wants to admit to that - I'm not alone there. Also - greed is a deeply unfashionable affliction, especially for women. It used to be virginity that was prized in women and now that that particular horse has well and trully bolted from the stable of modern society - it's been replaced with thinness. Women (more than men, as always) are seen to be better if they are seen to deny themselves food instead of to deny themselves sex. Waffle over - but how unfair! Don't know why that little thought poppped its head up now.

Anyhoo my plan for tomorrow:

2 bread 2
2 eggs 2
Banana 2
Raisins 1

Sandwich 6

Dinner 14 + 10 saved = 24

1/2 fried camembert portion 8
Lamb shank 8
1/2 sticky toffee pudding + ice-cream 6
Glass of wine 2

Reckon I'm going to be 15 st 11 (221) come Monday morning when I weigh after my first full week of stage 1 which will be 8 lbs down and allows me to lose 1.5 lbs a week for the next 2 weeks to achieve my revised goal of achieving 15st 8 or 11 lbs weightloss (crossing off my 1st 2 5lb chunks [10%]. If it wasn't for Xmas and New year I would be going for 15st 3 = 213 lbs - 16 lb weight loss (15% gone) - but obviously I am aiming for that.

I am so pleased I didn't just eat myself to oblivion before i had this balloon - it's going to mean I have more confidence than I would have done. I'm still so tempted to not have this balloon - although I've only stuck to this for 5 days - and I'm not going to keep these incredibly long monologues of absolute rubbish up at all times. I've been on here sso much this week that I have seen NO TV - which is unheard of. Mental note for self: I'm obviously happy as long as I'm sat on my (fat) arse looking at a screen - not bothered what type of screen!

NEXT WEEK -
go swimming (heart still not in it though)
Increase water intake to 2.5 litres
AIM for 15 st 6
Incorporate 4 pieces of fruit and veg
VARIATIONS of meals + fruit and veg

Will think of examples and isea tomorrow.
 
Hi - i am having mine done on the 14th of januray as all the doctor in sydney are on holiday till then - Have you told any one about it .. I am keeping in quite cause i find that the world can be very judgemental about this type of thing. I am scared my family will try to talk me out if it. Are you excited to start your new life i soooooo am ...
 
Hi LLL!

I have not told a soul - not even my parents or closest friends. If I had a partner I think I would have to tell them - but I don't so I guess that's an upside to being single!

You're right about the judgemental thing. I'm not telling anyone because it's nobody's business but mine when it comes to my body! I don't feel that I have to explain how awful I feel right now about my body, or justify the expense (it's my money) or put up with the endless "how's it going"s. Also - there's a very good chance I'll feel very ill for a while after it's fitted and I don't want to have to cope with anyone else's worries or fears but my own when that's going on or I suspect the "it can't be good for you"s or even worse the "I told you so"s.

And yes - I'm exactly the same - I can't wait! Somehow the fact that I've got to this stage has even made me manage to stick to a diet and lose weight already! OK - it's only been a week but it's weight that I'll already have lost when the balloon's in. Normally - I'd be bingeing for Britain in the run up to a diet.

Have you thought about a plan at all yet? As you'll see if you read my diary (there is a LOT of waffle - apologies) I have made a plan of where I want to be and I think I'll continue to post daily what I eat and the exercise I do when I finally manage to engage my lazy backside into gear and actually DO some!

What's your situation? How much do you weigh and how much are you wanting to lose? Is your job the sort that you can still do if you're feeling nauseous for a time? Do you live alone? Have you been told to do anything in particular to prepare for the procedure? (I haven't). I'm guessing we'll be communicating a lot especially after the 6th of Jan when I'm due back from Prague and some details about your situation would help me build up a picture.

Harriet xxx
 
OK - just got back from my Christmas meal. It was fine. I had:
starter - gave half to someone else and had a bit of herr bread + mushrooms
main - had about half of the veg and potatoes and maybe 2 thirds of the shank
pudding - had about 3 quarters
Wine- - one "small" glass
so - pretty happy with that

During the day I had:
Banana 2
Toast 2
Egg 2
Chicken stew ready meal 5
Potatoes 2
So that was 13 - what I'd saved during the week and my meal would have been a whole day's worth of points I reckon.

All in all - very happy with how I did - although should have left more of the pudding - ah well - next time!

That being said - I feel quite bloated and heavy in the stomach as once again - had hardly any water (1 piddly glass at lunch) and 2 diet cokes at dinner. Well we'll see what the scales tell me. At the start of the week I was 16 st 5 - I hope to be no more than 15 st 12 - that will be half a stone.

Off to have a LONG sleep now - absolutely knackered.

xxx
 
Day 8 of Stage 1

The scales tell me that I'm just under 15st 11 so that's 8 lbs in one week - can't complain as my original plan was 6 lbs in 3 weeks!

Start weight = 16st 5 start of stage 1
1st 5% (6) = 15 st 13 [ pyjamas ]
[GCSE german book]
2nd 10% = 15 st 8 = start of stage 2 [ car valet ]
[ balloon ]
3rd 15% = 15 st 3 [ Jewellery mending ]
[duvet day]

So: Stage 1 is DONE with - going to try and buy my PJs today - also going to go and buy my lounge carpet today and book my MOT. Working from 4pm to 2am today. Really hope the roads don't give the same shit as they did last week - think I might be hoping for a bit much! xxx

My next goal is 15st 8 which is only 3 lbs: that would be absolutely fine - if XMas wasn't part of the deal. Think there's a really good chance I'll make it by Xmas day and then the same thing will happen as this week - I'll do it and then go up the scales again. I will only weigh on Thursday am and Monday morning this week.

This weeks aims:
1-water = 2.5 litres
2-fruit+veg = 5 portions
3-no exercise (not exactly tough on myself am I?)
4- sleep - 8 hrs (probably had 6 the last few nights)
5- 27 points a day

Plan for the day:

100g grapes 1
2 lge eggs 4
2 bread 2
Readymeal 6
Broccoli
Ready meal 6
2 muller lites 3
Raspberries 1
Blueberries 2

It's a bit scary that there's no room for any extras at all!

As I've gone down into the next stone - I need to adjust my daily points allowance - to 27 now. I'll aim for 25 for all the days except XMas - meaning I'm allowed 25 everyday but 37 on XMas day.
 
I am here at work until 2am! It is completely uninterrupted time to do everything a good emplyee wouldn't dream of - read magazines, surf the net etc and I'm not bored - but I AM hungry and I've started to feel really tired. But everytime I start to think "well maybe a bite of something wouldn't hurt" I imagine how pissed off I'll feel tomorrow. I still have a litre of water to get through - hopefully that will keep me sane until I get home and get into bed where I can't pick.

I JUST LOVE THIS FORUM! Somehow it helps to make me more accountable. I'm going to plan tomorrow and then I might have to give in and have something as I am proper hungry - not bored or needing-comfort hungry.

2 eggs 4
2 bread 2
Ready meal 6
Broccoli
Ready meal 6
Muller lite 1
blueberries 1
5 left - think I need a little break from my muller lite + fruit combo twice
Sandwich
 
Day 9 of Stage 1

Well I managed to stay strong and ate nothing last night - didn't get a chance to eat anything until midday today as I had an early MOT appointment and had to sit there for 3 hours while they dicked about and still couldn't fix what needed to be done. Needless to say I overate when I did finally eat (but in a measured way - if one can be measured while overeating!).

Right - time to record what I've had:

3 eggs 6
3 toast 3
200g grapes 2
Ready meal 6
Muller lite 1
Blueberries 1

and at 11 pm - I think I'll have another readymeal as I'm working until 2am again - hopefully avoiding the ridiculous situation of last night - don't know how I managed to resist eating last night - definitely what caused my headache that lasted most of the day.

Confession time! I have had some chocolate buttons - workmate bought a BIG bag and I had a couple - more than a couple of times! Reckon it was 3 points worth - VERY annoyed with myself but realising it's not the end of the world and therefore not going to succumb to a binge as I am not the "all or nothing" person that I was before. Aiming to cut back tomorrow. I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that XMas day is going to be a beast pointswise - but also XMas eve and probably Boxing Day to some extent. What I can promise myself is that I will drink 3 litres of water on these days and have a breakfast of All bran - and otherwise just have a taste of sweet things - and not sweat it because IT'S CHRISTMAS!

God - I'm feeling weirdly in control at the moment and I'm just not sure about this balloon anymore. I haven't yet paid my deposit - maybe I should put it off for a month? I'll sleep on it but I guess the answer is obvious - Don't do it if you have any reservations.

Tomorrow's plan:

2 eggs 3
2 bread 2
Ready meal 6
2 muller lite 3
Blueberries 2
Ready meal 6

Sounds good to me. I intend to weigh myself tomorrow to see how I'm doing and then on Monday.
 
Hey doll... you are doing so well!

The way I see it is... there is no such thing as a successful diet... the ONLY way that we can loose weight is to adjust our lifestyle... this means simply... eat less and move more...

The concept of the balloon is a great one to show you quick results which, in turn, motivate you and show you that it is actually possible to lose weight (which, when we are fat we don't seem to believe this is possible)... it really looks to me like you have realised that you can lose weight and, are, in fact doing that very thing!!

I don't say that you mustn't get the balloon... what I am saying is that you will have to change your lifestyle... balloon or no balloon... and it looks like you are doing just that!!

Maybe think about delaying it for a while and see if you can maintain what you are doing??

Keep it up!!! You will be looking fantastic in no time!
 
Foncused gave excellent advice and i do agree with everything said but I have just had a completely awful couple of days. I'm actually quite pleased as it has just in the nick of time reminded me of what a useless lump of crap I am and why I need this bloody balloon - so I can't physically do what I have just done to myself!

Gritting my teeth and not showing how much I'm hating yet another xmas - feeling so uncomfortable - making sure i laugh at all the right moments. All i think is - not long now.

Not much point checking in for the next few days - will start posting again on day 13 Sunday - will only be a week away then! If that doesn't work I really don't know what i'll do - reckon the only way for me to achieve the right weight will be about 3 months after I'm dead. Bad joke - but life does not seem much fun right now. Nevermind: onwards - always onwards xxx
 
madharri123 said:
Hi LLL!

I have not told a soul - not even my parents or closest friends. If I had a partner I think I would have to tell them - but I don't so I guess that's an upside to being single!





Hi Harriet,

Glad to see that you are doing so well - you are the first person to reply to me this is so exciting - You are so close to getting it done - All the best of luck

Its like the minute i booked it in time just started to gooooo soooooo slow .. I want to be over the first few days off hell that every one talks about ....


You are right i totally hate i told you so's .. So i am sticking with not telling anyone .. i will tell my boyfriend after i am feeling better.. If he loves me he will understand...

As far as a plan goes i will be using a web site called calorie king to count all my calories and exercise- all i am going to do is make sure that i burn more than what i eat , i am not going to push my self to much at the beginning just light walking... Then as i start to feel better i will take it up a notch .. You should have a look at calorie king it is awesome and i think they have a 21 day free trial ..

I am 26 & i have a bmi of around 30 i hope to lose around 25 kilos which i know is not much - but i feel like i am living a half life not a full one ...

This needs to happen. Tell me more about you ? Do you have lots to lose > so you feel confident ?
I wish you all the best of luck ... please keep me updated ...
Click to expand...
 
Day 16 of Stage 1

OK - I'm back! I am too frightened of weighing myself as I don't think I can handle the news that I'm over 16 stone again! So will be sticking to points and the rules as before the "festivities" and see how I go. It's one week yesterday and I really can't wait to get myself sorted out and not in this sorry state anymore. It's Tuesday - maybe I'll wait and weigh in on Saturday am and hope to be in the 15st 13 or below ballpark.

Really got to tidy my place up before I leave as I'll be feeling poorly when I get back and coming back to a flat that looks like a crack-den might send me over the edge!

When I think what a waste of time doing the diet before this hiccup - I must remind myself that 1- it's shown me that I CAN lose weight the old fashioned way and 2 - imagine what state I'd be in if I hadn't done it at all?!

Laters xxx
 
Hi. I just looked through your diary -- good observation about thinness replacing virginity as the modern day gold-standard for female desirability. It's been a while since I read it, but I think Orbach's Fat Is A Femist Issue makes a similar argument. Whatever you decide about the balloon, I wish you the best of luck. I also agree with you about this forum being a great place -- it was the turning point in my weight loss journey.
 
It's time!

Hi Want2Lose and LLL! Apologies for stealing Susie Orbach's ideas - must have heard it being discussed!

Oh dear god! I am leaving for Prague in 9 hours! I have, rather embarrassingly managed to put ALL the weight I lost back on and an extra 2 lbs! And by my standards I haven't even been bingeing or going too crazy - (not snacking etc but admittedly mainly eating crap). Imagine the state I'd be in if I hadn't done anything?

I am a little bit nervous - but mainly - I CAN'T WAIT to get this done! Wish me luck - Ill be home late on Wed 6th so if all goes well - I'll be posting on Thursday! xxx
 
STAGE 2 - 98lbs to go!

Hi guys - thanks so much for the sweet messages!

The procedure went well and I am now a ballooner! It has been a nightmare getting back to blighty with all the problems the white stuff has caused - but got back in the end.

For those looking for information on where to have it done - I would really recommend Prague Beauty. The clinic was spotless, the nursing staff were really lovely, my surgeon was great and the actual procedure is just a bit of a blur now. Any questions - I'm happy to answer.

I have not been sick once (!) but that's no fun to talk about so I'll list the side effects I AM suffering from! Actually - they're very minor: I am rather constipated which is making me feel very bloated, and I have these weird stomach cramps (nothing like period pain as much higher up) that can be really quite painful and sometimes, even worse, remind me of intense hunger pangs but I think they're improving.

I need to really start being very regimented as I don't want to waste any of my balloon time. I have about a month's worth of Lighterlife sachets so have decided to use those for the next month and see how I get on - but not get all stressed and worried if I swap a meal for real food once in a while.

I have lost 6 lbs this week (16st 8 down to 16st 2) which'll do me- so 7 stone exactly to lose (a mere 98 lbs). As that does seem quite a depressingly insurmountable amount of weight to lose - I need a mini goal to work towards: 14st 7 is probably a good one as that is 25 lbs down from my SUPPOSED TO BE starting weight and therefore quarter of the way through. (13st 13 is a third and 12st 10 is halfway).

So: I am 16st 2 and aim to be 14st 7 (a loss of 23 lbs) by the beginning of February. Actually that sounds absolutely nuts - but I've been invited to a party in late Feb (27th) and I would really like to be 13st 13 (a loss of 31 lbs) by then. That equates to 46 days to lose 31 lbs [4.5 lbs average a week] - which is doable if you stick to lighterlife properly - let's hope this balloon makes that a real possibility. So I want to be 15st 11 by next Sunday, and 15st 13 by this Thursday.

In an effort to lessen the boring drivel I've been spouting - I will sign-in on Thursday with a weight update - aiming for 15st 13.

Have a good one people! xxx
 
90 lbs to go - 10% there!

Hi LLL!

I'm fine thanks - how's it going for you?! You must be about a week in by now! Feeling good?

I am now 15 stone 8 so have lost a stone (officially 10 lbs). I am feeling so fine that if I hadn't been present during the procedure I wouldn't know that I had a bloody big balloon in my stomach! I have had NO side effects at all which is actually a bit of a bummer because I had hoped this would turn my appetite into that of a sparrow, but it's actually been really hard losing this weight. Been using up the LighterLife sachets that I still have (with the occasional bit of protein when I get really bored with it all).

I know this is not really doing the right thing which would be just having smaller portions to slowly and naturally lose the weight - but I am so fat that I just need a bloody fast head start - just want to get to 12 stone 9 first (JUST 3 stone!)

Will check in soon.
 
87 lbs to go - 13% there!

15 st 5 today - (215 lbs). Looking forward to getting to 20% (14st 12) and then 199 lbs (14st 3) - it just seems like such a long way away. Gotta keep going.

Anyhoo - as I said a couple of posts to ago - 14s 7 is my 25% mark and that is my official mini-goal - and that is less than a stone away! When I reach that goal - I am going to have to change my focus as the rest of this weight challenge seems insurmountable at the moment - so I will join a gym and set a fitness goal to try and take my mind off the weight for a little while.

I might make it a SWIM challenge - something like being able to swim non-stop for an hour (15 mins would kill me right now) or being able to RUN one mile (that is pretty unrealistic at the moment with my back and knees - think I'll do that one after I've achieved the 50% mark of 12st 10 - but will make it harder than that - say 5km) or maybe I should do a calorie based GYM challenge - where I try to hit a calorie target using the stepper, x-trainer, rower and bike (start with 100 and get up to 500).

The GYM and SWIM solutions sound really good. They would help me in several ways:

1 - I have been a complete recluse since the procedure. All I do is watch TV, go to work, come home and watch TV. This keeps life very safe and stable so that I can stick to my shakes and soups, but it's not mentally healthy: having something else to focus on would be really good for me.

2 - While I have been watching TV I've been SMOKING! Smoking like a chimney. I've simply swapped one addictive behaviour (food) for another (smoking). The fact that I don't need to smoke while I'm away from my home proves that I am not actually addicted to the nicotine - it's just something to do. From previous experience I know that doing regular exercise helps me to stop smoking.

3 - I would lose this crazy amount of weight faster.

For the next 6 weeks or so (just like the last six weeks) I don't have to leave for work until 2pm. The gym would be a great way to start the day and get some energy into my life. 6 weeks is the perfect amount of time to set a fitness challenge and do the work to achieve it. I'm going to join this week and start the challenge on Sunday!

I know that the worst part of starting exercise again is the 1st 2 times - but then energy levels start to change and then it's just a question of good old-fashioned will power (not my strongest point!) to keep going and trying not to let the mirrors demotivate me. If I use the fitness goal to solely focus on and not how crap I still look - or even what I weigh then there's a chance I can make the next 6 weeks go faster and hopefully make really good headway into the 2nd 25% of my wieghtloss project/mission.

The way I see it the 4 phases of my weightloss goes like this:

1st - 16st 8 to 14st 7 - the worst part. I achieve it and I'm still horribly fat and in pain and can't fit into any decent clothes. Not much payoff. But at least it's only 12 lbs away.

2nd - 14st 7 to 12 st 10 - still really hard. I only start to feel human in the last half stone or so. Difficult to stay motivated and weightloss slows dramatically.

3rd - 12st 10 to 10st 13 - new territory. I haven't been lower than 12st 5 for about a decade. Have to fight a major doubt: 1) that my body can actually lose this weight. Is it actually possible and do I really want it? After all - why have I never gone further than this before? What is it that has kept me subconciously wanting to be this weight, so that I sabotage myself whenever I get here? And I've been here MANY times! Just not lately.

4th - 10st 13 to 9 st 2 - back to really hard again. I'll be feeling much much better - better than I have in ages - about 13 years. I might have a lot of skin to cope with and it would be really easy to settle and not bother to finish - after all - that's what I do in every area of my life. I think a major shift in focus would have to happen here. Serious exercise is going to be necessary and I'll be at the stage where I can't rely on shakes any more.

Anyway - excuse my LONG musings - at least I've remotivated myself!

Have a wonderful wonderful day to anyone that read any of this! xxx
 
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