Losing Weight in the Land of Chocolate and Cheese!

I'll miss you :( Don't forget me when your goooone, sob.

Your family are all so wonderfully supportive. You are really lucky. It must've been really hard to tell them. It was a lovely setting to have your chat in.

So is it all official and confirmed now? Damn it, I liked it being uncomfirmed and undenied :D

YOU DIDN'T FEEL LEFT OUT!!!! That's pretty epic :D Specially considering how much you love cheese. Well done! :hurray:

Who is going to be in charge of cooking while you are away? Do you think you'll be able to get everyone to eat what your eating?

What do mulberries taste like?

I really am going to miss yoooooou. Have a great time xxx
 
Hi DM
Thank you for your kind words. It was such a good read that i felt i had to read it all. You should be a writer ;) tee hee!
And you didn't moan all the time! What i noticed more than anything is the hang ups and mental issues about food were so bang on with how i am. It made me feel better that i wasn't going mad and that it is probably quite a normal thing just no one usually talks about it.

Have a great week hun.
 
AWWW You GUYS! I feel like I'm going to be away for a year! :( Will miss you and all your support! But every time I go and grab a brie baguette (oh who am I kidding - it'd be roquefort, or some other stinky stinky blue fromage;)) - that's right, me and my cheese - and think about washing it down with a creme brulee, I'll be thinking about you mob over here. And all those 'tut tut tuts' I'd be getting. :D

Cate I told my mum about you and she said that is EXACTLY the feeling she has here! Not that she wants to change anything, or 'fix up' things, but just that she is the mum, and she's with her 'baby', so she should be the one making me cups of tea! hehe. But it's going really well. Hope my dad and I don't throttle each other after a week stuck in a campervan together... we'll see. We have always clashed a little - everyone says we are too alike. We both have the stubborn gene.

Rainbow mulberries are yum! They are a lot like blackberries, I think. Sweet, very dark, no tang or anything. I like ones that have a bit of tang more - raspberries, red currents, etc. And yeah, sorry, did I not say 'not that I'm confirming or denying anything' at the end of that last post? My bad. I ruined all of that building of suspense I'd been working so hard at! ;) OH, and my mum and I are both cooking, but mum is also very healthy. it's the snacks that are the killers, so I'm going to the shops tomorrow before we leave to try to find some healthy snacks for me to eat when everyone else is gorging on crap.

Katie-hot-buns I think that's what I love so much about being on a forum - when I joined, I felt so screwed up and alone in my strange relationship with food. But then you realise other people are like you and battle with the same weird stuff that we often can't explain. And then sometimes you read something someone wrote where they actually manage to explain that thing that you've never managed to put into words, and it can be quite the epiphany. You are going so well already, gorgeous. And you have got the motivation to keep it going! At least for a week, anyway, until I can get back here and check up on ya ;)

______________
FOOD TODAY (feel like I'm going well, considering!)
- Breakfast: Special K with 10 red currents and 70ml skim milk
- Lunch: sauteed veggies (capsicum, onion, mushroom, zucchini, tomato) in morroccan spices, with a whole-meal pita and 30g cottage cheese
- Snack: small chunk of blue cheese (it was in the fridge. GR)
- Dinner: (went out - their choice - italian) veal saltimbocca (3 pieces came, I had 1.5) with a little risotto on the side (I had less than half) and a little green salad.

No dessert, no drinks, no baaaad snacks... I'm doing ok, I think. Gotta keep it up! And everyone is being good and not making a big deal out of it. :)
 
Hi DM!

I believe it was Ruthie who referred me to you! I have also had a tendon injury and having a tough time getting back to normal over the last 2 years.

I'll be running through your diary when I get the chance!

Looks like you and your hubby are having such a blast cycling all over the place.

Enjoy your trip!
 
Hi Ken, Hi Shadow - thanks for stopping by! Sorry I don't have a chance to write to you right now, but I will when I return! We are just leaving for the train in twenty minutes... YAY!

Just thought I'd say that, seeing as I can't do my weigh-in on Wednesday, I did it this morning and I was...

drum-roll....

83.2kg. :D AWESOME!!!! Gotta keep that up for the next few days :) :) :)
 
83.2 is AMAZING girly!!!!!

Ooooh, I've referred Ken! I feel like a doctor, which doesn't happen very often.

Hope your having a great time. I miss you :( Sending loads of stay-on-track vibes through cyberspace x
 
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:D I'm Baaa-aaack!
Thanks for the referral, doctor Ruthie! :) :) :)

Damn, your massive good-eating-vibe-sending-power (did you do a dance too?) really worked! I did AWESOME!

I MISSED YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!
Truly I did. I needed you! Of course I needed you - I was spending a week travelling through france with my parents... who are wonderful, but they are 'on holiday', which means they can eat whatever crazy shit they want. And buy oodles of every good looking fattening thing around, then eat it all in front of me... which is what they SHOULD be doing on their holiday! So good on them! But bloody hell it was tough...
I am SO proud of myself though. I did SO well. Well... I think so, anyway. Looking forward to stepping on the scales tomorrow morning and seeing the damage... :)

Things I'm happy about:
- An AUSSIE WON THE TOUR DE FRANCE! When we were there! Freaking awesome.
- ALL of my snacks were healthy. While everyone else ate french patisserie goodies like creme brulee cups, croissants, those pastry snails, raspberry tarts, etc, I just had fruit. That's right, fruit. (I'm looking at you, Rainbow.) Usually a peach. Sometimes I'd have a few olives. Most of the time I had nothing and just drank a cup of tea.
- I tried to make healthy choices for all my dinners. We went out for dinner most nights, and everyone had creamy cheesy buttery french things or pizza... I was willing to pay a bit more but get a grilled steak or chicken breast with veggies,etc.
- I managed to avoid white bread (think baguettes with brie) as much as possible. I made myself veggie soup and had it with my wholewheat crackers while others had bread and butter... much better for me!
- I had CEREAL (special K with skim milk) for breakfast EVERY FREAKING DAY. with my cup of Ecco (like a chicory coffee substitute that I really like, it turns out!). Not white bread with cheese. Not a thousand croissants and twelve coffees. Not a single muffin in sight.
- Still alcohol free! For... about two months now. Insanity. And managed to stay strong :)
- My man and I are starting the real business tonight. WEEE!!!! Too much info, I know. but YAY! We are both totally happy. :) :) :)

I feel so great that I resisted all that temptation. AND my man keeps saying how skinny I'm looking, and keeps picking me up and spinning me round, saying how light I am :) He's a keeper.

Looking forward to getting back to my forum!
 
OMG how bloody amazing are you?!?!?!
I have never ever managed to go on holiday and be even a little bit good!! that is such an achievement hun, you should be mega proud of yourself.
Your holiday sounded awesome too, you sound all relaxed and happy. I have really missed you, even though i have only been on here for a few weeks, you guys are now a massive part of my life. You're like my online sisters!!! (sisters are doing it for themselves!!)

Again, well done you!!!
 
Your post made me SMILE!! Awww, Im so proud of you!! You stayed strong even other people were eating all the fatty stuff front of you!! :hurray:

And your husband is so sweet telling you those words! When my bf says something like that to me, it means a lot to me.. And boosts also my self-confidence! :)
 
:iagree: Well bloody done!!!!!!!!! You are unstoppable! Can't wait to see what your weight is tomorrow :)

I am SO happy your back. As we are both weirdo's who talk to the computer, I will fess up to shouting "Joh, your back!" at you!

I saw that an Australian had won it and I was chuffed for you :hurray: And English boy Tim won the best sprinter and got the green jersey :) Hooray for Australia and England!

No dance... its all you this time lol.

I love being picked up and spinned around:D I remember when me and my bf first got together he did that in a big and busy supermarket. His arms were holding round my thighs so I could see over the top of the shelves :)

And your womb could become populated this very night! Get off the computer and make love, NOW, I insist! Apparently doing it upside down helps :rolleyes:
 
Welcome back, DM!

And yes, all of Oz is celebrating Cadel's win.

But here on the forum we are celebrating your win over all the temptacious food. ;) Go you! I hope you and your man are...um....er... enjoying yourselves! As the Americans say, I am rooting for you! (With my husband's generous help... )
 
Joh, You are Amaaaaazing!!!!! Well done you!!!! Your LH is truly a keeper too. It will be lovely to meet you both one day, along with your little baby cyclist. Lots and lots of love to you, xoxoxo Cate.
Still cheering Cadel!!! Well done Cadel!!! Wee Hoo!!!!!!
 
WOW thanks cheer squad! :D

Tetem Thanks! yes, the trip was wonderful :) There was only the very occasional desire to throttle my father, but that's to be expected ;) I think we were both really quite nervous about how we'd go trapped in the same vehicle for a week. But with mum and my man there as mediators and tense-moment-zappers, it all worked out really well.

Katie hehe you make me laugh. It's funny how connected a forum can make you feel, huh? I feel so stupid talking to my mum about these anonymous people who I don't know at all, but sometimes feel like I know SO WELL... I love it. And yeah, I am realllly proud of myself! I was really annoyed the last night because I had a Lanugage-Fail in understanding the menu, and when I thought I was getting a grilled pork fillet, I actually got a pork roll thing stuffed with bacon and cheese and deep fried. I nearly cried. But I did have a teeny weeny bit and then just ate the veg it came with. So that was my low moment, whihc is still pretty good :) Thanks for being so supportive!

Eerika I know! How nice it is to get compliments from the people that mean the most to us :) And yeah, it really does motivate me and give me confidence that I'm looking great!

Rainbow Well I can't wait to see what I weigh today too! Unfortunately my parents are still asleep in the living room and I can't do my wii fit until they wake up. I'm itching to do it! I don't know if I actually would have lost very much, but as least I hope I don't gain. I FEEEEL skinnier :)
And yeah, I did get straight off the computer. And we did. Three freaking times. Wiggedy. ;)

Mrs Shadow hehehe I love the image of ME on the front of the paper surrounded by croissants and the headline 'Joh says NO!' instead of Cadel and his yellow jersey, hehe. And hahahahahaha I love that you guys were rooting for us! ;)

And finally to the lovely Cate wow, it's incredible to me that YOU think I'm amaaaazing! You are! :) And if this possible future baby comes out of me with a bicycle, you'll be the first to know. LOL. Tassie and you are definitely on my bucket list, my dear. And you know Zurich is always here for you. xx
 
So I have been wanting to write a thousand times but I just never get a chance with my parents here! They aren't computer users at all, and it's hard to get a moment alone. So my updates will be a bit sporadic for the next week or so! Which I hate...

WEIGH DAY! 82.9kg, people. That's RIGHT! 82 point something! I realised just then that I plateaued around 85.9, and that the difference between my plateau weight and now is the same as the difference between now and me being SEVENTY SOMETHING! :) But... not if I get preggers :)

Spent the whole day yesterday doing my personal walking tour of Zurich, taking my parents to my favourite swiss cafes, expe3riencing real swiss food, the old town, etc. Of course a lot of insane food consumption is involved... but again, I did pretty good! I did have a little rose-flavoured macaroon while they both had huge swiss cakes and pastries and hot chocolate things... So I still feel like I'm going pretty well.

Next week, though, my Dad goes home and my mum and I are headed for Florence for four days to do a Tuscan Cooking Course. AWESOME! But bad for the diet ;) Actually, it might not be too bad. I just won't eat too much (which I don't find difficult if I am cooking all day, strangely enough) and just enjoy little tastes of everything.

YESTERDAY'S FOOD (no time to do my cals, AGAIN grrR)
Breakfast: Special k with skim milk and 6 blueberries
Snack: 1 rose macaroon with a small milk coffee
Lunch: 1/2 of a slice (yes really) of Dad's Swiss Flammkuchen (like very very thin pita bread with sour cream spread, bacon and onion - baked like a pizza) - not really lunch. My bad.
Snack: Small apple juice with 6 green olives
Dinner: 2 grilled chicken tenderloins with lemon marinade, green salad and 1/4 cup of cooked pasta with a teeny bit of pesto stirred through
Snack: 2 pieces dark chocolate (whoops)
 
Un-food related rant

Meanwhile.... I'm very shitty at my dad, but aware that I don't want to fight with him while he is here. He is the world expert at making me feel bad. I haven't seen him for six months, since I last visited australia, but even then I saw them for dinner a couple of times - I wasn't staying at their place. So now he has an intimate look at all the goings on in my life, he feels he has the right to comment, advise and criticise. He thinks that my learning of German here is ridiculous and that I am not using my time in Europe wisely. I am wasting too much time with my writing when I should be exploring and learning more about the culture (but not learning the language... that's wasteful). There's only so much of that you can do, and I had travel burnout about a year ago. My style of cooking doesn't match the wines that he wants to buy, which is apparently very 'disappointing' for him. I make too much asian food. My attitudes to not wanting to drink are 'totally extremist, like a religious fundamentalist' apparently. He keeps making me feel very bad about that, even though we have told them of our baby plans. He thinks it is ridiculous to not have a drink if you are pregnant, and this is evidence of my 'totally black and white' brain.

The thing I hate is that he feels everything he says about me is mere 'observation', and not criticism. If I comment on it, like yesterday when I told him to 'just leave it' after he's spent a week talking about me not drinking, then he doesn't understand why I am so sensitive. He's just telling the truth.

It makes me realise that all the angst and stress I felt as a teenager actually was not just teenage feelings, but was just in response to my dad. I still have the same feelings now, even as a grown up. :) I had thought that I was just being a stupid impatient teenager, but no. I think my mum worries about me when dad is like this. She can see it, and she sees how it affects me, and she knows how much it churns me up. It just makes me feel so inadequate, and like everything I am doing is wrong. Boo.

I just wrote the title for this horrific post as 'un-food-related rant' but I realise that this feeling I get is very similar to the kinds of feelings that make me fall back into an eating disorder. That lack of control and self-loathing... But don't worry, I'm all good. Just a bit of a realisation, that's all.
 
Hi DM - I know i knew your proper name before but i can't remember it now. Please remind me.

I haven't read your 9 page book yet. I figure i might as well read and respond to a few last posts because its going to take me forever to catch up with whole threads over the last 2 months.

Anyhow, so i read your last two posts. Sounds like you are still on your track and losing losing so excellent. Well done girl!

The dad thing. I'm sorry you are going through that. I am sorry that even now you still brought down by your dad's criticism. Wtih my mother i jsut get angry. Getting angry is so much better for you than getting depressed by their attacks. The problem with your father is that he lacks empathy. I am often a bit like this myself and may even behave the same way in some situations. But most of the time i am aware that is should be holding back my comments. Its very hard for me to do this becuase i think the person needs to know. LIke tonight i wanted to tell my sister that they way she uses red wine in her cooking is not good. She isn't cooking for me and i wouldn't criticise her food straight after having eaten it if she was. But i feel she should stop using the red wine and her recipes would be better, or even better. But i know deep down i am in the wrong. I don't know if you father has this insight.

The thing is, if you understand this - which you might already, then maybe you let it wash over you more easily. But getting angry is also good because it protects you emotionally. ITs better if you can just brush it off but its hard to do that with parents and family. Its a lot easier to brush off criticisms from people who don't know you well at all. I mean why you should care about what Mr stranger thinks of you and what you do but of course you do care about what you dad thinks of you and what you do. If you could learn to care less it would help, i believe. A lot of people are able to put such criticism down to THE OTHER PERSON'S FOIBLES and not take it on. That's what you need to learn to do too. But to make this leap in being able to do this, i am not sure if one can be told and instantly make the adjustment. It has to come from somewhere quite deep i believe and this can be hard, time consuming, subtle to bring about. If you've had any sort of therapy you may understand what i mean about that.

Anyway, at least going off with your mother sounds great and i hope you enjoy those cooking classes in Florence. I would laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarve to do that. I am so envious of you. I hope you won't deprive yourself too much. If i was on one, i think i would enjoy it but just not make a pig of myself and if i put on a few pounds, maybe its worth it if you can learn a lot of useful things and have a great time while you are at it.

Anyway, i best be off right now.
Love love love
Andrea

Thanks for keeping up with me whilst i was away too.
 
Aw, Andrea, you are the best. Thanks so much for taking the time and for putting in the brain effort necessary to write such a response to my rant. (it's Joh, by the way :))

You're so right about everything, and I wish that I could just let comments brush off me like you say, but I have never been able to do that. One little comment from even a stranger, about anything at all, will sit in my gut and fester and fester away for months. And you are right about my dad's motives, and perhaps you are a little bit the same. It makes it really difficult, though, because I really do love him and I understand that he is trying to help. I understand that he is just telling the truth, which is why it often hurts so much. I understnad why he becomes so frustrated with me, but all of that just makes me feel more inadequate.

I always worry (to a ridiculous level) what people think of me, and how my actions might hurt people around me. So when I feel that everything I do might make my dad feel as though he isn't proud of me, or might make him disappointed in the way he brought me up, it makes me so so sad. And so filled with angst. Because I know that I am a really great person, actually, so I wish he could see that too.

Enough. I feel like I'm fifteen again.

______________
FOOOOOD
Today not so good. Not soooo terrible, but not so good. I took my folks to my favourite pancake place for lunch and I splurged and had my crepe with cheese. Which I haven't done for months. And we are all going to a traditional swiss restaurant tonight, so that will be fifty thousand calories in cheese. MMmmmm cheeeeeese.

I heard a rumour that too much cheese gives you nightmares. hmmm...
 
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