Losing Myself, At least 40 lbs Anyway

Hey there,
Just wanted to stop in and say hello to you. Im glad that you are starting to feel better. Im just about over my cold too..thank goodness.
Michelle :)
 
How do you cook the spagetti squash and where do you get it? That DOES sound yummy.

I share the same philosophy as Jess regarding the eating. Basically try to eat healthy yourself and have them eat what you eat. But I know I like my treats sometimes so I'll give my baby a bite here and there. I agree that if you completely limit the junkfood it becomes even more of a desired item as they get older.
 
Blancita said:
How do you cook the spagetti squash and where do you get it? That DOES sound yummy.QUOTE]

Hi Blancita,
Spaghetti squash is super easy to cook. You can cut it in half, take out the seeds and place it cut side down in a baking dish with about 1/2 cup water. Cover with plastic wrap or a microwave lid. Cook it on high for aprox 5 - 7 minutes (outside should be fork tender) Then use a fork to pull the strands of squash (which of course look like spaghetti...lol) gently into a bowl. That's how I do it, but of course there could be a bunch of different ways im sure. You can get it at most grocery stores or veggie stands with all of the different squashes.
I hope its ok that i answered in here..lol
Have a great day
Michelle :)
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Hi everyone, sorry I missed updating last night!

Here's what yesterday looked like:

Fiber: 24/25g
Protein: 85/100g
Veg/Fruit: 6/7 servings
Cals: 1362/1200 cals

I didn't end up going to the gym though I did run around with my fiance yesterday.

Spaghetti squash is pretty readily available in most supermarkets now. and you prepare it just as brazenlysasse described. It can take the place angel hair in most recipes.

I'm headed to a wine tasting with my girlfriends tonight. I would assume that I'll drink around 2-3 glasses of wine. That's probably going to be about 222 calories out of my day.
 
Ok, here was yesterday's intake. It was the highest intake of the month and I've decided it's because the wine lowered my inhibitions. That and free gourmet cheeses... oh my will power, where have you gone?

Fiber: 17/25g (ouch)
Protein: 87/100g (double ouch)
Veg/fruit: 7/7 (w00t!)
Cals: 1429/1200 (boo!)

Anyhow, I'm kind of back on track today.
 
Ok, I have a quick rant. I was actually reading this article on msn.com about how you should write everyday to get everything that's stressing you out off your mind so it doesn't lead to emotional eating. I don't really like to complain a lot about things that I can do something about, generally I just like to address them, but I think my head is going to explode.

First, I am so pissed off at my fiance. He's a great guy, don't get me wrong, but he has seriously been getting on my nerves being nit picky with me, overly sensitive and ludicrously ungrateful. 2 months ago him and his flaky friends decided they would get together every Saturday night to play this board game. It's pretty nerdy so I won't get into it, but I basically said fine, whatever. I of course was slightly miffed that he would commit the next I don't know how many Saturdays (which are the only real weekend day in my mind) to hanging out with his boys without even consulting me. I mean, couldn't they have taken a Friday or something? Anyway, I also partially didn't care because his friends are notoriously flaky and they've actually only gotten together 2 Saturdays out of the past 2 months. So whatever.

His best friend, who is not part of this Saturday group, had his birthday last Friday in Hollywood and we didn't end up going because I was deathly ill. I like this best friend a lot, unlike his other friends (who are all kind of dead beat guys, some of them trust fund babies, who don't really have manners and are kind of destructive bar guys). His best friend is a lot like him. College educated, getting his graduate degree, great job, financially successful, well mannered, etc. So I felt really bad we didn't go to his birthday.

I have a gallery opening on Saturday (I used to go to openings pretty often but pretty much stopped going after getting with my fiance because we would always have other plans on Saturdays) and I was really excited about it. I asked my fiance if he wanted to go and he agreed (I now know it's because he forgot about his standing Saturday appointment), and I offered to have his best friend come along and then take him out to dinner and drinks afterwards to make up for not going to his birthday party. He invited his friend and he was overjoyed.

This morning my fiance realized that he had double booked himself (which I don't even know why he's making a big deal, odds are his flaky friends weren't going to be getting together tomorrow night anyway) and started to blame it on me. Of course I got PISSED and said "Why is it my problem that you can't keep your own appointments?" He basically said he wasn't blaming me, but it was pretty apparent because he was upset that I had invited him out on a Saturday when I knew about his existing Saturday plans. After he realizes he's absolutely wrong he says "It's fine, I'll just tell them it's for my friend's birthday and invite them out too. I'm sure they'll love the free drinks at the opening."

Of course at this point I am LIVID. I wouldn't invite those guys (who I don't dislike or anything, in fact I think they're fun guys but I'm fully aware of their limitations) to a gallery opening! I mean, I actually want to be able to go back to this venue, it is one of the foremost acclaimed galleries in Orange County, do I really want to be blacklisted because he invites his friends who will obviously only be going to the show for free drinks?! Of course not! And where does he get off inviting his friends to MY event anyway? When we go out to Hermosa Beach and go bar hopping with his friends, I don't invite my friends unless specifically asked. Of course I tell him all of this and then he acts like I'm wrong by rejecting his simple request to bring his friends.

AUGH!!!

Ok, I'm a big fan of the 7 habits, and I understand that I have a choice in how to react to this. Of course I do. I can't control how incredibly inconsiderate a man can be sometimes, but I can control how I react. I'm sure there's also some way for me to change my behavior so that he'll naturally want to be less of a butthole, I'm going to have to think about this.

Now that I've completely vented, I'm going to go ahead and send him a well thought out email. One that doesn't involve calling him and inconsiderate self centered butthole. Wish me luck.
 
Awe, you deserve to splurge ! You've been so good! Yeah, alcohol has a bad affect on my weight loss. For me its the next day-- I crave greasy breakfast!!
 
lanadefemme said:
Ok, I'm a big fan of the 7 habits, and I understand that I have a choice in how to react to this. Of course I do. I can't control how incredibly inconsiderate a man can be sometimes, but I can control how I react. I'm sure there's also some way for me to change my behavior so that he'll naturally want to be less of a butthole, I'm going to have to think about this.
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Ugh. I can totally relate. Most of my boyfriends friends act like the guys from Jackass. The last time Dax wennt to Portland to visit some of his friends he came back with a broken collarbone cause they got wasted and were purposly throwing themselves down a flight of stairs! I was pissed! Then I was the bad guy cause he was hurt and I was annoyed.

I've gotten better at how I react to things though. I agree if you are careful how you phrase things and react, boys will be less defensive. I also try really hard not to nag him. Honestly at this point, compared to alot of his friends wives/girlfriends, I'm pretty laid back. He finally realizes that!

What are the 7 habits?

I would be bummed in your situation too. It sort of turns the whole situation into something different than you intended.
 
Ok, so my fiance called me to apologize for being a butt before I even got a chance to send him the email. And then we get in another fight last night. I did some serious emotional eating. So I'm going to write again today in hopes that talking it out will prevent further emotional eating.

I'm trying to figure out exactly what's happening. So let me track back to the beginning. Lately, I've been miffed at him because he's just so irritable. Though to be honest, I don't know if it's just him being irritable or it's me being irritable because I'm going through some crazy things at work. But I guess it doesn't matter in the end because there are probably loads of things I'm pissed about right now. So here's my pissed off list:

1. Our place is a mess. Not a horrendous mess, but way messier than I would like it. I don't expect him to constantly be cleaning or anything. And he does do the basic cleaning like laundry and the dishes and what not. But seriously I'm obviously working more often than he is, the least he could do is pick up some of the slack. Reasonably, I suppose he doesn't have the actual ability to put away everything but that's because he refuses to learn.

Do I have an unrealistic sense of cleanliness? I mean, yeah, I expect the kitchen to be spotless if you're going to claim to clean it. I mean, don't just do the dishes and then leave the sink area a mess. Don't just clear off the counter and not wipe it down. I'm not even asking for him to steam clean like I do, just freaking make sure it's actually clean. Going through the cleaning motions?! What the hell is the point if I'm just going to have to clean it again anyway. I'm not his mother!

I am going to go home before I head out for the gallery opening tonight and clean the whole place up. Then I'm going to sit down and explain to him he needs to freaking help me out.

2. How about a little more kindness. Granted, I should probably work on this too. Being stressed out and irritable doesn't help, but you know, if you see your significant other working her a$$ off, how about a little more kindness and sensitivity. It might just save you from having your head bit off.

But really, I think that as my patience wears thin, so does his. This is not a winning combination. I'll try and be a little more understanding and kind, once I get over this vicious anger. It's probably time for a run.

3. How about spending less times with hobbies. What the hell is it with men and hobbies?! I mean, I have my hobbies which basically include cooking, running, reading and achieving a high level of productivity. I don't know why my fiance needs a freaking world of hobbies that include but are not limited more video games than time is allotted to play, a ham radio, an extensive cigar collecting addiction and for some asinine reason pipe collecting. You're a 20 something year old man for god sake, not Colonel Saunders!

Why do I care why he spends his time? Because I really don't have that much time so how about making keeping our place clean, helping me out, and spending some quality time between my hectic work schedule with me instead of in front of a computer trying to figure out what the next rare cigar you're going to buy is?!

Maybe it's time to set up date nights. One or two nights a week dedicated to just spending time together. Then, the rest of the time, as long as other obligations are met, can be spent however we want and we'll both just have to live with that.

So in short, after work, which I will hopefully be done with today by around 4pm, I'm going to go home, clean up the place as best I can, then come up with a chore type chart, go for my workout tomorrow morning, try and be nicer and then set up date nights.

I feel better.
 
Ok, so yesterday I spent the night helping my friends move into their new place. I'm busy at work today so I figured I'd do my helping the day before when I had time. I probably burned around 373 calories spending a good hour moving things up and down.

Thank god I did because I ended up breaking the caloric bank with my emotional eating and a couple of celebratory drinks at their new place.

Fiber: 13/25g
Protein: 67/100g
Veg/Fruit: 4/7
Cals: 1552/1200

Augh. I'm sure I also overate because I didn't get my fiber and protein in. Today is probably not going to be a great day either since I'll probably have some drinks at the gallery.

I did start the day by making these amazing apple whole wheat pancakes. Half the batter was made from grated apple. I'm assuming each pancake was around 100 calories and I had one plus 3 slices of turkey bacon and then an orange. I'm feeling pretty full and it's already lunch time.

I am also adding a 2.2 liter of water goal. I normally do drink quite a bit of water but I have started to miss the mark so I'm going to start measuring that goal also.
 
boys...boys...boys...

So, I totally relate about the cleaning part. I find that when my house is messy that I am distracted and have an underlying irritation. Dax definitly has different standards for cleaning than I do. Often he'll stay up late playing video games and will leave beer cans and dirty dishes in the livingroom and a mess in the kitchen. I hate coming home to a messy house! (Sorry! I'm reved up on this kind of stuff right now!) Making a chore list could work if he is receptive to it.

On the hobbies, too, I have to aggree. Too much! Dax is totally addicted to Xbox 360. I try to be supportive -- I even bought him a PSP for Christmas-- but its just irritating! Pretty much every boy I've dated has been like that though-- whether it be video games, playing multiple sports or whatever.. Its either a personality type that I attract or boys in general. I like it that he has interests but sometimes they take up too much time.

I find that when I feel this way it is really helpful to take a little distance and put in some major me time. So... I'll get a pedicure, relax & read in a coffee shop, go shopping (gotta love 'retail therapy'), or visit a friend over night. I have friends in Sacramento and San Fran which are both easy overnight trips for me. One time I even went to Santa Cruz on a whim.. soaked up the love of the sun!! I find Dax will be full of questions and attention. Sometimes, I'll even act a little aloof (a 'girl game', maybe, but not a horrible one!!). And really what it boils down to is I give myself some needed attention and TLC.

I've actually thought of starting up some type of hobby.. but I haven't found the right one yet...

Anyway, I feel ya, Lana. That type of crap is an irritant to me also. Boys just see things so differently! Don't get me wrong, I love Dax to death, but I'm not a big fan of him today! LOL.
 
lanadefemme said:
I don't know why my fiance needs a freaking world of hobbies that include but are not limited more video games than time is allotted to play, a ham radio, an extensive cigar collecting addiction and for some asinine reason pipe collecting. You're a 20 something year old man for god sake, not Colonel Saunders!
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Ouch! I hurt myself laughing my ass off!!
 
lanadefemme said:
Do I have an unrealistic sense of cleanliness?
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No!!

lanadefemme said:
But really, I think that as my patience wears thin, so does his. This is not a winning combination. I'll try and be a little more understanding and kind, once I get over this vicious anger. It's probably time for a run.
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Good job! (on the plan to run).

Its good that you thinking this all through and writing it out. Also you are taking into account your own moods and how you affect eachother. Its such a cycle. Your mood affects their mood then you react to them reacting. I know it well. It gets to a point where it gets a jumbled together. I think you're on a good track, though, to figuring it out and being fair.
 
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Ok so things are good with the fiance now. We had a long talk and heard each other out. I think we really just needed the date night. Gallery opening, cuban food, shopping, movie, etc. It was an awesome night for my soul, not that great of a night for my fitness goals.

I blew over a third of my calories on drinks last night. I could claim that it's so hard to mingle without a drink in hand but the reality is that with every drink I have I'm more likely to have a second because my inhibitions are lowered. I'm usually pretty good about just having a glass of wine which doesn't do too much damage but lately I'm falling back into old habits. Also I've been staying out late which always makes me hungry for a later meal. But I can't stop living my life to try to lose weight, in fact, if anything I need to figure out how to change my habits so I can live my life without undermining my fitness goals.

So I think my solution is to drink wine spritzers instead of full glasses of wine. That way I can spread one glass over two glasses. Then on the nights I'm going to stay out late I'm going to have to have smaller meals throughout the day in anticipation of the fact that we'll probably go out and have a snack at night.

Anyhow, here's how yesterday went:

Fiber: 19/25g
Protein: 119/100g
Veg/Fruit: 6/7
Cals: 1557/1200

I'm still sitting at 153, though to be honest, I'm surprised I haven't gained. So I guess I should just celebrate not gaining.

Anyhow, I'm actually working today prepping for an audit tomorrow so I'm a big ball of stress.

Wish me luck!
 
Good luck with your audition Lana!

I'm sorry you had troubles with you're boyfriend but sometimes boys need to have things repeated a zillion times before they understand they're hurting us.

Have a great week
India
 
Thanks for all you gals wishing me luck. It ended up being a relatively short meeting with the auditor with a request for further information. Doh.

Lol, thanks India, but it's an audit, not an audition. I think the audition would be a lot more fun.

Yesterday, after working a 12 hour day prepping for the audit, this is what caloric intake looked like:

Fiber: 32/25g
Protein: 115/100g
Veg/Fruit: 4/7 servings
Cals: 1283/1200

As I'm looking at my intake a little more I realize that I'm basically on the zone diet. Lol. My calories are pretty evenly distributed among protein, fat and grains. By and large I have no intake of transfat, just good fats mainly.

Anyhow, looking at the week ahead I have ballroom dancing tonight, then hitting the gym or running everyday this week, if my cough allows, then on the 17th I'm going to dinner at a possible reception venue for the wedding and celebrating my mom's birthday, on the 19th I'm going to a birthday party, and then on Sunday meeting up with my personal trainer and then maybe a trip to Disneyland afterwards to unwind from another crazy week.
 
So I'm on a shopping kick and it makes me think about how much I would just LOVE to be the size I want to be so I can wear all the CLOTHES I want. I mean, won't it just be great when you can look in the mirror, love what you see, and then all you have to worry about is what you're going to put on your hot bod?

Motivation, thy name is fashion.
 
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