Losing Myself, At least 40 lbs Anyway

Hey Lana!
I know how you feel. Like Jessa said, I've made lifestyle changes but I feel it's not enough. I know I could do more than that but when it comes to really kick butt I hear the voice of the fat me say:"you don't need to do so much, you've already changed a lot since 01/01/08!".
Anywho, I'm sure you can do it. You're a great girl, with a strong will power and you'll get where you want to.

In bocca al lupo! (good luck)
India
 
A couple of thoughts I had:

- I was reading someone else's diary and read a comment Jessa made about how water flushes fat. I don't know how many people believe this is true but she's absolutely right. Water not only prevents you from retaining water, it aids in suppressing appetite but probably the most important thing it does is aid kidney and liver function which in turn allows your body to more efficiently metabolize fat.

- I got up and went running this morning for about 40 minutes, including stretch time. I could have done the 60 BUT I started late and I couldn't be too late for work. I thought about this woman, that I think I've mentioned before, who used to run in the park with her baby. She was actually really very fast while pushing that jogging stroller and when she lapped me I could remember thinking "Damn baby smugly passing me by." Lol. But today I thought, this won't be the last time in my life that I have to lose a large amount of weight. Baby weight will be a challenge and if I can't find time to workout to lose the weight I have now how am I ever going to do this when I have all that I have going on now plus a baby? I have to treat working out like any other responsibility I have. Something that MUST be done.

- Interval training is awesome. I picked up a guide on how to reduce cellulite online and one of the things it recommends is interval training. It turns out that's kind of the same thing that's recommended to runners in order to get their overall speed up. So today I did intervals of 1-2 minutes running and 1 minute of walking. I was able sustain an overall faster time than my previous method of running which was basically run for as long as you can then walk to recover.

- When I got back from my run and made my breakfast I kind of thought to myself whether or not I see myself as a healthy person or a fat person trying to be healthy. And even beyond that, am I trying to be healthy for health's sake or am I trying to be healthy for vanity? I had to honestly admit vanity. I think that's one of my real challenges. I need to be focused on being healthy, not just thin.
 
Hey Jessa and India, I'm so glad you girls can relate. Do you ever think we get to a point where we're satisfied with what we've done fitness wise is any given day? What's a 10/10 day for you girls?

Yesterday:
Breakfast: 1/2 a Chipotle steak salad
Lunch: The rest of the salad mentioned above.
Snack: 1 Tangelo, 1 Apple
Dinner: 1 skinless chicken breast, 1 slice of pan pizza, 3 cups of mixed green salad.

Fiber: 8/25g (doh. It explains why I was so hungry by dinner time.)
Protein: 118/100g
Veg/Fruit: 8/7 servings
Cals: 1236/1200
Water: 2.2/2.2L
Exercise: If you count cleaning for an hour straight getting ready for my fiance's sister to come over a workout, then Fitday says it's 155 calories.
 
lanadefemme said:
She was actually really very fast while pushing that jogging stroller and when she lapped me I could remember thinking "Damn baby smugly passing me by." Lol. But today I thought, this won't be the last time in my life that I have to lose a large amount of weight. Baby weight will be a challenge
Click to expand...

I've got a jogging stroller that I never used when DD was a baby. We pulled it out the other day at my parents' house, for lack of the regular stroller, and did a couple laps with it. That thing will drag you along behind it, seriously. I can walk much faster pushing that stroller (by which I mean holding on to it and trying to keep up) than walking freestanding. If you put a kid in it and let go on a mostly-level surface, it will move of its own accord.

Some people do have trouble with post-partum weight loss, but IME it just falls off by itself. A good portion of that weight is increased blood volume, so just water. And the whole point of gaining it is to have fat stores to support breastfeeding, so it's meant to be easy to burn off after giving birth. I wouldn't worry about baby weight if I were you. I would worry about "mindless snacking once the baby is born" weight, which is weight you don't have to gain to have a healthy pregnancy and which can be very hard to get off.
 
What a night you had Lana! I bet you're so tired!

Those policemen are incredible.:eek2: They should be put in jail. I hope your friend Krista is ok now.
 
Hey lana :). Well that is totally sick about the officers. I hope she files a complaint. So they never charged her with DUI?
 
Wow! Drama Trauma!

Your friend should definitely report the whole ordeal & keep pressure on the powers that be to do something about it. She can also check & see if there have been other complaints against the same officer.

Do you think everything she claims happened really happened though? I have a few friends w/ long time drinking & drug problems & it seems like one thing they all have in common is when they get busted it's never their fault, or the cops were specifically out to screw w/ them, but that's plausible too.
I personally don't trust cops!! I'm not involved in anything illegal & I still don't trust them.
My friends neighbor is a cop & once we were at her house he came over & drank a beer with us.. he was talking about pulling this older lady over & making her get out of her car & searching her for no reason like it was funny. I commented that he should be careful because some people are pretty protective of their civil liberties & she could have sued or whatever & he said "Oh, we have ways of making sure our searches turn up something if somebody decides they don't have to cooperate". What a prick.

Once my husband was stopped right on our road by this cop that would not tell him why he was pulled over, he searched my dh's work truck & ransacked it, searched him personally then called in a k9 unit to go back thru his truck. The dog didn't find anything but the cop kept insisting he had pot in the truck. He rolled his sleeve up & said "You see this rash on my arm? It's there because I'm allergic to marijuana & I know it's here somewhere." They finally let him go after almost 2 hours & ended up giving him a ticket for swerving.. which he never did in the first place. I got advice from the ACLU to have it bound over to a state jury trial & we did. The cop dropped the charge & we heard he was fired from our PD a few weeks later for other reasons.
Another time when my son was a baby I got up to feed him in the middle of the night & saw a truck at the end of my driveway & 3 people loading our brand new lawn mower onto a trailer. They pulled off as I was calling the police. It turned out 2 of my neighbors mowers were also stolen, we found out in the morning.. so, using my description of the truck & trailer the thieves were caught the next day but wouldn't you know that my 2 neighbors crappy mowers were recovered, but my brand new $1500 mower was not! The detective in charge of the case said mine probably was not stolen by them.. maybe someone else stole it & hinted that we were just trying to cash in by claiming ours was stolen too. I was like, wtf are you talking about? I AM the one who saw them stealing it!! I called the police! No one else even knew theirs was gone til the next morning! It was MY description that led to their arrest dumbass. Anyway, my guess is that the detective got our mower, because we never did & were excluded from the case. A year later the new DA for our county called me to apologize for the mishandling of the whole thing & said that detective had been fired. So, for him to call me like that out of the blue just confirmed that something fishy did go down.

Well, sorry to go on & on.. I'll stop now but I could go on. I've had multiple negative encounters with law enforcement.

Hey, Good for you for passing up the Del Taco!

IMHO, if you can look at your own drinking habits objectively and wonder about whether or not your drinking is within a social norm you probably don't have a drinking problem, although it might be a sign that you need to cut back.. Most the alcoholics I know deny they have a problem or will ask for a ride to the liquor store because they lost their license after their last dui right after telling me how bad of an alcoholic someone else is.
 
Hey girls! It's been hectic, after everything on Friday, I spent Saturday recovering my sleep time after working and on Sunday it was a Superbowl extravaganza! I had 2 parties to go to and I can't even begin to estimate the calories consumed. Yesterday Josh and I headed out to the Mitt Romney Rally (Josh is a new political blogger, his site is hardbeingright.com, about a young republican in a blue state) and then ate pretty late last night.

Here's what I ate yesterday:
Breakfast: Green beans and onions 1 cup, 2 cups of broccoli with a cheese dipping sauce, 2/3 of a cheese enchilada.
Snack: .25 cup of chicken vegetable soup, one cubic inch of meatloaf, a bite of white fish.
Lunch: one burger with only one side of the bun, 2 bites of creamed spinach.
Dinner: 2 cups papaya salad (it's spicy and low in calories), 1 cup brown rice, green bean and beef thai curry (1 cup of green beans), jade chicken curry (1 cup of zucchini).

The damage:
Fiber: 29/25g
Protein: 71/100g
Veg/Fruit: 7/7 servings
Cals: 1295/1200 cals
Exercise: 109 calories (we skipped dance class for the rally but did about 30 minutes of power walking to get to, from and around the rally.)
 
This has been a crazy past few days. In the course of 2 days I got into 2 car accidents, very minor, and yesterday was Chinese New Year.

In the past 3 days I've been to the gym twice and the day I didn't go to the gym I spent 5 hours cleaning, which burned a lot of calories.

This is the second day of the new year, I've started it off right and I'm recommitted to my goals.
 
So in the past week I've been to the gym or worked out 5 out of the past 7 days!

I'm kind of missing Jessa and some of the other girls who started their diaries around the time I did and haven't updated in a long while. I guess over time the diary is hard to stick with. I've been tracking everything in fitday still, I keep trying to meet my goals, but my weight loss is stalled.

Despite my weight loss stalling, I am feeling a lot thinner, my clothes are fitting well and my midsection is much leaner and stronger.

I'm thinking about changing my diet a little more for a short period of time to jump start my weight loss. Maybe going low carb for a couple of weeks or raw food for a month. I'm still 16 lbs away from being at a healthy BMI.

I have some double fiber bread that Josh and I have to get through and I'll probably do some low carb plan for a while. When I saw low carb I don't mean no fruits, I just mean no starches and grains.

Anyhow, hope you all are doing well.
 
Hi Lana!!!!

Sorry!! I fell off there a bit. Its been two weeks of junk food and loafing around. I feel bloated and gross!!!!

I am hopping back on the bandwagon TOMMORROW!!!

LOL I bought some 5 lb ankle weights today and wore them around under my jeans all day. Tonight when I took them off I felt light as a feather LOL!! I don't know if it helps too much but it can't hurt!!

I really fell off the diet hard. Sooo bad. In the past though I would just give up. I won't let myself this time though!!

Sorry I wasn't here for support.

I'm sorry about your friend. Cops make me nervous. Its like anything else -- there are good ones and bad ones. The bad ones make me nervous because of the power they have. I got a DUI a few years ago. It really sucked. I got it in Nevada, which isn't as bad as Cali. I never, ever, drive when I'm drinking now... it isn't worth the risk. It sounds like your friend has some problems. Hopefully this becomes a wake up call for her. Those cops were completly out of line but I've learned that there are things that I can do to control my safety. Like controling my environment, where and when I'm intoxicated.




A few years ago I went out drinking with my friend at a bar down the road from my house. Well, she and I tossed back the martinis that night like no tommorrow.

One minute, there we are laughing our asses off- the next I wake up in JAIL. I asked the cop what I did and he made up a few crazy stories to mess with me and then said I was picked up for being 'drunk in public' and they'd let me out at noon the next day. No charges. I sat there all night listening to young girls, who got DUIs, cry on the phone to thier parents. I was all of a sudden stone sober and had NO MEMORY of the night before.

When they let me out I went to check out and they had NOTHING for me, no wallet, no shoes.... I was like what the f.. happened??!! So I walked to my friends house, barefoot, to ask her what happened. She was like 'What do you mean? I dropped you off at your house last night.' (I lived alone at the time. I didn't call Dax because I knew he'd be pissed plus my friend lived pretty close by.)

We drive to my house and right when we drove in to the complex, there were my shoes in the middle of the parking spaces! Broken! So, clue one: thats why I was barefoot. The passenger door to my truck was open and my purse was dumped out on the seat. I went up to my condo. The door was open. My sunglasses were on the bathroom floor. I deduced that I had gone in the house (clue two). Clue three was that I had dumped my purse out and my wallet was nowhere to be found.

I called the bar I was at the night before and he said the had my wallet AND he said that I had called the night before, after I left, saying that I left my wallet there and was coming to get it.

Soooo... mystery solved. My drunk ass had tried to walk to the bar to go get my wallet and got picked up by the 'Poe Poe' along the way (who knows what I was doing.. walking in the middle of the road??). (At least I didn't try to drive).

Its scary because I was completly blacked out. I mean anything could have happened. I had to walk by some creepy apartment complexes on my way to the bar... It wasn't a short walk. Anyone could have picked me up. Sooo baaad... Walking barefoot down Ski Run Blvd at 4 am wearing only a tank top and shorts (oh, and wasted). It made me realize that I really need to be better at protecting myself. (needless to say Dax was not impressed.. this was like four years ago though.. so he's over it..)




Funny note: It turned out that my friend's sister, who works at the jail, was who booked me that night. She said they brought me in to the station, in the cruiser, handcuffed. They did my mug shots, printed me, all of that.. to which all I cooperated, almost enthusiasticly. Afterwards, I was sitting with the cops, answering questions and all of a sudden, I looked up at them surprised and said: "Hey, wait a minute! Are you guys COPS???" LOL. (I guess I didn't get clued in by the police car, cuffs, station, mugshots, fingerprinting....)

Anyway. Thats my "wake up call night". Moral of the story: If your so drunk you don't know who you are or where you are, anything can happen to you. I was just lucky nothing bad happened to me. Scary, huh?

I think binge drinking is really common in our age group. Also I think alot of people our age won't accept thier alcoholism because they think of themselves as too young, or something. Like alcoholism is reserved for abusive parents, trailer park patrons, or old men. I read this book called Smashed by Koren Zailckas -- she's this college chick that gets black out drunk often, has risky sex.. etc. I think its a common ailment among young women. For example I bet your friend was hammered when she cheated on her boyfriend. Its sad really. Drinking can be probably one of the worst drugs. It changes people severely and makes them do things they would never do otherwise.

So thats tonights rant! Missed you!!

Jessa
 
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Jessa I am so glad you're back!!! I've kind of been slacking too. I tried just to not think about counting calories for a while and just use my good judgment and will power. Bad idea for me! Lol.

You're right though, I think binge drinking is a really common thing amongst our age group. Maybe juggling the responsibilities of adulthood but yearning for those days without responsibilities cumulates into massive amounts of drinking. Lol.

I've got my friend going with me to the gym now, hoping it'll give her something else good to focus on, but when she came over on Friday to meet up with us and a bunch of our friends she ended up drinking so much she threw up and didn't even realize at first. I'm starting to really see the gravity of her alcohol problems.

Anyway, after this week is over I think I'm going to go low carb. I think it'll really help with some of the weight loss I need to jumpstart. Is it true though that once you reintroduce carbs/starches you gain it all back even if you stay within a low caloric intake?
 
I've heard that too about switching from low carb to low cal. Its hard for me to do the low carb... mostly because I can't stick with it for too long.

I'm back to the plan from before my break... though I'm going to be a nazi to myself! I got on the scale this am and I gained 4 lbs back. I guess it could be worse.

Good luck with the low carb! I agree sometimes I need a change to jumpstart me... break plateaus and boredom. I'm going to do the All Bran challange. lol. Have it for breakfast everday for ten days. (along with my calorie counting) Hopefully I'll see some good results.
 
Ok, so I'm back to reporting my food intake today. Though I have to say I've been a gyming superstar! Here's what I've done for the last few days.

Yesterday: 35 minutes of cardio (stair master and that escalating stairmaster) and 35 minutes of weights (arms and legs).
Tuesday: 25 minutes of cardio (bike and elliptical) and 30 minutes of weights.
Monday: SLACKED OFF. Lol.
Sunday: 1 hour of personal training (30 minutes of weights and 30 minutes of bootcamp.)

I'm going to vow to do the following everyday for the next 30 days to build my healthy habits and jump back into being committed and focused to weight loss.

1. Log my exercise and food intake in fitday.com.
2. Do at least 30 minutes of exercise.
3. Drink 3 liters of water.
4. Post in the weight loss forum.
5. Weigh myself.
 
lanadefemme said:
Ok, so I'm back to reporting my food intake today. Though I have to say I've been a gyming superstar! Here's what I've done for the last few days.
Click to expand...

Good job, Supa-Star!!!!

I'm going to vow to do the following everyday for the next 30 days to build my healthy habits and jump back into being committed and focused to weight loss.

1. Log my exercise and food intake in fitday.com.
2. Do at least 30 minutes of exercise.
3. Drink 3 liters of water.
4. Post in the weight loss forum.
5. Weigh myself.
Click to expand...

Good plan. It really helps me to write out goals like that. Even if I don't meet them perfectly it helps solidify them in my brain. I need to try to exercise every day, too. I was thinking of at least having a goal of a certain amount of push ups and sit ups every day, so even if I don't do a full-on 30m to 1 hr workout, at least I'm doing something. Plus, I REALLY want to get my abs in shape. Its easy for me to sneak in the spare room while Dax is playing video games and do it.

Keep up the good work, Lana!!!
 
Hi Lana!
It looks like you're doing great! I wish I was exercising as much! This week I've been as lazy as humanly possible.
Have a great day!

India
 
So I totally haven't posted daily, mainly because of some major trauma drama going on. Josh went for a night with the boys and came back with his car dented and a damaged knee. I had to take him to urgent care and now he's on crutches.

On the brighter side I think we're booking the reception venue today *fingers crossed*

Here's what I ate and did over the weekend:

Sunday: 1/2 spinach salad, 6 chicken wings, 1/4 of an individual pan pizza, 1 square of dark chocolate, a michelob ultra, 1 oz. of cheddar cheese, then a 9 course Chinese banquet for our wedding reception tasting. I think it was 1 oz roast suckling pig, 4 oz of miscellaneous seafood like abalone, lobster, fish, 1 cups of fried rice, 1 cup shark fin soup, 2 cups of braised bok choy, and 1 oz of beef tenderloin. I spent over an hour helping a friend move out of her apartment lugging boxes down stairs in lieu of going to the gym.

Fiber: 12/25g
Protein: 124/100g
Fruit/Veg: 4/7 servings
Cals: 2069/1200 cals (Doh! Stupid reception tasting!)
Water: 1.5 liters
Exercise: 216+ calories burned.
Weight: 152.5

Saturday: If I'm remembering correctly I had about 2.5 large tamales over the course of the day, 2 cocktail meatballs, 2 oz of low fat cheese, an orange and 1 enchilada.

Fiber: 12/25g
Protein: 64/100g
Fruit/Veg: 1/7 (Jeezus.)
Cals: 1358/1200 cals
Water: 1.5 Liters
Exercise: None, like a lame-o.
Weight: 152

Friday: 1 chile relleno, 1 enchilada, .3 of a wet shrimp burrito, .3 of a chicago style polish dog, .25 of a tamale, 2 cups of shrimp and octopus ceviche, 4 cups of garden salad, 1 tablespoon of ranch, an orange.

Fiber: 22/25g
Protein: 129/100g
Fruit/Veg: 5/7
Cals: 1836/1200 cals
Water: 2 Liters
Exercise: None.
Weight: 153

Wow, that was kind of sobering! I think I'm going to pick up a salad for lunch so I can stop being such a glutton.
 
Conversations with My Fat

I was reading this article about how we should all have a conversation with our fat. The writer talked about how she would write a conversation between her and her fat everyday (I know it sounds crazy) and over the course of her writing she discovered that her fat was helping her achieve her goals.

Apparently she was in love with a guy across the country but as long as she stayed fat she would ignore chasing after the guy and focus on her career. As a result she was able to move her other goals farther and farther along but it was all hinged on a subconscious idea that it was from her being fat.

If I had a conversation with my fat, it would go something like this:

Me: Fat, why don't you get off me? I mean, you can stick around on my boobs, but really I'd like you off my legs, arms and stomach.

My Fat: But I make sitting on your butt so comfortable.

M: Alright, you can stay on my butt for cushioning. But stay compact, don't get all spread out and cellulite dimply.

MF: But I make you so much older.

M: This is not a plus.

MF: People take you more seriously and can relate to you better when I'm around.

M: Holy cow, that is messed up.

MF: Plus, you get so out of control when you're skinny, always wanting to get out there and party. You lose your focus.

M: Ummm... I always thought I was just getting too old to party like a rockstar in Hollywood clubs. You know, as ageist as it sounds, most women over 25 don't look like they belong clubbing.

MF: That's just sour grapes. You know if you could rock it you would and you don't because you're too self conscious about being fat.

M: Totally not true. But I do love clubbing clothes.

MF: I told you, I'm keeping you from looking like a floozy.

M: Good point.

MF: And anyway, skinny girls are ditzy. You don't want to be a ditz.

M: So you think that you, my fat, are making me smart?

MF: Well at least you seem smarter. I can't do much for that brain of yours.

M: Wow, even my fat is bitchy.

Lol, sorry, I just had to do that.

But now that I think about that whole conversation, I guess on some level I think a benefit of being fat is people taking me more seriously because I look older. There's probably more to this.

Are you guys thinking about having a conversation with your fat?
 
Here's what I ate today:

Breakfast: 2 spring rolls, not fried, made mainly of veggies, shrimp and pork.

Lunch: 1/2 a whole wheat English muffin with 1 slice beef bologna and a slice of reduced fat cheddar.

Snack: 10 pringles jalepeno chips. Boo for that.

Dinner: 1 cup of white rice, 7 small meat balls. I should have swapped out rice for veggies but the rice was readily available.

Snack: 6 large strawberries, 4 spoons of ice cream mooched from my recovering boyfriend. A shared Thai iced tea with boba.

Fitday says:
Fiber: 10/25g
Protein: 59/100g
Fruit/Veg: 2.5/7 servings
Cals: 1245/1200 cals
Water: 1/3L (I'll probably have another liter before bed.)
Exercise: None. I'll be back at it tomorrow, since Saturday night I've been taking care of Josh who is recovering from a torn PCL.
 
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