Looking to lose an extra human I apparently picked up along the way
- Thread starter MrVee
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Quercus
New member
That sucks! Cold and the date. Maybe pick someone based solely on their compatibility without considering their profile pic(Or at least not top priority). Have a date with someone you think you'd enjoy being around instead of someone you think is hot. Note that I'm not saying lower your standards, but rather re-prioritize them. Pretty means jack if they are so self absorbed that they don't want to meet you because you looked different than your profile pic.
To be blunt you are being shallow and that is leading you to shallow women. Attraction is only purely physical until you meet someone. The person you went out with has no concept of that reality. I think you should focus a bit more on that too.
I am trying to help, but I'll understand if you call me a dick.
To be blunt you are being shallow and that is leading you to shallow women. Attraction is only purely physical until you meet someone. The person you went out with has no concept of that reality. I think you should focus a bit more on that too.
I am trying to help, but I'll understand if you call me a dick.
MrVee
New member
It's a little more complicated than that Q. Indeed we were getting along great via text, and I wound up contacting her first precisely because I thought we were compatible. Oddly enough there's no shortage of attractive women on these sites, and so how well I think we'd get along based on their profile is what leads me to choose which ones to contact.
It's been a common pattern: I contact them, they check out my profile and either don't respond or think I'm funny and contact me back. We trade a few emails, exchange numbers and then exchange texts and set up a date. Until the date happens we trade a few texts (in this case and in other cases more than 'a few') and everything seems to go quite well. And then the date happens and all of the sudden they couldn't be less interested. It's a little disconcerting to see such a rapid change actually, and it's hard not to take it personally.
I'm starting to think that it's just that the format blows: it's like a damned job interview and there's pretty much nothing less fun and sexy than one of those. It's all so stilted and unnatural; just sitting at a bar or restaurant lobbing questions at one another. Truth be told, I think it would go better if we stood in a park and lobbed water balloons at one another instead.
And no you're not being a dick.
It's been a common pattern: I contact them, they check out my profile and either don't respond or think I'm funny and contact me back. We trade a few emails, exchange numbers and then exchange texts and set up a date. Until the date happens we trade a few texts (in this case and in other cases more than 'a few') and everything seems to go quite well. And then the date happens and all of the sudden they couldn't be less interested. It's a little disconcerting to see such a rapid change actually, and it's hard not to take it personally.
I'm starting to think that it's just that the format blows: it's like a damned job interview and there's pretty much nothing less fun and sexy than one of those. It's all so stilted and unnatural; just sitting at a bar or restaurant lobbing questions at one another. Truth be told, I think it would go better if we stood in a park and lobbed water balloons at one another instead.
And no you're not being a dick.
Quercus
New member
Well I was kind of being a dick in assuming you were relying so heavily on their appearance. I think the water balloon date would be awesome.
I will say that I refuse to think they are disappointed at your looks. I've seen a lot of pictures of you over the course of your transformation and I refuse to believe that they have equally misrepresented you as more handsome. I think some people are jerks and will decide that they can "do better" on seeing someone. I don't think that has happened to you or at the very least not multiple times. I would guess that your confidence/anxiety at the introduction and very negative interpretation to your dates reactions puts you off to a bad start.
I think dating based on computer profiles and messaging is not much better than a blind date. I think you need to reconsider the ol' Trader Joe model were you start with them seeing you and go from there. Even if you never drum up a date it will be lots of practice for the first face to face part if you do it. I know actually striking up a conversation with a strange woman that buys your brand of yak milk seems inviting on par with power tool home dentistry, but it won't be as bad as you imagine.
Disclaimer: My last date was in 1993.
I will say that I refuse to think they are disappointed at your looks. I've seen a lot of pictures of you over the course of your transformation and I refuse to believe that they have equally misrepresented you as more handsome. I think some people are jerks and will decide that they can "do better" on seeing someone. I don't think that has happened to you or at the very least not multiple times. I would guess that your confidence/anxiety at the introduction and very negative interpretation to your dates reactions puts you off to a bad start.
I think dating based on computer profiles and messaging is not much better than a blind date. I think you need to reconsider the ol' Trader Joe model were you start with them seeing you and go from there. Even if you never drum up a date it will be lots of practice for the first face to face part if you do it. I know actually striking up a conversation with a strange woman that buys your brand of yak milk seems inviting on par with power tool home dentistry, but it won't be as bad as you imagine.
Disclaimer: My last date was in 1993.
MrVee
New member
Here's two pictures of me:
View attachment 22275
And:
View attachment 22276
One of those is on my profile and one is not. I have the sneaking suspicion that in real life I look a lot more like the second pic than the first and then my first interaction with these women is one in which they feel they've been misled. I look like a normal guy in one, and a bit quasimodo-ish in the other.
View attachment 22275
And:
View attachment 22276
One of those is on my profile and one is not. I have the sneaking suspicion that in real life I look a lot more like the second pic than the first and then my first interaction with these women is one in which they feel they've been misled. I look like a normal guy in one, and a bit quasimodo-ish in the other.
Xenon1
New member
I'm only going based on your last two responses so sorry if you covered this already...but have you talked to anyone on webcam before going on a date? Maybe it will help them get to see you and your mannerisms before the date. But looking at the picture on the bottom it just looks like someone caught u in the middle of a laugh. I have a couple of pictures like that which are actually terrible in my opinion, but otherwise I look pretty ok.
Marcela_Olega
New member
yes absolutely, both physically and mentally!
Quercus
New member
I think you have a poor self-image. The "bad" pic isn't a flattering photo, but you don't look bad at all. It's poorly lit so the cooler tones are emphasized as evidenced by your grey shirt nearly glowing. You are making a slightly goofy face, but that's just the instant of the photo. I don't like almost every photo of me ever and this is the first one I've seen that is less flattering of you other than your first pic where you look super grumpy.
View attachment 22277
Also this.
View attachment 22277
Also this.
Cate
Long term member
I'm afraid I can be of no help whatsoever in the dating stakes. I think the whole thing must be a nightmare! I think you look great in both photos. I loved seeing you smile! I agree with Q that you should not take down the clever comments. Intelligence & wit are huge attractions I think. Hopefully, a smart woman will really get to know & appreciate you. She's out there somewhere. Don't give up! Cheers xo Cate
Quercus
New member
Good luck on the date buddy!
Make the combo the first two digits of unrelated or obscure constants. Then right the name of the constants on the lock as a reminder without giving it away to the viewer.
Example:
Planck Avogadro would be 6660
Or even more cryptic and dorky you could write Max Amedeo which are their first names. Of course it would help to be constants/names that you knew, but I have a feeling you know a few.
Or super simple use the 1st four digits of the speed of light and you can right the letter C on the lock with 2997 as the combo. If you type in "C =" in google it will give you your combo so you don't have to remember it.
Make the combo the first two digits of unrelated or obscure constants. Then right the name of the constants on the lock as a reminder without giving it away to the viewer.
Example:
Planck Avogadro would be 6660
Or even more cryptic and dorky you could write Max Amedeo which are their first names. Of course it would help to be constants/names that you knew, but I have a feeling you know a few.
Or super simple use the 1st four digits of the speed of light and you can right the letter C on the lock with 2997 as the combo. If you type in "C =" in google it will give you your combo so you don't have to remember it.
Cheeselover
Member
Good luck and hoping that this date goes better than the previous one, although I think that it was not as bad as you described it!
MrVee
New member
That's some extremely geeky and also super helpful advice Q. It's a master lock but I could still set the combo to the first six digits of Euler's constant. Not all that obscure, but likely obscure enough to thwart locker thieves. And even if I'm without access to a computer for some reason I can still compute it out.
Anyhow 182.5 this morning, and pretty sure that's a new low. Man I've missed being able to say that.
Played basketball yesterday without too much issue. I'm really starting to move pretty well out there, at least when I'm at near full energy. Wish I could jump, but I never could do that, even when young.
Date seemed to go well, or at least far better than the last one. Hopefully we will go out again next week, but you never can tell until it either does or does not happen.
I will also stop and say that I am extremely grateful for all the support I've received on this forum for the last few years (my sign-up anniversary is coming up very soon) and in particular all the support both on here and in PMs I've gotten recently. You people are the best and I thank all of you. It's meant a ton to me. But I'm not going anywhere so don't worry. Was just feeling sentimental this morning for some reason. So long!
Anyhow 182.5 this morning, and pretty sure that's a new low. Man I've missed being able to say that.
Played basketball yesterday without too much issue. I'm really starting to move pretty well out there, at least when I'm at near full energy. Wish I could jump, but I never could do that, even when young.
Date seemed to go well, or at least far better than the last one. Hopefully we will go out again next week, but you never can tell until it either does or does not happen.
I will also stop and say that I am extremely grateful for all the support I've received on this forum for the last few years (my sign-up anniversary is coming up very soon) and in particular all the support both on here and in PMs I've gotten recently. You people are the best and I thank all of you. It's meant a ton to me. But I'm not going anywhere so don't worry. Was just feeling sentimental this morning for some reason. So long!
MrVee
New member
Well looks like a solid 0 for 3 on last week's dates in terms of getting 2nd dates. Only the 2nd of the three did it seem like I had any chance but she gave me the "thanks but no thanks" today when I asked for another date.
Had my yearly physical today but with a new doc. Going to schedule an appointment for some bloodwork, but since all of my stuff was really good when I was 220 pounds for last year's physical, it should be fine again. The good news is my prostate is fine, the bad news is he checked it to find that out.
Had my yearly physical today but with a new doc. Going to schedule an appointment for some bloodwork, but since all of my stuff was really good when I was 220 pounds for last year's physical, it should be fine again. The good news is my prostate is fine, the bad news is he checked it to find that out.
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