Totally. I think we really relate deeply to that story/symbolic level of things.
I heard a monk talking about chants for protection once--i love the idea of that. I really love how great a fit this meditation group sounds for you!
Sounds delicious!
Llama
- Thread starter Llama
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I heard a monk talking about chants for protection once--i love the idea of that. I really love how great a fit this meditation group sounds for you!
Llama
Well-known member
I do love the feel/style of the place but omg do I have to bite my tongue sometimes... I try to use it like you do your cat poop issue though: a way to practice equanimity.
Was shaking out fresh laundry earlier before hanging it to dry and one of the hard rubber balls that live in my washing machine for increase washing efficiency had made its way into a shorts pocket. Hit my knee right below the knee cap, full force into the tendon. Hurt like hell for a minute or two but the it was ok. Only now, a couple of hours later, it feels kind of weird again so there's probably some swelling behind the tendon. Hope it'll be ok by tomorrow but I'll put an icepack into my tiny freezer compartment just in case I need it afte hiking.
Llama
Well-known member
Thanks Cate. I slept like a log and it feels ok this morning. I do expect to feel it a bit today, at least on the way down, but it shouldn't be too bad.
Meditation was hard this morning but I managed to get there in the end. And that's why it's so important for me to have a place to go meditate "officially" at least once a week: without it I forget how good it feels when it does come easily so I just give up on hard days, lose the habit, and find it impossible to use when I really need it.
Meditation was hard this morning but I managed to get there in the end. And that's why it's so important for me to have a place to go meditate "officially" at least once a week: without it I forget how good it feels when it does come easily so I just give up on hard days, lose the habit, and find it impossible to use when I really need it.
Llama
Well-known member
True that 
I should probably go out for an evening walk to enjoy the lovely weather because it's supposed to get a lot worse tomorrow (almost 20°C lower than today ) But for now I'm being lazy and looking up possible hotels for a hiking trip in six weeks.
Oh, and I just got a message (not for me personally, just in the whatsapp group) from Lector, saying that while there's nothing wrong with using incense in private we won't be using it in class because of the risk of irritation. Yay! A girl had a coughing fit in class last week, Substitute assumed it was from the incense (which he doesn't like but one of the other members of the center apparently lit anyway; I suspect I know who it was because there is one person who reeeeeks of the stuff) and I of course made sure to jump on the occasion (after class) to say it's kind of hard on my lungs and eyes as well so I was grateful he was sensitive to the issue. So happy I won't have to worry about that anymore!
I should probably go out for an evening walk to enjoy the lovely weather because it's supposed to get a lot worse tomorrow (almost 20°C lower than today ) But for now I'm being lazy and looking up possible hotels for a hiking trip in six weeks.Oh, and I just got a message (not for me personally, just in the whatsapp group) from Lector, saying that while there's nothing wrong with using incense in private we won't be using it in class because of the risk of irritation. Yay! A girl had a coughing fit in class last week, Substitute assumed it was from the incense (which he doesn't like but one of the other members of the center apparently lit anyway; I suspect I know who it was because there is one person who reeeeeks of the stuff) and I of course made sure to jump on the occasion (after class) to say it's kind of hard on my lungs and eyes as well so I was grateful he was sensitive to the issue. So happy I won't have to worry about that anymore!
Llama
Well-known member
Thanks Cate! I had a really good meditation last night, slept well, and started the day off well with meditation, stretching*, tempeh&veg wraps, and some paperwork. Speaking of which: thr post office just opened so I'll go mail my forms.
*I'm having one more go at getting my hips flexible enough to sit cross-legged. I don't really believe I have a chance, given that wasn't even able to do it when I was a 4-year-old piece of elastic, but I have made some progress in the past 4 weeks.
*I'm having one more go at getting my hips flexible enough to sit cross-legged. I don't really believe I have a chance, given that wasn't even able to do it when I was a 4-year-old piece of elastic, but I have made some progress in the past 4 weeks.
That's great about the incense. I imagine a lot of people would be relieved to see that gone.
Sounds like a wonderful beginning!
Llama
Well-known member
Thank you! I'm sure some people will be bummed as well. Most people don't have allergies and scent has a lot of influence on our psyche. I can see how it, like music and lighting, could make it easier for people to get into the right mindset for meditation. But I'm still glad.
Had a decent day. Was tempted to go to the store for sweets but did some breathing/grounding and the urge disappeared. I do need to buy eggs because I really can't eat cheese more than once a day regularly (not digestion-wise, I just seem to have lost the urge to eat all the cheese, all the time) and if I don't have an easy alternative I'll start craving meat. I guess that's the main thing about meat: it's extremely easy, high-protein, doesn't trigger my allergies, and it's tasty. That combination is hard to beat with plants. But I'm going to keep trying. Tomorrow's salad will have lentils.
Had a decent day. Was tempted to go to the store for sweets but did some breathing/grounding and the urge disappeared. I do need to buy eggs because I really can't eat cheese more than once a day regularly (not digestion-wise, I just seem to have lost the urge to eat all the cheese, all the time) and if I don't have an easy alternative I'll start craving meat. I guess that's the main thing about meat: it's extremely easy, high-protein, doesn't trigger my allergies, and it's tasty. That combination is hard to beat with plants. But I'm going to keep trying. Tomorrow's salad will have lentils.
Cate
Long term member
Oh, well done Llama!
Llama
Well-known member
Thanks Cate 
Well, I've been asking for answers/strategies to my fear problem and they started coming last night. I swear this process is more exhausting than therapy. First I had a long dream I'll spare you the details of but it left me feeling used and discarded - and crying. Then this morning I had another dream where I was on a train toward a new city, a new life. When my stop was called I scrambled to get all my baggage together and off the train before it left again but I managed it. I had a ways to walk though, so I tried assembling everything in such a way that I could carry it. Turns out if I'd planned ahead a bit and started packing earlier everything would've fit into one backpack and one cardboard box. Dreams ends with me standing in a dark, gray railway station, looking out on a sunny cityscape. Simple enough dream, right? If you plan ahead you can carry all you worries. Except that box was mighty heavy and as I walked to work I realized that it had been full of junk. I could've just thrown it all out and walked into that sunny city unburdened. Aaand then half an hour ago I realized the whole horrible ordeal in my first dream had been unnecessary as well. Sure, someone had taken all I had but I had in fact offered it to them. Hadn't expected them to take it ALL, of course, but that doesn't mean it was all their fault. Seeing it that way was just my ego talking.
Well, I've been asking for answers/strategies to my fear problem and they started coming last night. I swear this process is more exhausting than therapy. First I had a long dream I'll spare you the details of but it left me feeling used and discarded - and crying. Then this morning I had another dream where I was on a train toward a new city, a new life. When my stop was called I scrambled to get all my baggage together and off the train before it left again but I managed it. I had a ways to walk though, so I tried assembling everything in such a way that I could carry it. Turns out if I'd planned ahead a bit and started packing earlier everything would've fit into one backpack and one cardboard box. Dreams ends with me standing in a dark, gray railway station, looking out on a sunny cityscape. Simple enough dream, right? If you plan ahead you can carry all you worries. Except that box was mighty heavy and as I walked to work I realized that it had been full of junk. I could've just thrown it all out and walked into that sunny city unburdened. Aaand then half an hour ago I realized the whole horrible ordeal in my first dream had been unnecessary as well. Sure, someone had taken all I had but I had in fact offered it to them. Hadn't expected them to take it ALL, of course, but that doesn't mean it was all their fault. Seeing it that way was just my ego talking.
Llama
Well-known member
I guess I'm less resistant to my dream therapist and they don't misunderstand me all the time...Your dreams are therapy, Llama. They seem to have been very helpful
I think I'll draw an image of my junky luggage and symbolically destroy it somehow.
It's inspiring hearing about your meditation classes and that you are using the skills from them to help with cravings. I really want to try that! I have trouble sitting cross-legged for any length of time, so I put pillows under my knees and sit on a bolster, but I only sit that way for quick meditations. I love dreams and how they can mean many different things, like with poetry - good catalysts to think in new ways. I love how the symbols in dreams and religions can be interpreted through many different cultural contexts throughout time, with some being so universal that they retain very similar meanings and significance throughout the millennia. If that were my dream I might interpret the stuff I am bringing as wanted distractions (like how people can weigh themselves down with things they no longer need psychically because of a discomfort with change.) It's such a positive dream!! It's wonderful hearing you working so hard on your emotional life, and I'm so glad you no longer have to battle the burning incense at your meditation hall!
Llama
Well-known member
Thanks Marsia. No guarantee it'll work long-term, of course, but it worked yesterday. Today I wanted to keep eating after lunch but I realized I'd said I'd call a friend and since that took two hours (and I'd had a late lunch and meditation class is early) it was time for dinner after that anyway. So today has been a win all around!
I physically can't rotate my hip far enough to get into a cross-legged position. My right hip won't allow it. I think it may be a bony restriction but I'm giving it an honest go anyway.
You sound like you are in a really good place all round with the meditation and good food choices, and listening to your dream lessons...
Do they have different options for meditation postures at your class? I always liked cross legged, but some people seem to really like the kneeling meditation benches while others just opt for chairs.
Do they have different options for meditation postures at your class? I always liked cross legged, but some people seem to really like the kneeling meditation benches while others just opt for chairs.
Llama
Well-known member
Twice a week so far, but the class only runs until the end of May so I'll have to figure out which of their other meditation sessions would fit into my schedule.
I use the crappy folding chairs that tend to hurt my otherwise healthy back (hence the motivation to try and get my back to cooperate) but there are also cushions on the floor. No kneeling benches, sadly: I think those would work well for me.
Last night kind of sucked. I was the only one of the students who arrived on time and Substitute came later as well. One of the backup ladies hadn't got the no incense memo so the place reeked when I came in. She did extinguish it when I asked if I could open a window (I hadn't seen it and thought the grossness was from an earlier session) but she seemed insulted. Especially because apparently she'd just had the windows open for an hour... So now my throat is itching and my eyes are red because of course I didn't take AH before I left.
And then the other one wanted to do a voice exercise with me, which was very kind but also mortifying for non-singing (in public) me as the late-comers all started to come in.
The first meditation exercise was nice and I wasn't even annoyed by Substitute tales of miracles and other wonders this time but then another group member wanted to wow everyone with her Very Special Mystical Experiences and it took forever. I didn't mention they sounded exactly like untreated anxiety but I did say that one of the things she described was called sleep paralysis. Which of course wasn't what she wanted to hear at all, even though I left a loophole for people to decide for themselves if it was a medical phenomenon or a spiritual one.
I think it annoyed me so much because I've experienced all the things she described countless times as a kid and teen and didn't enjoy them at all. And honestly I don't want them to start culminating in panic attacks for her. Plus... back in the day I didn't dare to tell anyone about my fears and it made me feel like an outcast and her using hers as a kind of trophy made me feel like I didn't belong again. And that's not nice.
Sadly that pushed everything back and I had to leave before we started the last exercise. Plus I was annoyed. So I'll have to try and work on letting this crap roll off me some more If I want to be able to keep going. Which I do.
Oh, the scale is down half a kilo from last week.