Llama

:p A hike followed by some sweets, no doubt. Late this morning I ate the 24 g chocolate heart a patient brought me and I've been craving sweets since. Had some extra frozen grapes and a handful of dry crackers to appease my brain. Walked my 10 km. Decent day.

Second try for the dermatologist tomorrow morning. Much earlier appointment so I shouldn't have to worry about being late for work.

Breakfast will be the last portion of leek/bean/blue cheese soup, lunch and dinner will be 2 kinds of wraps and somewhere in between I'll probably have yogurt with fruit.

More sick colleagues so I'm doing annoying stuff tomorrow and Thursday, but I'll live. To make up for it and keep my stress/energy levels under control I refused to work overtime this week.

Rain today! Pollen count fell sharply :party:
 
Your food sounds delicious, as usual, Llama. It's a bugger about having to take on jobs that you don't like but good for you saying no to overtime. There has to be some kind of balance.
 
Thanks, Cate. Slept well but dreamed I was literally stuffing myself with deep-fried snacks and woke up feeling kind of sick. Guess my subconscious mind is solidly convinced I'm overeating. I have been having some extras the past few days so the scale is taking its sweet time to go back to my recent low weight but going back down it is so logically I can't be overeating. Kindness. Patience. It sucks that I'll have a plus for my monthly weigh-in on Sunday but being too strict or calling myself names only leads to more binging so we're not doing that.
 
Gaaaaah, I may need to change my dermatologist... It's super convenient to have them so close to where I live but I'm eating myself up in annoyance because I got the first appointment of the day to avoid having to wait stupidly long again, they didn't even start calling people in until 12 minutes past my appointment and the first person they called in arrived after the planned start of my appointment. I know getting angry doesn't help but I feel disrespected and unwanted and I'm bad at dealing with those feelings.
Ommmmmmmmmmmm...
 
I take that back: yes, I was called in 20 minutes late but the whole thing only took 6 minutes and didn't make me feel like a piece of meat, which is rare for these check-ups. If I remember to only book the earliest possible appointments and still mentally plan for a wait I'll be fine.
 
Llama said:
I take that back: yes, I was called in 20 minutes late but the whole thing only took 6 minutes and didn't make me feel like a piece of meat, which is rare for these check-ups. If I remember to only book the earliest possible appointments and still mentally plan for a wait I'll be fine.
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Oh good--glad it worked out in the end!
Llama said:
It sucks that I'll have a plus for my monthly weigh-in on Sunday but being too strict or calling myself names only leads to more binging so we're not doing that.
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So good to know and recognize those unhealthy patterns that just really don't work in the long term.
 
I'm glad it worked out in the end, Llama. It's a shame to have to change specialists when you're mostly happy with them.
 
Thanks Cate and Liza. I was so exhausted after work I thought I might puke. But today's an early shift, which is generally a bit easier, and the most stressful bits are relatively early on so I'll have time to calm down with my normal tasks after. I can do this 😯
 
Llama said:
Thanks Cate and Liza. I was so exhausted after work I thought I might puke. But today's an early shift, which is generally a bit easier, and the most stressful bits are relatively early on so I'll have time to calm down with my normal tasks after. I can do this 😯
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:grouphug: Oh that sounds terrible to be that exhausted. I hope today goes ok and you can get some good rest afterwards
 
Thanks Liza and Jojo. Spent the afternoon on the couch and am starting to come alive again! Would've liked to binge... But I didn't, and I'm glad.
 
Thanks Cate and Vic. Had a better day at work. And it's been raining this week! Don't know if it's enough for the trees yet but it feels like a good amount. My fancy raincoat and boots have been working hard for me.

Got up earlier this morning to make my wraps because I couldn't bring myself to do it last night. Hoped a good breakfast would give me the motivation to make a proper lunch and dinner (I was going to prep yesterday... see above) but I ended up having crackers and salami instead. Too many, but they ended up being lunch AND dinner so I guess it's not so bad calorie-wise.

Just noticed for the first time that my white hairs are getting visible even when it's past time for a haircut now, rather than just the day or two after a cut. Interesting how much easier I find it to accept white hair than I did the first crow's feet ten years ago.
Oh, also: a patient who hadn't been in for half a year or so noticed I'd lost weight, which was nice.
 
Yay for fancy raincoats, lovely rain, food prep, a better day at work, acceptance of the process of aging (I love my silver hair) & acknowledgement of your weight loss. Lovely!
 
Thanks Cate :grouphug:
I slept terribly; was anxious and hopeless, and I think it may have been a reaction to (dehydration due to) the low water and high sodium content of my food. So let's do better today.
A car just passed by and it sounded wet (if that's a thing you can say?) so I assume it's still raining. Which is most excellent for nature so I don't want to moan, but I realize I haven't moved in the past couple of days beyond walking to work and back and it probably plays a role in feeling so low right now. So today I'll do better on the food AND exercise front. I need to move and eat right-ish, even if I'm tired and it's raining, or I'll just feel more tired.
I also need to get up right now, even though I really don't want to... Sis1 is going on an early morning nature excursion today (which I'm jealous of!) so I need to make a Zoom link for family exercise, which always takes me a couple of minutes to figure out, and I need to eat at least some fruit before we start or I'll have no oomph whatsoever. And after that I need at least half an hour of sitting quietly because my stomach is weird. Up up!
 
Thanks Cate and Vic. Had a down day with things not going the way I wanted them to. Tried to make the best of it though. Had a chocolate egg with banana cream filling which turned out contain 0.4% real banana, which was enough to trigger an allergic reaction. Nothing big, thankfully, but it's been 7 hours and I'm still nauseated. Have I mentioned that - irrationally - nausea mskes me want to binge? Managed to distract myself until dinner though and it got easier after that.
 
Thanks for dropping by, Vic :)
More nightmares early on in the night but the second half was a lot better. Feeling fragile though, and not up to going far from civilization so a zoo trip plus park walk will have to do. On my way to the subway I passed around 100 police officers and I have no idea what's going on so it doesn't feel great but at least a dozen of them were having coffee at McDonald's so I guess whatever they're up to isn't all that urgent.

Edit: apparently 7 different protests are planned in the area today and the police is there to keep the groups separated. That doesn't feel scary at all... (/s) Think I'll take the long way home later.
 
If the protests grow to include my street we're in real trouble. I don't expect them to though. Apparently (as I would've known if I didn't avoid the news like the plague) right-wingers are protesting drag queen story time and leftwingers are counterprotesting. And the event isn't even happening in a public place. Not one single child whose parents don't already support openness and equality is going to have to listen to the unspeakable horrors of... (checks notes) a colorfully-dressed grown-up reading them a picture book about being nice to others and accepting them (and yourself) the way they are as long as they aren't hurting anyone.

But I spent two and a half hours outside anyway and am now on my way back home via another route. Thankfully Vienna's public transport network is dense and varied so I have options.
 
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