Little John's trying again. And again. Aaaand again.

Hey LJ, I´m glad to hear from you again but sorry to hear it´s for such crummy reasons :( I´m afraid I can´t give any fail-safe advice because I struggle a lot myself BUT I have decided to stay here. Even if I´m embarassed. Even if (when) I´m fed up. Even if I just want to forget about everything and have nothing positive to add I still log in and read what others have to say (to each other). And while I may not have become slender/consistent/perfect I have lost weight since coming here and I continue to do so. Long story short: we´re all in this together and we´re here for you.
 
Welcome back bud! I'm going to wait until I have a keyboard to write out some stuff, but know I'm super excited to see you and I will be here for you and others will too.
 
Dude, I was just thinking "Where is LJ" yesterday! I must have sensed you were coming back. haha! I'm also back after a 3 month long epic pig out. :oops: Glad to see you back!
 
Hi LJ. I agree with all of the above. We're here for you & for one another. I don't think we ever stop learning from our mistakes. I don't know any perfect people, that's for sure. We're all a work in progress & we keep trying. Cheers, Cate
 
Welcome back LJ! Tough spot though.

I suppose an incremental approach might be best here. I can tell you that "giving up" is of course major danger territory and doing so cost me at least a dozen years of my life (and they were my late 20s through 30s which should be good ones). I had REALLY given up on just about almost everything.

And that shit don't fly. There's good stuff in this world and "giving up" deprives you of lots of chances to experience it. No one deserves that sort of punishment, not even me.

You know the basics: eat less, move more. The specifics for your case are harder, but I suggest not to make things too complicated until you've been knocking out the basics for a bit. Eating the healthiest most nutritious types of calories are a really good idea, but eating less calories right now is far more important. Double cheeseburgers become cheeseburgers, slabs of ribs become half slabs of ribs, etc. It's doable.

Glad you're back, dude. You need anything, give me a holler.
 
Oaks - You get a 95%, It's ChATAM (Change A Habit Twice A Month). Thanks for coming back to cheer me on! I'm not ready for ChATAM yet, I need to tackle The Urge To Binge first. So far, on Day 3 I'm feeling good about it.

LaMaria - Well-put. I think I need to view this like an AA meeting (or at least my perception of them). Brag about my victories, but also acknowledge my defeats. I know I'm not the only one, but it can feel like it, especially when I'm avoiding the support network.

Q - Thanks man, looking forward to your thoughts.

Jen - Nice to be missed! I must have sensed it - appropriate to the book I'm reading, which is the sequel to The Shining, about Danny Torrance as an adult.

Stacy - Thank you!

Cate - Yup, mistakes will hopefully work for me this time around. One day at a time.

Vee - I knew I'd eventually snap out of it, I always do. I need to recognize that I know how to do it - confession and reconciliation. You're right about making realistic goals, and that might be what happens for the weekends, but when I'm at work I'm far less tempted and can feel pretty full on a small breakfast and medium lunch.

So like I said, 2 days down, both were successful, in my opinion. I'm transitioning to a single serving of 2% Greek/Icelandic/un-American yogurt for breakfast and a piece of fruit. Keeping my coffee the same (fairly creamy with stevia). Lunch so far has been reasonable, and with lots of water. Lots of water. Figure that to be under 500 calories. I have a small handful of nuts when I get home and do my best to eat 1-2 at a time instead of dumping them all down. And I haven't been feeling super hungry by dinner.

Victories so far:
I was home alone all day on Wednesday, and I managed to control my appetite (and drank probably a gallon of water in doing so).
Came home to an empty house yesterday with a still-warm batch of sugar cookies cooling in the kitchen. I told myself only 2, and had 3.
Had spaghetti and chicken meatballs for dinner, only ate half the spaghetti (and all the meatballs, but there were only 4 small ones).
Came in well under calorie goal yesterday, in spite of the cookies and small dish of ice cream last night.

Defeats so far:
I snuck a Milano cookie when no one was looking last night.
I put hot fudge on my ice cream.

Challenges coming up:
Going out with family tonight, which will include pizza. I'm hoping salad will be available, too.
Breakfast at my folks' tomorrow morning may involve bacon, sausage, French toast, among other things - hoping that our need to leave early will limit that.
Date night with my wife on Saturday night at a higher-end Italian restaurant. Hoping that there's some way to leave out the pasta and maybe double up on the veggies.
Sunday I need to start some kind of regular exercise routine. Starting's easy, day 2 can be more difficult to achieve.

Thanks again for checking in, everyone.
 
Good Italian restaurants tend to do great fish and marvelous veggie sides. Or at least they do here and in Italy...
 
Vee covered it on food. Gradual continual improvement is way easier than cold turkey or drastic changes.

With exercise don't get caught up with where you were. You don't need to and shouldn't try to rush back to where you'd gotten. Focus on forging the habit again by doing stupid easy stuff on a schedule. I decided on daily and some days it was touch my toes or do single jumping jack because it was time for bed and I'd forgot or I just plain didn't feel like doing anything. It won't make you hurt and it can quickly transition into something intense once the habit feels set. I exercise more now than at any time in my life and that's how I got there. Touching my toes or doing a single jumping jack led me to 443 days of running at least a mile a day.

You're not punishing yourself for your past misdeeds. You're rewarding your future self by taking a slow methodical approach toward being healthy. Future LJ is going to be so thankful to today's LJ. Just don't waste your time being pissed at old LJ. He was a good guy, he just lost his way for a bit.
 
LaMa, Cate - I took a quick look at the menu, and many choices for me! Downside (or upside): they have a great wine list, but I'm on a steady diet of Advil and Tylenol, and mixing those with alcohol is bad news. I reckon one glass will be OK, tho.

Cowboy - Feeling much better than I have in awhile, and that's a good thing.

Q - you're right, I'm not starting heavy. The rowing workout I downloaded starts at 25 minutes a day, at the equivalent of a brisk walk (max HR: 120 bpm, if memory serves).

Had pizza last night - didn't behave too well, but I managed to avoid a cookie binge, and I drank only water. I give myself a B- for last night.

Breakfast was, as expected, bacony goodness. I had 4 slices, which is bad, but only 3 small blueberry pancakes, and I skipped any sweetener in my coffee. B+

Lunch today was a small piece of whole wheat bread with a bit of cream cheese, and veggies tossed with shrimp and soy sauce. Quite filling, actually. Giving myself an A.
 
Hey, B´s are fine things and a long way away from failing the course :) Good job on both getting things turned in the right direction AND giving yourself credit.
 
:hurray:You're doin' really well with all the "challenges.."

My home is always temptation city bc hubby/son are not interested in health/wellness/weight loss.. Just me... lol
Same goes for family...

It can be pretty tough!

Hang in there and keep pushing! :seeya:

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Thanks LaMa and Stacy, it hasn't been easy to force the ship around, but not as hard I thought it would be.

Survived the weekend. Dinner at the Italian place went very well, I had a lot of seafood, not too much starch (I can't say no to the bread on the table, but I did stop at two pieces, one for mopping up the red sauce the clams were in). I skipped the "winter vegetable" hash that my salmon was on (aka: potatoes and other tubers). I did wind up having some wine.

I had a brutal mid-afternoon snack attack yesterday afternoon. We had a V-Day lunch that was quite healthy, but then lots of chocolate was shared, of course. And a big bag of M&Ms was left out while everyone but me took a nap. Soooooo, I ate more than I should of. Not quite a binge, but not quite portion control, either. Then I was nibbling on just about everything else I shouldn't have been. Sigh... Not beating myself up, just kind of disappointed in myself.

On the plus side, I started to row yesterday, after stretching my bridge-cable Achilles'. Made it a lot easier - my right foot naturally pokes out about 45 degrees, so when it's forced into a straight position too long, it gets pretty sore. Stretching relieves that, I just need to stay on top of it.

This week, I'm not predicting any problems. I could be wrong, but it's pretty cut-and-dry, and as long as I can visualize myself not fitting in an airplane seat while I'm thinking about seconds, I should be good to go.
 
Not mopping up clam juices is criminally wasteful and shows a lack of respect for both the animals and the chef. And let´s face it: V-day would have done a lot more damage if it had been two weeks ago, so you´re winning already ;)
 
~*WooHoo*~ for gettin' thru the weekend! :hurray:It's over!

I think many of us are sayin' .... A to the MEN! :D I know I am...lol

Have A Goal Reachin' Week! :waving:
 
LaMa - I agree, and this is one of the highest-regarded restaurants in the area. That's a chef I don't want to upset, let alone the ghosts of the clams.

Thanks Stacy!

Status update, still feeling good about reentry into the health pool. Been comfortable with it so far. Food-wise, I've been pretty good. Had a homemade frozen lunch yesterday which was quite satisfying. My snack of bread, hummus and cheddar (all in small amounts) wasn't a home-run, but it did hit the spot. Dinner was a big ol' salad and 2.5 slices of leftover pizza, and I had some ice cream for dessert. Other than morning coffee, all I drank all day was water, and I drank a LOT of it.

Breakfast today was a banana and coffee, lunch was homemade chili with some cheddar. Not sure what dinner will be, I suspect ice cream might be off the list, though.

Something else I ate was a result of a sort of a Russian roulette game of jelly beans with the family. Jelly Belly, as you may know, has more flavors than Carl Sagan has turtlenecks, and they managed to make a game of it. You spin a needle and it lands on a color of bean, you pick one out and it might be a good flavor, or it might be a horrid flavor (e.g. brown could be "chocolate pudding" or "canned dog food", beige could be "caramel corn" or "rotten egg"). It was awful. My son ate an entire skunk flavored jelly bean, his breath was a nightmare, and I pity whomever had the honor of changing that diaper - especially with the red color side effect of the meds he's taking for an ear infection!

Anyway, back on track, I rowed again last night. Nothing amazing, but it's a start. I'm on the fence of taking a break tonight or not (target = 5 times a week, which should be achievable), since I have a little woodworking to do and I'm plumb-tuckered out.
 
You'll need all that water for rowing. Also +5,000 for the Carl Sagan reference. I met a chicken when I was in Austin named Carl Sagan. She belonged to a wild tea entrepreneur.
 
Q - I'm going to ask for another +5,000 for the obscure Beastie Boys lyric reference (Start at 1:02 if you're not a BB kinda guy).

Happy with yesterday in spite of not rowing. Under the calorie goal, lots of water, went to bed at a reasonable time. All's well.
 
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