Lisa's Final Countdown, The Good Days, the Bad, & the Ugly

tinkerbella said:
Hi lisa :):)

Thanx for pooping by my diary - thought i would check out yours!
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:smilielol5: LMAO!!! Honest Allie, it wasn't me!!!



*hugz* ty for comin by and givin me a good laugh :D I typo all the time but that was a good one, lol
And yea good advice...I need to set up some lower steps to work up two those two longer goals I set.
 
So I started to thank everyone and just starting with everyone who posted since last night the list was incredibly long! Makes me feel so loved :) Thanks guys for taking the time to check up on me so often.

I just hope I don't let myself and all of you down. I talk a good talk and right now I mean it but one of the reasons I'm so nervous is I see what's coming. It's already hectic now as it is trying to move but my college classes will be starting up mid August, 4 days a week and I work full time so I'm just afraid I'm gonna start off good and then it's gonna all end up in the crapper. Seriously my biggest downfall is getting overloaded and then not having time for everything and time to plan healthy meals and exercise. I know I'm just going to have to make time for it but thats why I'm already trying to figure out some back up plans for busy days.

So my food today so far:

Left over steak from last night :D mmmmm
Rotisserie chicken from the store and a deviled egg

And to add some variety I thought it would be fine to finally add berries in and see how it goes so we has strawberries and cream for dessert.

Trying to eat healthy with everything in boxes..yea fun. So I felt pretty good today...I didn't ache all over like I expected despite the bread. But wow last night...my feet and ankles were blown up from balloons....definite water retention...probably connected somehow with all that water I was chugging the day before, lol.

I called all my utilities today trying to get days set for switching stuff over and found out we aren't going to be able to get our internet back on right when we move in because they are backed up. So with us being so busy moving next week and then no internet I may be MIA for a bit after this weekend. Don't worry though, I'll be back :)
 
Hi Jello, sorry for not visiting your journal earlier, I have just been reading through it, and you seem to be doing really well. I hope you enjoy your swimming, I try to go 3-4 times a week, and have not long got back home from the pool tonight. Sorry about not speaking to you in the chat room, but I am a complete novice at these things. My friend informed me that there was a small screen at the bottom of the chat room page where you typed a message and it would appear on the screen. So if we meet again I will know how to say Hi. Well happy 4th of July to you.:waving:
 
Hey soup :D Yea no biggie on the chat screen, I figured you weren't at your computer or something. Glad to meet somebody else doing swimming, got any tips for me? Do you just do laps or have a certain routine? I won't be doing it at a gym so there's no water aerobics option unless I come up with something on my own. I still have to get through the next week before I even start though...everything I own is in boxes...I bet everyone's tired of me sayin that lol. Oh god...I wonder if my swimsuit even fits!
 
Getting overloaded can cause us to forget the most important thing...ourselves! I'm sure if you keep your mind on it, you can find a little time, and once you get into the grove of things you'll be just fine. As for not having time to plan out meals and whatnot, you could always make some dishes on the weekends and throw them in containers to take with ya on the go so that you have something healthy. And if that doesn't work, then just eat in moderation and keep track of what you are putting in your body.
 
Yea I'm just going to have to figure it out and be diligent...I'm going to try and do some freezer cooking after I get moved before the semester starts and talk to my husband about taking over on some nights. And like you said, do my best and use moderation. I just want to do everything I can to make sure I'm not between classes, starving and find myself in a fast food drive through window. I refuse to eat that crap anymore. I also don't want my blood sugar levels to get out of wack like they were before...made it really hard in class sometimes to focus, remember things, and take exams....I really thought I was getting stupid for a while there before I found out what was wrong because it was like walking around in a fog where you can't concentrate.
 
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Nom nom nom, cheating. Nothing beats bread does it? Cheat and enjoy it, I say, but you know how that's working out for me!

Freezer cooking is also about the best thing ever, but I'm too greedy to do it too often. Milk freezes well though so if it goes off you just pop it away until you want a batch of scones (this tip is so inappropriate!). 'Off' milk makes by far the best scones -- and it's certainly not good for anything else!
 
Pancake Batter said:
Nom nom nom, cheating. Nothing beats bread does it? Cheat and enjoy it, I say, but you know how that's working out for me!

Freezer cooking is also about the best thing ever, but I'm too greedy to do it too often. Milk freezes well though so if it goes off you just pop it away until you want a batch of scones (this tip is so inappropriate!). 'Off' milk makes by far the best scones -- and it's certainly not good for anything else!
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good thing I haven't the slightest idea how to make scones, lol
 
Hey Lisa! I just wanted to say thanks for stopping by my journal, and I was just checking yours out. Looks like you have a really good plan for yourself! Having the support of your hubby is awesome and really helpful. I can attest to the difficulties of dieting while in the midst of moving! We just moved this past May and it was exceedingly tough on the diet. The fact that you're planning your eating before you move is awesome! I'm sure that you can do this - just continue on a mindful path and be most mindful of respect and love for yourself as you do so.
 
So...I'm not having such a good day. Ever since I went low carb I've felt so in control, eating when I'm hungry and not caring about food that much in between. I mean I've enjoyed it but haven't felt like I had to stuff my face uncontrollably and I could stop any time. Today I feel like I just want to eat and if there was anything good in the kitchen I'd have just kept going.

And I just deleted a whole paragraph as I was writing this realizing why this happened. I'm stressed, low on sleep, and let my hunger go too long so by the time I went into the kitchen I was grabbing whatever. I'm waiting too long to eat again and not having stuff on hand. Glad I started to journal about it because it was pretty plain in black and white type, lol. I still don't like that feeling though...that even though I was eating foods I'm ok to eat, it still felt like I walked in there to binge. I made some sugarfree whipped cream and got a low carb candybar (chocoperfection). Then I had some low carb peanutbutter, a spoon of it on my candybar. After that I opened the fridge and grabbed some cold cuts and avocado ...all stuff I'm ok to have in moderation and I'm probably still under my carbs for the day but I felt like I was in the kitchen binging the whole time.

And I'm also concerned because I feel like I've had sugar cravings for sweets today at the heart of this whole urge to go binge...maybe cuz of stress and tired but I did eat strawberries yesterday. Guess I won't know if that's gonna be a problem until I don't have other possible things going on that could be suspect.

Anyway I'm not getting enough sleep, not getting anything done, and I feel like although I'm not going off my diet, I'm starting to eat on the run just cuz I'm working in a mostly packed kitchen. Doin my best right now but I think I need to make a point to sit down to at least one good meal tomorrow.

Oh and I miss my hubby :( We work exact opposite of eachother so I got to see him briefly when he got up today before he left for work and I won't see him again until Monday morning. We won't even see eachother in passing because I leave before he gets home and he leaves before I get home :( I think thats whats buggin me..and he's on this shift for a while now until they get some other client then he can have his night shift back that matches mine. You'd think after 7yrs I could go two days a week and no biggie, but I hate it and it sucks. I miss him already...we never seem to get to spend 4th of July together either so the fact it's a holiday probably isn't helping.

And now I'm whining...definitely another sign that something is goin on with me cuz I'm very emotional today..I can feel it even though I've got a lid on it for the most part. I hate days like this. At least it's not EVERY day anymore but I really hate having p.c.o.s. and insulin resistance. I hate not feeling like myself and in control...and I really hope this feeling passes by tomorrow and doesn't feel worse. At least I know there's nothing I can stuff in my face thats gonna help, I just gotta ride it out and hopefully getting enough sleep will take care of it.
 
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Hey there :)

I guess I've been a little MIA the past few days... Work was driving me insane and I guess I just needed a break from everything.

Sorry to hear about the out of control feelings you've been having lately. That is never fun. I think not waiting too long in between eating would be a good idea to keep an eye on. I know if I go too long without eating I sometimes wig out and feel like crap. Hang in there, your in this for the long haul, and that I am sure about ;)

Good luck on the move, that has got to bring about it's own stress. Just take everything one step at a time and try not to get overwhelmed. That's great about the swimming. It's an excellent exercise and non-impact as well, so I feel like it will be a great thing for you.

Have an excellent holiday,
Sam:)
 
Thanks Sam..actually the move is pretty much all of the stress, directly and indirectly. I'll be so happy when we're done moving out of this place and I can unpack on my own timeline and go back to having meals on the table. With my husband not home this weekend at all and us moving Tuesday I'm in limbo on the shopping.

I just got done packing food for all day tomorrow for my husband at work for his 16 hour shift ;/. I didn't want to spend the money today but tomorrow I'm going to be doing alot more cleaning and packing up the last of it so I think I'm going to call a local wing place and get some wings. They have regular ones with no breading and they're good.

Anyway I don't like being under tons of pressure from looming deadlines...we don't have that much left to do but the fact I haven't gotten done what I thought I should is stressing me out. So tomorrow I need to buckle down...I should have my husband take the computer power cord so I don't even get on here tomorrow, lol.
 
Hey Lisa :). I am amazed at how well you have been doing while in a move. I completely went off my diet for 2 weeks during my last move..we ordered out every day and I never exercised once.

IMO, it could be the low carb that's starting to get to you. I agree that going low carb can be helpful for weight loss and for your insulin issues, but I do believe your body can handle some carbs sometimes without any ill effects at all. I mean, its probably best to be minimized for someone in your situation, but remember that its not poison. It wont kill you if you have some sometimes. And definitely I would be eating as much fruit as I wanted. You will still lose plenty of weight.

Thanks for bringing up the freezer cooking. I do that to a certain extent already here and there, but I've never sat down and actually had a whole 2 weeks planned out like that and ready to go. After reading your post I researched it a bit on the net and got some good ideas. I think I'm going to give that a shot. I may go shopping today and do some cooking as the weather is looking lousy.

And remember, just that you're focusing on your health is a positive change in the right direction. Your doing great!
 
douknowjello said:
So...I'm not having such a good day. Ever since I went low carb I've felt so in control, eating when I'm hungry and not caring about food that much in between. I mean I've enjoyed it but haven't felt like I had to stuff my face uncontrollably and I could stop any time. Today I feel like I just want to eat and if there was anything good in the kitchen I'd have just kept going.

And I just deleted a whole paragraph as I was writing this realizing why this happened. I'm stressed, low on sleep, and let my hunger go too long so by the time I went into the kitchen I was grabbing whatever. I'm waiting too long to eat again and not having stuff on hand. Glad I started to journal about it because it was pretty plain in black and white type, lol. I still don't like that feeling though...that even though I was eating foods I'm ok to eat, it still felt like I walked in there to binge. I made some sugarfree whipped cream and got a low carb candybar (chocoperfection). Then I had some low carb peanutbutter, a spoon of it on my candybar. After that I opened the fridge and grabbed some cold cuts and avocado ...all stuff I'm ok to have in moderation and I'm probably still under my carbs for the day but I felt like I was in the kitchen binging the whole time.

And I'm also concerned because I feel like I've had sugar cravings for sweets today at the heart of this whole urge to go binge...maybe cuz of stress and tired but I did eat strawberries yesterday. Guess I won't know if that's gonna be a problem until I don't have other possible things going on that could be suspect.

Anyway I'm not getting enough sleep, not getting anything done, and I feel like although I'm not going off my diet, I'm starting to eat on the run just cuz I'm working in a mostly packed kitchen. Doin my best right now but I think I need to make a point to sit down to at least one good meal tomorrow.

Oh and I miss my hubby :( We work exact opposite of eachother so I got to see him briefly when he got up today before he left for work and I won't see him again until Monday morning. We won't even see eachother in passing because I leave before he gets home and he leaves before I get home :( I think thats whats buggin me..and he's on this shift for a while now until they get some other client then he can have his night shift back that matches mine. You'd think after 7yrs I could go two days a week and no biggie, but I hate it and it sucks. I miss him already...we never seem to get to spend 4th of July together either so the fact it's a holiday probably isn't helping.

And now I'm whining...definitely another sign that something is goin on with me cuz I'm very emotional today..I can feel it even though I've got a lid on it for the most part. I hate days like this. At least it's not EVERY day anymore but I really hate having p.c.o.s. and insulin resistance. I hate not feeling like myself and in control...and I really hope this feeling passes by tomorrow and doesn't feel worse. At least I know there's nothing I can stuff in my face thats gonna help, I just gotta ride it out and hopefully getting enough sleep will take care of it.
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WOW BABE.......I have TONS of those CRAPPY days, and I COMPLETELY understand where you are COMING from.....

...You know that feeling of BINGING happens to me too, and I notice I used to do that a lot, stand in front of the fridge, grab a slice of this, slice of that, spoon of this, spoon of that.....and I WOULD feel the same FEELING of binging, and THIS is NOT actually allowed is it....?!!?!

THEN I realized how GOOD it felt one day TO PLACE that LITTLE slice of HAM, that SPOON of PEANUT BUTTER, that ONE OLIVE, THE ONE cracker....all offfff THAT LITTLE stuff....on a LITTLE SALAD plate.........and HOW QUICKLY that feeling of EATING formally and EVEN if it is STANDING and it takes ONE SECOND to EAT......

...the purpose of HAVING the little plate I realized, ALLOWED me to ACKNOWLEDGE that I was EATING, and actually change that FEELING of BINGING, to a feeling of CONGRATULATING myself, for :

1) EATING a SMALL portion
2) acknowledging the SMALL portion and REALIZING that I can NOW count it in for food eaten throughout the day
3) and for having HEALTHY FOODS on that LITTLE plate :iagree:

....and I also COMPLETELY understand you on missing your husband, as that feeling as well comes over me too, when MY SCHEDULE conflicts with my bf's and WE LIVE TOGETHER as well, in DEC. going on 4 years.....but still I TOO MISS him and it would cause me to CRY and whine and FEEL LONELEY......and ONE DAY, talking to him, I REALIZED it was just because HE WAS a HUGE part of MY HAPPINESS, and to have our schedules conflict and not be able to SEE and HUG each other, was TAKING away MY HAPPINESS................:( I understand you...........WE ARE HERE for you! :grouphug:
 
Blancita said:
Hey Lisa :). I am amazed at how well you have been doing while in a move. I completely went off my diet for 2 weeks during my last move..we ordered out every day and I never exercised once.

IMO, it could be the low carb that's starting to get to you. I agree that going low carb can be helpful for weight loss and for your insulin issues, but I do believe your body can handle some carbs sometimes without any ill effects at all. I mean, its probably best to be minimized for someone in your situation, but remember that its not poison. It wont kill you if you have some sometimes. And definitely I would be eating as much fruit as I wanted. You will still lose plenty of weight.

Thanks for bringing up the freezer cooking. I do that to a certain extent already here and there, but I've never sat down and actually had a whole 2 weeks planned out like that and ready to go. After reading your post I researched it a bit on the net and got some good ideas. I think I'm going to give that a shot. I may go shopping today and do some cooking as the weather is looking lousy.

And remember, just that you're focusing on your health is a positive change in the right direction. Your doing great!
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Hey I really appreciate you posting this, and I think you're definitely right. I wasn't on yesterday to see (hubby hid computer cord for me, lol) but with only a few days left before the move I finally broke.

I was like "screw it, I can't DO this". Not that I was throwing all healthy eating out the window but the low carb is going to have to wait until I have a kitchen to cook in and my insulin levels are just gonna have to deal with it. I went to breakfast with a friend and had french toast and bacon. On my way home I bought BREAD,lol. Oh and cereal and milk, some fruit and yea I had ice cream but instead of buying a whole gallon I got the ben and jerry's "half baked" pint size and only ate half, left the rest for hubby. Then last night I stopped at taco bell and got a grilled stuffed burrito. Maybe not a healthy decision but I used to order 3 things off the menu instead of just one.

This morning I had some breakfast burritos and for lunch I had a sandwhich and a small one serving container of mixed fruit they sell in product. I guarantee with all the cleaning I'm doing and going up and down this dang st ep ladder that I'm getting extra exercise in, lol. Speaking of which, I checked walmart today and they DO have the bike I want in store that I saw online...actually two different ones.

And when I DO start up again though, after all I've read in this forum I think I'm going to figure out my BMI and all that stuff and also keep track of calories as well. Anyway, amazingly I'm not feeling too bad but with the diet change my swollen feet and ankles have come back. My anxiety has come down alot though when I took having to cook and make a big ass mess off my plate of daily things I have to keep up with. Tomorrow we're splurging big....grilled cheese sandwhiches and tomato soup :X

As far as the fruit goes I'm still unsure about that. When I'm back on routine and not completely stressed out I'm going to have to try the lower sugar fruits again and see if its ok if I eat enough protein. I keep reading though that alot of diabetics can't tolerate fruit because their body sees no difference between the fructose and the sugar in a snickers bar, regardless of the other health benefits. So like I said, everyone is different but I know one thing....if having fruit sets me off like it did the other day its not worth it. I'll just have to live without it until my weight is down enough that this whole thing reverses itself. Not like it's forever :)
 
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douknowjello,

Sometimes it's ok to have something that isn't completely healthy. Not because it aids in weight loss (because it doesn't) but because mentally you don't feel deprived of it. As long you do it in moderation and not go back to it every single day, then you'll be fine. Sometimes I have trouble telling myself that, it's easier to pick out a negative in a positive situation, than a positive in a negative situation. That's something i'm working toward to, I still get negative thoughts but they're not dominant over the positive ones anymore. Trying to stay positive most of the time will help you now and help you in future. I hope this made sense. lol Take care!

I know you're not really being negative right now, but I guess i'm just trying to push positive vibes to you, I guess. haha

V
 
*V* said:
douknowjello,

Sometimes it's ok to have something that isn't completely healthy. Not because it aids in weight loss (because it doesn't) but because mentally you don't feel deprived of it. As long you do it in moderation and not go back to it every single day, then you'll be fine. Sometimes I have trouble telling myself that, it's easier to pick out a negative in a positive situation, than a positive in a negative situation. That's something i'm working toward to, I still get negative thoughts but they're not dominant over the positive ones anymore. Trying to stay positive most of the time will help you now and help you in future. I hope this made sense. lol Take care!

I know you're not really being negative right now, but I guess i'm just trying to push positive vibes to you, I guess. haha

V
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I appreciate it :) And I completely agree...I'm finding having something once in a while and enjoying it is not a problem, like the other night when my hubby and I went out to dinner I really enjoyed myself.

I just don't like this physical out of wack thing caused by the p.c.o.s. and diabetes problems. I haven't experienced it in a while before last week and it's not fun...all I can describe it as is like when a person goes too long without eating and then pushes it that much further ...that feeling when your body gets desperate for food and you could knaw somebodies arm off.

Problem is this feeling feels like hunger but it isn't and there's no food that's going to satisfy it. The anxiety caused by the sugar and hormone fluctuations only makes it worse. I'm glad I didn't give into it the other day because I knew that stuffing my face was only going ot make me sick, not stop the feeling. I just hate that feeling regardless...even though I took control, I didn't feel IN control. Its like a headache that won't ease up. But again its still my fault because I'm sure the combination of stress, exhaustion, and putting off eating too long at times is what brought it on.

We've set aside the low carb eating until after this week and we're moved but I'm still trying to not go hog wild. Right now I'm starving though so I'm going to make another attempt to get hubby to take me to breakfast because my entire kitchen is in boxes.

Bottom line, it always comes back to the fact I have to take are of myself or suffer the consequences. Thats everyone though, lol
 
You may not want this advice, but I'd advise against the low-carb thing. In my opinion it's not the healthiest way to drop pounds, and I think that type of diet really encourages binge eating. I've done it and lost 30-40lbs at a time, then gained it right back and then some.

My advice would be a healthy balanced diet. Stuff like whole grain carbs, lean meats like turkey/chiken/fish, lowfat dairy, fruits and veggies, nuts, beans, evoo, etc. I think it's easier to stay on for a prolonged period of time, and doesnt really encourage binge eating as much.

Just my advice, take it with a grain of salt! ;)
 
I appreciate everyone's support and I am definitely going to be considering not going so low on carbs when we start back up and keeping track of the calories as well and seeing what I can add in. I just think though that I've given people the wrong idea. Low carb has a bad rap but honestly maybe I'm calling it the wrong thing because after being in this forum I don't see that I eat that different from alot of others. I do get busy just like everyone and sometimes put off eating too long but not on purpose and not to lose weight, and thats only been recently with the move. Yes my carb instake is lower but when I'm eating more protein and cutting out the high starchy foods and sugar, I'm just not as hungry. Ever since my blood sugar evened out and I've been getting treated for the p.c.o.s, my life has not revolved around food. That's why I was so upset the other day, I do not like that feeling and whatever I did to set everything out of balance is something I need to figure out and not do again.

But honestly my low carb diet can't be put in there as blame. I've had several people tell me after reading that thats why they don't like low carb but in my journal anyone can see I was not staying inline with my diet. I'm sure stress and exhaustion was also contributing but I had also gone to dinner two nights before and completely blown off my diet. Then the day before I had also decided to add a few things to try and test my limits of what I could tolerate, including fruit. Thats me, always trying to see what I can get away with. I even do this with milk and citrus fruit, which I know I'm allergic to. Sometimes I can get away with it in small amounts but other times it takes next to nothing for me to have an allergic reaction so every time I eat those foods I know I may have to pay the consequences.

But if that means I have to go back to the way I've felt the last few years its not worth it. There is no food that is worth feeling the way I did before I changed my eating habits the last few months. I may have only lost ten pounds but within the first week of cutting out certain foods my sugar levels balanced out I stopped feeling exhausted every second of the day and I stopped aching from head to toe, in my joints and having horrible back pain. And if those weren't reasons enough, the mood swings stopped and I stopped being a crazy bitch to my husband. I was able to eat a meal with out having stomach cramps and the diarrhea I'd suffered from daily for over a year stopped. My skin cleared up, I was able to take exams without the foggy thinking and blanking out on information I had memorized...for that matter I was actually attending classes and not skipping on days I was in pain for the simple reason I couldn't face the walk across the parking lot and up the hill. So if certain foods aren't a part of my diet anymore to keep me symptom free, so be it.


So please, I don't want anyone to stop posting their opinions and support. I may not agree or just may not be ready to hear it like Shaun said but sometimes I come back to things later on when I need them. I just don't want anyone to worry that I've locked myself into an unhealthy diet for weight loss results and am unwilling to change. I'm doing this right now for the simple reason I DO feel better most of the time. As I lose weight and my body tries to balance out back normal I may have to completely re-evaluate what I'm eating but up until the other day I felt great. I just may have to wait alot longer before I can tolerate fruit in my diet for now. When I changed what I was eating I feel like I got a part of my daily life back. Now I want all of it and weight loss is whats going to get me there but I'm not going to ignore my health to do it.
 
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