Lindseybot3k's Diary

WOW! I can't believe that lady was such a JERK. (I would use other words, but I wanted to keep it PG)

I would've expressed myself to her and told her where to go at the same time. She had no right to be rude to you. And you can tell her that she needs to speak nicer to you, because she has no right to be disrespectful in any situation.
 
Mal- I could start my own club, but I would have to figure out how to go about it to get it school-sponsored, and I'd probably have to get a falculty sponsor.

Bmohearn- I know! Today I'm going to send her an e-mail telling her that I quit and thanks, but no thanks. You'd think that when a student who is obese comes to something wanting help losing weight she'd be a bit more nicer!

I'm extremely disappointed that this program didn't turn out like I thought it would...I was so hopeful that it would be a bit of a savior for me and give me the here at home support I really need and I want, but I was proven wrong. It's rare when I hope and actually believe that things will work out for the best...I have such little faith in people and my expectations are so low for things and for people to be good. After it and this morning as I write the email, I have been close to crying over it...but that's okay, I've done this alone here at home for over a year, and I have great support here.

In some bad news....at That Thing, because it is simply not good enough to have the Biggest Loser name attached to it, the scale said 297...that cannot be right, but okay, since it was a digital scale and I trust those more than the doctor-like ones I have trouble reading, I'm going to move my ticker back there. This weekend I'm going home so I can get a better read and maybe steal that one...I know my mom barely uses it.

I think I need to higher my calories...I've busted my butt way too hard this January to be at 297! I think I'm going to aim for 2000, but that's going to be hard with the cafeteria. I thought the elliptical would be hard and I'm doing it three times a week now!



Here is the e-mail I wrote her:

Hi, this is Lindsey {Insert last name here}. I've given it some thought but I'm sorry to say that I don't think I can continue with the program and I am dropping out. I don't think it's fair to the others in the program for an outsider like me to be a part of it and I have looked into my finances and I can't afford the trainer on my own, plus there is the fact that I have been in the process of losing weight for almost a year and half now. Thank you for the offer though. I will drop by Tuesday as I go to my counseling appointment and give you back the binder so someone else can use it.

Thank you,

Lindsey.
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I just want to sucker punch that lady for being so rude. Don't sweat the 297. You've lost so much. Weigh fluctuates... it always has and always will. Keep your chin up!
 
She sent me another email like right after I sent that one, telling me to rethink it. I'm still 98% sure that I'm not going to do it. She already knows about how I don't each much because of the way I reacted when she showed me how many calories I supposedly need to eat (2379) daily. The email seemed much nicer than how she treated me Tuesday but that still doesn't make me feel better about the whole thing.

Bmohearn: I'm still proud of myself for reaching 297. When I began I really didn't think I'd ever make it down under 300 as much as I wanted it. I'm just disappointed that the results I thought I had were wrong or a fluke.
 
Tonight my mother is coming to pick me up...she's coming earlier than normal because she wants to take me and Nathan, my little brother, to this Chinese food place we used to go to...I guess I'm going to have to eat less than normal for breakfast and lunch that way I don't go too crazy over my calorie intake. Weekends at home get me into trouble...but atleast this means I could either steal the scale or buy myself one.
 
So I have this pair of corduroy pants that I wear sometimes...I've had these since ninth grade, but I wouldn't wear them for quite sometime because there are holes in them. Now since I'm desperate for pants, I wear them every now and again, and today.....damn, I wore them and they're getting to the point where I shouldn't wear them because they're falling off my hips.
 
I went home this weekend...I ate so much that I shouldn't have and I paid for it dearly...let's just say that i got reacquainted with my toilet.

Yesterday I went to the movies and the mall with some of my friends who are still in high school. I had a slight breakdown after being dragged into some stores that make me feel even more so like crap than other stores, but my one friend who kind of gets my scenario was there. Later on we went into American Eagle's girls underwear store, and um...

I have normal people panties. Panties from a store that does not have a plus sized section, a store where you can not buy plus sizes what so ever, even online, panties from a store that most normal eighteen year olds can shop at. Yes, they're the largest size the store carries, but they're an XL. One X, not two!
 
Congrats! That must be an awesome feeling. I can't really fit well into any of to AE jeans though. I'm a size 16- and they don't really carry that size. lol. I can fit into their sweat pants though. (Thank God for stretchy pants!)

Have a happy night!
 
((((((((hugs))))))))) I hate shopping...sometimes...

I went into Victoria secret to get fitted, she gave me size then said, "but we have nothing for you here in YOUR SIZE"

I wanted to crawl under the rug!!

good job on the loose fitting pants!!!!
 
Jillzy_2008 said:
((((((((hugs))))))))) I hate shopping...sometimes...

I went into Victoria secret to get fitted, she gave me size then said, "but we have nothing for you here in YOUR SIZE"

I wanted to crawl under the rug!!

good job on the loose fitting pants!!!!
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Wow. I'd be really pissed off if someone took a rude tone with me when I was shopping. I"d be like... back off you anorexic b**ch!!
 
LOL, Bmohearn!

I'm just glad that there is a place where I can go and not feel weird and buy the same things as other girls my age and not have to go the special department!

And as for Victoria's Secret, Jillzy,...their largest size is like a 40C or D, and it's like looking for gold....sometimes you might find one! My bust measurement is like 39 and I doubt I could get it on! I hate going into there, it was the store that really broke me. Maybe someday I'll be able to shop there.
 
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lindseybot3k said:
LOL, Bmohearn!

And as for Victoria's Secret, Jillzy,...their largest size is like a 40C or D, and it's like looking for gold....sometimes you might find one! My bust measurement is like 39 and I doubt I could get it on! I hate going into there, it was the store that really broke me. Maybe someday I'll be able to shop there.
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Keep your chin up. That is my goal... to look sexy in lingerie from there... and look good with no clothes. :smilielol5: I want to look good for my boyfriend.

Victoria secrets depresses me. And my family keeps getting me gift cards there... because I am very heavy chested (38 D) and I have trouble finding comfortable bras. So I have only spent $12 of the $75 I got there for Christmas. I won't even go into dressing rooms to try bras on because I hate looking at myself naked.

We will get through this together Lindsey!
 
My family knows better than to get me Victoria's Secret gift cards...I only go in there when I'm dragged in with friends, not even look at their makeup or perfume. They usually give me cash, except for my father who gave me Target and Old Navy gift cards for Christmas.

Yesterday when I went to Walmart to get some groceries for the dorm, I finally bought me my own scale...and this morning after I showered I got on it and it said 290! That's officially 60 pounds down...24 of it after joining Sparkpeople. Hopefully before the end of the semester I can drop another 20-30...If I reach 20 that would mean 80 pounds down...30 would mean 90 pounds down! I'm hoping by the next semester I'll be around 250.


Hey. I just realized! This is my 300th post!
 
lindseybot3k said:
I have normal people panties. Panties from a store that does not have a plus sized section, a store where you can not buy plus sizes what so ever, even online, panties from a store that most normal eighteen year olds can shop at. Yes, they're the largest size the store carries, but they're an XL. One X, not two!
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Great accomplishment :) well done...
 
Thanks, everybody.

Yesterday I was hanging out with my friend who is a bad influence when it comes to food and not exercising who is a good thirty or more pounds heavier than I and she said something about going on a diet...I told her if she was serious and wanted to I would help her. I'm not expecting for that to go through with it one bit; this girl since I've known her has changed a lot and is into a lot of things that she shouldn't be and hanging out with people she shouldn't be.
 
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