AngelicaHope
New member
hello^^
i am back =P
and have fun traveling girl!
cant wait to see you after here again =]
i am back =P
and have fun traveling girl!
cant wait to see you after here again =]
Lea Jnice's Diary
- Thread starter LeaJnice
- Start date
Derrick
New member
Lea, you still checking in every once in a while?
Don't worry if you gained some weight back, you can quickly lose most of it if you get serious again. I got down to 194.0 on April 3rd but over the next two months I got back up to 200.5 lbs. In only 8 or 9 days of going at it hardcore again, I am back down to 194.5. Six pounds in less than 2 weeks is pretty good for me. I have never been one to lose super fast. It seems a lot of people can lose a decent amount the first week or two getting back into a good diet and exercise routine.
Let us know how things are going.
Derrick
Don't worry if you gained some weight back, you can quickly lose most of it if you get serious again. I got down to 194.0 on April 3rd but over the next two months I got back up to 200.5 lbs. In only 8 or 9 days of going at it hardcore again, I am back down to 194.5. Six pounds in less than 2 weeks is pretty good for me. I have never been one to lose super fast. It seems a lot of people can lose a decent amount the first week or two getting back into a good diet and exercise routine.
Let us know how things are going.
Derrick
LeaJnice
New member
Its been a year.......
June of last year was the time I started my weight loss journey. So as it started off well it didn't end well. Quote from last year
"I have given myself 16 months to lose 100 lbs total"
Its been 12 and I have lost 53 lbs. I don't think I can loose 50 more in 4 months. I honestly am not going to try to. When your a disorder eater your whole life its hard to just stick to a healthy diet forever.(how many kids do you know that think they are fat at 5,well besides most of us)
To just pick a date and say I am going to eat healthy for the rest of my life seemed like a good idea... How many times does an addict have a relapse before they cut the habit forever. It takes therapy and a want to change to kick the habit. So thats what im doing. I am fixing my issues from the inside out. Figuring out why I eat or don't eat. Why I would go back and forth between the two. or why I would go from overly exercising and filling out food journals. When I was doing it "the healthy way" "the way your supposed to" tracking food, and burning calories. Eating 1500 calories,raw food,and water all day long. By looking at me people have no idea the amount of work I had to put in the gym. More than most "Naturally skinny" people I know do.
I'm not trying to make this a cop out,but I just have realized calories in verses calories out can't fix me. Weight loss,sex,not eating,bingeing,purging,excessively working out,filling out food journals,drinking alcohol,smoking cigars,kissing girls,getting a quick high by controlling things.(im a control freak BTW I just didn't know it) whatever it may be. They are just distractions. Distractions keeping me from feeling my feelings. Which causes me to have meltdowns and live in the gym. "because when I am thin I will be happy" riiiiiiiight...
right Lea when your 130 lbs your going to magically be happy and you will never have anymore problems. When someone places a pizza in my face I wont want to eat the whole thing at 130lbs because I will be thin and invensable. No more fat girl problems riiiiiight.... I'm always going to have issues with food in general. You don't need pot to survive,you don't need alcohol,you don't need crack or coke. You have to eat and it will always be around. Its always around. How many fast food places do we pass a day?Once I forever deal with the issues behind my problems then I can work on the weight loss. I have a weight loss nutritionist that I will meet with half way through my treatment. My goal is to be healthy,thin,sexy,fierce. I just know that I will meet my goal when its time. Timing is everything.
Also I shouldn't be ashamed. I lost over 50lbs. I did that. Me. No one can say they did it for me. I did it for me and It was hard as hell. I have a ways to go,but I would rather take 5 years to become healthy forever than continue on this roller coaster for the rest of my life. I don't care if people aren't proud of me. I am proud of me and right now at this moment I am all the matters.
Photo from hubbys b-day 2008
2nd photo from hubbys b-day 2009
3rd photo is my man eater face.
4th photo is a wedding shot. MOOO 2007
Thank you all for checking in on me. It means a lot. I don't have that many people in my life that know how hard this has been for me. Much love
Lea
June of last year was the time I started my weight loss journey. So as it started off well it didn't end well. Quote from last year
"I have given myself 16 months to lose 100 lbs total"
Its been 12 and I have lost 53 lbs. I don't think I can loose 50 more in 4 months. I honestly am not going to try to. When your a disorder eater your whole life its hard to just stick to a healthy diet forever.(how many kids do you know that think they are fat at 5,well besides most of us)
To just pick a date and say I am going to eat healthy for the rest of my life seemed like a good idea... How many times does an addict have a relapse before they cut the habit forever. It takes therapy and a want to change to kick the habit. So thats what im doing. I am fixing my issues from the inside out. Figuring out why I eat or don't eat. Why I would go back and forth between the two. or why I would go from overly exercising and filling out food journals. When I was doing it "the healthy way" "the way your supposed to" tracking food, and burning calories. Eating 1500 calories,raw food,and water all day long. By looking at me people have no idea the amount of work I had to put in the gym. More than most "Naturally skinny" people I know do.
I'm not trying to make this a cop out,but I just have realized calories in verses calories out can't fix me. Weight loss,sex,not eating,bingeing,purging,excessively working out,filling out food journals,drinking alcohol,smoking cigars,kissing girls,getting a quick high by controlling things.(im a control freak BTW I just didn't know it) whatever it may be. They are just distractions. Distractions keeping me from feeling my feelings. Which causes me to have meltdowns and live in the gym. "because when I am thin I will be happy" riiiiiiiight...
right Lea when your 130 lbs your going to magically be happy and you will never have anymore problems. When someone places a pizza in my face I wont want to eat the whole thing at 130lbs because I will be thin and invensable. No more fat girl problems riiiiiight.... I'm always going to have issues with food in general. You don't need pot to survive,you don't need alcohol,you don't need crack or coke. You have to eat and it will always be around. Its always around. How many fast food places do we pass a day?Once I forever deal with the issues behind my problems then I can work on the weight loss. I have a weight loss nutritionist that I will meet with half way through my treatment. My goal is to be healthy,thin,sexy,fierce. I just know that I will meet my goal when its time. Timing is everything.
Also I shouldn't be ashamed. I lost over 50lbs. I did that. Me. No one can say they did it for me. I did it for me and It was hard as hell. I have a ways to go,but I would rather take 5 years to become healthy forever than continue on this roller coaster for the rest of my life. I don't care if people aren't proud of me. I am proud of me and right now at this moment I am all the matters.
Photo from hubbys b-day 2008
2nd photo from hubbys b-day 2009
3rd photo is my man eater face.
4th photo is a wedding shot. MOOO 2007
Thank you all for checking in on me. It means a lot. I don't have that many people in my life that know how hard this has been for me. Much love
Lea
Last edited:
Derrick
New member
I love the man eater face. Something sexy about it. 
I read your post and after reading only a few sentences I was already thinking "wait a minute here, you lost 52 lbs in a year, you should be proud!" I'm glad you later went on to say that you are proud of that. Who cares that you aren't going to lose the final 48 in the next 4 months? It sounds like you now realize that it will happen in due time and not some arbitrary time frame you thought you could accomplish it in. Just keep improving yourself in all areas, at your pace and you will find what you are looking for. Just never give up Lea, on anything.
I read your post and after reading only a few sentences I was already thinking "wait a minute here, you lost 52 lbs in a year, you should be proud!" I'm glad you later went on to say that you are proud of that. Who cares that you aren't going to lose the final 48 in the next 4 months? It sounds like you now realize that it will happen in due time and not some arbitrary time frame you thought you could accomplish it in. Just keep improving yourself in all areas, at your pace and you will find what you are looking for. Just never give up Lea, on anything.
LeaJnice
New member
I love the man eater face. Something sexy about it.
I read your post and after reading only a few sentences I was already thinking "wait a minute here, you lost 52 lbs in a year, you should be proud!" I'm glad you later went on to say that you are proud of that. Who cares that you aren't going to lose the final 48 in the next 4 months? It sounds like you now realize that it will happen in due time and not some arbitrary time frame you thought you could accomplish it in. Just keep improving yourself in all areas, at your pace and you will find what you are looking for. Just never give up Lea, on anything.
Thanks : 0 ) I appreciate the comment. Because I have been gone for around 3 months I don't have my posse anymore to comment me : (
When Im totally back on the weightloss aspect of it I will blog more. I know some people won't find my blog posts helpful for themselves right now because my journey Isn't just about weightloss. The" I lost 15lbs after I gained it in college look at my new hot body" posts are great for them...I've been fat my whole life. My whole life! I have a hard time feeling great for them because one summer of their life was ruined and I haven't been to a beach in 15 years. I don't wear short sleeves. I dont wear shorts,I dont go on camping trips for fear of the lake & all my girlfriends in bikinis with their size small suits. I don't go swiming. I stay away from any partys that might turn into a hot tub party. Im in my early 20s and I don't do any of the "normal" things. So I am sorry that I don't feel for them. Im working on it.
Off rant/soap box
again thanks derrick you have turned into quite the hotty while I have been away. Not that you werent a QT before
If I wasn't married and I saw you in a bar...lmao. Ah the art of web flirting..well your in stl so heck I could run into you anywhere...(insert embarrassed smiley here) awkward...
Good Luck to you as well.
Derrick
New member
LOL, thanks Lea. I just try to show my best angles.
Don't beat yourself up too much. We are all born into different lives but none of us are perfect. We can all improve ourselves somehow. Most people who come here are attracted to the improvements people make to themselves. Some have had so much more work to do than others but we are still happy to see anyone make improvements. While it certainly would touch my heart more to see someone who has been over weight their whole life finally reach an ideal weight, I am still proud to see other people lose their final 10 or 20 lbs even if that is all they had to lose to begin with.
Take a breather for a while if you have to. Don't fall into the darkness or you will be so mad at yourself one year from now. Think about where you were a year ago and how far you have come. Now picture going back to a year ago. That's not what you want, is it? So come on now, breathe, pick yourself up off the floor, breathe, walk, breathe, smile. This is life girl. If it's easy, something is wrong. All we can do is try. Don't stop trying.
Don't beat yourself up too much. We are all born into different lives but none of us are perfect. We can all improve ourselves somehow. Most people who come here are attracted to the improvements people make to themselves. Some have had so much more work to do than others but we are still happy to see anyone make improvements. While it certainly would touch my heart more to see someone who has been over weight their whole life finally reach an ideal weight, I am still proud to see other people lose their final 10 or 20 lbs even if that is all they had to lose to begin with.
Take a breather for a while if you have to. Don't fall into the darkness or you will be so mad at yourself one year from now. Think about where you were a year ago and how far you have come. Now picture going back to a year ago. That's not what you want, is it? So come on now, breathe, pick yourself up off the floor, breathe, walk, breathe, smile. This is life girl. If it's easy, something is wrong. All we can do is try. Don't stop trying.
LeaJnice
New member
Ok Im back again....I wouldn't even let myself sign in on here until now. I have been going to disorder eating therapy. Due to bingeing..after I gained 15 lbs back of my 50lbs lost. Its been a whirlwind really. Major rollercoaster. My friend got the lap band(major jealously issues..my husband is so against them),my 400$ flash broke,I fractured my leg,my bank account has been frozen for over a week due to the possibilty that i might be a terrorist...Its been 2 very stressful months thats for sure. I started eating healthy again yesterday. Im not planning on hitting it hard in the gym yet,but im taking it slow with a couple long walks a day. Im optimistic that I can continue this lifestyle..at least for a while lol. Starting weight is 199.4 I figured that I was eating around 3000 calories a day if not more when I made a pan of brownies myself and devoured them by myself....since we all know that 3500 is a lb thats not a good thing! so im starting with 1200 calories a day. I sit almost all day long..when I start going to the gym I will pick it up to 1500 or so. Im going to be starting with a nutritionist soon so thats good. Im just going to take it one day at a time and I will be posting my progress...
Lea
Lea
Derrick
New member
Great to hear you are taking action and ready to give it a go again. I've had a rough past few weeks myself and have gone from 193 to 203 in just 5 or 6 weeks. I'm upset about it but I'm still fighting. Glad to hear you are going to fight too.
So how does a 20 something year old western white caucasion girl become labeled as a possible terrorist?
So how does a 20 something year old western white caucasion girl become labeled as a possible terrorist?
LeaJnice
New member
Great to hear you are taking action and ready to give it a go again. I've had a rough past few weeks myself and have gone from 193 to 203 in just 5 or 6 weeks. I'm upset about it but I'm still fighting. Glad to hear you are going to fight too.
So how does a 20 something year old western white caucasion girl become labeled as a possible terrorist?
derrick my only remaining fan lol
yeah I know right...now they won't tell my husband anything... Its a huge pain in the arse. He calls them like 6 times a day and still nothing..they can hold our funds for 45 days!!!! if they do you are literally screwed..Ill be skinny because we wont be eating...have to find the funny in the sadness ya know..
LeaJnice
New member
195 today SWEET! 5lbs down in 6 days. Yesterday I took a 4 mile walk and today I took my son on a 6 mile walk. It is so beautiful out. I love this weather! I made veggie soup yesterday...
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/3 cup chopped celery
1 carrot, diced
1 garlic clove, minced
4 cups fat-free, unsalted chicken broth
2 large tomatoes, seeded and chopped
1/2 cup chopped spinach
1 can (16 ounces) canned chickpeas or red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup uncooked small shell pasta
1 small zucchini, diced
2 tablespoons fresh basil, chopped
I had a cup of soup and a spinach leaf salad with a little bit of cheese & raspberry dressing for dinner. So yummy.. I'll take a photo when I hit 180. I have a 185 photo up from last time already on here somewhere. lol
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/3 cup chopped celery
1 carrot, diced
1 garlic clove, minced
4 cups fat-free, unsalted chicken broth
2 large tomatoes, seeded and chopped
1/2 cup chopped spinach
1 can (16 ounces) canned chickpeas or red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 cup uncooked small shell pasta
1 small zucchini, diced
2 tablespoons fresh basil, chopped
I had a cup of soup and a spinach leaf salad with a little bit of cheese & raspberry dressing for dinner. So yummy.. I'll take a photo when I hit 180. I have a 185 photo up from last time already on here somewhere. lol
LeaJnice
New member
194
I took my son to botanical gardens yesterday for about 3 hours. We just walked. I lost another lb. 194 today : ) Im happy about 6 lbs lost in 8 days. I can handle that. Just by eating way less,no junk & walking walking & more walking... I plan to start running soon,but as of now walking works for me. I need to start a new game plan. I should just throw out my old plan. Last years goal was to lose 100lbs in 15 months. I lost 51lbs last year. This year my goal is going to be 65 lbs from today. I'll give myself a year to get as close to that as I can. My old goal weight was 132 I believe. Depending on how I look I might want to go lower. maybe 125. Im 5'5 1/2,but I have a small frame..you just can't see it underneath all this ick..my hands & wrists are very small. I'd like to just get to 140 and then make a real plan..So thats the plan. I wanted to wear a hot dress on my 22nd birthday..I did,but it wasn't the type of dress I wanted to wear, I even got a whistle at one bar & a honk outside an ice cream shop lol ..so the goal is to get to 140 by my 23rd(54lbs in a year)and maybe 125lbs by my 24th...I feel so old.Im not at all,but I feel like I am just slowly dying today 22 tomorrow 92... I know that can't be good. All I can do is take it day by day and try to stick to the goal..
I took my son to botanical gardens yesterday for about 3 hours. We just walked. I lost another lb. 194 today : ) Im happy about 6 lbs lost in 8 days. I can handle that. Just by eating way less,no junk & walking walking & more walking... I plan to start running soon,but as of now walking works for me. I need to start a new game plan. I should just throw out my old plan. Last years goal was to lose 100lbs in 15 months. I lost 51lbs last year. This year my goal is going to be 65 lbs from today. I'll give myself a year to get as close to that as I can. My old goal weight was 132 I believe. Depending on how I look I might want to go lower. maybe 125. Im 5'5 1/2,but I have a small frame..you just can't see it underneath all this ick..my hands & wrists are very small. I'd like to just get to 140 and then make a real plan..So thats the plan. I wanted to wear a hot dress on my 22nd birthday..I did,but it wasn't the type of dress I wanted to wear, I even got a whistle at one bar & a honk outside an ice cream shop lol ..so the goal is to get to 140 by my 23rd(54lbs in a year)and maybe 125lbs by my 24th...I feel so old.Im not at all,but I feel like I am just slowly dying today 22 tomorrow 92... I know that can't be good. All I can do is take it day by day and try to stick to the goal..
Derrick
New member
I like that goal because you said "as close to that as I can." Meaning you are striving for it but if you don't achieve that exact number you will still be happy with what you did achieve. I'm happy you are back Lea. I can only imagine how good it must feel to simply be trying again and to have HOPE! You can do this, girl! One pound at a time.
LeaJnice
New member
I'm back. again. Yeah this time it's it for me. I didn't exercise for 6 months & I felt awful. I'm back on the wagon. I am at 180. I will be posted my progess photos in the before between and after section. Stay tuned lol.
I'm going to be started p90x when I buy the dvds soon. I'm so nervous. I know it's going to kill me. I've been watching 300 lbs people do it on youtube though so I figure if they can do it so can I! I've been going to the gym 6 times a week for 90 minutes and I do videos on exercise tv when I'm bored. lol I'm going to be thin in 2010! My 2 year is this july : P so I am going to try to get as close to 140 as I can. Started at 240...60 down..40 to go....I'm going to freaking do this! Wish me luck : )
I'm going to be started p90x when I buy the dvds soon. I'm so nervous. I know it's going to kill me. I've been watching 300 lbs people do it on youtube though so I figure if they can do it so can I! I've been going to the gym 6 times a week for 90 minutes and I do videos on exercise tv when I'm bored. lol I'm going to be thin in 2010! My 2 year is this july : P so I am going to try to get as close to 140 as I can. Started at 240...60 down..40 to go....I'm going to freaking do this! Wish me luck : )
LeaJnice
New member
Ok so heres a small victory....170's baby! ok so 179....lol but it's been at least 5 years since I've seen that number. It's taken me so long to get over my plateau. Months! I started working out twice a day. My body needed something different for me to get over it. I'm at home during the week day so I sit a lot. So I've been doing a video on exercise tv during the day & then I go to the gym for 90 minutes at night. I try to go 6 times a week. I'm hoping to go hiking tomorrow if it doesn't rain instead of the gym,but we will see. I told the hubs that I wants the p90x videos for mothers day.Flowers would be nice too.....lol In two weeks I will post a new progress photo. : )
Welcome back to the forum!!! And BIG congrats on making the 170s 
Just think- you're already over halfway to your goal. You've so got this!!
I only read the last few pages of your journal but after work I'm going to go back and read the rest... I can see you've come so far though, and good on you for sticking with it! Very inspiring!!!
Just think- you're already over halfway to your goal. You've so got this!! I only read the last few pages of your journal but after work I'm going to go back and read the rest... I can see you've come so far though, and good on you for sticking with it! Very inspiring!!!