Lagniappe's Journal: Yikes. I'm FAT!

Lagniappe

New member
For the past 4 years, I've labored under some delusion that somehow this extra weight would just go away. Spontaneously. I didn't change anything about the way I ate, at least not for more than a couple of days at a time. I didn't exercise consistently. I didn't take any ownership for the state I'd gotten myself into. I just avoided mirrors and cameras, as if denial would make a difference. But I'm ready to change all that, before it's too late.

My weight problems really began with my 2nd child, 15 years ago. I gained about 50 lbs and still carried about 20 after he was born. Over the next 10 years, I put on about 25 lbs more. Then following a divorce and very liberating changes, I lost a good bit through healthier eating (lots of Lean Cuisine) and moderate exercise and got down to 140. I felt great, and I looked good even though I was still about 20 lbs overweight.

But then, while I was still a svelte and pretty hot-looking 140, I met a great guy -- who happened to be a great cook. I married him, and my Lean Cuisine diet plan flew out the door. He spent the next 2 years fattening me up, stuffing me nearly every night with amazing cajun and creole food, as good as you would find in any of the best restaurants in New Orleans. It's no wonder I gained weight. By the time I became pregnant with my 3rd child, I was around 160. My pregnancy weight gain set records, I'm sure. After the baby was born, I was a whopping 190, and I've carried that around since early 2004. I started smoking again thinking (duh) that it might help me slim down, but of course it didn't. And when I quit smoking in January 2007, I immediately gained weight, packing on another 16 lbs.

All this weight gain has had a profound impact on my psyche. I have no energy or zeal. I get winded playing ball with my 3 year old. I dread going anywhere that I have to "dress nice" because of how I look. And there are physical issues that go along with carrying all this weight around on a 5 ft frame... I just don't feel that great a lot of the time.

While my husband is affectionate and acts like it doesn't matter... I know it does. It has to. Our intimate life has suffered, of course. I can't imagine that he could NOT be grossed out -- or at least chagrined -- by what I've become. I look nothing like the woman he married. On top of all that, he's a college professor, surrounded by nubile 20-something women... and he's a good-looking guy. I can't help but worry that all that temptation... well, you know. He's married, not dead.

I've spent months (really, months) researching diets of different types and weight loss strategies, and just generally psyching myself up for this. I've settled on a kind of sugarbusters/low-carb plan, not following any strict plan per se, but I have virtually eliminated pasta, rice, bread and refined sugars. I've started eating veggies, lean meats, eggs, cheese, whole grains, but really limiting myself where possible to low GI carbs. I'm not following a strict carb limit but trying to keep it between 50 to 75 per day. Drinking LOTS of water and a couple of cups of green tea each day. I'm keeping a food journal religiously calculating my intake of carbs, and that has been a huge help. I've started walking, just about 1/2 mile for now but will extend that as I can. I've also gotten an exercise video (Body Electric) that I'm working with for 30 minutes every day. Maybe some day I can actually touch my toes again (although at this point, I'll settle for just SEEING my toes).

The one thing that I know I need is a support network. So that is why I signed up at this forum. I will be here for you... and will appreciate your being here for me.

As of 9/26, I weighed 199.6, which is down from 206 last week. My initial goal is 140 (and if that works, I'll shoot for 120). I figure that it will take about 8 to 12 months to reach 140 if I don't screw it up!

Thanks for reading, and I will be HUGELY appreciative of your support over the coming months.
 
Hey girl,

I completely feel you about being carrying that much weight on a small frame. I started off at 225lbs and was only 5'. (And sad thing is, I was never pregnant.) Needless to say, my joints hated me. haha As for your diet, I just have a few questions:

1. Being that it'll be a low carb (LC) type of diet, are you really willing to "restrict" yourself and for how long? Reason I ask, LC diets are usually temporary and yes, are considered fad diets. Also, good carbs are essential for energy during your cardio.

2. Have you calculated your BMR? Figured out how many calories you are allotted in a day? You don't want to go below those numbers, so you won't hit starvation mode early in your weight loss journey. Starvation mode---> plateau and Lord knows, we don't want that.

Alrighty, well I hope you have yourself a wonderful day and once again, welcome to the forum, girly.

-Sheryl
 
No, I had not calculated my BMR or really thought very much about my caloric intake, being so focused just on getting rid of certain foods. Thanks for the advice. According to the BMR calculator I found, and used to compute my suggested caloric intake, to maintain my current weight I should take in a bit over 2100 calories per day. Seems VERY high to me, even to maintain my big butt (which I don't want to keep, actually). To lose at a reasonable rate, I guess I should be reducing my intake by about 750 calories per day, but not drop below 1100. While I'm not really "counting calories" I did go back and calculate my average caloric intake over the past 3 days. I've had an average of 1070 per day, which is a bit on the low side but for my size and sedentary lifestyle, probably not "too" low. As I increase my exercise level I'll have to adjust this a bit I guess.

I guess I should clarify that my personal "low carb" approach isn't as restrictive as Atkins or South Beach. It is carb-aware, but more like Sugarbusters. The only foods I'm not touching are white rice, white pasta, potatoes and white bread, and the sugary stuff that has absolutely no nutritional value. It's a cinch for me to give up the sugar because I could care less about it -- no sweet tooth at all. Giving up tortilla chips and popcorn is going to be more of a challenge...and maybe I'll give myself a treat on the weekend so I don't go nuts. (A plate of cheese nachos would be SO good right now). Giving up alcohol is also one of my bigger challenges, because we throw a lot of parties and drinking is just part of that. I'm not that attached to rice and pasta and potatoes, so the prospect of not eating them doesn't really bother me. I chose this approach because I think I can follow it without feeling deprived, and I can still eat the "good carbs" like whole grains, brown rice, brown pasta, etc.

Thanks for your feedback!! I'll be more aware of my calorie intake so I don't cause myself unnecessary problems!
 
Heh I started at 240 and am 5'2 .. am 14 lbs down so far. Good luck with it! I hear you about your relationship. I just split with my bf but before I did I always worried that he would find me repulsive, especially as he was good looking and not overweight :(
 
According to the BMR calculator I found, and used to compute my suggested caloric intake, to maintain my current weight I should take in a bit over 2100 calories per day. Seems VERY high to me, even to maintain my big butt (which I don't want to keep, actually). To lose at a reasonable rate, I guess I should be reducing my intake by about 750 calories per day, but not drop below 1100.

I'm glad you were able to find something to figure out your BMR. As for reducing that number by 750 calories and not drop below 1100.... that sounds really off? Even if you were to be eating only 1350 calories that would still be low for your weight. Did you also add in the amount of exercise you partake in weekly?

-MGB
 


I'm glad you were able to find something to figure out your BMR. As for reducing that number by 750 calories and not drop below 1100.... that sounds really off? Even if you were to be eating only 1350 calories that would still be low for your weight. Did you also add in the amount of exercise you partake in weekly?

-MGB

It might sound low... but I've always found that if I eat as much 1200 calories I don't lose. That's always been sort of the "set point" for my height at the weight I should be. Also, my "exercise" is negligible at this point so I calculated that based on "light exercise of 1-3 days per week). Body Electric isn't cardio, it's very low impact focused on toning. Walking is the only real aerobic workout for me, and right now it's limited to a 1/2 mile stroll with my Great Pyrenees. As the heat abates (it's freakin hot here) I'll be able to do longer walks and then I'm sure I will have to adjust my caloric intake upward. Are there physical symptoms I should be on the look-out for that will tell me if I'm starving my body? I don't want to lose more than 3 lbs a week or so because I know that it wouldn't be healthy.
 
Three lbs a week sounds rather high on a long term basis, though you might lose that or even more in the first week or four :). I always understood that you couldn't 'safely' lose more than 2 lbs a week on a long term basis but I am not an expert .. can anyone else confirm or deny?
 
You're right -- and I'm not really aiming for 3 lbs a week... two is my goal (or roughly 10 lbs per month if possible). I just figure if I'm losing 3 lbs or more per week it may mean I have to adjust something, start eating more calories at my meals or adding in an extra snack during the day. Maybe have a couple of granola bars or something. I'm not pushing away from the table when I'm still hungry... I'm eating pretty well and feeling satisfied (except that I'm NOT indulging my cravings for tortilla chips and popcorn). I think that since I'm not eating rice, pasta and potatoes, I'm just cutting out a bunch of the calories I'd normally be taking in. I've been substituting veggies for the starches I used to eat. Thanks for the feedback!!!
 
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I always understood that you couldn't 'safely' lose more than 2 lbs a week on a long term basis but I am not an expert .. can anyone else confirm or deny?

There's a possibility of losing more than 2 lbs a week safely if you're under medical supervision and you have a lot of weight to lose. (ie: morbidly obese) Everyones body is different, so it really depends on the individual. However, if you're at a lower weight and you're dropping more than 2 pounds a week, there's a possibility of gaining back some or all. (You know.. the whole fat diet cycle.)

-Sheryl
 


There's a possibility of losing more than 2 lbs a week safely if you're under medical supervision and you have a lot of weight to lose. (ie: morbidly obese) Everyones body is different, so it really depends on the individual. However, if you're at a lower weight and you're dropping more than 2 pounds a week, there's a possibility of gaining back some or all. (You know.. the whole fat diet cycle.)

-Sheryl

Unfortunately, I think I qualify as "morbidly obese" -- Hopefully in a month or so I'll just be plain old fat :)
 
How fat do you have to be to be morbidly obese? I hope that I am not but maybe I am :(

(sorry not trying to hijack thread, just wondering :))
 
Oh sheesh.... morbidly obese is a term used for people who are 100+ lbs over their idea body weight.. I believe their BMI is over 40. (I'm not a big fan of BMI, since it doesn't really take muscle to fat ratio into account... it's just weight and height... you know what I mean?) There are a few others, but I can't think of them at the moment. I wouldn't really focus on the whole "Am I obese? morbidly obese?" idea. If anything, focus on what you have achieved so far with starting a new and healthy lifestyle. For the most part, you two are doing exceptionally well. :)

-Sheryl
 
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My BMI pretty much IS over 40 .. okay it's just under right now but it was over 40 when I started :(. It's depressing .. to be honest I had always thought of morbid obesity as being, you know, 500 lbs or something.
 
My BMI pretty much IS over 40 .. okay it's just under right now but it was over 40 when I started :(. It's depressing .. to be honest I had always thought of morbid obesity as being, you know, 500 lbs or something.

Bah.... that was before, but look at you now. :D 16 lbs loss so far? That's fantastic. There's no need to be depressed, because like I said, those BMI charts are really full of crap. I have a lot more muscle than fat, but according to those charts, I'm nowhere close to being "overweight" yet. Hmmm.. that's what happens when you base an entire system on a group of people no where near the average American. Like I said, focus on your accomplishments. There's no room for negativity when it comes to weight loss. :hug2: Lagniappe, wishing you and the family a great weekend, girl. :D

-Sheryl
 
This weekend was my 6th wedding anniversary. We had a great time, went to a gallery opening in Austin where a friend was showing her art for the first time, and then had dinner at a great restaurant. We had our 3 year old (Devin) with us but he was a good boy and well-behaved. It was a wonderful night and I did indulge. Had 4 glasses of sangria (tsk), and even though I was carb conscious about my dinner, it was by no stretch of the imagination "dietary." Chile Rellenos en Nogada, with this amazing walnut brandy cream sauce. Yum. Otherwise, though, I was good this weekend. I gained a pound but usually my weekend failures are 3 days long so I won't beat myself up over it. The real test will be next weekend... we're leaving Thursday for 4 days in New Orleans, with dinner reservations already made at my two favorite restaurants.
 
-Howdy fellow Texan.. *waves* ;)

I see so much of me in your first posting...Many of us have been there..

Yer not alone! :)

I agree w/Sheryl's opinion 110% re: LC..

I first did south beach and then atkins.. The losses were temp. and then I gained even more weight once I couldn't stick w/it bc I felt soooo deprived..

I have been doin' the best life diet plan by Bob Greene and it's working for "me." It's not a "diet.." It's a life plan and there's no depriving.

My family loves it as well.. {Hubby & 13-yr.-old son.}

Just stay alert re: semi-LCing.. ;)

I look forward to watchin' yer progress! *woohoo!*
 
This weekend was my 6th wedding anniversary. We had a great time, went to a gallery opening in Austin where a friend was showing her art for the first time, and then had dinner at a great restaurant. We had our 3 year old (Devin) with us but he was a good boy and well-behaved. It was a wonderful night and I did indulge. Had 4 glasses of sangria (tsk), and even though I was carb conscious about my dinner, it was by no stretch of the imagination "dietary." Chile Rellenos en Nogada, with this amazing walnut brandy cream sauce. Yum. Otherwise, though, I was good this weekend. I gained a pound but usually my weekend failures are 3 days long so I won't beat myself up over it. The real test will be next weekend... we're leaving Thursday for 4 days in New Orleans, with dinner reservations already made at my two favorite restaurants.

First off.... congrats with the 6 years, doll. :D Wishing you many more to come. As for this weekend's little "binge," bah... as long as you had fun and realize you're going to be back on track, then it's all good. :) Now as for the pound gained, it's quite possible due to salt/ water retention, because heaven knows how much sodium Mexican food at restaurants have. :eek2: Enjoy your Sunday, girl.

-Sheryl
 
Back down today to where I was Friday (actually, a smidgen of a lb lower even). We went to the pig-out chinese buffet last night and while I'm sure it wasn't the healthiest meal (so much salt in restaurant food), I was so well behaved. Had wonton soup with NO wontons, grilled zucchini, a couple of pieces of sweet potato tempura, and a couple of grilled beef skewers. A couple of chunks of General Tsao's chicken but just a taste. And I didn't even eat my fortune cookie! (It was a cheesy fortune, anyway).

My goal this week is 2 lbs minimum but I'm hoping to drop a bit more, maybe 4 lbs. I figure once I get to New Orleans it will be real hard to stay 100% with a diet but I will be walking a lot and that will probably help.

Hope everyone has a good week!
 
Great Job!! :)

*woohoo*

~~~

LOL re: the TX Weather..

Can we get a break please? :eek2:

They say Monday will be like true fall for us! In the low 70's..!

I can't wait! I'll walk my bootie off that day and will love it!
 
I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere. This morning I fell below 196. That's 10 lbs down from my "high" of 206 in early September (I used to hover between 203 and 206 as a general rule).

I'm feeling psyched. But I need to do more walking. I didn't walk the dog yesterday (made the red-headed stepchild do it amid much grumbling and gnashing of teeth). Even though I'm losing weight, I feel like I probably need to eat more calories and get more exercise for everything to be in balance.

How do you stop a 3 year old from eating play-doh? This is my dilemma at the moment. At least he stopped sticking it up his nose. Things are looking up.
 
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