Krystal's Diary

Krystal1

Krystal1

New member
Ok, so at 28 years old, I think I've had PLENTY of time to stop screwing around and drop a few thousand pounds. I've blamed everything except myself for the shape I'm in, and it's time to own up to the fact that *I* am the one in charge here. Mom calling me "fat" names as a kid doesn't make me fat today. Being abused as a kid doesn't make me fat today. Mental illness and broken relationships of the past don't make me fat today.
The problem is me...stuffing my unfillable pie-hole. And stuffing it with CRAP.
Soooo, any ideas on how to stop doing that? Hah...:eek:
 
hiya welcome to the forum, as for the how to stop eating crap, have you tried getting rid of it from your house, or keeping veggies in the fridge or something. There is loads of help here :D
 
Welcome to the forum Kelly!!! You can do this!
I found these links helpful when I first started:




Good Luck!! :D:D:D
 
:)Janez said:
have you tried getting rid of it from your house, or keeping veggies in the fridge or something. :D
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Actually I have been eating a LOT more fresh veggies and fruits, and keeping less crap-food in the house. But hubby and I are both pretty pathetic when it comes to junk, and if there isn't anything like that in the house when one of us craves it, he'll go get it at the store. I really need HIM to jump on the train with me, so we can both get healthier and I won't feel like I'm doing it alone.
 
I REFUSE to skip my treadmill work-out today. I haven't done it in almost a week, and I feel totally useless. I don't know why I do that...I start out doing so well with something and then I start to slack off and that's when the weight comes back.
I can't afford to stay fat. My health is suffering, and I look absolutely gross. And my mind wanders to creepy places when I get this way...I've even started to think Nicole Richie looks like a good goal. Yuck.
I'm trying to avoid processed foods, and eat more "whole" things like veggies and fruits. And I eat a LOT of tuna. When I can stick to that way of life, and continue my workouts, I tend to drop weight very quickly. But of course that's "IF" I stick to it. I disgust myself sometimes.
I'm at the phase now where I literally feel guilty every single time I eat. I could be eating raw broccoli with no butter and no salt and I would still be thinking "ugh...do you REALLY need that bite of food, fatty?"
I'm so over the top with everything. Geez. :(
 
You are gonna do this chickadee. I know you are. And just remember, you are still hawt! Regardless of your size. I love Krystal!! You rawk my sawks!!
 
I would like to announce that I have stayed below 1000 calories today, thankyouverymuch:D
Now if I just get my big butt downstairs on my treadmill, I'll be guilt free for the whole day!! Woohoo me!
 
Howdy and welcome to the forum.I would reccomend trying to
stay close to 1200 calories for health reasons and because I learned
your metabolism works on starve mode when you get to low trust
me I love low calories dieting thats how I have lost so far but I try
to stay around 1200 and maybe 1 day a week add a few to boost
my metabolism! Your doing awesome with the treadmill I totally force
myself to get on that daily because I got spoiled walking then the temp
finally dropped.Good luck to ya and have a nice weekend,Tammy:)
 
Krystal said:
I would like to announce that I have stayed below 1000 calories today, thankyouverymuch:D
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I cant thank you, because this is not good. You cant lose weight without eating, you just cant. Your weight loss will completely stall if you dont eat properly, or worse your body will begin to use your muscle as fuel instead of the fat we are trying to burn.

Your house is your safe net. Keep all junk food out of your safety zone. Its impossible to resist, for anyone. With all the temptation out there, you need one place you can feel safe in right? (I completely stole all that from ) But it is true.

If you are interested in what Im saying, I will keep going.
 
I can't seem to stay at it. I'm constantly thinking about calories, weighing myself, filling my belly with water in an effort to squelch the rumbling beast...and then when I'm doing my very best, I ruin it by eating an entire chocolate bar and half a bag of M&M's. It's the most pathetic thing EVER!!
I'm down to a total loss of about 25 pounds...which is awesome. BUT when I feel like I have so far to go, it seems impossible.
Being scared of the migraines is allowing me to talk myself out of walking on the treadmill. Of course I have walked a MILLION times without causing a migraine, but you can't tell that to the irrational part of my brain. And the not walking is really slowing down the loss. So then I figure if the loss isn't going like I want it to, why bother...and then I snarf down the chocolate.
Yesterday I managed to go the entire day eating only apples, and some boiled chicken with stirfry veggies cooked in some olive oil. Everything I ate was natural and whole, and relatively low in calories. But as soon as my hubby comes home and eats it and says "I need some chocolate..." geez. I don't know if he's the enabler or I am:)
It makes me want to skip eating all day to punish myself.
 
Krystal,

You dont have to starve yourself to lose weight. Its not healthy and its causing you to eat foods you really dont want to. A couple of apples isnt enough to feed an army of ants, let alone a human being. Not to mention that apples are starchy carbs, which peaks your energy, then you crash. Water is no substitute for food, no matter what you've heard.

I hope you will try this:
Breakfast eat something like oatmeal. Mix in some berries and cinamon or apples. Start the day off positive. Drink a nice glass of milk.

Give yourself two snacks also. Snacks could be small chicken garden salads with a small amount of dressing.

For lunch prepare yourself something ahead of time. Try mixing up some lean ground beef with some vegetables. Take it in a tupper ware container to work (Im assuming here). I can give you a great recipe for Beef with zuccini and tomatoes. I dont even like zuccini but love this recipe.

For dinner, again have some chicken, vegetables (broccoli, etc) and perhaps some mashed potatoes. Before bed, eat some cottage cheese.

You need to give your body the fuel it needs, with a balance of fats, proteins, and carbs.

Check out
 
I'm proud of myself. Yesterday I stuck to my goal, and I know that in a few days I will be back in the swing again, and seeing the numbers drop. When I let myself indulge in bad habits, it really slows me down...like for weeks at a time.
Last night at the grocery store, I bought mostly whole, unprocessed, and healthy food. Of course having three other people to consider, we had to buy a few things that I will NOT enjoying myself. I guess that's just the price you pay for having a family:)
My grandfather told me that he can see that I've dropped some weight. That was so nice to hear. He isn't doing well at all, and I want to drop a few more (noticable) pounds before he goes, so he can see that I am finally serious about weight loss this time. I don't want him to worry any more than he has to.
Today I plan on eating nothing but the fruits, veggies and chicken that I bought, and drinking lots of water. I'm going to try and stay within a certain number of calories, and maybe force myself to walk on the treadmill while the baby sleeps this afternoon. Wish me luck:eek:
 
You are doing awesome! You can do this Krystal! If you give up I will personally drive the 8 hours to camdy pamdy and kick your ass! Lol! We are doing this together. Remember, I said when we lose all this weight, I am coming up there and we are going bikini shopping. I'm not talking about those with the built in skirt either, I'm talking about the string bikinis! Stay motivated and call me if you start feeling down. I'll sing to ya! You'll burn tons of calories from running away from my terrible singing voice!:D
 
Completely. Disgusted. That's all.
Yesterday, I demanded that we go out to this HUGE mall nearby, so that I could walk off the grotesque amount of calories I had consumed the day before. And in the process of being out and about, we of course, ate in resturaunts. I managed to pig down around 4000 calories yesterday alone!!
I could blame my period. I could blame the convenience of it all. But the whole thing is my own fault, and I'm ashamed, disgusted, and completely discouraged. This happens every so often, and it is the main reason for my failure to lose weight. Once I start doing well, I have an episode (usually menstrual-related) where I snarf down enough food for the whole family, and that un-does any progress i might have made.
Of course today I'm trying to get back into the game, eating only "real" food...cucumbers, green beans, and baked chicken so far today. But even eating those things makes me feel awful...as if I don't deserve the food because of the way I behaved yesterday.
Completely. Disgusted. Bah.:mad:
 
Ugh...and after my ultra healthy lunch what did I do but eat FIVE squares of my husband's chocolate. Boohiss. :mad:
 
Krystal,
I'm not sure if you actually read Tony's posts. You haven't acknowledged any thing anyone has said.

Go back and read his posts.

You are bound to set up a vicious cycle of under eating then over eating if you continue this path. I don't think that's what you really want.

I hope you're able to find a healthy and *sustainable* weightloss system.
 
Krystal,
My comments were not made for you to feel defensive over - and trust me, we all vent around here.

My point was, you were saying that you were having these VERY under calorie days - then going way over.

If that is the case then maybe you really need to evaluate those very low calorie days and ask yourself why you couldn't sustain that.

The one thing I've learned from this site is that l have a lot to learn, and am always aware that sometimes, what I'm doing isn't always the wisest thing - AND be willing to change it when it isn't.
 
Krystal said:
My grandfather told me that he can see that I've dropped some weight. That was so nice to hear. He isn't doing well at all, and I want to drop a few more (noticable) pounds before he goes, so he can see that I am finally serious about weight loss this time. I don't want him to worry any more than he has to.
Click to expand...
It's been ages. I was just browsing and I came across this specific post that I'd made several months ago.
My grandpa has since passed away, and I'm so ashamed that I gave up on losing the weight for so long. I'm up 10 (or more) pounds from the weight I was at the time I posted this. I need a kick in the pants again. I want to make my Papa proud, even tho he's not here to see it.
With a healthier outlook, maybe I can succeed this time. I've learned that when I don't have my whole foods, and instead have a processed, fatty, greasy substitute, I feel very sick. My headaches are more frequent, and the fibromyalgia flares badly. So I guess that's an important lesson.
Anyway, I just wanted to update this silly thing, in hopes that it might motivate me to get moving again...and to put it out into the universe that I really miss my Papa.
That's all:)
 
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