I missed you yesterday. Had a really long and very bad day. I'm gonna start from the beginning, so this'll be a long post. Just skip to the end, if you're going to take my word for the first two sentences of this post. Look for this sign in the last lines: ->

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Friday was a good day. Went running, then spent the evening with friends, some wine, totally included in my calories, home early.
Yesterday.. Travelling again, but only for the day. In the end managed to eat very well, 154 prot, 127 carb, 53 fat (low, but sooo much better than 90% of the time before all this), 32 fibre, 1685 kcal. Work was ok.
The bad things started happening in the evening. I've been doing a lot of volunteer work (but in the field of my specialty) for this non-profit organization. For the last four years I've been a member of the board there, allowing me to have a say in how the money generated by all of us working for free is 1) spent for the good cause or 2) to generate even more money. From eight of us alltogether there where four, who wanted to keep the costs as low as possible to have the maximum amount of money for the cause. That, of course, meant that all that we possibly could do ourselves we did. The four others where more inclined to hire people to do what they themselves didn't like to do, even if they could've.
Yesterday we had a general meeting for all the members which, among other things, chooses the board members. And for reasons partly unknown to me the other four board members introduced and spoke highly for four new candidates (two of which weren't even present) to replace us four, and we didn't even get to introduce ourselves in the same manner before the vote.
Three of us (the hardest working three, I'd say) were dropped by the voting and replaced by people who I know in advance won't even go to all of the board meetings, let alone work for this on their own free time.
The three of us were dumbfounded. Nothing to add. We've run the last two big projects. No "thanks for the work you've done", no nothing.

I can't even imagine how the next one is going to be run and by who. We had to learn all this from the beginning (8 years back), and now there are totally fresh, not willing to get their hands dirty people who think they can do it all easily or, more likely, pay to somebody to do it for them.
I have decided to give this organization a rest for a while. There's no way I'm going to work for free if the money from that is going to somebody who's running things instead of the cause. Fortunately there are other ways of doing the same for the society without going through this organization.
There's just no way of describing the feelings that went through my mind. I'm starting to cool down now, after a good nights sleep (anger is very tiring..). This has been like a hobby to me, although the same field that I work on, it has given me a different kind of social and ideological frame to do my job than the work->pay -related one. And some good fun, although right now I'm thinking, maybe I should re-evaluate that as well, knowing what some of these people think of me (a money-saving pain-in-the-ass???).
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<- Here end's the whining session for this post..
Yesterday it was raining all things possible, today we're back to the beatiful sun shining from the clear skies. I'm working on my mood to change that way too. I'll try and get rid of the last aggression by some serious running. I thought I'd try to warm up by walking a while and then run the rest of 6 km, and see how that goes. Slowly, I think, but I'm hoping to run all the way back home anyway.
And for some time I've been thinking of this work-related project of my own, so maybe I'll take some time to plan that now. I've found that when I need to not think of something, I have to have a replacement for it. Have you ever tried of NOT THINKING THE PINK ELEPHANT???
In need of hugs here, if you can spare any...
Juliette