Journey to Knowing

Status
Not open for further replies.
:party:
:party: 30.1! :party:
:party:
 
I thought long and hard and decided a 5 hour round trip commute was too much even just one day a week so I've brought my search within 90 minute drive. Found a townhome with a first floor apartment in a small tourist town in the mountains. Within what I want to invest and easy rental property when I buy land in 8 years. The apartment could easily cover mortgage as an airbnb. Drove up after work. Not at all impressed but I'm meeting the agent Monday anyway. On the drive I think I came up with a winning strategy though.

So I want at least 2 dozen acres but I'll be aging and will need help maintaining the land. My idea is to have a small home on property for a ranch manager. Barter housing for smaller salary and work. I'm thinking maybe a manufactured home would do the trick and give me a nice place to live for a while.

There's so much I don't care for about manufactured homes. The stigma. The air vents in the floors. The seams running down the middle. At least now they have drywall and not that hideous paneling. But they are well built, semi mobile, and I could have a big bathtub and walk in shower. And huge kitchen.

I'm busy with campaign stuff tomorrow but will probably go to the dealership after looking at the townhouse on Monday. That place looks like it has more mold than my current condo.

Disclosure. The reason this all is so complicated and I'm on such a tight budget is I filed chapter 13 last year. I put mental health above everything else and went into major debt. Plus I made stupid choices. I'm repaying 100% which is rare but that leaves me with just barely enough to live on. In order to sell this place, I need to get approval from the court and then another approval to buy. Maybe even move, I'm not sure. Weirdly this has been one of the best decisions of my life. It's forced me to grow up a little and take responsibility where it used to seem impossible. 4 more years!

That's one reason I'm doing healthywage. Winning the $4,800 will allow me some breathing room and an awesome rafting trip.
 
Long day but fun. Macros are a little off but not too bad and I didn't go over anything. Delivering yard signs was hard work! And I'm stressing about the chimp sanctuary tomorrow. Took another class today about zoological nutrition. Three times to pass the quiz I'm so unfocused because of Peri and that a bad person from my family is coming to my house Tuesday bc his gf is buying my kayak. Haven't seen him except at funerals for years. But mainly Peri. She ate a 1/8 c or less of some turkey I cooked today. Tomorrow is Becky's birthday and I'm out here trying to find a single rose to leave at her gravesite. I know her dad visits and it means a lot to him. She would've been 62 this year. Time flies. Having fun or not.
 
First day volunteering at the sanctuary was great. My anxiety got me a little and I over shared with the two women I was working with but otherwise it was good. The ac was out and it was 90° in the kitchen. I did a lot of lifting over my head. Heavy stuff. Saw three residents. One watched us work for a few minutes.

I got up late and couldn't cook breakfast. Grabbed a snickers on the way up. Worked my butt off for nearly three hours and started feeling the lack of food on the way back so I got two Krystal. Apple, sunbutter, and turkey for dinner. That is my day.

Tomorrow I drive back to the mountains to look at the condo and mobile homes.

Think I'll sleep well tonight.

View attachment 25782
 
Long day. Looked at the townhouse. Worse inside than out. Including bed bugs. Ack! Drove about 45 minutes west to where I really want to be and found a few properties. I messaged a UUC in the town and asked for a real estate agent referral. Really cannot handle another Trumpster agent. I also finally looked up how to buy in 13 and it doesn't seem horrible. So I'll start that process this week as I'm gathering estimates for remediating my current condo. Hoping things are worked out by xmas.

Food wise I cooked a small breakfast and for lunch went to an all you can eat for lunch and didn't over eat - mainly because most of the food was tasteless. I'm under 1k for the day and don't feel like eating anything else. Official weighin was high this morning. But I feel great after the hard work yesterday. I also figured out my heel pain is tight tendons so when it starts hurting, I stretch. It's working.
 
I've gone from a tight 46-I to a loose 42-DDD. Well the band is loose and the DDD barely fits but it does fit. Pulled our clothes from my 'smaller sizes' bin. Men's 2xl t-shirts now fit beautifully. One pair of 22 Jean's and 4 dress pants fit. Two 22 jeans still too small. Women's 3xl almost fit. And DD is too small but my one DDD fits. Slow and steady.

I ran out of one of my bp meds that is a diuretic so I'm more bloated than usual. Not paying much attention to the scale right now.

Getting everything ready to request permission to sell and buy. My part of the sell goes to the court but that's okay. I can still do the subprime 0 down and then refinance in four years - or buy another and rent out what I'm buying. I'm learning towards a regular ranch which surprises me with all the mountains. Living alone in the county still scares me but I think that will pass after a while.

Selling my never used kayak today. Sad but it's time.
 
Buying & selling there sounds so very complicated. I haven't been able to follow most of what you have said about it.
What I can understand is your reduction in clothing size! YAY!!!!!!!! Well done, you!
 
Ha! I think our system is simpler than the UK at least. My situation is complicated by the bankruptcy. Anything I do financially out of the normal day to day, I must get approval for the next four years from the government. It's like being on monetary probation because medical costs are so high and I chose to get care anyway.

But yes!!! Sizes coming down even with the scale staying stagnant.
 
Got a small milkshake today. Went over by 400 calories but still within my maintenance number. Seeing my childhood abuser didn't throw me too badly but definitely having reaction. Hadn't seen him in years except at funerals he has officiated. Blah.

The big bank was telling me stuff I know is untrue so I called a local loan broker. He pre approved me within 8 minutes. So when I go to my lawyer's office next week, the paralegal can get the 45 day approval process started. I've contacted 4 real estate agents and only one has called back - all referrals.

Peri is only eating kibble. I figure if her kidneys are shutting down and that's what she wants, then so be it. Vet will come by next week to do bloodwork. I'll give her fluids tomorrow. Kind of want the vet's okay on that. If she doesn't agree, I'll give her fluids anyway.

I'm ignoring stuff at work. Need not do that.

Contractors stopping by all day tomorrow. I'm doing due diligence even though I plan to be in the mountains by end of December - fingers crossed.
 
Broke through the barrier and finally made cabbage soup. I had thrown away 2lb ground turkey earlier this week because I waited too long. The cabbage was going bad but I salvaged a good but of it. I added blackened peas and sauteed onions. Still had green beans too. I guess it's more of a vegetable soup. But with only 6oz tomato sauce and 6oz water. The rest of the fluid comes from the cabbage. Pretty good. I'm getting more brave using cayenne pepper.

Talked to a real estate agent today. Don't know if it's who I will choose but finally good to speak to someone directly.
 
I realize how quickly I can slide into my old patterns even after 3 months. Three milkshakes the past four days. Was under my maintenance calories two of thos days and under my goal one but eating those things was a direct reaction to seeing my abuser last week and getting an official diagnosis of renal failure for Peri. Thinking I'm recovering my footing but who knows.

I drove up to a property I like on screen yesterday. Never got to the property because you need an all wheel drive or 4x4 to get to it. I almost had to call a tow truck because I couldn't get up a hill but I drove to the nearest neighbor and asked them for advice and he told me where to put my wheels. I was going 40mph when I hit the hill and barely 2mph when I topped it.

Going out to look at a few places closer to the city today but I can't afford most of those.

Peri is ok. Eats some days and some days she doesn't. Doc is coming Wednesday to do bloodwork.
 
You have come too far to let yourself slip back now. I slipped down the slope at the weekend too. We can do this. Being slim & healthy would be SOOO good! Sorry about Peri. Our little old dog is nearing the end of her long life. She is 17 in Oct. We have had her since she was a pup, & are mentally preparing ourselves for the inevitable xo
 
So sorry about your girl cate. Having them with us is such a privilege and blessing but the decisions at the end suck. My girl is 11.

Starting again now. A little suicidal ideation but nothing overwhelming. Just sad bc haven't had that for months.

Looks like I'll need to move into an apartment after I sell the condo. I'm okay with that for a while. Hoping I can go from the condo into a home. I drove around for 7 hours today looking at properties. Didn't find two. Knocked two off my list. And have three I want to look in with an agent. Fixated on the one I couldn't get to yesterday. I've actually priced out SUVs so I could get to the home.

Long week. Pick someone up from the airport on Wednesday. Friend (sort of) is staying over Thursday on her travels through my state. Major meetings including with the lawyer paralegal Tuesday. I'm just not in the mind frame. I want to sleep until this financial crap is settled.

Ce la guerre
 
I cannot communicate clearly enough how much I dislike lawyer offices. So happy I decided not to go to law school. That would have been a horrible self sabotage. And here the paralegal knows very little. Don't understand why I can't talk to a lawyer. Ugh.

Eating still sucks but I'm reigning it in. This is ultra stressful. It would be so much easier to stay where I am for four more years but it's not healthy.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top