Journey, Not A Destination

Good morning. How are you doing? I mean really are you ok after all that has happened? I know it takes time and a lot of adjusting when you lose someone. Just was thinking about you and hope you are getting along ok!!:)
 
Good morning. How are you doing? I mean really are you ok after all that has happened? I know it takes time and a lot of adjusting when you lose someone. Just was thinking about you and hope you are getting along ok!!:)

I am actually doing quite well. I have experienced a lot of death in my life, unfortunately. That doesn't make it any easier as more people die, but I have learned that I move from the grieving process to the happy remembering process rather quickly. I don't know if it's a product of how much death I have experienced of close friends or if it's just pre-wired in my human nature. Whatever the case, I am happy for it.

I miss Jared. I spent a lot of time with him. But I am just happy and feel lucky that I had the time I did to share with him. :)
 
I am actually doing quite well. I have experienced a lot of death in my life, unfortunately. That doesn't make it any easier as more people die, but I have learned that I move from the grieving process to the happy remembering process rather quickly.

Me too. My only issue is I go into crying jags about a year later--but that's OK, I'm not ashamed to cry--it's good for me. :) I;m also glad you're doing well.

By the way the meaning of Life is Love. :eek:
 
Hi Steve,

I've been busy reading and catching up on everyone's diaries....I'm glad to see things are going well for you! Funny story about your jeans ripping....most of us are measuring our progress by our jeans falling off of us! :D

Hope your week is a good one!!!
 
Me too. My only issue is I go into crying jags about a year later--but that's OK, I'm not ashamed to cry--it's good for me. :) I;m also glad you're doing well.

By the way the meaning of Life is Love. :eek:

I don't know why, but I almost never cry. I am not afraid to do so in front of people. I have. And it certainly isn't about being macho or anything. I just never feel the urge. Or I should say, very seldomly.

Life = Love
 
Hi Steve,

I've been busy reading and catching up on everyone's diaries....I'm glad to see things are going well for you! Funny story about your jeans ripping....most of us are measuring our progress by our jeans falling off of us! :D

Hope your week is a good one!!!

Haha, so true. I wasn't exactly happy about the jeans, as they aren't cheap. However, it was a nice feeling to know that I am growing.
 
Hey Steve. I just read page 1 of your diary, are you still eating 4,000 cals a day? I think you said in one of your recent posts that added muscle mass doesn't increase your metabolism as much as people think, but I think you're walking proof that we can eat SO much more if we have muscle. I had a question about your routine. I've been lifting on and off since 1993, but I get bored and consequently take long breaks or will do just once or twice a week for a quick 30 minutes. Now I really don't have your lofty goals as I'm a chick that likes looking feminine and curvy and not that really athletic muscular look (that usually can only be achieved through steroids anyway if your female). Anyway, after lifting so often for so long, how do you keep the boredom at bay?? I mean, there are only so many exercises one can do right? Or maybe wrong. I'm not sure my goal is even to get more muscular, probably just to maintain what I have. I'd say I added a cup size in my boobs from the muscle underneath the feminine fat, and my butt and legs are pretty muscular too as are my arms. My muscles are more large rather than tight and defined. So what is your view on women's weight training goals, and how do you stave off the boredom? How can I tighten my muscles rather than growing them larger? TY
 
Hey Steve. I just read page 1 of your diary, are you still eating 4,000 cals a day? I think you said in one of your recent posts that added muscle mass doesn't increase your metabolism as much as people think, but I think you're walking proof that we can eat SO much more if we have muscle. I had a question about your routine. I've been lifting on and off since 1993, but I get bored and consequently take long breaks or will do just once or twice a week for a quick 30 minutes. Now I really don't have your lofty goals as I'm a chick that likes looking feminine and curvy and not that really athletic muscular look (that usually can only be achieved through steroids anyway if your female). Anyway, after lifting so often for so long, how do you keep the boredom at bay?? I mean, there are only so many exercises one can do right? Or maybe wrong. I'm not sure my goal is even to get more muscular, probably just to maintain what I have. I'd say I added a cup size in my boobs from the muscle underneath the feminine fat, and my butt and legs are pretty muscular too as are my arms. My muscles are more large rather than tight and defined. So what is your view on women's weight training goals, and how do you stave off the boredom? How can I tighten my muscles rather than growing them larger? TY

Good questions!

1. How do I stave off boredom in the weight room?

For me, it is easy. I love to lift weights. Just like I love to fish and read books. I know I will be doing all of these things for as long as I am humanly able to, because without them, there is a void.

But just as you would get bored fishing the same exact spot or reading the same exact book over and over again, of course you will get bored doing the same exact thing in the gym over and over again. At least I know I would.

How I train is constantly changing. There are so many variables you can manipulate. To name a few:

Exercise selection
Reps
Sets
Rests between sets/exercises
Tempo
Split
Frequency

I am sure I can think of more. Just from this, you can make changes for a long while. And I bet you haven't tried all the exercises. I don't think I have! In your response to this, I would be very interested to hear how you train?

Have you ever done a Pendlay Row? How about a SHELC? Or Saxon Side Bends? Or Pull Throughs? Push Presses? Bulgarian Split Squats?

I can throw out more exercises... all day long. ;)

FYI, I modify my routine on average, every 8 weeks or so currently. Most times I don't make any major changes as progressive overload is always an important factor in my training, but subtle changes keeps my body guessing and keeps me from feeling stale.

Plus, I have my long term goals so engrained in my mind that acute emotions associated with "todays" workout means very little in terms of how I feel over all. My mind is conditioned to think more long-term than that.

2. What is my view on women's weight training goals?

Truthfully, IMO, they don't differ than a man's. How you train is dictated by your goals, not your sex. I don't really know what else I can say about that. Are you asking something different?

3. How can I tighten my muscles rather than grow them larger?

Well, again, IMO, to get that tight, firm, dense look to muscle, you need to train heavy. This is why I was particularly interested in hearing how you train. We can discuss it more once you reply.

4. Are you still eating 4000 calories per day?

I am. Always around that amount. I am able to eat more food than some here no so much due to my muscle mass. There are many factors that go into determining your metabolic rate. I am blessed/cursed with a fast metabolism, depending on which way you look at it.
 
Sorry, pal, I don't think very many of us would call it "cursed"! :)

I know, again, it depends from which angle you look at it from.

How about this?

I would kill for a moderate metabolism and great genetics, LOL. That way, putting on mass wouldn't be so DAMN hard!
 
How about this?

I would kill for a moderate metabolism and great genetics, LOL. That way, putting on mass wouldn't be so DAMN hard!

haha. From my point of view:

I would kill for a metabolism and great genetics like Steve has, LOL. That way, taking off fat wouldn't be so DAMN hard! :D

Like you say, it's all in the POV.
 
but I think you're walking proof that we can eat SO much more if we have muscle.

I'm a chick that likes looking feminine and curvy and not that really athletic muscular look (that usually can only be achieved through steroids anyway if your female).

I'm not sure my goal is even to get more muscular, probably just to maintain what I have.

May I please make a comment here?

TY: I've been lifting for only 5 years. I have also slacked way off in the middle of those 5 years. But the times I liftied the heaviest, I have weighed the least. I honestly think that weights has drastically defined how much excess fat I'll be carrying. I find that when I pregoress in lifting, I can eat more and still be firm, not jiggly--of course I have to watch it. But I feel sick afterwards if I don't get some good protein in me (from fish and beans though, no meat for me). So I would tentatively agree.

On looks: I have a sinking suspicion that body type and genetics has a lot to do with how weights will affect us. Steve obviously is fighting his fast metabolism and probably tendency to get lean quick--but for the most part, we are stuck with what we got! Not really--I mean, we can try hard and achieve a body that we wouldn't otherwise be able to maintain without hard work. But you get my drift--I will always have bunny chub "love handles" as long as I'm not starving to death and skin and bones (trust me I like it--no problems, just mentioning). Drugs aside.

I am a proponent of muscles--it sure is nice to be strong. I was worried I'd get freakish-looking (and you can call me that, that's ok! LOL) when I increased, and true, when I flex it looks less than feminine. But when I'm relaxed, my arms and smooth and stream-lined--no more chubby bulges! It's really great, and I'm hoping to someday do more than 1 measly pull up ;)
 
Have you ever done a..Bulgarian Split Squats?

Truthfully, IMO, they don't differ than a man's. How you train is dictated by your goals, not your sex. I don't really know what else I can say about that. Are you asking something different?

3. How can I tighten my muscles rather than grow them larger?

Well, again, IMO, to get that tight, firm, dense look to muscle, you need to train heavy. This is why I was particularly interested in hearing how you train. We can discuss it more once you reply.

4. Are you still eating 4000 calories per day?

I am. Always around that amount. I am able to eat more food than some here no so much due to my muscle mass. There are many factors that go into determining your metabolic rate. I am blessed/cursed with a fast metabolism, depending on which way you look at it.

A bulgarian split squat? LOL I stopped reading the magazines years ago so I don't recall most of the names of the various exercises, so if you described these I'm sure I'd know what you were talking about. Of course that would take too long, but maybe you can describe the bulgarian split squat?

Now that you've discussed your body type, it sounds like you naturally get the tighter more defined muscles rather than the bulky type that I tend to get. And that's where I'm confused because I know you dont get very far in the gym going light but the heavier weights give me relatively large muscles after having done this so many years. Of course I look a lot better and firmer than when I stop lifting at times and I get my muscles back very quickly. Are you following me on the different body types -- a lot of mass (not as compared to men only as compared to the average female) vs. a lot of definition and firmness without the bulk. Can you recommend a routine I can do to compensate for my bulky tendency? They say high reps low weights but I dunno??

What I've done for several years now -- can we say "boringsville" -- is a quick routine that takes about 30 minutes but honestly does firm me up within weeks. I usually do this twice a week, though my goal is always more, I never really manage it anymore (though I used to do more years ago and before I had my baby). BTW, I have a gym quality elliptical at home so I do that a lot now. But for almost a decade I would do basically a bit of walking and the rest was pure lifting to lose and maintain weight.

Day 1
Chest Press w/ 35 lb dumbbells ( DB)
Chest Flys w/ 30 lb DBs
Shoulders Front - 12 lb DBs or 30 lb bar
Shoulder Press (above head) - 25 lb DBs
Triceps - either kick backs or pressing down on machine sitting or usually the one standing
Walking Lunges w/ 25 lb DBs - 2 sets of 24
Dead lift (?? bend over and hold barbell then slowly lift up from the waist) 70 lbs
2 to 3 ab different ab exercises (the ab work out is pretty varied--from crunches to planks to holding a plate when doing certain things)

Day 2
Lat Pull Down w/ 70 to 80 lbs
Seated Row (?? the machine not bent over w/ the barbell) 70 to 80 lbs
Shoulders - back - either bent over w/ 10 lb DBs or on that machine that works your chest but you can face the opposite direction and work the back of your shoulders(??) - 40 to 50 lbs
Shoulders - lateral (??) 12 lbs
Biceps - 15 lbs
Squats on Smith - my knees are shot these days so I'm starting back with 45 lbs on each side; I used to squat around 230 on the smith before I got pregnant. - 2 sets of 15 to 20
2 to 3 abs

I always do 2 sets of between 10 and 20 (usually 12 to 15).

Maybe I should hire a trainer to get some ideas start reading some magazines or something because this work-out has become pathetic (though I do still get results w/ fairly minimal effort). Your input is MUCH appreciated!
 
Heya Steve-

Just wanted to drop a line and say hello. Also, would you please consider moving to Arizona to train me? LOL! I kid, I kid! Well, kind of!
Seriously though, what a total motivater you are. I read a bit of your journal, and your determination shines so bright! It's so cool to see. I have an exbf who was in the Marine Corp and, I learned all these cadences, one reminds me of you. I won't go into it, but it so reminds me of you!
Also, I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Cherish the good times, and it sounds like you are. That's what I do too! Have a stellar day!

Ciao, Bello!

Deanna

Hiya Deanna. You are too kind! Certainly put a smile on my face.

-------------> :)

Thanks so much!
 
May I please make a comment here?

TY: I've been lifting for only 5 years. I have also slacked way off in the middle of those 5 years. But the times I liftied the heaviest, I have weighed the least. I honestly think that weights has drastically defined how much excess fat I'll be carrying. I find that when I pregoress in lifting, I can eat more and still be firm, not jiggly--of course I have to watch it. But I feel sick afterwards if I don't get some good protein in me (from fish and beans though, no meat for me). So I would tentatively agree.

On looks: I have a sinking suspicion that body type and genetics has a lot to do with how weights will affect us. Steve obviously is fighting his fast metabolism and probably tendency to get lean quick--but for the most part, we are stuck with what we got! Not really--I mean, we can try hard and achieve a body that we wouldn't otherwise be able to maintain without hard work. But you get my drift--I will always have bunny chub "love handles" as long as I'm not starving to death and skin and bones (trust me I like it--no problems, just mentioning). Drugs aside.

I am a proponent of muscles--it sure is nice to be strong. I was worried I'd get freakish-looking (and you can call me that, that's ok! LOL) when I increased, and true, when I flex it looks less than feminine. But when I'm relaxed, my arms and smooth and stream-lined--no more chubby bulges! It's really great, and I'm hoping to someday do more than 1 measly pull up ;)

Most people can improve their physiques to a point for greater than they know or imagine. Genetics in the picture or not.

And BELIEVE me. There is nothing masculine about you.

Plus, masculine is in the eye of the beholder. I know plenty of guys that find muscular women, attractive. Attractive AND feminine. Not all guys associate curves to being feminine.

It just so happens that I DO. But I certainly can't speak for all guys.

If you want, I can show you a website with a dear friend of mine on it who competes in figure competitions. She is drop dead gorgeous IMO. She is also JACKED.
 
May I please make a comment here?

TY: I've been lifting for only 5 years. I have also slacked way off in the middle of those 5 years. But the times I liftied the heaviest, I have weighed the least. I honestly think that weights has drastically defined how much excess fat I'll be carrying. I find that when I pregoress in lifting, I can eat more and still be firm, not jiggly--of course I have to watch it. But I feel sick afterwards if I don't get some good protein in me (from fish and beans though, no meat for me). So I would tentatively agree.

On looks: I have a sinking suspicion that body type and genetics has a lot to do with how weights will affect us. Steve obviously is fighting his fast metabolism and probably tendency to get lean quick--but for the most part, we are stuck with what we got! Not really--I mean, we can try hard and achieve a body that we wouldn't otherwise be able to maintain without hard work. But you get my drift--I will always have bunny chub "love handles" as long as I'm not starving to death and skin and bones (trust me I like it--no problems, just mentioning). Drugs aside.

I am a proponent of muscles--it sure is nice to be strong. I was worried I'd get freakish-looking (and you can call me that, that's ok! LOL) when I increased, and true, when I flex it looks less than feminine. But when I'm relaxed, my arms and smooth and stream-lined--no more chubby bulges! It's really great, and I'm hoping to someday do more than 1 measly pull up ;)

I totally agree with you Curvie. I am of the genetic type that puts on weight, unlike my naturally slim sister and husband, because I have a large appetite and I seem to be constantly hungry (except on some days where I have no appetite at all like today and yesterday). I've always been curvy and hour glass shaped with a small waist and big butt and boobs. So I never want to lose those feminine curves, but I realized over a decade ago that the only way to be able to stay in shape was to have a lot of muscle to burn all those calories. And muscles actually added more curves -- if you have body fat covering your muscles; I can flex my boobs but the muscle mixed with fat looks like all boob, especially in a pushup bra (snicker). So does the butt, looks bigger and more perky with bulky muscle and I like that. And it really did work to keep the weight at bay with minimal time commitment -- until I became pregnant that is.

And I love being strong too Curvie. Living in NYC, its helpful to be able to defend yourself. I had a girl about 8 inches taller than me try to push me around on the subway and she was threatening me but I was shocked when she attacked me and I was literally controlling her, she could not push past me despite my honestly using very minimal effort. And without even planning on it, just to get away, I must've punched her in the eye because she had a big blood clot in it. She was pissed! LOL But I think aside from all that tough yelling about how I was so short and she would kick my ass, she knew I was STRONG and she couldn't get control over me physically. It was too too funny! That was years ago but it sure did show me my strength.
 
A bulgarian split squat? LOL I stopped reading the magazines years ago so I don't recall most of the names of the various exercises, so if you described these I'm sure I'd know what you were talking about. Of course that would take too long, but maybe you can describe the bulgarian split squat?

Pardon my language, but magazines are SHIT. When I was in high school, I bought a subscription to Muscle and Fitness. Supposedly one of the "good" ones. Nope. Since then, I have bought many and recommend none.

And I highly doubt you would find ANY of those exercises in a magazine. Out of all of them, Bulgarians are probably the most likely you would see.

I was just throwing names out there of exercises that most don't know to prove that you haven't done everything under the sun already.

And remember, exercise selection is only one variable.

Now that you've discussed your body type, it sounds like you naturally get the tighter more defined muscles rather than the bulky type that I tend to get.

Ahhh, in theory, there are different kinds of hypertrophy (muscle growth). However, in practice, not so much. Muscles respond from training or they don't. And that response, if it happens, is growth. NOT toning. So just as your muscles grow from training, so do mine.

And that's where I'm confused because I know you dont get very far in the gym going light but the heavier weights give me relatively large muscles after having done this so many years.

Light weights, high reps is certainly not the way to go. Which it sounds like you know.

And I will probably touch on this again later in this post. But I have the sneaky suspicion that your definition of "heavy" is very different than my definition of heavy.

Of course I look a lot better and firmer than when I stop lifting at times and I get my muscles back very quickly. Are you following me on the different body types -- a lot of mass (not as compared to men only as compared to the average female) vs. a lot of definition and firmness without the bulk.

Certainly, there are different body types. Ectomorph, endomorph, mesomorph. I can't tell without seeing you, but it seems like you are blend of ecto and meso.

However, your body just responds "easier" to weights. Not differently. Catch my drift.

Truthfully, it sounds to me like you simply need to reduce body fat in order to "lean out." It is tough to tell without seeing a picture, but from the words you are saying, that is what it sounds like to me.

Let me also say this. You don't add appreciable amounts of muscle without being in a CALORIC SURPLUS. If you have found yourself growing big, bulky muscles with ease, especially being female, you are eating over maintenance.

Diet/nutrition controls the way your physique responds to training more so than training in and of itself.

Can you recommend a routine I can do to compensate for my bulky tendency? They say high reps low weights but I dunno??

What I've done for several years now -- can we say "boringsville" -- is a quick routine that takes about 30 minutes but honestly does firm me up within weeks. I usually do this twice a week, though my goal is always more, I never really manage it anymore (though I used to do more years ago and before I had my baby). BTW, I have a gym quality elliptical at home so I do that a lot now. But for almost a decade I would do basically a bit of walking and the rest was pure lifting to lose and maintain weight.

Day 1
Chest Press w/ 35 lb dumbbells ( DB)
Chest Flys w/ 30 lb DBs
Shoulders Front - 12 lb DBs or 30 lb bar
Shoulder Press (above head) - 25 lb DBs
Triceps - either kick backs or pressing down on machine sitting or usually the one standing
Walking Lunges w/ 25 lb DBs - 2 sets of 24
Dead lift (?? bend over and hold barbell then slowly lift up from the waist) 70 lbs
2 to 3 ab different ab exercises (the ab work out is pretty varied--from crunches to planks to holding a plate when doing certain things)

Day 2
Lat Pull Down w/ 70 to 80 lbs
Seated Row (?? the machine not bent over w/ the barbell) 70 to 80 lbs
Shoulders - back - either bent over w/ 10 lb DBs or on that machine that works your chest but you can face the opposite direction and work the back of your shoulders(??) - 40 to 50 lbs
Shoulders - lateral (??) 12 lbs
Biceps - 15 lbs
Squats on Smith - my knees are shot these days so I'm starting back with 45 lbs on each side; I used to squat around 230 on the smith before I got pregnant. - 2 sets of 15 to 20
2 to 3 abs

I always do 2 sets of between 10 and 20 (usually 12 to 15).

Maybe I should hire a trainer to get some ideas start reading some magazines or something because this work-out has become pathetic (though I do still get results w/ fairly minimal effort). Your input is MUCH appreciated!


Ahhh, just as I suspected. You are NOT training heavy relative to my definition. Heaviness or weight dictates rep range. The heavier you go, the less reps you can perform, and vice versa.

That said, my definition of heavy dictates a rep range of about 4-6.

Before we get into training splits and periodizations, I would also like to know your stats (age, weight, height) and how you've been eating. Honestly, from where I am sitting and the knowledge I have from working with A LOT of people, your problem lies in nutrition more so than anything else. That is just a guess though, without knowing more at this point.

And before you reply, I suggest you read this workout I posted to get an idea of the type of training I am talking about:

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/weight-loss-through-exercise/11048-workout.html
 
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