Jen's Diary

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JayFS said:
I need to sign up for a gym membership, but I've always been so self-conscious about working out in public. Do you think it'd be best to work out early in the morning when the population is low? Or... is it higher in the morning? Or does it not matter and you had a good time anyway? Haha.
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I think it's less busy in the morning and around lunch time. I used to go with my friend in the mornings and there was usually only a few people there. The last time Chef and I went it was around 6 or 7 o'clock at night and there was quite a few meathead type dudes there. I should also mention that we live in a VERY small town, so that cuts down on the amount of people at our gym. If we lived in a bigger city I probably wouldn't be going. lol.
 
Ok... so yesterday was not so good. I'm blaming my future mother-in-law though. lol. She sent a Easter box full of chocolate for all of us. I ate way too many of those. We also had a bigger dinner, which definitely didn't help things. Holiday weekends are hard, especially when there's chocolate involved. lol.
 
Since my MIL died early last year we no longer get so tangled up in the BIG Easter celebrations. I miss her, but not the gross amounts of chocolate, nor the HUGE family get-togethers. I can honestly say that I have not consumed one solitary Easter egg this Easter, for probably the first time in my life. Whoops, I just tripped over my halo! I might add that milk chocolate makes me feel sick. Happy Easter Jen, chef & family!
 
jen_renee said:
Ok... so yesterday was not so good. I'm blaming my future mother-in-law though. lol. She sent a Easter box full of chocolate for all of us. I ate way too many of those. We also had a bigger dinner, which definitely didn't help things. Holiday weekends are hard, especially when there's chocolate involved. lol.
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Yeah, my mom is a total bitch. Sending us boxes of chocolate - delicious, delicious chocolate - when we're on a diet? What a dick move.
 
Thanks, Cate! :)


213.6 this morning. Not really sure how I LOST weight while eating almost an entire box of chocolate covered caramels by myself, pizza, and a few other not so good things, but I'll go with it. lol

Today is the last day of Spring Break. :) I have a bunch of laundry to do today, but other than that there is not a lot to report. We didn't really do much this weekend, just hung out around the house.

Going to try to get on the treadmill later. Oh, and the "Easter bunny" brought the kids hula hoops with their Easter baskets, so I'll also be giving that a go later. Should be hilarious.


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Also wanted to add that there has been a LOT of spam around the forum lately. I've been reporting it left and right. If you see it... report it. I'd hate to see the forum turn into spamville. It makes the forum look bad, and turns away possible new members that might have good things to contribute. :)
 
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Great job with your weight loss journey! Get refocused and do all the right things that had helped you get down to 185 last year. Make this your year! Only have those things you listed as your "biggest obstacles" on special occasions. Make exercise fun! Find a workout buddy, or join a fun class. Any way, good luck!
 
jen_renee said:
Thanks, Cate! :)


213.6 this morning. Not really sure how I LOST weight while eating almost an entire box of chocolate covered caramels by myself, pizza, and a few other not so good things, but I'll go with it. lol

Today is the last day of Spring Break. :) I have a bunch of laundry to do today, but other than that there is not a lot to report. We didn't really do much this weekend, just hung out around the house.

Going to try to get on the treadmill later. Oh, and the "Easter bunny" brought the kids hula hoops with their Easter baskets, so I'll also be giving that a go later. Should be hilarious.


***Edit***

Also wanted to add that there has been a LOT of spam around the forum lately. I've been reporting it left and right. If you see it... report it. I'd hate to see the forum turn into spamville. It makes the forum look bad, and turns away possible new members that might have good things to contribute. :)
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eh, it's a holiday, haha! We gotta be nice to ourselves every once in a while. I'm sure a little chocolate binge wouldn't hurt if it only happens a handful of times a year.
 
"It's a slow process. Don't make it slower by quitting"

Hi again, Jen-Renee:

There It Is!!! You really nailed it with that one! I used to give up over less than my holiday Easter treat. One peep and I'd turn into a hen having a nervous breakdown and need to take chicken Xanax! I am glad to be out of my impulsive mode and more willing to be nice to myself while losing weight. I refuse to weigh myself this week. I am going to stay off the scale and treat myself with dignity instead of empty calories and empty, unrealistic promises.

You sound really good and strong!
 
I feel nervous about Easter holidays as it seems that there would be a lot of social occasions that it would be difficult enough to limit eating and stay on track. I want to stay on track and i would try but i would know after nearly two weeks. It's a 2 weeks testing time i think. Happy holidays to everyone!
 
Hi Jen, I report it too. I tire of people who complain, yet do nothing. It's our forum & it's worth protecting. The mods do a great job, but we shouldn't leave all the work to them. I had a really long day yesterday & was tired & someone put a basket of little Easter eggs in front of me, which I did not leave alone. Woke up in the middle of the night with a raging headache. My halo has evaporated! :( I'm glad you still managed to lose over Easter. :D WIN! xo Cate
 
Thanks, guys!!



Down to 212.2 this morning.

I have to admit my mood is not the best. I got into it with my mother yesterday, which resulted in a mini meltdown. My diet did not suffer yesterday though.

So here's a vent:

I just feel run ragged. My mother is VERY demanding. I'm at a time in my life where I feel like I should be worrying about my little family, having fun, doing things for us. I realize that my mom needs help, but she's gotten to the point where she expects me to drop everything I'm doing and cater to her needs. I try to set up days where I will do things for her... grocery shopping, banking, dr appts, dentist appts, hair appts, picking up meds, etc. ...but she continues to ask/give guilt trips to get me to do more on other days. She also demands and gives guilt trips if I don't bring my kids over to see her at least twice a week....and she would prefer more than that. I get the grandmas want to see their grandkids, but I think once or twice a week is enough, but she will sit there and tell my kids something to the effect of ..."I'd like to see you more, but mom won't let me." She is just exhausting. She refuses to take the public bus anywhere, for a list of reasons that's a mile long. She has an excuse for everything. If it's something she WANTS to do than she will find a way to do it(example craft class and water aerobics every week)....but if it's something she doesn't want to do, than she's not doing it. I know her knees hurt her...she does need a double knee replacement. So I understand that there are things that she does need me to do, which I'm fine with, but it's the other stuff that has become overwhelming. My brother lives a 1000 miles away and has absolutely no desire to move back,even though he has nothing keeping him there, so I know that things are only going to get worse the older she gets. I have a very hard time not feeling extreme anger for him since he has pretty much said that he's never moving back. She doesn't want to move to be near him and leave her grandkids, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't want her there. I'm in my 30s... I should be having fun, going places, doing things with my family... but no. I think that all hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday. Like when do I get to live my life? I spent my teenage years/early 20s helping with a disabled dad who eventually passed away.. I had kids in my 20s so that kind of sucked up my time. Now that my kids are a little older and I should be able to concentrate a little more on what I want to do... I can't because I have her as a responsibility.

It's gotten so bad that she actually told me this other day while we were waiting at the doctors office... "You're going to HAVE to go to the grocery store twice a week for me now for bananas.... The bananas you get are not lasting the whole week, so you need to go twice"...... .hahhaha. Like are you kidding me. I'm not going to the store twice a week to get you BANANAS. Not happening.

And here's a gem from yesterday.... after hearing that I was tired because I had to do our grocery shopping and cleaned our house....."Why would you do that on a day that you KNOW you have to do stuff for ME! You should know better" ....I don't know mom, cuz it needed to get done?

This is also a woman that gave me about two weeks before she expected me to start doing stuff again for her after I almost DIED. During that time she relied on the few friends she had and her sister to help her.... but she won't ask them to do stuff for her now, at least not very often. And her sister has her own problems now and can't really help that much.


...and on top of that add the fact that I'm engaged, should be planning a wedding, have two school aged kids with a ton of homework, and a house of mine own to take care of.


It's just like.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.... but then again.. she is my MOTHER..and I do love her. Needless to stay I took some xanax last night and passed the hell out. LOL.


That was a long vent...sorry.

TL;DR.... my mother drives me nuts. haha.
 
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I worry about this kind of thing a lot. My siblings and I are all in different states and my mother isn't in any of them. She's a healthy as can be now but at some point and time that won't be the case. Unfortunately for her she may need to move from Florida to Boston when the time comes for her to be taken care of. Hopefully she's ok with this!

My two cents - definitely set boundaries and keep them. You seem stable enough to understand what's a necessity and what's not. Buy her some dehydrated bananas. She'll push the limits as much as you let her, so be very careful about what you let her get away with. Explain to her how you're feeling but don't expect her to understand... You'll just feel better if you know you tried. Can she come hang out at your house to see the kids? Everything you're feeling seems totally justified, you gotta keep yourself sane and happy!
 
:iagree: with Oaks Jen. Everything that you're feeling right now seems absolutely justified. Your mother needs to be told. It is not fair to you at all. Your mother needs clear boundaries set & you need not to be feeling guilty. You could suggest a nursing home for her instead ;) if your care is not up to scratch! xoC
 
Agree with both the voices of sanity up there!
Otherwise: I am that sibling who moved a thousand miles away and while my parents are both relatively young and healthy now I know there will come a day when they will need help and there is no way I´m going to move back there to care for them. First because even though I´m single and could work pretty much anywhere: I like living here. Second: as much as I adore my folks I can´t spend more then 10 days near them before irritation starts to set in (from both sides). And third: I am not a caring person. I can do it in my job and do it very well but in real life it would break my brain. I´d probably feel guilty about it, try to help organize professional care and visit more often but that´s it. That must sound terribly selfish... Luckily my parents know me very well and don´t expect me to be someone I´m not or do things that would be bad for me.

I really hope you will find a workable solution (and your mom will see some sense).
 
My mom tried to give me a little guilt on Easter about not seeing them more often, but I do see them usually at least once a week and both my Mom and Dad are around to keep each other occupied and busy. My sister is about an eight hour drive away. I'm about a 40 minute drive away (despite living in the same city, they're all sorts of out of the way).

Just one of those things I guess.
 
Thanks, guys! I just had to have a vent. It was either that or eat the entire bag of frozen cookie dough in the freezer.

So after venting on here, and having kind of a blah day I had some ice cream and a couple drinks last night. Nothing too horrible, but I probably still shouldn't have done it. Scale was only up a tad this morning, so I'm not too worried about it. I don't plan on having any more cheat nights for a while. Chef is planning one for this weekend because Game of Thrones is on, but I won't be able to partake in that because I have to get up early the next morning.

Today's been pretty good so far. Slept in a little bit, got up and did a little cleaning. OH...speaking of....Last night right before we went to bed I was feeding the fish....Which is a fish my daughter won at the carnival 4 YEARS ago. So beware, some of them do live longer than a week after you bring them home. lol! Anyways...I'm feeding the fish and accidentally dropped the can of fish food... It hit the shelf right in front of my face and went everywhere....EVERYWHERE. It was like a fish food confetti explosion. Fun way to end the night. I vacuumed it up this morning...what a mess. lol.

Going to eat light this afternoon, because I'm making spaghetti for dinner. It's one of my son's favorites, and he hasn't had it in quite a while. He'll be excited to hear that's what we're having for dinner tonight. :)
 
So, I picked the kids up from school and I told Cam that we were having spaghetti and he stopped in his tracks and practically did a little happy dance right in the parking lot. haha. The kid loves his spaghetti.

The day went good. Got a couple things done that I've been putting off, so that was nice. Tomorrow is Friday! I'm looking forward to the weekend!
 
Haha, spaghetti is MUCH better than fish sprinkles! It must be fun to be able to light up someone's day like that.

I knew Game of Thrones was coming back soon but I didn't realize it was this week! I'm excited now.
 
Oaks said:
I knew Game of Thrones was coming back soon but I didn't realize it was this week! I'm excited now.
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Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAAAAAY!!!

Game of Thrones is my jam. It is NOT, however, Jen's jam. She thinks I watch it solely for the boobies. But, she's wrong. I watch it for the man-butts.
 
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