Jason's Diary

Geam

Geam

New member
A few weeks ago I posted a 'hello' introduction on the New Members section and now I need to start a diary. I am sure this thread will be rife with both angst and glee, swapping in a feverish pace. I hope to use this diary as a place to put my thoughts in writing on the good and bad things that happen. I have been psyching myself up over the past several weeks to really get on the right track and get into shape. My biggest trouble has been inspiration and keeping myself responsible through regular entries here should provide help. I have also joined a challenge on this forum that will hopefully help me jump-start my journey.

I was also going to post an exceedingly long questionnaire based on some diaries here and some places I found through Google. Unfortunately there is a 10,000 character limit on posts and, well, I exceeded that. The next post will include the questions and my answers.

Lastly, I want to document some of my goals as I see them today. I can all but guarantee they will change over the next months and longer, but this is what I see now. I hope to keep my current goal (at least) in my signature and that will follow my posts.

  • Weight in Oct 2004: 300# (estimated)
  • Weight in Sep 2007: 275#
  • Current weight: 265#
  • Current goal: 240# (Feb 2008?)
  • Future goal: 225#
  • Someday: 200#
My full weight-loss ticker with history graph:

See you around the board!

--Jason
 
Questionnaire

  1. What is your current height and weight?
    I am 6'1" and about 265#.

  2. If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be?
    Ideally I would like to be 200# -- assuming my body type would allow that and remain strong, which is not to be confused with muscular or bulky.

  3. At what weight would you like to be at four months from now?
    By the end of February, I would like to be less than 240#.

  4. Why do you want to lose weight?
    I want to look better, feel more healthy, and keep myself from finding a slippery slope that leads to an overweight, unhealthy, and unhappy life. (This was the most difficult question to answer.)

  5. Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event?
    Primarily, no... but losing weight for my ten-year High School reunion sounds like a good goal. That will be in mid-2010.

  6. What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
    Food... and a lack of willpower around it. To a much lesser extent, work could also be a problem. Working a desk job that sometimes requires long hours, an unhealthy lunch sometimes seems like a good idea. Also, getting home tired I sometimes do not want to cook and eat something unhealthy.

  7. Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
    Food... and a lack of willpower around it... and my family while growing up. My grandmother (who I spent a lot of time with) and my mother (who learned it from said grandmother) always like to have snacks around for other people and I took plenty of advantage of that. I am trying to change this by finding things to do that are not eating.

  8. What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight?
    Finding hobbies. I would really like to find something productive I can do at home that has tangible results. I have tried cross-stitch, but did not get into it very much. Getting out to go geocaching or taking photos will help a lot.

  9. Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight?
    In the past several years I have slowly lost weight from what I estimate of my peak of 300# down to 275# without really trying other than thinking about what I am eating (although nothing really changed) and starting to go to the gym. More recently I have been trying, but with poor motivation.

  10. Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back?
    I can figure out what my goals should be, but I cannot get myself to work towards them. Long-term goals always seem long-distance. I am now trying to make a series of short-term goals.

  11. What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work?
    I have not really tried until the past couple years. I quit drinking pop and that has helped somewhat, but I need to watch what I eat and, more importantly, when I eat.

  12. Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?
    I really do not want to do that.

  13. Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?
    I really do enjoy cooking, but I cook for four people and plan for leftovers -- but I live by myself. That usually leads to packing two or three lunches and eating a portion-and-a-half per meal for several meals. I make many things: my own recipe of Bachelor Chow (the base is browned ground meat with rice); spaghetti; quiche; salads; chicken and pasta; slow-cooker roasts; fried and/or breaded tofu. My evening meals after work are usually created on the fly and become meals by definition: I take a protein (usually ground beef, chicken, or tofu) and starch (usually rice or pasta) and combine them together with seasoning and whatever else I have around.

  14. How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?
    Every few weeks I go out to eat with friends. I try to order a reasonable meal, but being that I am American, all meals are served with extra large portions and I have a habit of cleaning my plate thoroughly. I have the plan to take half of the food and either just throw it away as the meal is served (namely the french fries) or start asking for a side of vegetables instead of fries. When I go out for pizza, I need to just eat a few pieces instead of my share of the pizza by division -- which is usually half of the pie. I have found many times that eating what should be a normal portion keeps me full for hours and I do not need to eat fast enough to finish what is served and feel stuffed at the end.

  15. What are your three favorite foods?
    Sushi.
    Pizza.
    Properly grilled... anything. (Fish, steak, chicken, etc.)

  16. What are your three favorite restaurants?
    Wasabi. (Japanese; sushi, udon soup, and Sapporo beer on tap! Hell yes!)
    Runyon's. (American/bar; the only chicken wings I like -- plus good sandwiches.)
    Galactic Pizza. (Pizza; the Paul Bunyan all-Minnesota pizza with wild rice and bison is great!)

  17. What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?
    Eat smaller portions. Do not eat out of boredom/depression/angst.

  18. If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?
    Well, my clothes would not fit. I really do not know how to answer this one.

  19. Do you eat when you are not hungry?
    ALL THE FRACKING TIME!

  20. Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?
    Yes. Not often, though.

  21. Do you hide your food or eat in secret?
    Not really. When I go visit my parents, I find myself sneaking food for no apparent reason.

  22. Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?
    Yes, yes, and yes. Eating during any of those three make the condition worse.

  23. Do you eat as a reward?
    No. The idea comes to mind, but I do not follow through. I love to bake (the act is more important than the end result) and want to use that as a reward, but realize it is not worth the effort.

  24. Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?
    Yes, but not as a habit. When eating meals I am usually on the couch or at my desk -- mainly because my desk is really the only table I use. I am not eating while putting this together and the thought did not even cross my mind. I am drinking water, though.

  25. What do you normally eat for a meal?
    Breakfast: a bowl of cereal (whatever cereal du jour) if I have a few minutes. Toast or something simple if I do not. There is always time for breakfast, though.
    Lunch: Either leftovers from a previously made evening meal or something from a nearby restaurant on work days (sandwich, salad, standard downtown restaurant lunch fare).
    Dinner: When I am up for it, something from the home-cooking question above (usually a protein and rice). When I am lazy, a bowl or two of cereal. There is an in-between level, too.

  26. What type of snacks do you eat?
    It really depends on what I have on hand. An apple, crackers, a half bag of chocolate chips, so many peanuts I feel nauseous... I need to just have four or five small meals in a day instead of three meals and then constant grazing the rest of the day. At work I usually only eat at lunch (that is assuming that candy does not count most days! ha!) and need to do something about a mid-afternoon snack. I should just get a bunch of almonds, homemade granola, dried fruit, and other snacks, bag them into several weeks of individual snack size portions, and keep them in my desk. I really think I can limit myself to one bag a day -- especially if they are out of sight and reach. That will surely help with my post-work binge/dinner. Eating while standing in the kitchen does not count either, right?

  27. In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?
    I go to the gym... regularly? Sometimes a week passes without going. Sometimes I go five times in nine days. I had a period until a few weeks ago where I was doing an hour of cardio at the gym. I recently switched to 20-30 minutes of weights and 30 minutes of cardio. I hope to get on a better schedule and routine. Sometimes it is easier to make excuses than to go.

  28. Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home?
    I go to a local public gym. I started there because the insurance at my previous job paid for $20/month of the membership. My new job does not have that, but I make more money. It is a worthwhile investment anyway.

  29. What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise?
    I have been on the treadmill a lot in the past many months. I am going to rotate my cardio between that, a stationary bike, and elliptical machine. That will give me more variety. I also like some of the weight machines, but that fondness wavers and varies on a daily basis.

  30. What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?
    Recently I saw a series of before-and-after pictures of someone who was wearing a much-too-small shirt and shrunk into it. I want to do that. I want to get a shirt before the first of the month and take pictures on the first of the month until it fits properly. The first few are going to be hard, but I hope looking at them regularly will inspire me.

  31. Do you have rewards for certain goals?
    When I hit 240# (which is my first goal), I want to get a tattoo to remember the landmark. It will hopefully be a permanent reminder never to hit that number again. I am sure I will think of other levels at which a tattoo will be appropriate. I do have a medium-term goal of buying a new work wardrobe (button-up long-sleeve shirts instead of polo shirts) when I hit 225#. I will have to see how things look when I get closer to that goal. I am sure I will think of other rewards as I go along.
 
welcome to weight loss forum. it was really fab that you filled out that questionnaire - not many people do but i think it really makes you knuckle down into thinking long and hard about the reasons you are here and doing what you are doing. i sometimes think that i would not have fallen off the wagon if i had filled one of those in.
but can i just say that i really do think keeping a daily food diary is the best thing i do - it makes me reanalyse and think about what i am putting into/going to put into or have put into my body. it makes me think about my portion sizes and stops me from sneaking extras from the bag etcetc because i will put it all in my diary on here. my calorie intake without it was probably about 2400 but with it is now averaging around 1600 :)
congratulations on the weight loss yiu have seen so far - it shows that you can do it! - and i hope to see you around here some more to tell us about all the rest of the weight you are losing!
Sophie :waving:
 
Thanks for the support, Sophie. I joined the Holiday Challenge recently (since I filled out the questionnaire a few days ago, actually) and the first week bonus activity is to log your food intake every day for a week. I have dne that since Saturday now and it is not that bad. I am keeping it very generic for portion size (like "small bowl of cereal" or "8 oz of juice"), but I know what it means to me. Maybe I will keep it up. There is always the thought "do I really need to eat that? if I do, I will have to write it down later." that guilts me into skipping that bowl of candy at work.

Separately from that...

Today for lunch I brought a Glad resealable container thing with rice, green beans, and pork tenderloin -- leftovers from last night. I was getting a bit hungry come lunchtime, but about half-way through eating I realized that I had pretty much enough and set it aside. I was working at my desk while eating (some projets just cannot wait!) and found myself finishing the rest of it over the next short while. I do not really know why I did that, but tonight I am going to have some of the lunch I packed for tomorrow (the exact same thing) for dinner and not bring as much tomorrow.

I do still need to work on my afternoon-snack plan. Perhaps tonight after the gym I will stop by the grocery store and pick something up.
 
Hi Jason.

I think it's really cool that you're gonna get a tattoo when you reach 240 to symbolize your success. What a cool thing to do. It makes me want to do something like that. I'm not sure about a tattoo, lol, but something else. Hmm... Guess I'll have to think about it.

I think you're doing great so far, congrats on the weight loss already achieved. Also, if you don't want to track your food, then it's something that you shouldn't do. Everybody has their own style and things that work for them.

I'll keep checking back. Have a great day.

Jennifer
 
Distracted eating is a big problem for me. I try to plan out my meals in advance and then when I eat them, I sit down at a table (not computer desk) and really focus on the food. I enjoy it more and tend to eat it slower. It sounds kind of odd, but it really does work!
 
Lunch today was basically the same as yesterday, but this time I had less to mindlessly eat. I was quite hungry when I went back to the breakroom to grab my lunch and was working on a few things while I scarfed it down. Last night for dinner I had some of the pork, rice, and green beans with my dinner and was just the right amount full when I finished.

Lesson learned: bring a smaller lunch. If I am hungry again in the afternoon, I can always go down and get a smoothie or other treat at a nearby restaurant. It will get me away from my desk at least!

I think I am going for a walk. Not so much for the excercize, but to clear my head. So many things are going on at work right now and I do not think anything is on fire.

:)
 
A couple quick notes before I have to go get ready for work:

- I am down 4# for the week. Hell yes. I fear that will make the remaining six weeks of the Holiday Challenge deal in the other part of the forum difficult. I will deal.

- Yesterday I bought the book 'How to Cook Everything Vegetarian'. I am not going to stop eating meat. As much as I hate buzzwords, 'flexitarian' is what I am rather leaning toward. Less meat, but not none. This book has the idea to try to make meals about eating balanced food, not a meat-centered meal with crappy side-dishes without flavor.

- Also yesterday, I was not really in the mood to go to the gym, but went anyway. I had to decide between reading my new book and going there and my brain was not in the mood for reading. It turns out I spent about 20-25 minutes with the weights (leg press, seated row, bench pull, etc.) and then 40 minutes on the Elliptical machine. Using its age, weight, resistance, and speed calculations, I apparently burned 800 calories on that alone.

- At the gym there is a Holiday Explosion contest deal going on. Everyone that chooses to participate chooses a goal of calories (there are three categories; 15k, 21k, and 30k calories, I think) and has the duration of the contest to complete three levels (each being one-third of the total). The other day I passed the first goal, which gets me a t-shirt, and I am well on my way to the second. The last contest I did not quite make it to the third goal for various reasons, but this time I will!

I've got to jet. Have a great weekend!
 
I have not updated this lately (obviously!), but I have been doing well towards my goals. I have become pretty much vegetarian lately, which is only difficult in certain situations. I also have pretty much quit drinking as well. I did not drink a lot before, but cutting that out should probably help some as well. I know I am going to eat meat and drink again, but I just do not see a need to do that in the near future.

That brings us to the next big challenge: Thanksgiving weekend at my parents' house. They eat theoretically healthy food (grilled meat, pasta, etc.), but eat too much of it and instilled that ability into me from a very young age. Also, meals there are a meat as the center of the meal with side-dishes skirting the sides of the plate. I am trying to change my eating habits into each different food being equally important to a meal. My biggest concern is the absolute amount of food available and presented to me like bars, cookies, ice cream, chips, and other food that I do not like to keep around my place. I will just have to keep tabs on myself.

For Thanksgiving dinner, my dad is making turkey and venison (fresh, thanks to my brother), I am hoping my grandmother can make dressing (which I have yet to actually ask her about), and I am going to make a green bean hotdish (which is like a casserole, but made in Minnesota), cranberry sauce (from scratch), mashed potatoes, bread (which I made this weekend), and pumpkin bread for dessert. I have yet to decide if I will have any of the meat and I think that is a decision I have to make once I sit down at the table.

The forum challenge I am in is going well. As of the points tallied yesterday, I am in the top half of the contestants. I am a bit behind because I really did not want to do the week two challenge of staying within a daily calorie goal range. I am doing well just watching what I eat and really do not want that much work.

That was some good rambling.
 
So today I (1) ate far too much and (2) ate meat. It was all delicious!!! Since none of the calories consumed while standing in the kitchen or while cooking count [citation needed], I should be fine since I only had a plateful-and-a-half of food at the dinner table... and pie later. I was so full today, I actually did not eat anything since this afternoon. Tomorrow I might go for a walk (although it is blasted cold here in Northern Minnesota at my parents' house this weekend) and will probably just have a couple light meals. I hope to get back home Saturday early enough for a workout at the gym and will certainly get a nice workout in on Wednesday.

I am so very much looking forward to making some black bean chili in the next week or two. I do not have a specific recipe, but found a few through Google in my quick searches and I think there might be a good one in my new cookbook. Reading through that cookbook has provided me with a few good ideas. I am really hoping to make some good vegetarian meals.
 
A couple quick tidbits:

- This morning I was having a lucid dream about walking around some strange Boston (I was there several weeks ago) that involved a lot of strange things that have nothing to do with anything... but then suddenly in the course of what must have been two seconds went from realizing that the lucid dream was getting too weird and had to shut down, to thinking about someone I went to highschool with, to thinking about how I want to lose weight before my ten-year high school reunion when I will likely see her again. That is really strange because that is not until the summer of 2010.

- On Thursday before Thanksgiving I admitted to my parents that I had not had meat for two weeks. I told them separately and did say that I surely would be having turkey with our dinner. My dad asked me if I had been doing that on purpose (half jokingly) and thought it was neat. The first thing that my mom said was that I had to be careful not to become anemic. The very first thing. I look just as healthy as I did last time I saw her, but she was worried that I was not getting enough to eat. That may be the definition of a mother in Minnesota, but I was really taken aback. Starting tomorrow again I am going to go without meat for a while -- probably until I come up here again for Christmas.

- I really need to get my diet back on track. Thanksgiving is delicious and detramental to weight loss. It is all good, though. I would probably go crazy if I went too long eating only healthy stuff.

- After I hit Submit, I am going to go hang out with my grandma and have lunch. There really is not more to it than that, but I am really looking forward to it. She is great. :)
 
Just a quick on because I am at work (although it it lunchtime):

- This weekend (well, Thursday through Saturday) was rough. Not only did I eat /way/ too much at Thanksgiving dinner, but my mom made big breakfasts, and I had a dozen cookies at my grandma's house. Half-way through each of the sessions I realized what I was doing (slipping into my old ways) and did not stop. It is okay. It is over now. Christmas will be easier.

- This whole vegetarian thing is going well. The biggest obsticle is lunchtime at work. If I do not bring anything (which I do most days), I have a few options at the local downtown restaurants. It is nice that each place has the token vegetarian meal, but I would like to find a fully vegetarian restaurant. Unfortunately we (as Americans) seem to feel that you have not actually eaten a meal until there is meat.

- Another obsticle (worthy of his own section here, even) is the Operations manager here at work. For whatever reason (read as: he does not do anything else) he is the one that orders lunches when the company decides to give us a free lunch. He must have some stock in Cousins subs as 75% of the time that is what we have. The other times (like today) he will order something like three trays of lasagna, a big salad, and breadsticks. All three trays of lasagna are meat because a veggie option would have to be the whole tray. I wonder to myself why he thinks that someone who does eat meat regularly would require meat at every meal. Also, the food has been out for 30 minutes, the initial rush is long over, and there is still a full tray worth of food left... plus most of the salad.

- Am I becoming preachy in my pseudo-vegetarianism? I hope not.
 
Hey. Don't be too hard on yourself over what went down over Thanksgiving. I was right there with ya. It seemed like I ate more pie than I ever have in my life.... It looks like you have some great goals you've set for yourself and I totally think you can reach them. Your doing great.

BTW, Stagg makes a terrific Vegetarian Chili, and I eat it at least once a week and I'm not even a vegetarian, lol.

-Sam
 
sammyboy24 said:
Hey. Don't be too hard on yourself over what went down over Thanksgiving. I was right there with ya. It seemed like I ate more pie than I ever have in my life.... It looks like you have some great goals you've set for yourself and I totally think you can reach them. Your doing great.


-Sam
Click to expand...

I completely agree. One day can be overlooked, as long as you don't make a habit of it. Plus, realizing that you didn't like that you did it just means that you are aware of it and it's something that will be less likely to happen again.
 
Thanks, Sam and RP. I think I was just hard on myself for the amount of non-meal junk I had. Pie with Thanksgiving dinner: yay. A dozen cookies because grandma made them: questionable. I am over it. :)

Maybe I'll have to pick up a can or two of that chili. I surely want to make some from scratch as well.

Thanks for your support. :)
 
Tonight after work -- which left me tired and annoyed as I did not even touch the three projects I had hoped to complete -- I really did not want to go to the gym. It took me a while to convince myself to go... and I spent 90 minutes there. Weights for 30 minutes and 60 on the treadmill. Wow!

Tomorrow I have to work some after-hours, but I hope to have some evening to myself to go again. I hope to hit it a couple more times this week.

--Jason
 
Bah. Tonight I really wanted to go to the gym for a 30-45 minute workout after I worked some. There was a build to upgrade our systems and I had to test it a bit to make sure it would work in the morning. The last agents got off the system at 7:00PM. I was hoping we could start the build at 7:15PM and I could leave for the gym at 8:15PM. I just finished testing and sending the email updates at 9:15PM. I suppose a couple shots of gin and an elliptical machine really do not mix. Tomorrow and Friday I'll hit it. I have to make my goals for the competition in the other part of the forum.

Today was a busy, but good day at work. Tomorrow will be better.

I hope everyone is well. :)

--Jason
 
That sucks you couldn't make it to the gym like you had hoped. It's okay, you'll be able to go tomorrow. Enjoy your gin shots :)

Have a good nite,

-Sam
 
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