JadeLynn's Weight Loss Diary

I've taken my Myers Briggs - I don't recall the results, but I remember thinking "yeah, that's about right." In addition to being introverted, I'm pretty introspective, too.

Last night it was 34 and windy AND it was raining heavily. Makes for a very long walk through the parking lot!
 
OK, took it - here's everything you need to know about me:

ISTJ

Introvert(67%) Sensing(38%) Thinking(25%) Judging(33%)
•You have distinct preference of Introversion over Extraversion (67%)
•You have moderate preference of Sensing over Intuition (38%)
•You have moderate preference of Thinking over Feeling (25%)
•You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (33%)
 
So I have to be honest. I have not had a very good weekend food wise. I have worked out, even did some extra toning.

There is something that I cannot quite understand. I felt very fat this weekend. I was more acutely aware of how much bigger I am now than I was a couple of years ago and that feeling upset me quite a bit. And it seemed to inspire me to eat a bunch of crap…I mean seriously WTF? This is not too far gone that I cannot get a handle on it…but I have a great fear that it will get that far and so I put my hand on my stomach think...what in the hell happened to me and then I eat a cookie?

That is illogical! It is insane. You’d think I’d go…"Oh my God, my stomach is sticking out and if feels like a bowl of jelly. I want to feel my hipbones and concave stomach again…pronto! I will never eat the vile things that have made me look this way."

I’m so frustrated with myself. I mean really…if someone wants to be thin, sets a goal to be the weight that they were happy with and really really wants that, why would that person (me) sabotage themselves? Can anyone relate to this?

Hope you guys had a better weekend than I did!

Sweet dreams everyone.
 
Must be a bad weekend for the ISTJ club! I overdid it way too much, and was too bloody lazy. That's what the new day is for - reset. One or two bad days aren't going to do you in, so not much point in beating yourself up.
 
Well I was bad for a few more days and then I got really sick of the way that I felt. My skin started looking bad, I felt tired and sluggish, so I was really good for 4 days. The yesterday a big platter of cookies was left on my desk at work, sigh...the platter did me in a bit. But I did not eat all of them and I was really good again today.

Hello...My name is Jade Lynn and I am a cookie addict. I cannot have cookies. One cookie always leads to 10 cookies for me. And guess what..I came home and my neighbor gave me a really huge platter of cookies. I never ever ask for these things, people don't see me eating them and think...hey she likes those! Because I rarely have them around me. And I don't mean to sound ungrateful...but why do people just assume that it is a good thing to give one person a platter of cookies the size of huge trashcan lid? I mean in some ways isn't that a bit rude? Maybe the person does not want all of those cookies, fudge, cake, candy etc...I feel badly throwing the stuff out, but I just cannot have it near me. And when I try to kind of embarrassingly say..."I'm trying to watch what I eat." No one cares, they just shrug it off.

Well that stupid platter downstairs is not going to win. Those 4 days of eating healthy really made me feel better and then yesterday I had to do an hour on my treadmill as my punishment.

Good luck out there fellow dieters...it is so tough this time of year :patriot:
 
Good morning and Merry Christmas Everyone! Well I hope your is merry, I actually dislike Christmas very much. It is expense, exhausting...I actually get time off of work and spend it doing things that are taxing and then my Mother made a Christmas Eve meal with nothing but junk and or things I don't eat. Now I realize I could bring something I made myself, but then she actually would be offended.

She made ham, I don't eat ham, I don't like pork at all. Then there was a macaroni made with cream, butter and several cheeses. A carrot dish doused in butter and sugar and corn bread that she put butter and honey on. Potato chips and dip were the appetizer. Tons and tons of cookies for dessert. I really thought she'd at least make a salad or I really would have brought one. I brought cookies (as asked) was proud I didn't even eat one. I did eat a little of the macaroni, a little of the corn bread and carrots and some potato chips. There literally was nothing else to choose from.

Most of my life my parents have either made fun of the way that I eat and how skinny I used to be or when I put on some weight there were some comments about that too.

And now I have to go back today. At least there will be a salad served with dinner.

I do not understand why people try to sabotage those who are trying to lose weight. The "It's just one day" really turns in to several days or any time I eat with them. If I don't want to eat with them that is a problem too (for them.)

I think my dysfunction with food started in my childhood. I see that now as an adult and also that they do not want to help me learn healthier behaviors and that they don't want to do that themselves.

Then I thought I'd have a break this weekend, I'm going back to work on Monday even though I have tons of vacation time I will lose, but everyone else wanted time off and I felt someone should be there (I know my fault for being an idiot) thought I'd have this weekend to chill out found out the unexpected company will be arriving. Grrrrrrrrrr!

When Jacob gets here, we are going to spend his first Christmas in the United States in some remote cabin in the woods, one that will let me bring my dogs. I'm going to cheer myself up by beginning to look for one immediately. :D

I did go for a long run yesterday morning and then took my dog for about a 2 mile walk. I will either run or if it is still raining do a DVD.

I love Christmas lights, Christmas trees and other decorations. I can even tolerate Christmas music pretty well. But the shopping, wrapping presents and apparently ALL of the junk food people either give me or serve me and get offended if I don't want to eat it...well that just pisses me off!

Seriously hope others are having a better time of it:santa:
 
I'm with you on the holidays being a chore. You feel like Scrooge for ever verbalizing it, but you can't help but wonder if there isn't a better way to do the whole celebration thing than gluttony and bank account draining. All I really want to do is spend time with my family and loved ones; I don't understand why I also have to be fat, drunk and broke at the end of it. :D

Happy new year!
 
I think my dysfunction with food started in my childhood.
Click to expand...

I think that's a lot of us, Jade - I know mine was a restrictive diet for 10 years, without any knowledge of when I was done being hungry ("Finish what's on your plate!!!"), followed by the rest of it being left alone a lot of the time with plenty of microwaveable frozen snacks to eat, but nothing to actually do (I lived in a very remote spot with no friends within walking/biking distance, and when you're 14, you can only walk in the woods so many times).

I asked for nothing this year for Xmas, except for sneakers, cordless drill set, and time (both alone and with my wife). I got a lot of crap that I need to find a home for now. First world problems, I know.
 
Hello Everyone,

I think that I do not know how to use this site for support because writing about my screw ups or how sad, mad, frustrated etc they make me, feels a bit like I'm being a whiner.

I really don't believe that people just eat food because they like food. Well I mean eat to the point of physically feeling ill. I have noticed that many of us here have some depressive times, lonely times and stressful times. Developing coping mechanisms to deal with these things is not the easiest thing to do.

As an introvert I get very overwhelmed when I have days of constant useless meetings. Most meetings are useless and the information could be put in an email. My boss loves meetings. She loves as she calls it "engaging with people." She also ends up working late, missing time with her husband and daughter and then lamenting about it and how overwhelmed she is. But she still wants these meetings. I have to get out of these things..it is killing me. I have a new co-worker. She is so odd. She is really brusque and rude, but also extremely boastful. She told me the other day that her husband knew he had a "thoroughbred" WTF? She kept going on and on about how self sufficient she is at work and I so wanted to say 'Then why don't you get out of my office?"

I do not have good enough interpersonal skills to explain in any kind of nice way that I am getting very bored, stressed, angry, frustrated and confused about why we waste so much time, get behind and then end up staying late to do the work. I do leave close to on time, I have dogs to let out, but I usually log in to my laptop to work.

And so what do I do to cope with this? I eat. And I eat worse when my schedule is thrown totally off.

I have got to find a way to get away from these two and just do my work. Even my office neighbor, who is very nice, I'm afraid to say "hi" to because then she will chat away for 15 minutes or so and by then my lunch break is almost over and it has not even started.

I don't like to be rude. I can be very curt/cold/blunt but it takes a lot to get me to that point.

So....wonderful people of this forum. Do any of you have advice for me, because sitting in a meeting where my boss and this new person are fighting for attention and talking over each other is driving me nuts!
 
Tough one for me to help with. Never really did the office environment thing on a regular basis. Every Summer I travel out of town and spend an entire week, all day, in nothing but "meetings" (probably the best way to describe it without going into detail). It almost certainly is the most calories I consume any week of the year as the food keeps coming in and the meeting room is stocked with stuff.

How to get meetings more productive when you're not in charge? Tough one for me, I don't know.
 
For coworkers in you r office, I'd say be polite and direct. That is the best advice I can offer. If you are sincere in your politeness and not unreasonable in your request then if they are offended it isn't your fault. Even if they get offended it will still likely bring the desired results. Meetings are designed to wreck shit in my opinion. I try to never complain about the lack of communication at my work as I assume it will result in meetings. "Productive meeting" is an oxymoron in my experience. It's a rare jewel to have an efficient and useful one and it is almost always a direct result of the person in charge of the meeting demanding it.

Talk to the coworkers to take charge of what you can. As a fellow introvert I know that seems daunting, but just think that it will result in less interaction from that point forward. I've said something along the lines of "I enjoy talking with you, but I am really busy lately. Please don't take it personally, but I am stretched thin and need to focus." This was someone that I enjoyed talking to and I still do, but he asks if I'm busy and actually listens to the answer so long as I am direct. "Can we talk later. I have to get this done." works if you don't enjoy talking to them. :)
 
I usually prefer to keep to myself at work, too, Jade. How flexible are your hours - I wonder if you can come in early and set up camp, complete with headphones or earbuds? That way you can get chugging on what you want to without too much interaction, and the headphones act as a "stay away" sign.

It also might benefit you to sit down with your manager and tell her how you need some more time to get your things done and that the surplus of meetings interferes with that. Maybe start responding to those who call the meetings and asking what the agenda is and finding out if you really need to be there? I do that a lot and they appreciate my interest in their affairs, as well as saving them money (I'm what's known as direct-charge, so my time is charged to a given project, regardless of how much value I add).
 
Thank you for the advice LJ. I actually have shifted my hours slightly this week and it has helped. I enter the building on my cell phone talking to Jacob every morning and then usually close my door. Sometimes I feel badly, but usually that is a better coping mechanism than a pop tart :)

I'd love to be a direct charge employee...but I think the lazy folks that I work with would still call me. Today was the first day in a bit that I got pulled upon...useless 3 hour 'chat' with my stressed out colleague who if she'd work more than she talks would be so much more productive. Cannot let that get out of hand!!

So I have been at this for a bit and lost no weight. I'm happy that I have not gained any...but still this was not the ultimate goal. It is not exercise or lack there of , I workout every day. I've been mixing it up too...running, weights, yoga, pilates, super long walks with ankle weights. It is food, specifically junk food stress comfort. I think that having my fiance be so far away most of the time does not help. Too much time on the computer chatting and not enough doing other things like going for walks and bike rides together. Bored and lonely feeling sorry for myself eating too I guess.

So how come knowing what I need to do does not translate in to doing it...I thought the other day "I'd do anything to lose 15 pounds." then I immediately thought.."No you will not do anything you dummy, because if that was true you would have done it!" It seems so stupid to long for something that really should be so easy, that would make me happy...yet not do it. For a logical woman, I am exhibiting very illogical behavior. :toetap05:
 
That's because you are confusing simple with easy. Losing weight is simple, but it isn't easy. I've heard the adage that "You can't outrun a bad diet" and it's true. I've run every day and managed to gain 3 pounds in a week. Make a plan for small manageable changes in the right direction and before long you will be gaining momentum and losing pounds. I'm talking to both of us. The problem with logical people is that we can create rationalizations that sound really convincing. Hang in there!
 
Don't give up! Maybe swap out some of your worst snack food for better ones like veggie chips? I also found that cutting out sugar was super helpful!!!
 
You are so right Quercus, you cannot outrun a bad diet. I'd say I run on average 30 miles a week, thankfully my shoulder has healed enough to allow me to do my pretty tough ab workout daily and then weight work 3 times a week. I am seriously sweaty most days and workout every day...I shudder to think what I would be like if that was not the case!

A girl I work with broke her foot and all I could think was..if that was me, I'd have to have my jaw wired shut!

Thank you taboo, I'm going to try not to quit. If I could cut out sugar then I do think that would be super helpful I JadeLynn am a sugar addict!

Although I mentioned that my shoulder is better; I was walking my 2 dogs, one is about 60 pounds and quite skittish, and she got scared and sort of jerked my arm in a weird way. I have been in pain most of the day.

Ate okay, I was given some chocolate. I should probably throw that out!

Wishing everyone a Happy Valentine's Day! Hope cupid was good to you!
 
30 miles a week is awesome! Running every day and I can't get near that. I need to keep the miles modest until the weight is down more I think. I think I'm doing 10-15 mile weeks at the moment.

I hope the shoulder didn't get setback too bad by the dog.

I say work it into the calories and enjoy the chocolate.
 
10-15 miles a week is not too shabby Q, especially since you just started on a regular routine!

Thanks guys for the well wishes with my shoulder, it is still a little sore...but I am on the mend!

Up until today I had done a pretty good job limiting the junk, I was given some cookies today and I did eat them. Why do people constantly give me junk food? I never bake or buy the stuff myself! Back on track tomorrow!
 
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