It's time to kick some A$$!!

HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!! I"VE FALLEN OFFFFF!!!!!

I am blaming my new job!!! That is it. It all started on wednesday and it just hasnt stopped. I eat well all day and then something takes over me and I turn into a wild savage beast at night picking at this and that and next thing you know I'm GONNA BE 200 POUNDS!!!!! GOD DAMMIT!!!

This week coming is my redemption week. Oh and by the way I do NOT plan on ever leaving this site. This site will hold me accountable and even when I do eat bad this site always reminds me that I should be eating good. So regardless of feeling shameful for falling off I am gonna write all about it. I wont write my eats but todays binge went something like one spring roll then another then 2 perogies then 2 chicken strips then an angus burger. And now a beer. Oh anddd I came home today and there is chinese food in the god damn microwave. I did not eat it but I sure as hell want to! Ughhhhh.

ANYWAYS so as I said this week is my redemption week. And I will tell you why. I only work once during the week.... so only one day will I not be able to exercise. All other days will be good exercise and therefore good eats. I plan on sleeping at like 8 every night waking up at 6 and getting a run in. I'm gonna shower and be out the door by 7:30 to be at work for just before nine. I will stay at work till 5:30 or 6 and I will be having dinner at around 7:30 just in time for bed I guess....

So the good eats start again tomorrow. I really want to see 165.X by saturday.... thats probably gonna be a solid loss of 3 or 4 lbs this week. If I can do that I will not be soo upset about my fuck up. I need to lose the 10 this month. I need to make my goal! And I need to follow my promise to stay out of the 170's forever!!!!!

thats it thats allll. I'm gonna finish this beer and go to bed I got lots of shit to do tomorrow. Night alll!
 
Well I seem to have taken on the I'll eat well tomorrow just one last day of bad eats kinda thinking. Today I am going out for breakfast with my father..... once I eat bad in a day its hard for me to get back on track and do well for the rest of the day..... im already thinking of what naughty things to have for lunch/dinner.... sigh.

I am really thinking that I can get up early and run on the mill tomorrow. If I dont do it tomorrow then I'm gonna eat like shit. I gotta get back into my groove. Fortunately I have only been off the wagon for less than a week. I hope I wont have gained EVERYTHING back. I can maybe even get to 167.9 by the end of this week and that would be fucking AWESOME! I would be sooooo happy. I think I am gonna aim for that. TOMORRRRRRRRROW!!!!

I saw my doctor before I went to Cuba regarding my weight and how disgusted I am with it. She referred me to a dietician who gave me a fair amount of useful information that works quite well. But she also told me about a drug (ahhhh a pilllll) that can deter me from eating fats. If I eat to much fat the drug reacts to it and I get very nauseaus. I didn't really ever want to go that distance but I am starting to want to try it. I'm interested to see what I could be capable of if I had the never ending fear in my head that if I had those chicken wings I would be violently ill. Unfortunately I just started a new job so I need to wait to see my doctor. In the mean time though I am gonna try again..... starting tomorrow
 
Don't get discouraged! You've caught yourself planning bad things now, so you've got plenty of time to switch that thinking and envision something both delicious AND healthy for dinner! Do you ever write down what you eat beforehand? If not, I'd give that a shot.... type up your planned naughty treats here as soon as you get back from breakfast, and see if it still sounds appealing once you're looking at it all at once. But if you end up eating everything you planned, then brush yourself off, forget about it, and plan for a better day tomorrow.

I go to the gym first thing in the morning for my runs during the week, and I find that a) it's much easier because there's no time to talk yourself out of it, although sometimes I have to put my alarm clock literally in another room :blush5: and b) it definitely makes the rest of the day so much better! You feel accomplished before even showering for the day and you make better choices later on.

And I want to second SlytherinQueen's suggestion of having a goal in mind of impressing the boyfriend in November! I wouldn't advocate losing weight to impress a new guy, but if you've already got him, there's no harm in using him as motivation to better yourself!
 
Thanks for the comment Laura F. I used to log onto fit day andn post all my eats there. That was when I would count calories. I don't think that writing my bad eats down before hand would help. It would probably just make me drool even more lollll. But thanks for the suggestion. I appreciate all suggestions. But you are right. I have been planning my bad eats. You know I do that allllll the time. I ALWAYS plan my eats. ESPECIALLY my bad ones. I just can't stop thinking about what I want more and I think of everything and pick something well in advance. I have a severe addiction to food and that's why I'm as big as I am. It's unfortunate really. I wish there was an easy solution.... ugh.
 
Alright sooooo heres the update. Yesterday I got a RUDE fuckin awakening when I went shopping for work clothes. I went to winners and just grabbed a bunch of shit. I grabbed a bunch of 8's in pants and one 10 just in case cause I don't know what my pant size is. It's been a while since I've shopped for myself. So I tried buch of the clothes on and it was just horrible. I wanted to cry. You know how now a lot of shirts come with a belt at the high waist? welll that mother fucking belt is in the worst place ever. It makes me look 6 months preggo. Seriously!!! ALSO... I tried on the 8's and they didnt even do up by a long shot so I tried on the 10s thinking I was for sure a 10.......but to my horror the fucking button would not even touch the hole. I was mortified. I didn;t even grab the 12's I just left I was sooo pissed off.
Later I met up with my mom at Walmart cause I NEEEEDED to but clothes for work. So I grabbed all the 12's is a bunch of really nice work pants. and tried them all on. They were all too snug and really uncomfortable. I grabbed the 14's but they were too baggy and still quite snugg in the stomach. So in the end I bought 2 pairs of STRETCH WAIST dress pants, 3 shirts and a sweater. Oh and a pair of boots. Soooo basically I am officially a fat ass. Butt I have good news....

I woke up at 5:45 this morning and RAN ON THE TREADMILL!!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I only ran 1.5 miles (just over 16 minutes) but hey its a start for the morning right?! I am sooo stoked. I ate fairly well all day as welllll. I did not have time to make breakfast or lunch though today so I had to improvise.

Breakfast: whole wheat bagel with herb and garlic CC
Lunch: Subway ham salad
Dinner: chicken parm with maybe 2/3 of rice?


I almost gave into bad eats but then I walked the dogs and counted the servings of carbs I had today and decided that I had reached my limit and I shouldnt eat anything else today.

Anyways I just took a sleeping pill. I take them when I want to just fall right to sleep. I always toss and turn for an hour before falling asleep but I want to get to bed early so I can get up and run. So I'm just gonna catch some tv and call it a night. Have a good night all!!
 
Way to go adeon!! Sounds like you thoroughly enjoyed the running! Good for you! Keep it up...admire u for waking up so early to do the workout (I always go in the afternoon)!! =p
 
adeon said:
I woke up at 5:45 this morning and RAN ON THE TREADMILL!!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I only ran 1.5 miles (just over 16 minutes) but hey its a start for the morning right?! I am sooo stoked. I ate fairly well all day as welllll.
Click to expand...

No need to say that you *only* ran 1.5 miles! That's awesome, great job! You should be totally proud of yourself. Sounds like a good day for you!
 
Heya adeon sorry I haven't popped in sounds like you've been on a rollercoaster ride you poor thing! While I was away I stuffed my face full of bad things and am facing the consequences: now that I'm home its like these cravings wont go away I will just stand in the kitchen debating for several minutes if I can find a good enough excuse to eat that naughty thing. However we shouldn't get down about it! I would like to share an idea i'm going to try: I am going to buy lots of cereal and healthy peanuts. I figure the only step to getting over my cravings and needs to stuff my face is to at the very least grab handfuls of food that dont pack a lot of crap. I'll have my naughty list that I will make a note of the crap I eat in a month (just the bad stuff) and do the maths at the end more for interest. Hope your foot is fit and congrats on the running and weight loss its really good that you are fighting this battle! p.s. in my LDR we didn't see each other for 6months and we talked on skype (free) everyday. Distance really was the last of our issues so I have faith in yours :)
 
I AM BACK ON TRACK OFFICIALLY!! WOOHOOOO!

Today was the THIRD day in a row that I woke up at 5:30 and jumped on the treadmill. I am back to doing 20 minute runs at 5.6 but I want to start adding some more time. I have been at 20 for a while now.

Eats are slowly but surely getting back to the way they should be. Monday was pretty good. I wanted to eat bad by dinner time but I juust tried really hard not to. YESTERDAY was Wild Wing Tuesday and your damn right I had WINGS. They were sooo delishous I could never give them up ever. I also had 2 tall cans of beer and pad thai yesterday. I did not eat the whole container of pad thai but I am not worried about it (THANK GOD). I ate well again today. I did have some left over pad thai. OH the pad thai was veggie I usually get chicken but I wanted to lower the cals a bit. So I ate half of it and threw the rest in the compost so ""I didnt overeat it. I am currently having a beer.....blah. Oh well all day was good.

Breakfast: my eggs on bread and a peach
Lunch: Tuna sandwich
Snack: Banana
Dinner: Pork chop with pad thai (2/3 cup???) and mixed veg (broccoli mushroom and onion)
and my beer.

I have switched from coffee to unsweatened tea in the mornings (not sure if I mentioned that already) because I want to cut the sugar out thus craving less carbs? And the tiny faults I am not too concerned about. As long as i've got my exercise down I should still lose weight every week.


Work is going well so far. I have been starting to prepare quotes for clients. I want to start doing some real work soon so I can be busy all day and the time will go by quick!! Tomorrow I work at swiss chalet... I don;t know if I will be able to workout in the morning. I will probably take tomorrow off.

So I talked to my boyfriend the other day and he was questioning or relationship because we live so far and he said he can't get used to me not being with him. So I did the unthinkable.. I gave him a 3-4 year future plan (provided we stay together that long). I am going to save for 3 or 4 years for a house (well actually 2 cause I have other bills I need to pay off). And once I have money to buy a house, I am hoping the process to get him to Canada will be complete and he can move here and we can make some money and built an equity. He told me before that he does not want to come to Canada so I was concerned for his response BUT to my surprise he actually thought it was a decent idea. He said he trusts me and he wants to try it. So I am sooo happy. I mean I know its far down the road but it will give me motivation to pay off my bills and start saving faster for a house! woohoooo.!!!

Alright gotta go watching the hockey game! I am going to weigh in tomorrow but I wont post it on here cause I KNOW it's gonna be higher and I just dont want to put my ticker up lolllll.
 
Plans to buy a house? Wow! It's great adeon, I'm really happy for you!

Well done on throwing half of the pad thai away, it's never safe to have things you crave in the house. And well done on the small changes as well, it's the small things that can make a difference.

Sending a huge hug your way!

Laele
 
Hola!

Hey Adeon! Sounds like you're doing great! Congrats! And glad to see things are working out with the bf! ;) Hope things will work out!
 
I'm so proud of you!! Look at you, getting up at :gasp: 5:30 AM and running on the treadmill! I am so glad you're back on track. Sounds like things are going great for you. I made a plan with my husband back when we were dating. We've been dating since high school and we kind of planned out when we would get married and buy a house, etc. You don't always follow the plan to a tee, but I know it made me feel better about everything. And it's cool to look back and see how far we've come. It always helps to have goals for saving money too. It's so hard to save, at least for me. Sorry about the shopping experience. I remember as I was gaining weight how depressing it was to go shopping. But before you know it you will drop the sizes! Wishing you continued success! :)
 
jesuse christ i fucked up. I forgot to copy my note. Now I'm pissed. It was long I am not repeating it. Only the notable things.

Had swiss chalet last night with my mom and siser (sister isnt mad at me anymore) Only gave into a bit of a cheese loaf. Had a quarter dark with greek salad and multigrain roll. Regretted the multigrain roll but oh well. Was able to watch my mom and sister eat fries and poutine and ribs and not be bothered with any of it.

Broke the 20 minute mark on the mill. Ran at 5.7 for 22 minutes. burned 250 cals. Makes me happy cause I'm getting into some higher calorie deficits which I need to lose weight.

went on the scale yesterday was 169.8. NOT 70's! yaaaa!! Dont like to weight myself at this time of the day cause I like to have a good shit before I weight and at this time of day the shit aint moving from my bowels (I had to put it like this otherwise I'd be embarassed by it) I am always like a pound higher if I weigh and havent pooped.


Wont post my eats cause I'm not sure what they will be yet.

TGIF!!:seeya::coolgleamA::smash::driving::sifone::ack2::iagree::reddevil:
 
166.6!!!!!!! WOOOHOOOOOO!!! Now I am OFFFFFICIALLLY back on track. yeaaaaaaaaa:hurray:

Not going to type too much cause my cousin is hanging out with me. yesterdays eats were good.

Breakfast: Fiber one w/ one hb egg and soy milk
Lunch: Salmon sandwich (500 mg in HALF a CAN of salmon eeeeeekk)
Snack: Banana (between bfast and lunch)
Dinner: Swiss chalet (1/4 drk with salad... no roll cause it was 10 at night)

eats for today:

Breakfast: western sandwich (egg bacon onion)
Lunch: Salad from somewhere...
Dinner: swisss chalet (1/4 drk w/ veg and roll?)
Maybe a beer...


sooo I have something exciting to say. I was supposed to run a 1/2 marathon this sunday. BUT I am definitrly not trained enough to run it. BUTTT I can change it to a 5k! SO I am going to run a 5k tomorrow!! I ran on the treadmill today for 27 minutes at 5.7. It worked out to 2.6K. I'm only .5 K short. I think I can do it! Anywyas thats all for now! Everyone have an EXCELLENT DAY!!
 
Good luck with the 5k! I'm nowhere near running one of those. Walking maybe, but running... no,no.

Congrats on the big drop, keep up the good work!

Hugs

Laele
 
Aww, I want a finisher's medal! That's nice they do that. All I get is my bib. And that doesn't even say what race it is, I have to write that down myself, haha.
 
Well today is the day and I've decided that I'm just gonna give er for 30 minutes and see what happpens. I mean I'm not gonna sprint or anything but I'm gonna try and get a reall good pace going from the start! So 5K HERE I COME!!!!

Had a real bad night last night food wise. My mom came home with leftover pizza and I just went crazy. I want to hold myself completely accountable for my actions so I will write everything down I had:

Along with my normal eats I had

3 slices of pizza
2 pieces of meatloaf
2 pints of beer

I also worked out my TOTAL calories consumed for yesterday: approx 2700

Now heres where I try to mathematically tell myself its OK:

I calculated my BMR: 1580
Burned 350 calories running on the mill yesterday
Burned approx 300 walking around in the mall (yes I calculated EVERYTHING)
Burned approx 620 serving at work

Total calories expended: 2850

cals consumed minus cals expended = 2700-2850 = -150 cal deficit


So I came out with a 150 calorie deficit yesterday. Meaning it shouldnt really work for me or against me. It just kinda evens out.

I just hope the pizza I ate doesn't work against me in the race today!

Thats all for now I'll be back later today with some times! Gotta get ready! take care!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top