It's all about me

1416

In the category of "life is so unfair"....my primary work-out partner is starting to look absolutely amazingly hot..fitness mag hot, cheesy calendar hot...men getting whiplash hot.:eek: :eek: :eek: ....because she spent roughly six months eating at what would have been surplus level had she not been working out...heavy weights 3xweek, no cardio at all. Six weeks ago finally got her into adding just enough cardio to create a deficit, she dropped a couple pounds and (knock wood) we recently figured out a painless way to get a slightly higher deficit with food that doesn't throw her into full-blown binge mode. And, as the tiny bit (she was never actually fat to start with) of extra padding melts away, she is just looking - well amazing. And I'm looking at her this morning thinking that I'm just a teeny, tiny bit jealous. I'm pissed that I let myself get so darn big in the first place that it will take me another six months or longer to accomplish what she's going to (aesthetics wise) in the next six weeks....maybe it's more in the category of "jeeze, if I had only truly realized how long and hard it would be do truly undo what I was doing 'back in the day'"

So, cals a bit low at 1461 - cause I didn't get my final meal... Sat fat on target at 19g, fiber and protein slightly on low end but decent at 26g and 90g. Could have boosted cals, fiber, poly fat & protein by adding a little buckwheat, soy beans and sesame seed oil to tuna salad.

liquids:
coffee, 8 oz
water, 80 oz

fruits:
blueberries, 1/4 cup
grapes, 1 cup
apple, 1 large

veggies:
cabbage 2 cups cooked
spinach, 1 cup cooked
tomato, 1 whole, small
carrots, 1/2 cup shredded
recaito, 1 tablespoon
avocado, black, 1/4 fruit
beets, picked, 2 thick slices

dairy:
cottage cheese, 4%, 1/4 cup
cheddar, shredded, 1/4 cup

meat:
bacon, 4 thin strips
eggs, 4 whites
tuna, 3 oz

grains/nuts/seeds/legumes
oats, rolled, 1/4 cup

other
olive oil, 2 tablespoons
balsamic vinegar. 1 table spoon

Total: 1461
Fat: 66 597 42%
Sat: 19 170 12%
Poly: 7 67 5%
Mono: 35 312 22%
Carbs: 140 456 32%
Fiber: 26 0 0%
Protein: 90 361 26%
Alcohol: 0 0 0%
 
Big HA to the "already hot" but thanks anyway. All I can say is lucky for her she's my best friend...cause I make out her routines...I suspect I could say something like "you really need the fat in fried chicken...and by the way this whole weights thing is making you bulky...let's hold off for a while"...just to give me a little time to catch up to her:cool: ...aww no...but it's a fun thought
 
In the category of "life is so unfair"....my primary work-out partner is starting to look absolutely amazingly hot..fitness mag hot, cheesy calendar hot...men getting whiplash hot.:eek: :eek: :eek: ....because she spent roughly six months eating at what would have been surplus level had she not been working out...heavy weights 3xweek, no cardio at all. Six weeks ago finally got her into adding just enough cardio to create a deficit, she dropped a couple pounds and (knock wood) we recently figured out a painless way to get a slightly higher deficit with food that doesn't throw her into full-blown binge mode. And, as the tiny bit (she was never actually fat to start with) of extra padding melts away, she is just looking - well amazing. And I'm looking at her this morning thinking that I'm just a teeny, tiny bit jealous. I'm pissed that I let myself get so darn big in the first place that it will take me another six months or longer to accomplish what she's going to (aesthetics wise) in the next six weeks....maybe it's more in the category of "jeeze, if I had only truly realized how long and hard it would be do truly undo what I was doing 'back in the day'"

Hiya Cym. :)

I know you know this. You are a smart cookie and don't need me telling you how to think.

BUT.

Don't get stuck comparing yourself to others. It leads you down a path of frustration. That is all that comes of it. We are so unique and respond so differently to training and diet that the only thing, the best thing you can do is compare you NOW to you THEN.

I used to workout with this guy, Phil. He was ridiculously ripped. I kept constant track of my calories. I had to eat SSSOOOOO much in order to grow muscle. And that growth was so so slow. Phil never tracked his food intake. He barely ate come to think of it. Yet, he grew like a freaking weed. And he never accumulated fat.

It was very difficult for me not to get frustrated. Even with all I know about physiology, I still second guessed myself. Was I working hard enough? Is it possible the Phil worked that much harder than me? Is all this calorie counting pointless, I mean look at Phil?

Finally I got control of my mind, but I know how hard it can be. If she is making noticeable changes already, she is genetically predisposed to looking lean. You are not.

Neither am I. But I know one thing. I look a hell of a lot better than I did 2 years ago. And that is plenty to keep me satisfied and motivated! :D

Oh yea, and you ARE hot! Mind & body!
 
Steve has a good point, but I suspect you are really happy with yourself and are just venting--who can help but be a little jealous from time to time? I'm jealous that you have your workout buddy. 95% of me working out since I started, regularly (when I was 18) has been by my lonesome :( But that's ok--I'm still doin my thang, trying to get to my goal. Argh! Anyway, you're so diligent and meticulous I am very impressed and inspired! Have a great day!
 
Hi Cym, I really liked your post in my diary. I am feeling much better about things now. I am lucky to have a friend like him, even though he is 85. We share a special bond. What do you think about that?
 
2140

Steve: wow, I totally needed to hear that...I've got a bad habit of sometimes comparing myself to others and then second guessing myself. And you're right about the "genetically predispossed" thing...heck, I've seen (more than once) this chick sit down and eat an entire chicken and CurvyGirl actually you're right too, because most days I wake up and think "damn, my life is friggin golden" and I love the meticulous comment so much that I will no longer refer to myself as "anal" - I'm just meticulous - love it!:D

Calories at 2140 - either a "whoops" day or perfectly on target. I'm not sure right now exactly what my maint. range is...just that it's somewhere between 1800-2100. Sat fat definitely exceeded by 5 grams, stuck to non-fat dairy but couldn't resist the 2 chicken wings which put it over the limit.

I found a neat little calculator on the AHA site that says for my height/weight/lifestyle my calories should be 2170 with 17g saturated fat and no more than 2 grams transfat....since I eat 0 transfat, for the moment I'm comfortable continuing to aim for 20g day ceiling of sat fat...not that I won't work on getting it down to 17g in the future, but that's for "then", I'm having a hard enough time wrestling with the "now".

Liquids:
coffee, 16 oz
ballerina tea, 8 oz
water, 80 oz

fruit:

blueberries, 1/2 cup
apple, 1 medium
grapes, purple, 1/2 cup
raisins, .75 oz

veggies:
pumpkin, puree, 1/2 cup
cranberries, raw, whole 1/2 cup
recaito, 2 tablespoons
carrots, 1/4 cup shredded

dairy:
ff cream cheese, 1 oz
ff cottage cheese, 1 cup

meat:
beef, 10 oz
chicken, 2 small wings
eggs, 2 whites

nuts/grains/seeds/legumes
walnuts, 1 oz
oats, rolled 1/2 cup
bulgar crackers, 3 servings

other
ff/sf pudding
honey, 1 tablespoon

Total: 2140
Fat: 81 729 35%
Sat: 25 227 11%
Poly: 19 173 8%
Mono: 26 233 11%
Carbs: 224 816 39%
Fiber: 20 0 0%
Protein: 135 539 26%
Alcohol: 0 0 0%
 
kelly

I am lucky to have a friend like him, even though he is 85. We share a special bond. What do you think about that?

Kelly, I honestly don't know what I think. On the one hand you've made this wonderful connection with a man who treats you well and makes you feel special and treasured and brings great happiness to your life. So, of course I'm thinking "Hell yes girl, go for it! Life is short and obstacles can be worked through"

But, I have a deep practical side which is saying that sometimes we all have to look beyond what feels good in the here and now and evaluate situations based on the long-term potential. And while I know that tomorrow is not promised to any of us, one of the things we build committed relationships on is the "potential" that this is someone we can our lives with and eventually grow old beside.

Realistically, that's just not going to happen given the significant age difference here. And I also can't help but think you are in the prime of your life right now and there's a good chance, if you stay emotionally open to it, you will meet and connect with someone who has the same qualities as this man - but with a more likely positive outcome.

I don't think that's quite what you wanted to hear, but ......
 
1981

It's Friday! Yey! Today last day before exercise break so I gave it a little extra. I won't get measurements, bodyfat% or do strength & speed assessment until Monday but I'm happy with the results of the last 8 weeks. The scale is parked on the same number, of course, because I wasn't looking to drop weight this go round. But, I know I'm a little stronger, especially upper body, I don't think I've made much improvement in my running speed, but I wasn't focused on that and I suspect my endurance is improved....I think I'm just genetically programmed for distance rather than speed anyway. That faint little center-line running down my belly two months ago is nice and pronounced and the obliques are kicking...I suspect that my aesthetic ideal is somewhat different than many women my age...but, hey, it's my body and my ideal.

So, seven days in front of me to stay up a little later cause I'll have the luxury of sleeping late, eat a "normal" breakfast instead of pre and post work-out "feedings" and figure out the direction I want my next routine to go. I feel more relaxed and centered already.

Cals on target at slightly over 1900, sat fat fine at 19g and 9%, poly & mono fats excellent, fiber lower than I'd like at only 22g and protein right on target for cals at 112g, The corn was a bad, bad choice. I stopped choosing corn as a veggie source over a year ago, last night I couldn't remember why....until I put my foods into fitday. That little 1/4 cup serving was a whopping 150 calories with nothing to justify such a calorie dense choice. Could have had twice as much as almost any other veggie or opted for a grain for the same calories and boosted fiber.

liquids:
coffee, 16 oz
lemon juice, 1 oz
water, 80 oz

fruit

tangerine, 1 small
apple, 1 small
grapes, 3/4 cup
blueberries, 1/4 cup
raisins

veggies
turnip greens, 1/3 cup
candied yam, 1/4 small yam
corn, yellow, 1/4 cup
cranberries, 1/4 cup whole berries
pickled beets, 2 slices

dairy
ff cottage cheese 1/2 cup
yogurt, plain, whole, 1/2 cup
cheddar, 1/4 cup shredded

meat
crab salad, 1/3 cup
chicken breast, 1 cup diced

grains/nuts/seeds/legumes
whole wheat egg roll wrappers, 3
saltines, 5
buckwheat, 1/4 cup
walnuts, 1 oz
corn muffin, 1/4 muffin
northern beans, 1/4 cup

other
olive oil, 1 tablespoon
ff/sf pudding, 1 serving


Total: 1981
Fat: 71 641 33%
Sat: 19 172 9%
Poly: 23 203 11%
Mono: 24 220 11%
Carbs: 232 839 44%
Fiber: 22 0 0%
Protein: 112 448 23%
Alcohol: 0 0 0%
 
oh damn, sometimes I eat a whole can of corn for lunch :( Well I'm sure not going back to Spaghetti-O's I'll tell ya that much !! :p

Seriously, this is why I snoop in here, you do seem to be a source of good food knowledge - Thanks !!
 
1927

Randy: all I can say is "grab your spoon and chomp away" cause I must have been seriously stuck on stupid when I entered my foods yesterday. I went back and looked and I input the serving for popcorn kernels, not regular corn:eek:

This is random and has no overall importance in my life...but it's on my mind. Last night I made the mistake of wearing a pair of slacks that were about 1/2 too big at the waistband but I didn't realize it until it was too late cause I haven't worn them in months. So, we're looking all over the place for a safety pin (less embarrassing than the "slippage" cause they're lowriders).

A woman (I'll call her "Annie") who is not a friend but an aquaintance I spend a lot of time with because we have mutual friends, used the occassion to comment for the billionth time on my weight/eating/exercise habits. I'm busy ignoring her (as usual) when she actually says "are you sure you're not one of those anorexic people...I mean do you go to the bathroom and throw up after you eat?" I just said something like "don't be stupid" and continued pretending she didn't exist on my planet.

But it truly pissed me off. I was telling someone about it today, ranting a bit a guess:eek: along the lines of "I work too damn hard to have her say something like that"...and the person I was ranting to confided that she has recently accidently come across "Annie" upchucking in the bathroom following a huge restaurant meal:eek: So now I don't know what to think because I'm still pissed she said it, but feeling somewhat compassionate as well - and the two emotions don't mix well.

Cals on target at 1927, sat fat in line at 20g and poly & mono fats look good. Fiber lower than I'd like at 25g but protein good at 135g. I'm noticing a pattern here: when carbs at right around 200g, fiber is perfect irregardless of fat/protein. I guess I could have boosted fiber without going over calories by substituting a tangerine for the sugar-free cookie....but sometimes a girl just wants a cookie.:)

Liquids:
coffee, 20 oz
lemon juice, 1 oz
water, 80 oz

fruit:
apple, 1 medium
grapes, 1 cup
raisins, .05 oz

veggies:
spinach, 1/4 cup
turnip greens, 1 cup
corn, 1/4 cup
sweet potato, 1/4 small potato
beet, 2 slices

dairy:
cheddar, shredded, 1/4 cup

meat:
talapia, 3 oz
shrimp, 10 medium prawns
chicken, 1 cup breast, diced
1 leg quarter, skinless

nuts/seeds/legumes/grains
northern beans, 1/4 cup
walnuts, 1 oz
almonds, 1/2 oz
cornbread muffin, 1/4 muffin
ww egg roll wrappers, 3 wrappers
saltines, 5 crackers

other
olive oil, 1 tablespoon
sf cookie, 1

Total: 1927
Fat: 82 734 39%
Sat: 20 178 10%
Poly: 23 208 11%
Mono: 31 280 15%
Carbs: 174 597 32%
Fiber: 25 0 0%
Protein: 135 541 29%
Alcohol: 0 0 0%
 
I notice that people with serious internal weaknesses seem to project those weaknesses onto other people. Maybe they're secretly hoping for "company" in their struggle -- I don't know.

Talapia's a great fish, isn't it?
 
A woman (I'll call her "Annie") who is not a friend but an aquaintance I spend a lot of time with because we have mutual friends, used the occassion to comment for the billionth time on my weight/eating/exercise habits. I'm busy ignoring her (as usual) when she actually says "are you sure you're not one of those anorexic people...I mean do you go to the bathroom and throw up after you eat?" I just said something like "don't be stupid" and continued pretending she didn't exist on my planet.

But it truly pissed me off. I was telling someone about it today, ranting a bit a guess:eek: along the lines of "I work too damn hard to have her say something like that"...and the person I was ranting to confided that she has recently accidently come across "Annie" upchucking in the bathroom following a huge restaurant meal:eek: So now I don't know what to think because I'm still pissed she said it, but feeling somewhat compassionate as well - and the two emotions don't mix well.

WOW. For one thing, you could tell "Annie" that you really don't feel comfortable about her talking about your body like that and it needs to stop. Secondly, Tom's right--she must have issues that she's projecting onto you and that is sad. She probably needs support and such, like on this forum maybe. Poor thing. But I don't blame you for being upset--no healthy person wants to be called anorexic. At work, a co-worker of mine keeps commenting on all the weight I've lost and sid, "Now don't go anorexic on us!" and I just took it really lightly because I was eating at the time ;) But if she wasn't such a nice lady I'd probably tell her not to talk about it anymore. And she will probably stop soon, anyway.
 
2258

CurvyGirl: About your co-worker's comments on your weight changes...I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for them to stop:) It's been about five months, more or less, since I lost the great majority of my weight and I don't think I've had a single day since then when someone at work doesn't continue to comment on it - usually favorably....at first it was great and flattering, then it quickly became old and irritating, and now I usually don't even pay attention... I mostly figure it's better to have them saying "Gosh, I can't believe how much weight you've lost" to my face than whispering "Gosh, I can't believe how much weight she's gaining" behind my back.:)

So my food for yesterday was kind of..well, horrific:) ...I decided yesterday morning to give myself a weekend break from counting and target setting (but not recording...I will record my food intake whenever humanly possible) to go along with my week off from structured exercise. It was "loverly". No surprises that calories exceeded maint. by about 250 and saturated fat at a whopping 30g.:eek: It could have been sooo much worse - at least poly & mono fats are good! Fiber and protein actually on target at 32g and 132g.

Funny enough, even though today was included in my "eat whatever the heck you want to as long as you record it" week-end plan....what I've mostly felt like eating has been stuff like mangos and kiwi fruit and raw baby spinach leaves.

Liquids:
coffee, 16 oz
lemon juice 1 oz
water, 80 oz

fruit:
apple, 1 medium
grapes, 1 cup
raisins, .05 oz
apple sauce, 1/3 cup

veggies:
beets, 2 slices
pumpkin, puree, 1/2 cup
carrots, shredded, 1/2 cup
sweetpotato, 1 medium

dairy:
1 oz ff cream cheese

meat:
beef, 10 oz
chicken wingettes, 6 pieces - in sauce
chicken breast, 1/2 cup diced
egg white, 1
bacon, 4 thin strips

nuts/grains/seeds/legumes
almonds & walnuts, 1.5 oz combined
flax meal, oat bran, buckwheat, slightly under 1/2 cup combined
saltines, 5 crackers

other:
ff/sf pudding, 2 servings
poppyseed dipping sauce, 2 tablespoons
honey, 1 tablespoon

Total: 2258
Fat: 105 946 43%
Sat: 30 270 12%
Poly: 29 257 12%
Mono: 37 335 15%
Carbs: 209 707 32%
Fiber: 32 0 0%
Protein: 132 530 24%
Alcohol: 0 0 0%
 
2100

Good grief...I don't know what surprises me the most - the sheer amount of food I ate or the fact that it all totaled up to only 2100 calories! So, it was my last "free for all" day and the damages were minimal, sat fat over by only 2 grams, fiber under by about 4 grams, protein right on mark for calories.

So, the result of my "big week-end food blow-out" is so friggin tame it's almost funny: combining the two days I exceeded maint. cals by about 300, sat fat limits by 12 grams, the 2 day average of fiber is right on the mark and protein was fine both days. It's not that I wanted to be "bad"...it's just that I gave myself total unrestrained leeway for the first time in a year and a half to just eat and record but not restrict - and I find it ironic that "best" I could come up with was eating bacon and sugar free cookies two days in a row.:rolleyes:


Liquids:
coffee, 16 oz
green tea, 20 oz
lemon juice, 1 oz
water, 80 oz

fruits:
blueberries, 1/2 cup
mango, 1 medium fruit
kiwi, 1/2 fruit
grapes, 1 cup
raisins, .05 oz
apple, 1 medium

veggies:
beets, 2 slices
spinach, 1 cup cooked
olives, 5 large diced
green/red peppers; purple onion, 1/4 cup combined
tomato, 1 whole fruit

dairy:
yogurt, plain, 1/2 cup
4-cheese mix, 1/4 cup
ff cream cheese

meat:
chicken breast, 1/2 cup
bacon, 5 thin strips

seeds/nuts/grains/legumes

walnuts, 1/2 oz
almonds, 1 oz
ww egg roll wrappers, 4 wraps
saltines, 4 crackers

other:
sesame seed butter, 1/2 tablespoon
olive oil, 1.5 tablespoon
diabetic cookies, 4
sf/ff pudding, 1 serving

Total: 2099
Fat: 96 866 42%
Sat: 22 196 10%
Poly: 25 227 11%
Mono: 41 367 18%
Carbs: 230 813 40%
Fiber: 26 0 0%
Protein: 95 379 18%
Alcohol: 0 0 0%
 
CurvyGirl: About your co-worker's comments on your weight changes...I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for them to stop:) It's been about five months, more or less, since I lost the great majority of my weight and I don't think I've had a single day since then when someone at work doesn't continue to comment on it - usually favorably....at first it was great and flattering, then it quickly became old and irritating, and now I usually don't even pay attention... I mostly figure it's better to have them saying "Gosh, I can't believe how much weight you've lost" to my face than whispering "Gosh, I can't believe how much weight she's gaining" behind my back.:)

You're right, but I only have 4 co-workers! LOL! So it should stop soon....unless I make it to my goal....which I have been getting the feeling that it may be too low for my lean mass....so I dunno....

Anyway, those cheat days seem like a breeze because you still eat under maintenance, don't you? Like, aren't your requirements at least 2000? :confused:
 
Anyway, those cheat days seem like a breeze because you still eat under maintenance, don't you? Like, aren't your requirements at least 2000? :confused:

Yea, I guess it does look confusing. I take my maint. cals based on my weight (126lbs) x 15 toss on an extra 100 cals and don't otherwise factor in exercise at all because
1) I'm too lazy to sit down every single day and try to come up with a half-way accurate # of cals burned (including the afterburn) based on what exercise I did that day.
2) I purposely made a huge mental seperation between food and exercise cause I know myself too well didn't want to fall into the trap of thinking "I'll overeat by x amount and burn it off running later"
3) along the same lines of knowing my faults pretty well, I will always eat up the limit plus a tiny bit over of my target cals...it's like having a hundred bucks in my wallet and going shopping...I'll find some stupid thing to spend that last 5 bucks on:) . So I just go with the low end of the range...which is probably about 1900-2100.

About your goal weight...I'm always surprised when people think "if I lose x amount of pounds I'll look just like I want"...when there is no way of knowing where those pounds are gonna come from...you'll know when you've reached your goal weight when you can stand pure baby butt naked in the mirror, view yourself from all angles and think "Yep, that's gonna do it":)
 
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