Imaninjadangit's Weight loss Spectacular!

Don't be so hard on yourself. I know it's easier said than done, but from an outside, neutral perspective, you're doing really well. You have a lot to deal with and you're doing exquisitely well fighting against the odds.

And you're not disgusting. Yes, you have weight to lose- but that doesn't make you disgusting. The first word that came to my head when I saw your before pictures was "pretty". You have a really lovely face- like a classical painting. And no, I'm not just saying that. And that's even if all that matters was physical appearance, which of course isn't the case.
 
The first word that came to my head when I saw your before pictures was "pretty". You have a really lovely face- like a classical painting. And no, I'm not just saying that. And that's even if all that matters was physical appearance, which of course isn't the case.

This is one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. Thank you. :blush5:
 
Bleh. I've been pretty down the last few days. My weight wasn't budging. I've been 270.6 for a week. :toetap05: I can't exercise for a bit, because my knee has been killing me. It makes me pretty sad. I'll just have to adjust my diet.

I've been eating the 90 calorie packs of chocolate covered rice cakes. I think I'm going to cut those out. When I lost 10 lbs, I wasn't eating anything like that. Lots of carrots and celery, turkey sandwiches on whole wheat, and oatmeal. I was eating a decent dinner...but no sweets. I think that's the trick for me.

Today, I was 270 even. That means I lost .6. It may not be a big loss, but it's a loss. I am still feeling slightly discouraged, but the small drop made me feel a little better.

SO...I go on. :banghead:
 
Good job on losing 0.6. That's so greattt.
And it may not sound a lot but the scales are going the right way.
 
Yeah, any loss is a good loss. And you're perservering despite a plateau, which is hard for a lot of people to do. Well done :)
 
Thank you. :)

I have mixed feelings about it. I'm happy that there's a loss, but frustrated it's not bigger. I think I may have dropped my calories down too fast. I'm at 1500. Thinking I should stagger them between 1500 and 1800. We shall see!

"Plaudite, amici, comedia finita est."
 
I know. Any loss is good, so I'm happy for that. I just want to be sure that I'm doing things right. We'll see when I weigh in tonight.

I had a really trying morning at work. I know these kids have issues, and I know they will say anything to get a reaction, but it still hurts. This kid was punching me, and screaming at me, so I had to put him in a hold. While in the hold, he kept calling me "fat bitch" over and over. I've heard him call other staff names, but he only puts the word fat in there with me. Another staff came to take over the hold, so they could seclude him. I went to go fill out the report, and I was trying to hold back tears the whole time. The main insult my dad threw at me while growing up was "fat bitch." I hate that term. They could call me anything else...cow, heifer, anything...I wouldn't care so much. That one just stings.

I know someone hateful will always be out there. I still want to get to a point that if someone calls me fat, I can think to myself, "No, I'm not," and move on. It will take a long time after I lose the weight to not cringe at insults like that, but at least I know that it's just an insult. Right now, if someone says it, it's like they're throwing my failure in my face. Again, I know this is just a kid who has been through a lot, and it's not personal, but it still hurts. :cry:
 
Sorry babe :( I know how that goes. Some of my kids use that insult when they get mad at me. Usually I just laugh it off and tell them that at least I don't have a silly face and try and make them laugh and stuff but sometimes it feels very personal and hate-filled. I want to get to that point as well, where someone will try and use that insult again and I'll just be like...errrr normal BMI right here, motherfuckerrrr!

Feel better, beautiful. The happy moments at work usually out-weigh the shitty ones in our line of work, just be proud of yourself for remaining calm <3
 
Hi Ninja - I've just read your entire diary from start to finish and I have to say I'm inspired! You are fighting against all odds to lose your weight and you've lost 10lb! That's amazing! You keep up the fantastic work!!!! :hurray:

I'm sorry to hear about the kid at work - I understand. My dad threw a lot of hurtful comments my way as a kid and it stings to hear them as an adult. Just remember that the kid is troubled and may one day apologise for what he's said to you. *hugs*
 
Hey girl,

I know EXACTLY what you are feeling, I was there just a few days ago, I got frustrated, decided to make changes, but didn't follow the plan for the past three days!!! I'm ready to get back on though, tomorrow morning! My body is rested and my refrigerator is stocked full of vegetables!!

Girl, don't give up, I'm waiting for you to get a WHOOSH in weight! I hope you drop a few pounds!!!
 
I ate Chinese yesterday, which was sooooo....tasty. I went to bed a few hours later, and slept for about 6 hours. When I got up, I ate some bran cereal, then went to work. I ate an apple, Progresso soup, a whole wheat roll, oatmeal, and two cups of coffee while I was at work. When I got off work, I stopped at Walmart, where they had a Subway. I ended up getting a flatbread breakfast sandwich...which was soooooo tasty. I came home, cleaned the apartment a little, then went to bed around 1 in the afternoon. I drank a ton of water yesterday, too.
When I woke up tonight, I weighed myself. I weigh 269 even! :hurray::hurray:

I think what has been happening is I cut my calories down too far, too fast. I wasn't going below 1200, but I was way below what I had been eating for a while. My body was screaming at me. What I think I'm going to do now, is eat 1500 4 days of the week, and 1800 the other 3. I'll vary that a little, but that's the general idea.

I am very happy about this! :willy_nilly:

I also bought a water purifier for my kitchen faucet this morning. I'm happy that I don't have to buy bottled water as much now.

Off to get ready for work!
 
Congrats on losing another lb! That is just awesome! I think it's a good idea to vary your calories a bit, otherwise your body gets into a routine, and so do you which can get a little boring as well! Great idea on the water purifier! We have one and it just a fantastic resource. You can also get water bottles that have a water purifier in them, they're pretty cheap too! I paid $12 for mine (in Australia), and the filters are $7 each. I'm sure they're cheaper in the US though!
 
Plateaus are almost worse than gaining...mentally, that is. With gaining, you usually KNOW what you're doing wrong. With plateaus, it's so hard to figure out what tiny little thing needs to change.

I think one of my other problems is the workout I chose. The 30 Day Shred is a combo of cardio and strength exercises. I put on some muscle on my stomach, and lost some fat here and there. I think, for now, I'm going to do just cardio. When I get around the 200lbs range, I'll do the 30 Day Shred again. I honestly don't need muscle right now. My calves are solid muscle, my thighs are hugely muscular, and I have good sized biceps. My boyfriend always jokes and says that I scare him. lol I just need to trim the fat, so to speak.

I bought a jug yesterday, that holds 74.4oz of liquid, along with my faucet purifier. I filled the jug and took it to work. I managed to drink the whole thing in 8 hours. According to everything I've read, that's half of what I should be drinking in a day. No way. Nu uh. :argue: Not gonna happen! lol I think 74oz of water a day is plenty. I peed SO much last night. I've read that if your urine is pretty clear, you're getting enough water. My urine looked non-existent. lolol I plan on filling that jug up every day, and drinking just that. It kept me pretty full, which is nice. However, I am at the point where I think about junk food a lot. I didn't miss it for the first few weeks. Now, I'm craving salty fries and burgers with a ton of mayo. It's not a horrible craving. Just a nagging one. I have burgers in my freezer, and regular fries. I think I may bake them both today for lunch, and eat the burger on a slice of wheat bread. I could put a small layer of mayo on it, but I'm not going to tempt fate. lol
I passed chips in the store yesterday and almost bought them. Not for me, but for my boyfriend and my daughter. I knew, though, that I would be way too tempted. Right now is the time in other attempts that I have sat with a whole bag of regular Ruffles and chowed my way down until I was almost sick. That is NOT going to happen this time. I am finally on a good track, and I'm not going to falter. Sad as it is, this is the longest time I've stuck to a good diet. I've never watched calories before. When I was trying to eat healthy, if I slipped, I would just give up. I was also in terrible relationships and worried about money all of the time. I'm in a great place emotionally...as great as a bipolar-bear can be, haha!...so, I need to take advantage of it and get in a great place physically!

This is one of my long days. I won't go to bed until 6pm, so I have to be careful. I still have 600 or so calories to use, so it shouldn't be too bad. I have salad in the fridge, as well as some other low calorie stuff.

Well...the rest of that 74 oz is hitting me. Gotta pee! :leaving:
 
In Australia the recommendation is 2L, which is a little over 70oz (a little more for exercise if needed, and a little more if the liquid you're drinking is caffeinated), so it sounds to me like you're on track to me.

Have you seen the roast potatoes I make? They hit my chip cravings. Take 200g potato (about 7oz), chop it up into bits (depending on the size of the potato, half or quarter it), and toss with oil (I use olive oil- as little as possible, I try to aim for 6g or 0.2oz), a little salt (under a gram), and spices (I use rosemary and thyme, about a teaspoon of each), the stick on foil in oven on 250C (~482F) or maximum for 15-25 minutes depending on the size of the potato you've got. It's about 200 calories that way.

I'm sure there are low cal burger recipes out there somewhere. Let me see... Does this link work? []=3087&tag[]=11&type=i&sort=rating&order=desc (it's a search for low kilojoule burgers- none of them are beef though)
 
I love olive oil. I have extra virgin olive oil, and regular. I only use vegetable oil for baking and deep frying...which, I don't do, now. lol

I may actually save my burger for my day off. I have only grilled outside once this year, which is a shame. I have chicken breasts that need to be cooked, too. If I do grill, I'm going to buy some ground turkey and make turkey burgers. Maybe. I've been very good about buying the leanest ground beef I can get.

I've seen that site on your blog before. I have been so tempted to look at it, but I know I'll make myself hungry. I love, love, LOVE cooking. I was actually very close to going to school for it. I have a knack for making awesome cheesecakes. I won my boyfriend over with a sweet potato cheesecake. omg...it's good. ANYWAY, if I start browsing cooking sites, I'll find too many recipes I want to try. In 40 pounds, that won't be a bad thing. I'm really fragile right now, so I want to be good. lol That doesn't mean I won't stop and drool at your recipes from time to time!
 
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