Originally Posted by
imaninjadangit
Greg - I think I have tried that brand of yogurt. While it is a little tart, it's still good. I've found that giving up most sugary foods has changed my palate. I don't really enjoy sweet things as much, and love savory dishes that much more. It's really enjoyable to eat healthy now.
I work in a treatment facility for abused and neglected kids. 4 nights a week, I work with the same person. He trained me a year ago, and then we were placed in the same building in September. We've become really good friends over this time period. He was there when I began my weight loss journey, and has supported me throughout. We were talking about it earlier tonight, and talking about my current weight. When I said that I was 205, he exclaimed, "205?! No way! You're knocking on the door to the 100's!" I was telling him that it is really hard for me to see myself as a smaller person. I have been huge for so long, that I can't wrap my mind around being this size. It's kind of the opposite that some feel. Some very large people think that they are way smaller than they are, and then wear clothes that they shouldn't. I feel like I'm way bigger, and keep wearing baggy clothes. It freaks me out that I am wearing a medium hoodie right now. Medium. I'm in large shirts and size 18 in pants. It's still so strange to me. My coworker went on to say that very few people can do what I have done. Most people who are very large or very thin, stay that way. He said that it must feel the same way as changing class. If you've been poor all of your life, it would take time to adjust to having money all of the sudden. I'm not thin, yet, but I am thinner. I am so happy to be smaller. I can't imagine going back. Ever. I love going into a store, and not being sad because their pants don't go up to 26. Or being sad when a 3X shirt is tight. I don't have knee pain anymore. I can go on long walks with my daughter and not be exhausted half way through. I can swing on a swingset....comfortably. I have room in the bathtub. I like my reflection, now. I just can't see how eating large quantities of food can compare to all of that.
I have adopted some new habits that seem to be working.
1. I am preparing my meals ahead of time. No scrambling to for food, and then settling on a fast, but terrible option.
2. Water - drinking more of it, yes....but, I'm also controlling when I drink it. I drink a bunch about 20 minutes before I eat. During meals, I only take small sips when I need to. I've been doing a lot of reading on water consumption lately. If you drink a ton of any liquid when you eat, it hinders the digestive process. That, in turn, hinders your body's ability to pull the nutrients from the food. I wait about 30 minutes after I eat to start drinking water again. I started this a few days ago, and I feel great!
3. I've increased my calories. Eating 1500-1800 calories 5 days a week, and then 1200 the other two is so much easier than eating 1200 all of the time. I'm not stressing about over eating now. It's fabulous!
4. I'm enjoying my food. I set my fork or spoon down after every bite. Sometimes, I do other things between bites, like paperwork or bed checks. By the time I'm done, most of the food has hit my belly, and I'm full.
5. I walk everywhere. I park very far away from the door, no matter what the weather is like. I will park at a store, then walk everywhere else I need to go in town. I've found that I really love walking wherever I need to go. I just really enjoy being healthy.
My life outside of weight loss isn't terrible. My boyfriend is still 250 miles away. I only get to see him once a month.
It's amazing when he's here. He's so kind and loving. He's very calm, which is the complete opposite of me. We have lots of interests that we safe, but our personalities are on different ends of the spectrum. We complement each other perfectly. He is very supportive of my weight loss. He tells me all of the time how proud he is of me. We've known each other for 20 years, so he's seen me thin and thick. I was 265 when we started dating, so I know he accepts me for who I am. I will say, though...certain..activities....are MUCH more enjoyable while being thinner.
Yeah...it's been a month. /sigh. He is coming down Friday, though! He has an interview down here this weekend, so hopefully, we won't have to go much longer like this. It breaks my heart every time He drives away. He told me last time that it's getting harder and harder to leave me. It just makes me sad that we could have had the last 11 years together, had I not been oblivious. Apparently, he has loved me the whole time we've known each other. He told me that he flirted with me back in 99, but I didn't realize it. I never thought someone like him could ever like someone like me. He is so kind and incredibly handsome. Omigosh... so handsome. He makes me weak in the knees.
I have always had a major crush on him. Blah! Had I known! We are together now, which is amazing....but....He had cancer a few years ago. Because of the treatment, his ability to produce children has been hindered. It's not impossible for him, but extremely unlikely. I want at least one more child, and he wants one of his own. He was national tested a few weeks ago. It was so heartbreaking to hear the news.
He thought I would leave him when I found out. Silly man. I told him that I do want another child, but I want it with him. If he can't have children, then neither can I. I have two wonderful children of my own, whom he adores. When they are out of high school, he and I can just be a couple. I am heartbroken, though, that I might never be pregnant again...or hold my own baby again...or go through all of the firsts. I won't tell him, that, though. He is so worried about my feelings...it would crush him. So, I will find the good things in life, and be amazingly happy that I have the perfect partner for the rest of my life.
Well...it's that time of the morning to start waking the teens at work. I hope everyone has a beautiful day!
<3
