I'm back! (for good this time)

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WeightLossChick

New member
Wow, if there was to be an award for who has made the most diary entries, I'd most likely take the prize! In the past I've always made diaries and when I went off the bandwagon with my eating, I would abandon my diary altogether because I didn't want to be held accountable for my actions. Not this time though!! This time I plan to keep up with my diary everyday (write down what I had for food, my exercise, and my feelings about anything whats going on in my life. Last November I reached my lowest weight ever (119 pounds) but for some odd reason, I thought I could go back to my bad habits, eating whatever I wanted, not exercising as much as I should have been) and now I am back up to 159 pounds :( Once again, that goes to show that you simply cannot go back to your bad habits after you loose all the weight, it'll just come back to bite you in the butt. My goal is to get down to 139 pounds when school starts, hopefully I can even loose more than that. This is my senior year in high school and I just want to go back feeling alot more confident in myself than what I am feeling right now. For exercise, I plan on going to Bally Total Fitness with my dad (he's also trying to loose weight and get into shape) and I plan on doing the elliptical machine for 35 minutes at the program "Random" and level 8. Then I plan on doing doing upper body strength training (working the shoulders today, did back on Monday) and then I'm going to the swimming pool where I plan to swim for at least 20 minutes. I love those little spedo boards where you can put your arms on them and just kick your legs. As for food so far, for breakfast I have had a Nature Valley Oats N'Honey bar (180 cals) and a cup of coffee with splenda (0 cals) Not sure about lunch and dinner yet but I will report back. As for some good news going on in my life, I am going to see my favorite singer Josh Groban in concert at Key Arena on August 18th!!! Really exited about that, it's my first time seeing him live. And on September 10th I'm going to see Chris Daughtry at a fair. He's become one of my favorite rock stars. Anyways, sorry for such a long jounral entry, hope ya'll like to read!! Have a wonderful day everyone!
By the way, my name is Michelle, I'm 5'2 and am 17 years old
 
Hi there Michelle,

welcome back! I pretty much started here at the forum a couple weeks ago and so far, everyone's been amazing with giving advice, challenging/ supporting one another. As for the vicious cycle of gaining weight back... yup.. been there, done that. However, I'm wishing you the best on your journey to reaching your goal weight. :)

Oh and I just have to comment on your breakfast choice... isn't that a bit too low to start your day off? I swear.. I'd be starving after an hour or so if I only ate a Nature Valley granola bar. hahaaaa! (Oh.. and becareful... those granola bars are high in sugar: 11g.) Reason I know, I used to eat Valley Nature Trail Mix Fruit N Nut Bars back when. hahaa (13 g of sugar in one freakin' bar. Yikes!)

-Sheryl
 
Wow!

Thank you Sheryl and eeeee for replying so quickly! I know what you mean Sheryl, those granola bars are high in sugar but I'm somewhat addicted to them (hahaha) so it's really hard to stop eating them on a regular basis. I know the cals are to low but I usually have a bowl of regular oatmeal with 12 chopped almonds and blueberries, or I have a bowl of a whole grain cereal like cheerios, Kashi, banana nut crunch (but that cereal is high in sugar to lol) Total, etc. Sometimes I also have an egg on toast with some sort of fruit, so it's not like I eat a 180 cal breakfast everyday. I was just feelin kinda sad this morning because this morning was when I weighed myself and found I was back up to 159 pounds, so when I found that out my mind said to grab the lowest cal breakfast as possible because seeing that weight made me loose my appetite....Thats what my mind always does, when I gain alot of weight my mind tells me to eat the lowest cal diet as possible to loose weight, and I know thats what I need to stop doing if I ever want to reach a healthy weight and be healthy the rest of my life. I really really hope that I can stick with this lifestyle change this time and not gain so much weight back, for that is extremely bad for your system and not to mention bad for your emotional health as well :)
 
Hi Michelle,

Welcome Back. At first I though that I had to eat as few calories as possible to lose weight. Being here has helped me realized that its actually the complete opposite. Building a new lifestyle is very difficult. I've been a yo you dieter for an extremely long time. This time with the forum its for real. I havn't even felt like giving up yet.

I wish you tons of luck on your journey this time. I hope to see you around for a long while:)

~Jenna
 
Thanks Jenna! I know what you mean about being a yo yo dieter and all...I've been a yo yo dieter for the past 3 years now and I am really tired of it. This time I am not going to let myself go the way I have and I am going to keep up this healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life. If I don't then my life is just going to be nothing but complete misery.
 
Ughhhh okay so we won't be going to the gym today...My parents and I are busy getting ready to go on vacation on Monday to Ocean Shores, we'll be gone for 9 days. Today were going to be busy packing and preparing so theres no time for the gym today. Dang I wish I could take a walk or a run around my neighborhood or something like I use to do, but unfortunitly the neighborhood I live in is really unsafe, filled with drug dealers. bumbs, criminals, etc. It's definitly not worth risking my life over going for a run :( But were going to go for an early morning workout at the gym and then on Monday we leave for our vacation. Luckily theres a cardio room and a swimming pool at the hotel were staying at, so I'm still going to be keeping up with my cardio workouts, I'll just have a week off from strangth training (aside from pushups and sit ups,theres no machines are drumbbells) I plan on doing ALOT of swimming because I love to swim, it's one of my favorite exercises. Well thats it for now, I plan on reporting on my food pretty soon.
 
Ok so lunch was a chicken Lean Cuisine Oven Brick Pizza (340 cals) and a little bowl of bing cherries (25 cals?) So that puts me at about 545 cals so far, which gives me plenty of calories left for a snack later if I want it and for dindin. Will report on those things later :)
 
So dinner will be Short rib stir fry fajitas (my dad and I made stir fry the other night with carrots, celery, brussel sprouts, onions, peppers, short ribs, etc, it was SO GOOD!) And tonight were going to make fajitas out of them. Luckily the kind of tortillas I plan to use are so low in cals that I can afford to have two fajitas if I want, I get the low carb, low fat whole wheat tortillas that only have 80 cals in one tortilla and a whopping 14 grams of fiber! So thats only 160 cals for both the tortillas, which is equalivent to 1 tortilla. Were also going to make fat free mexican refried beans with our fajitas, which is also really low in cals (100 cals for 1/4 cup) so I estimate dinner to be about 450 to 500 cals....I'm terrible at calculating calories with homeade foods so I just try my best to eat in moderation to keep the cals down. Wow, I just realized that I would have only consumed about 990 cals for the day, gotta be careful about that, I don't want my body to go into starvation mode due to little cals. I've been feeling really down today....I still can't believe that I've gained all this stupid weight!! 159 pounds is wayyy to much on a 5'2 frame like mine, so I really don't look so great right now. The worst part is I still had quite a bit of fat around my middle and my lower body when I was all the way down to 119 pounds....so I guess my long term goal needs to be about 110 to 115 pounds...I'll see if I want to go lower when I get there...But right now I just want to focus on getting my health and my body back under control and stop giving into the strong impulses to gorge myself on unhealthy food. I just want my body back! :(
 
990 calories is low. Over the next few days you'll be able to find a good balance for yourself. For me its been determination and moderation. At first I thought it was all about limiting my calories... but its about moderation.

The impulses are the worst... Hopfully with the support of the board you'll be able to get through them.
 
Yep the impulses are what scares me the most....I don't have any impulses at all right now and havn't for the last couple of weeks....but once I get that impulse to gorge myself on what I shouldn't (sweets are my absolute weakness) it just doesn't seem to go away until I finally just give in and I don't want that anymore for myself. I want to be able to control my eating and live a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life, but thats never going to happen if I keep giving in to that awful devil inside my head telling me to chow down on the sweets (the angel's saying, NO DON'T DO IT! THINK OF YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR WEIGHT! But the devil's saying (Ahh who cares about a stupid number on a scale, eat what you want! It's a free country) :mad: I really hope this forum can whoop me into shape, but I think it most likely will because you people rock!! Ya'll are so supportive and nice and I want to thank ya'll for that :) Well I just finished dinner, I had my 2 fajitas and my little bowl of fat free refried beans, it was all very delicious!! However, my stomach didn't really feel like it needed that second fajita, it was just my own mind wanting it..(something to work on). But on the plus side I was still way below my caloric intake for the day and if I didn't have that second fajita it would have been even lower...and I got 28 grams of fiber just out of those 2 tortillas! Is there such a thing as to much fiber?? Lol!
 
Ok I just started off my day with a much better breakfast than yesterday, i packet of regular instant quaker oatmeal, some vanilla soymilk added in there, blueberries, 12 chopped almonds, splenda, and one cup of coffee with splenda. Dad and I are leaving for the gym in 45 minutes, where I plan to go on the elliptical machine for 35 on the program "Random" at level 8. Then I might brisk walk on the treadmill for about 20 minutes, depending on how much time I have left. Then I'm doing upper and lower body strength training since I didn't get to the gym yesterday, I'm working out my chest and shoulders, then my legs. Then after that, I'm going to go swimming for about 20 minutes, maybe more, again depending on the time. I'll report how I did and what I've eaten later. Hope everyone has a wonderuful day!
 
Ok so I just got back from the gym...I did 35 minutes on the elliptical at the program "Random" at level 8, then I went swimming for abut 40 minutes. I didn't do any weight training today because I really wanted to swim instrad, so at least I had a really good cardio workout. On Monday were going on vacation for 9 days so my strength training will be limited, but I do plan on doing alot of cardio (swimming, walking/running on the beach, cardio room, etc) and I do plan on eating well even though I'll be on vacation. Lunch will be the rest of the short rib stir fry, it's a fairly small bowl, and two smallwatermelon slices. I'll estimate that to be between 350-400 cals.
 
OH MY GOD I am so ANGRY and HURT right now!!!!! Ok so I was sitting down to eat lunch on the couch and my mom was sitting next to me asleep. As I was eating, she woke up, and just attacked me for no flippin reason!! She's like, "why are you eating"? And I responded to her "Because it's lunch time, and I couldn't help but putting a "duh" at the end of my sentence. And then she's like "You and your dad go to workout then you just destroy the workout right when you get home"!! And I'm like "Mom how am I destroying my workout by eating LUNCH"?? And she's like "Well can't that also be your dinner and have some fruit later on instead of another dinner"? And at that point I got really really ticked off so I just said "Mother your so stupid, just go back to sleep! You are such a stupid human being" and then she's like "Well I'm not the one thats gained the pounds!". And then I flipped her off because I was just so hurt and angry and then I left the room to eat my lunch in peace. I just don't understand what she wants me to do!! I mean my gosh I actually think she thinks I need to starve myself in order to loose weight!! And I would actually rather do that than to listen to her stupid mouth!!!! She says stuff about my weight all the time now that I've gained weight and I hate it!!!! And I really feel like I hate her right now!!!! Someone please give me advice on how to deal with this!!!!! I would really appreciate it!!
 
I'm very very sorry you had to go through that with your mother. Mother's can be very difficult to deal with especially when their ignorant about a specific thing... they can be very wrong and very hurtful:mad:

I have dealt with my difficult mother my whole life... and still do. I am only starting to have a real relationship with her 4 years after i moved outta the house. The way I used to deal with difficult things with her was to do one of two things once things had calmed down:

1- the first was to try and sit down and explain myself to her. My plan of action or my point of view on a specific topic and most importantly my feelings. This didn't always go smoothy many times we ended up fighting...but other times we came to a consensus or agreed to disagree.

2- My second plan of action was to write her a letter. Laying out how she made me feel, my point of view, my plan.

I know these things are easier said than done. I've done it many times. Hopfully this helps you in some way. Feel free to pm me if you need to talk or have any questions.

~Jenna
 
Thanks so much for the advice Jenna! Yeah my mother is extremely ignorant when it comes to nutrition, she's as skinny as a rail and barely eats anything at all because she's been really sick for the past 5 years (sick with multiple things, she has alot of health problems) so I guess she thinks I need to eat like her in order to loose weight....and my gosh I am on the brink of doing that because her words hurt me so much, I'm tempted to starve myself and go semi-anorexic to teach her how much her words hurt me and maybe she would grow concerned and shut her mouth once and for all, but on the other hand, I don't want to do that because then that would mean that she got the best of me...I'm so confused...But on a much weaker note, once of my mom's friends came over to visit her from a different state and we were talking about how she had a hamburger and a uhhh...... Blizzard from Dairy Queen last night for dinner, and I had mentioned to her that I had never had a Blizzard before in my life and that they looked good......so that shocked her big time because she loves the Blizzards, so she insisted on taking me to Dairy Queen to get me a Blizzard..and I went with her because I really wanted to try one.....I got the Tropical Blizzard...OMGSH it was SOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!!! It had pecans, banana's, and coconut in it, and plus the soft vanilla ice cream, it was to die for!!!! I wanted to get a small one but my mom's friend insisted that I get a medium because she said "for you first Blizzard you can't get a small" LOL, so I got a medium one but I only ate half of it, so it was like getting a small one. I'm so scared to know what the calorie content of that was, but I am gonna look it up because I would rather know than not know....I just hope it wasn't to high....now I am definitly going to have a light dinner because of that sinful treat....hehe. This is actually a really good thing for me because in the past if I were to have something like this, I would have thought "Ok so I already screwed up might as well go for the whole enchalada! Literally! But I have absolutly no desire to do that this time, I'm just going to brush myself off from slightly "falling off the wagon" and just get back on as soon as possible. I'll report on dinner when it happens hehe, I hope ya'll like to read!
 
Oh oh I can find the nutrition facts for all of the Blizzards except for the Tropical! But judging from the other Blizzards's calorie content it cannot be good, is there anyway someone could find the nurrition facts for the Tropical Blizzards? Thanks!
 
If you were to starve yourself the person you would be harming the most would be yourself. You could/would do irrepable damage to your body.

Don't let one treat derail you from a lifestyle change. Nor let your mother's hurtful words. You are doing somethign that is very good for you and when your mother starts to see changes maybe she'll come around. I searched a bunch of places and I can't find the specific nutritional content for the tropical blizzard. It seems they only offer the nutritional info for the most popular ones or something.

I hope the rest of your evening is good
~Jenna
 
Thanks alot again Jenna, I really appreciate your advice. After thinking about it I realize your right, I honestly do not want to starve myself because I know that that's just as bad for you as overeating (maybe even more) and I personally love food way to much to ever give it up. Thanks for trying to look up the nutritional info for me about that Blizzard. I deciced to not let that treat bother me so much (and boy was it a TREAT!!) For anyone who likes banana's, pecan's, and coconut and wanting a splurge treat, this is the thing to get!!
 
Oh by the way I've patched thing up with my mum, I told her how much her words about my weight hurt me and that I want her to stop doing that. She told me she honestly doesn't realize she's hurting me and is very sorry and promises to be alot more careful of that :) Making up sure does feel about better than carrying around anger and hate :)
 
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