If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain

Thank you both. :)

I started to realize how ridiculous this guy is yesterday... he came up here AGAIN without making plans with me, or even telling me for that matter. Apparently he sent me a text yesterday morning asking him to meet him at a resturaunt and i didn't get the actual text until 9:30 last night... but whatever. It was this constant back and forth thing yesterday, and finally for a few hours i just left my phone at home and went hiking. idk... then when i finally talked to him i just said ... look i am not ready for this, just let me go and i will let you know when i am, it will be much better if I can be strong going into something.
sooo yah. then he like calls and stuff and he says sorry for the things he said and stuff and idk i guess we are on good terms.
this whole situation got wayyyyy out of hand, i realize I should have just cut it off when i decided that i am not ready instead of continuing to talk to him a lot and stuff.



anywayssssssss lol I am really happy because the last few days of eating gross junk didn't affect my weight, and I did get out yesterday for a hike. I am ok. Honestly I feel like I am improving a lot because normally so much confrontation and confusion would send me into hiding for a while.
It feels good to be assertive and stick up for myself :)
 
It feels good to be assertive and stick up for myself
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No one else is gonna stick up for you -it takes effort to care enough about yourself to do it... well done young lady... :D

and double bonus points for recognizing it... :D
 
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whyyy doesn't the photo work? is it cuz it says IMG code is off at the bottom of the page?

anyways, i really love this :)
 
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Glad to hear you're feeling better today, Britta. Keep digging around inside yourself until you find some peace and stability.
 
So I went to the Dr. today and my official weight loss to them is 21 lbs. :) yaaay. That's since April. yessssssss cuz I thought it was 17.

anyways... yah last night was the finale of my soap opera with this guy. He was going nuts because I didn't call him for a day. I didn't want to talk to him after he said he was going to Hustlers and when I asked what Hustlers was, he said 'a topless resturaunt'. I was like ewww i would lose my appetite..but hey you're a guy. then he kept expecting me to be mad and i was like ... no i am not mad i dont realy care if that's what you're into but i am a bit grossed out. The next day i asked my guy friend about hustlers and he says its a trashy strip club...hmmmmm so yah just done with the games and spinning the truth. Like... strip clubs for bachelor parties... whatever... but dont act like it's a resturaunt... this just makes him unnatractive to me. idk maybe i am being a prude by some standards but that's just me, i guess. i didn't think he was into trashy stuff like that, so whatever.
yah then he starts accusing me of seeing other people...
i think the reason he lashes out at me with hurtful things is because I refuse to fight with him. I wont say something to him that I will feel bad about later. That's the difference between us, and i think it causes him to feel like i dont care. soooo i miss him but every time i look at his picture all i see is him getting a lap dance. lol. makes me feel sick but, hey, keeps me from missing the douche bag.

I told my dad that he must be the only nice guy. and he was like ... 'no i am not and you will find one but there is so much for you to focus on right now and you dont need this distracting you and making you feel worse. He sounds so immature compared to you, and a little bit sad, so dont waste your energy...' yah... boys drool.
 
well your dad is right. from the sound of things it just seems to me that deep inside you find this guy to be an unnecessary distraction. if that is the case, just let him go. plus i think that focusing on yourself, learning about yourself and learning to love yourself will bring different guys into your life. the more you start realizing what you want in your life and in your relationships more people will be drawn to that energy. once you realize that you are the one making choices for yourself things get much easier. plus why would you need a distraction...flirt a little, have fun, enjoy life.

I also had the similar problem as you do. I am always nice and always taking crap from people. at least that was me. being in budapest showed me something different. I avoided conflicts and standing up for myself all my life because i thought people would stop liking me, that i will look selfish, i even had those: 'but what if nothing better comes along???'

the truth is...so what? someone is bound to like me and not like me..just as i like and don't like certain people. and that is perfectly fine. will i look selfish? maybe...but everybody is at some point. that did not make me turn away from such individuals. on the contrary...i would only find new respect for them. and finally...believe me, there is always someone better who will come along. a guy who would be more intellectual or funnier, or a better dancer, or will understand you in ways you never expected. who knows. he will come.

and you deserve better.
:)
 
e was going nuts because I didn't call him for a day.[/QUOTE
I though you were done with him - and you had broken up - so why would he expect you to call -and why did you call him?

Done is done...

There are plenty of good guys out there who will treat you with respect and the way you want to be treated... but you have to respect yourself first...
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Hi Britta! :waving: Hope you're doing well and that the boy situation turned out OK :) Congratulations on the size lost, hope you come back and update us!
 
Happy birthday young lady... I do hope that this is the start of a great year or you and all your birthday wishes and dreams come true :)
 
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