If Not Now, Then When?


Well-known member
Hello my lovelies,

A long hiatus, once again... I posted last in 2020 when my Grama was very unwell with cancer. Sadly she died in January. It was very difficult with covid as unable to be with her when she passed which was very hard to come to terms with. One month after she died I found out I was pregnant and was also set to inherit a chunk of money from her. It has been a whirlwind year, many complications with the pregnancy but baby A was born very healthy at the end of October. With the inheritance we moved out of the city and to a small village in the countryside - after covid we were longing for open spaces for walks and a friendlier place to raise the spawn!

So, I find myself a mum of 2 (10 weeks and 2.5 years) and living in a new place with maternity leave stretching before me. I need to lose a chunk of weight.. I put on a lot during pregnancy and am at my heaviest so need to find a balance between eating enough and fueling my body with the right stuff so I can breastfeed my little lump of baby but also drop some serious poundage. I started a week or so ago in earnest and have lost 3lbs and am still eating around 2000 cals a day. I believe breastfeeding burns about 500 a day so 2000 seems about right to aim for.

Currently up at 0320 feeding my girlie. She just slept for 4.5 hours which is AMAZING as she has been getting up every 2 hours for the last 10 weeks.. I may feel human again soon! There is hope! We did a lovely forest walk today and I did 12,000 steps between that and chasing after my toddler.

Hope everyone is doing well - I've been following the forum most weeks to check in on everyone and whilst I can't promise to post on everyone's diaries, I have missed you all and have thought of you often!
How lovely to hear from you! Sorry to hear about your grandmother but congratulations on the new baby and new house. It really has been a wild year for you :)
How lovely to hear from you! Sorry to hear about your grandmother but congratulations on the new baby and new house. It really has been a wild year for you :)
Hi lovely! Yes, it's been a weird year..but lovely in many ways.. Moving house with a 2 week old was an experience.. Luckily Yank is a stay at home dad to our toddler so we are both now at home and enjoying some time not working with the littles. Very lucky..

No plans for today yet so I'm still in PJs and feeding the baby again. Weather is awful but have some packages to post so will bundle up and take the toddler out later this morning.. Lots of friends were due to visit last week and the coming weeks but the insane covid numbers in the UK has meant all have cancelled. Finding it difficult to feel so isolated as none of my closest friends have met my baby yet.

Food wise I will be slow cooking a smoked sausage casserole this afternoon which we will have with a crusty roll. Found some that are only 130 calories and the casserole is under 300 a portion so might do some roast potatoes to go with it. Then I've got some seeds and cashews portioned out for snacks with some salt and vinegar lentil chips which are my latest addiction. I find weight loss so much easier if I eat the same stuff every day.
Made the foolish error of going to IKEA. I've never been before and will never go again, was like the 9th circle of hell, pretty sure I saw 2 marriages ending in the food storage section :banghead:
You just get swept along a conveyor belt of shite that you can't get off until the checkouts. Did manage to get a wardrobe for toddler and a new rug but it was not worth the damage to my blood pressure. Never again.

Food prepped and logged for the day to prevent me deviating from the plan. Didn't get around to doing my casserole so it's Kiev and potatoes with Cauliflower and Broc for dinner. I had a bagel thin with turkey ham and lettuce for lunch and snacks will be a very, very large glass of prosecco, some pumpkin seeds and lentil crisps. Coming in at 1700 calories with 8000 steps (mostly done in IKEA whilst trying frantically to escape).
I love Ikea but I never go there at a time everyone's free/awake. Congratulations on making it out!
Oh, hon, I am so glad you are back with us :grouphug: I have missed your wonderful outlook on life & the laughs. Now, if only Kate would come back...I am so sorry that you couldn't be with your gran when she died but so glad you have moved to the country with your little family. We did the same when our 2 were very young( & took over a country pub :eek: ).
I would hate Ikea I think. I loathe big department stores or crowds. I just want to get the heck out of there.
2000 cals a day sounds like a good number. I'm getting back into logging into MFP again now. It really does help.
Did I say how glad I am that you are back? 🥰
well done getting out of Ikea in one piece, I have only ever been there once and had a nice staff member point us towards a shortcut to the checkout area and avoid the pre-set path through the store.
Thanks lovely Cate xx I'm glad to be back. I always gravitate back here, like a large, tired meteor stuck in the forums orbit!

I wish I'd asked someone for a shortcut,. Tru! It was hell on earth!!

Busy morning here (when is it not a busy morning with two under three..). Baby slept for a 5 hour block last night which was the most consecutive sleep I've had in months. Annoyingly I still feel shattered! 😂 Such is life.
We went out bright and early for our booster jabs. Arm a bit sore, hopefully that'll be all the side effects I get. I breastfed whilst I had it done as baby was hungry - surprising how quickly you get comfortable whacking your boobs out in public.

Taking the toddler to soft play this afternoon which will be "fun".. Am meeting a pal there so at least can attempt some adult conversation for an hour or so.

Casserole in the slow cooker and works out at 208 calories a portion (big portions, too!). It is full of courgette, mushrooms, peppers, tinned matos, garlic, cumin, lots of black pepper and reduced fat smoked sausage. It's gorgeous and we eat it at least twice a week in winter. I've just had the same lunch as yesterday with a bagel thin, ham and cheese.

Calories yesterday were 1800 in the end and scales showing 218lbs this morning down from 222lbs last week so a 4lb loss so far.

Where we were: 222lbs
Where we are: 218lbs
Total loss: 4lbs
Sadly deprived of adult conversation! Your food sounds good though, especially that casserole. What kind of spices do you use?
Sadly deprived of adult conversation! Your food sounds good though, especially that casserole. What kind of spices do you use?
Thanks, it is delish. Lots of cumin, sage, paprika, marjoram.. It's lovely with lots of black pepper. Sadly out of crusty rolls so need to find a suitable carb.. Maybe rice. Bloody starvinggggg.
Welcome back Sunflower! 4 pounds down already, well done. My date also cancelled, must be something in the air! ;)
Isn't it incredible how used to whipping out a boob you get when you have a hungry baby? We went to a restaurant with all of our restaurant staff when D was just a newborn & I went off to a quiet corner to feed him & most of them came up to watch as they were fascinated. None of them had children. I soon got over my self-consciousness. I used to make an attempt at modesty, but not for my sake.
When our 2 were little I set up my own playgroup. Look around your neighbourhood & just start chatting to other mothers that you like the look of. I had to make all new friends when I had my first baby. I started with a woman doing gardening out the front of her house with her baby in a pram. She smiled & said hello & this time I stopped. I asked her how she manages to fill her day & she said she was hoping I would stop one day. We got chatting, she invited me in for a coffee & it went from there. I invited a not so close friend who lived about 5km away & had her baby around about the same time as me. We had lost touch when she split with her husband who was a friend of G's. When the 3 of us got together we discussed that there must be so many people in the same situation. I had spotted a new mother in the block of flats next door who looked a bit lonely & 2 of us went & knocked on her door & invited her in for a coffee at my place with us. She was lovely. I am still in touch with that first new friend. My not so close friend became my best friend really & we had our second children within 6 hours of one another. I told her she had to wait until mine was born as he was due first.
With yank working from home meeting in a neutral place would be a good idea. It was noisy & messy & our house was the most suitable. Poor G when he got home from work to a houseful of mothers & babies! Is there a local playgroup? They can be a bit much. We enjoyed our own personal one.
That was way too much to put in your diary, Han. I was going to delete it, but I really wanted to say that you will make new friends with more in common with the stage you're at now, while still retaining your good old friends. Things just change a bit. You're good at making friends :grouphug:
Cate, that's a lovely post and very much appreciated. I love the image of you seeing a lady with a baby gardening and stopping to say hi. I met one of my closest friends at an antenatal session for my first baby and we hit it off but seems harder second time around for some reason. Yank isn't working from home - he's simply not working! He left his job to be a full time stay at home dad to E as childcare was so insanely expensive it made sense for one of us to be home.. With two that's doubly true and he will be home now til E is in school I imagine.. Full time childcare for 1 can be upwards of £1000 a month...with two...just not going to be manageable. And he was made to be a dad..love seeing him with them. He has the odd shift at a restaurant in the new village we live in to help with money. He's there tomorrow night so I'll be ringing in 2022 with the kids!
I'll go back to work after Summer I think, we will see how long the money lasts.

E will be starting swimming lessons next month and I've found a baby group to take A to hopefully I will cultivate some new flowers for my friendship garden 🌸
I think I knew that Yank was a stay at home Dad. I think that is lovely. You'll never get this time back again & when your kids are this young it is so good for them I think to form those close bonds. We moved to Tasmania & took over a country pub so that we could all be together & so the kids would have us both close. We could have stayed in the city but I was quite lonely & thinking of going back to work or college & G hardly saw the kids. When he was home he was always incredibly tired. We didn't do anything together.
You will certainly cultivate some new flowers for your friendship garden. Swimming lessons will be fun.
I'll have a quiet toast to you being back in the forum tonight. G & I will just be seeing out the new year at home. The nearest town is 11km away & I like to feel safe at home on NYE. I might even have French champagne as there is one in the wine rack.(Mumm). I'll go sneak it into the fridge now I think.
French champagne sounds gorgeous, Cate. A toast to you, too!

Blurgh, not a great start to the day. Had my booster jab yesterday and developed a temperature in the night, was shivering, freezing cold, headachey and generally feeling like a bag of dicks. Fever broke this morning and now I'm a sweaty, hot mess. Kids do not care one tiny bit that I feel like a train has hit me and were both screaming in unison at 5 this morning. Luckily Yank took them both for a little while.

Plan for today is to hibernate on the sofa with baby, plan some D&D campaign stuff for restarting in the new year and eat tomato soup. Yank and E off to the tip. Very jealous as love a tip run.. We must have recycled or thrown away about 25% of our things before we moved house and still finding things we don't use anymore..
I spent hours yesterday and today digging through my old stuff that was still taking up space in my parents' barn. So good to be rid of it!
Sorry to hear you felt crummy after the booster: hope you recover quickly and can start the new year on a happy note.
We had Tassie champagne instead, but it was delicious. I really could have opened another bottle, but glad I didn't. I was actually in bed before midnight this year. That sucks that the booster made you feel so crook. I hope it passes quickly. I hate to think what covid would feel like.
We have been in this house for over 18 years now & I still go through my cupboards & declutter on a regular basis. It's very good for you. I must do some more today.
I hope you have such a lovely 2022, Han 😘
Yank didn't work a shift last night as so many people had cancelled bookings the restaurant didn't even open.. Sign of the times! Was nice to have him home - I had a night off plan and had some wine, some crisps and a bowl of pasta for dinner. Was lovely and I enjoyed every bite/drink!

Back on it today - dragged both children around the forest for 4 miles this morning. E had to be bribed with endless raisins. He's napping now and baby is about to go off so we are cleaning and I've just had a bowl of ravioli for lunch. Aiming for 1700 calories today.

Am reading This Naked Mind about relationships with alcohol as was recommended by a friend. I do like a drink most evenings but it's usually a glass of wine with dinner.. However, a bad habit and one I'd like to break ideally. Think after the long slog of the day I really place of lot of value on a drink and nice food as it feels like a reward/treat.

Yank getting right on my tits today - I'm a bit out of sorts. I don't like new year for some reason.. Maybe because I set goals I don't achieve.. Hoping this year will be different. Like my title.. If not now, then when?
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