Icychic's Weightloss Diary

Didn't crave DQ, was just the evil tv commercials. Week a small craving but was too busy I wouldn't have been able to go ahead. Didn't finish the chips. Trying to just have a few a day and see how that goes. No workout today :( went to my aunt's for waxing cuz we have that work outing this weekend and she couldn't do it Saturday.

Hopefully I will sleep better tonight and wake up with some energy. Must eat well and workout tomorrow because this sucks.
 
Hey Icy....a few years back I was in weigh watcher.....here is what helped me out with snacks.....I bought a regular bag of chip and while chewing gum or drinking tea (so I would not be tempted) I would put single serving in siplock bags and stach them in the freezer, that way I would only eat one handful at a time ......

I hope you where able to get some much needed sleep last night!
 
Over 8 hours in bed, only 4 hours of sleep. This is frustrating, I'm just not staying asleep! tempted to try a sleeping pill tonight or tomorrow and see how that goes. Just wish I knew why I'm So restless overnight.

MUST WORKOUT TODAY!!!
 
So I was going to lock the office door just over an hour ago and do a workout (or half of one), then the phone rang, and other things happened, and has not happened yet. I really want to get super caught up today so that I'm organized for tomorrow and can perhaps leave early tomorrow (after a workout of course). Going to eat something for lunch, get lots of work done, and maybe I can shut down early today. Perhaps I'll even try taking a nice soothing, relaxing bath tonight, but still have to figure out dinner for tonight too. Blah.
 
I never really used to "feel" fat, or never really thought about it unless I looked in the mirror. I always knew I was overweight, and tried to wear clothing accordingly, but not I notice it more. Like when I'm working out and I'm looking at my belly, I wonder how I let myself get to this point. I know it's not THAT bad, it could be a lot worse, but for me it's bad! I have always been overweight, but it used to be only like 5-10 lbs extra in my belly, but now it's worse and has affected me so much more. I cannot wait to be in better shape, and yet I find myself sabotaging myself and not making the proper effort to workout and eat right and actually lose the weight. I know there is a mental block, and I possibly know what it is, but I'm hoping to move passed it.

I have to keep telling myself that I DESERVE to feel good about myself, I DESERVE to have a hot body, and I DESERVE to feel sexy damn it! I just don't want to do the work LOL. But I know I have to. I know the only way to get there, the only way to stay there, and the only way I will feel good and appreciate it is by working hard at it. I know I haven't been doing well, I haven't lost much at all and even today I'm back up to 141.5, I was just at 140! So close to the 130s! And I've screwed it up.

No I am not giving up. I'm a little...OK let's be honest, A LOT discourage, but I WILL NOT GIVE UP. That would mean failure, and I refuse to fail. I am still lower than when I started this process, and looking at the Offtober Challenge I'm only 0.5 up from last Saturday. Hopefully I can lose 1lb so that I can keep my weekly progress going down at least, even if day to day it is fluctuating. I still hope to hit my Offtober goal of 133 but Oct 26th, but I don't have high hopes that that. I will keep aiming for those targets though, because I still want to hit my 115 goal by the New Year. Once I hit 125 I will probably re-evaluate to see if 115 or 120 is a better place to stop but that's still a ways to go so 115 is my target. 10 weeks means 2.65 lbs/week which is a pretty tall order.

I don't know why but I feel like I need to get this all out there and just get it out of my chest, and these things I keep thinking about and wondering about and I figure what better place than here. I do hope to get my motivation back, and I hope to get things in my life in order (like booking a freaking venue for our wedding! GAH! must make some calls/send some emails after I post this) and start working on me, and feeling good about myself again, and not spending hours before going somewhere trying on shirts and pants and skirts and dresses because none of them look good on me. I'm sick of always worrying about my body and how I look in clothes and how my belly hangs out and being so self conscious of it all the time. I'm sick of it and I wish I could just stay home and workout all the time, but in reality if I didn't have a job, and I was home all day, I wouldn't be working out. I'd be watching TV and procrastinating. I think I'm a little depressed about life, but I'm working through that, and I think losing this weight and making better progress on my exercising will help me be happier in life and more carefree.

But enough of that, time to make some calls and do some work!
 
Ugh. I think I'm just gonna call this whole week a "break". Its 5pm and I am not wanting to workout, I want to go home and make dinner and eat and take a bath and perhaps do some more wedding research or just play games and sleep.

Right now I am doing a little more wedding research and then leaving, no workout today again. BLAH!
 
I found it was a lot easier to stick with consistent physical activity when I switched to something that didn't "wear me out" so fast.

For instance, when I was into shadow-boxing, I usually did between 15 to 25 minutes every other day.

Then I switched to yoga, which, even though is not as intense as the boxing, I still can get a decent cardio work from it. Furthermore, I've been doing two classes (which together are around 85 minutes), and I can stick with that almost every day.

Why don't you try something a bit easier on yourself? or perhaps something you enjoy, and see how you feel?

I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
 
Hi Icy,

I understand how you are feeling. I don't know what the hell happened to me, I used to have awesome abs. No just ugh!! I won't even look at pictures from a year ago or so. But we are both on the right track. The scale will go down for both of us, we have nipped this problem in the bud before more weight was gained.

I think that maybe if you could find some exercise that you enjoy, it would be easier for you. As for me by the end of the day I'm too tired to exercise, like I used to. So I have switched to the morning. It feels good to know that if I want to do some toning that is a bonus, but that I have all ready done the tough workout for the day. I have really long hair and I don't want to wash it twice a day, so running before I've showered is so much easier.

I do feel a bit depressed about life to. Be kind to yourself, rest if you need it and I honestly think that your body will reward you with more energy! :)
 
eSurfer: looks like you posted the same thing in Cate's diary as well. I am not looking for information on supplements. If you are please start your own thread elsewhere and ask for advice or post your experience for others to read. Please do not post in other people's diaries like this. Much appreciated.

Athala and JadeLynn thank you both. I have been trying to get out of bed earlier but with the lack of sleep and privacy in my home due to my FBIL it's hard to workout at home at all. I think after this ISC challenge my next challenge will be a shorter workout like 15-20mins that I will try doing more often. At least if it's only 15-20 mins it can fit into my day better. I think the fact that I know right now it would be 30-60 mins it's a little discouraging. If I find next week I feel the same way I may change the workout and see if a shorter one works better and gets me going more. Perhaps more cardio, less abs? I dunno.
 
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142 today. Boo. That is really really crappy. But hoping to do something today, even if it's only a partially ISC Challenge workout, or something totally different, I want to do something before we go away for the weekend. It's almost 10AM and I have been procrastinating, and still am. Hopefully will go hard at work very soon today so I can be done early and sneak off. Got some things to do like go to the bank and other errands that I would like to get done today.

Oh and of the 7 ish hours I was in bed, 5 hours of sleep. Felt a little better but hoping I get better sleep on the weekend. Will be odd not having the dog around, but perhaps we will both sleep better at least for the one night.
 
141 today. Same as last week but not as good as my lowest earlier this week. Gonna try cleaning the house a bit today and then we are off to Banff for the weekend for a work outing. No swimsuit for me I think, way to self conscious still because I haven't lost near enough weight to feel OK like that. I might just try finding a shirt to wear over top and see how that works. *shrug*. Really hoping I don't over-eat or drink too much but I'm giving myself a pass this weekend. I will search for shorter workouts to try next week since I keep making excuses not to do the ISC Challenge ones.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!
 
Hey Icy.....is you have a facebook account fitness magazin and a tone of other post 20 min work outs and 10 min workouts they are fun to do and free.....something for you to check out!!!

Have fun this weekend and return monday feeling 100% relax and ready to work!!!
 
Oh I so hope that you have a great time! Do you have a cute little tank dress that you can wear over your swim suit. Those work cute as a cover up. But there are always things to do that don't require a swimsuit. :) I really do think that stress contributes so much to our weight and can make it harder to reach our goals. So....have a lovely stress free weekend away!

The DVD series that I like (The Firm) has some newer DVDs that don't use the step equipment and are around 30 minutes long. You can check them out online, there is a website and a facebook page.
 
Yeah YouTube has lots of 15-20min workouts. I will also see what Fitness Blender has as they do seem to have good workouts and their site is also free.

The week was good. We didn't leave as early as I thought we were planning yesterday, left around 2PM and just got home today (picking up the dog later). We a good night, had a total of about 5-6 drinks I think all night, ate too much, but did a lot of walking too so that's good. There wasn't actually a "pool" it was a hot tub thing, but it was different and really cool! Didn't go in yesterday (closed at 11PM) but we made it in after breakfast this morning and before we checked out. Glad we did! Overall, good trip (except the speeding ticket we got on the way there cuz he was driving too fast :p).

Plan for the rest of the day:
No idea about dinner (had McD's yesterday for lunch and again on the way back so that sucked but that's OK), but right now I'm OK, just a bit thirsty.
Going to go through wedding details and see if I can find catering pricing online or if anyone will answer their phones and answer questions.
Possibly before that properly list out the details I have for venues so I can compare them all easily.
Play some Wow.
Run a couple errands (groceries and stuff).
Get Winter, eat dinner, then sleep early!

We slept late, like 1:30AM, and didn't get the best sleep (hotel beds aren't always the greatest) but that's OK. Hope to sleep well tonight.

Hope this week goes better and I actually get some workouts in!
 
Hey Icy, glad you had a good weekend!! Haha Maccas, when I went on that 2 week drive across Aus a few months ago we had it for breakfast almost daily (I had bunless sausage mcmuffins and a ccoffee) and haven't had it since. Can't really face the thought of it actually, guess that's a good thing!!

Check out bodyrock.tv for workouts, they're all a max of 20mins and don't require any equipment. Most are pretty hard but there's beginner ones too!

Wooo, lets have an awesome week!
 
The problem with dairy products, especially milk, is that they contain casein - a protein that acts in the same was as gluten. Since I have an autoimmune desease, milk is not an option for me.
 
Icy, I’m just getting caught up on your diary. I wanted to comment on your post a few days ago about feeling discouraged. You are far from being alone there. I think we’ve all felt that at one point or another. I know I certainly have. The important thing is to keep on going. Do not give up! Things will get better, even if it takes what feels like an eternity.
 
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