I want to love myself again

SO SOREEEE

I went to the gym today right after work and no i feel beat.
Had a good work out and so far its going good. Its my goal this week to go to the gym mon-fri :D:D Just to break the gym laziness.

Had good food today.
-Cinamon brown sugar oatmeal with reduced sugar with milk and a pear
-Vegetable chicken rice with a tangerine
-Pasta with steak bits and some tomato sauce
-Medium coffee with a friend

It's 11.30pm and I am a little hungry but its ok..becaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Im to sexy for my fridgeeeeee :D:D:D
 
THank you Alta818 :)

Moment of deep thoughts
I have ended the bond between me and my best friend for good reasons of course but I'm not gonna lie I miss her very much and all week I've been in a very emotional mood. I've been hitting the gym monday, tuesday and even today I am taking a run on the treadmill that I have here at home but with still being strong on my path I still cant help but feel so sad...I guess its a process.


OKAY now that I got that out of my system I am happy to say that people are noticing my weightloss and it's nice because my work is paying off slowly by being visible :D
Today I had a good day.

Brkfst - Brown sugar cinnamon oatmeal with reduced sugar with milk
Lunch - Steak pasta about 2cups
Dinner - Cauliflower with potato wedges, a tiny bit of chicken breast and some light ranch to dip about a tbs and then a banana.

I had no snacks because of my work which still has me at about 738cals left for the night
which i am so hating because even tho I am not hungry now becase I just had dinner I know that I am depriving my body of the needed energy through food intake.
I have LOTS of fruits available so Ill probably have some fruit later on around 930 so I can take my medication.

I am veryyyyyyy excited to say that I have my first ZUMBA class on friday at my gym that I signed up for so YAY! It's 45min long and I am looking forward to it very much.
I am also very excited for sunday my 5th weigh-in :D



*Since my dinner wasnt enough and my cals were way I under I figured a 6" tuna on whole wheat wouldnt hurt so I had that around 930, took my medicine n went to bed and I am sad to say I did NOT go running like I planned, no excuses I was just being lazy.*
 
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Sorry to hear about your best friend. :( I'm sure you have valid reasons.

...still though, it's tough to lose a friend. Or better stated, have to discard a friend. Glad you are working out though! :)
 
Alta818 said:
Sorry to hear about your best friend. :( I'm sure you have valid reasons.

...still though, it's tough to lose a friend. Or better stated, have to discard a friend. Glad you are working out though! :)
Click to expand...



Thanks ALT818
It's true it's hard but sometimes for the reasons being, it has to be done :(
But I am feeling better every single day so yay
 
I am def getting sick :( no no nooo bad timinggg!
My nose is very stuffy...probably sinus infection :S grr
I hate it when Im on a roll and then I get sick it sucks soo much.
Today tho I sucked it up and went to the gym, I did 30min on the treadmill and I really pushed myself, I did about 12min of running which is a huge step for me because usually around 3min id be dead as a fish. I can already see myself improving :)
I did about 5min of the eliptical only because I was waiting for a tanning bed to free up so instead of standing around I did some more work. I did the weights and sit ups and let me tell you I am so sore right now its not even funny.
My gym is a all womans gym and I was the ONLY one there red as a tomato sweating like a crazy person and damn it felt good. I dont mean to trash talk anyone, expecially when they got up off of their butts jst like us to go to the gym, but is 30min on a bike going slow as a snale reading a magazine really a freakin workout??
Just coz u go to the gym doesnt mean you are doing good...u gotta put work into it...feel the pain..then come talk to me.

Blahh moment of irritation lol

Anywho today was a weird day as far as eating went.
I DID GOOD! but i decided that its better to have dinner after working out but each time i fnid myself hungry as a horse and even when i have eaten...5min later im still craving for more and more crap, wth??

SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!
 
Hey girl!

If your body is getting sick, make sure you give it rest. It's telling you something...you'll be back at it in no time. I know you're on a roll but while you're resting and getting better, the need to work out is going to build up and when you do get back in the gym you're just going to go crazy and tear it up!!!

Congrats on running for 12 minutes! Isn't that feeling the most amazing feeling in the world?! Where you just keep running?! It's doing what you thought was impossible. I LOVE that feeling!

Lol that will sometimes irritate me as well when I see people just relaxing. I don't understand. Different strokes for different folks, huh? Usually I'm so in the zone that I won't realize anyone around me =X Only time it will really bug me is if I'm waiting for a particular machine and the person is just relaxing. Drives me nuts!

Awesome job on the eating! Fight those cravings! Meet your water intake for the day and drink some H2O! If you're hungry, reach for something healthy (and that you enjoy!) Reach for that apple and put a little peanut butter on it!

You're doing amazing! Awesome job :)
 
hey there,

I'm new on the forum (there is a German equivalent, Abnehmen.com, but I have a record of starting diaries there and neglecting them pretty soon...),
and on the first or second day, someone recommended to me the C25K program.

(couch to 5km)

I have no clue if it's good for anybody, but I am loving it. (had my second workout last night)

It gives me the structure in my workout that I have been badly missing for ages, and it prevents me from going to fast, trying too much at once and therefore keeping me from injuring myself or feeling (big time) pain.

Also, it's only 30mins every 2nd day, which is very good as I also work fulltime and cherish the little free time that remains.

Time-wise, it's less intensive than the workout I had originally planned (6x per week cardio-workout), so in the beginning I won't lose weight that quickly, but imagine the big calory numbers I can crunch if I can run 5km (30 mins) at once, every (other) day.. :)

never give up. Spring and Summer are approaching quickly..
 
Thank you gohomejes :) you are def right...we should always gets some good rest before kicking it to the gym again and even tho it sucks it's something that is important.

**********************

Well today I skipped my Zumba class and the gym all together.
I worked a 8 hour shift today all while being sick.
I dont know how I did it...the headache, the sinus pain and the constant runny/stuffy nose and with the watery eyes...I had to pull thru but I did decide to go home and rest and not go to the gym today I couldn't my body is drained of energy just trying to battel this cold/flu.
I had a good dinner, some steak with some potatos, not very much and right now (11pm) I am hungry. I am completely convinced that I am not doing something right...after over a month now I should not be so hungry at night, I should be satisfied but nope..here I am...dieing to eat something I know I wont but I am starting to dread nights because of this feeling. Tomorrow is my first doctors app since he told me about needing to start losing weight so I hope that we find good improvements and positive feedback and I am going to be asking him to take my blood work just to make sure everything is balanced as far as my kidneys go and hormones and all the other fancy stuff inside me.

Gotta keep pushin on :)
 
WEIGH-IN 5 - LOST 2LBS THIS WEEK

TOTAL - 19lbs

BMI went from 43 to 39.8

Lost 6.43% of body fat so far

*********************************************

Went to my doctors yesterday, he was very impressed with my results so far and said that if I continue to do good that my body, my health should be like brand new in a matter of months. I was in denial for so long that my weight was what caused my problems, I would always say my health problems caused my weight but the sad truth is I caused my weight, my weight caused my bad health.
It's always easier to point the finger at something else, but it's all us.
So last night I went out for a friends birthday, had a bit a lot to drink lol but I calculated that into my calories just to stay true to my routine and also I had a lateeee snack around 130am, had a shawarma and some lentil rice, we were so hungry from all the drinking so I have not yet had a cheat day so this was it, the one cheat a month day.
Today so far is pretty blah, im jst so tired I feel like sleeping all day. I had cereal and a banana for breakfast, then a potato pie for lunch with sour cream (a european balkan thing) and I had a apple, so for dinner Im pretty clueless :( maybe ill make myself some boiled asparagus with some kind of protein and perhaps some mashed potatos yumm.
I wil try to hit my treadmill at home tonight just to kind of get warmed up for the work week to come. OHHHHH and I totallly forgot to mention.....holy**** it was sooo much more easier to dance last night. See I love to freakin dance, music is my thing, but id start to sweat and breath so heavy 20min into it...last night i felt light on my feet and I felt stronger and I could have danced all night...so yayyy to the jogging Ive been doing, its motivating me so much, and even tho I had just a small taste of weightloss so far....that little amount is making me feel amazing and more confident so imagine 40 or 60lbs down...it's gonna be a whole new me :)
 
Gym - Treadmill 20min (10min jogging fast) 200cal
Elliptical 20min - 310cal
various weights and sit ups

Had a good time at the gym, I felt so powerful when I was running. Those 10min seemed like nothing and I was on full force, pushing myself to see how fast and long I could go. My next goal is 15min. I felt like I had more energy after the gym, I dont ache so much after workouts no more so Im def gonna try to pump things up to get my body out of its comfort zone.

Food wise I had a meh day to be honest. I didnt go overboard I went under.
Breakfeast-Special K vanilla almond cereal with 2%milk and a banana
No snack
Lunch-whole wheat toasted bun, squirt of mustard ketchup light mayo, 2 slices of pickles, lettuce, onions, hot peppers and tomato < my own veggie burger :)
Snack-apple
:came home from work at 6, didnt want to eat dinner before the gym but was starving so i had
appetizer snack- Whole wheat tortilla, tspn of cream cheese, lean smoked turkey breast 4 thing slices.
Dinner-2 cups of beanstew with some 100%whole wheat whole grain bread (1slice)
some green onions on the side.
Dessert- apple

I was under by a big number, around 700. Im supposed to eat 1910cals a day but im always under and yes im happy about that but im scared of not getting enough energy for my body. Now its 12am...Im a little hungry and its not such a bad crave as much as it is annoying.


blahhhhhhhhhh
 
A family member asked me to stay home for a reason today and not to go to the gym, i agreed and figure i'd take a break and do as this person asked, I come home and the clock strikes 7pm, I go to them and said "well you told me you needed to be at massage therapy, and that I needed to stay home for *a personal reason*" and they respond "well i didnt end up making a app". So this whole freaking time they knew that I had no reason to stay home and was very motivated to hit the gym a 3rd day in a row but instead this selfish person lied and is giving me a very tough time about going to the gym so much. It really doesnt help when the closest person to you is the one making it hard for you. I was very angry, i almost lost it, i was so angry that i almost just said " forget this crap" and went back to my old lifestyle but I controlled myself, calmed myself down and told myself that this too shall pass. See the history with this person is that Ive asked (HER) to not give me trouble when I say i am going to the gym around 630pm after a 8 hour shift at work. She said " I wont dont worry" and so not even a week later...here we are.

Some things I just cannot believe.


**On the bright side I reached my goal of running 15minutes straight last night, alternating speeds to challange myself. Did 40min of cardio :) **
 
Didnt go to the gym, didnt do any excercise today.
Worked all day came home, had my dinner (subway) and then around 930pm i decided to have a strawberry sunday from mcdonalds with my brother, I felt very guilty but you know what I havent touched anything bad in 41days not even as a cheat so i dont care...i wont beat myself up over a stupid sunday. Im still stressed and pissed for not being at the gym but i guess ill have to just deal with it. I havent eaten bad but I feel like i started to consume too much wholewheat bread. I think i have told myself as long as its wholewheat its good its ok and yes its BETTER than white bread but its still all carbs so goal for now is to cut back on my bread consumption by about 50% and another thing ... yes im eating much healthier but my portions are still bad, not at brkfst or lunch but at dinner. Goal #2 get my portions right and stop overeating maybe thats y im seeing a weightloss decrease.
 
Heyyyyyy girl!!

"I felt so powerful when I was running" Oh man…isn't that the most amazing feeling ever?! I love it. I also have way more energy after the gym. LOVE it!

Don't let that person get you down! Use that anger as fuel to keep pushing through and striving towards your ultimate goal. Whenever I get sad or mad these days, it's just my fuel for once I'm in the gym!

And you better not be eating only 700 calories a day! Your body will go into starvation mode dude.

Don't you dare beat yourself up for not going to the gym. Once it's down, it's down. No use in beating yourself up. Just strive to do better the next day!!! Focus on that because that you DO have control over.

I hope you have an amazing weekend and kick the gym's butt this weekend! :)
 
WEIGH-IN 6 = LOST 3LBS THIS WEEK
TOTAL= 22LBS
CURRENT WEIGHT= 258 (OMG IM IN THE 50'S OMGGG!)
MINI GOAL BY APRIL = TO BE AT 240LBS OR LESS
*****************************************************

THank you GOhomejes, you are so right :) we should always use the energy we have good or bad to our advantage and just keep going stronger than ever.

Went to the gym on saturday for a little mini-evaluation and tbh, I did not like the crap that the trainer at my gym tried to feed me. I have told her that I already lost 20lbs and then she proceeded to sell me some bs about how that 20lbs is water and toxins and that I am gonna soon not lose anymore. Basically that if I dont invest in a trainer that will cost me 300bi/weekly ill fail. BULL!
I lost 3lbs this week and yes perhaps the first 10lbs were water and toxings but certainly not 20lbs and what I am doing is working very good for me, I am alternating things I am pushing myself harder each time I go to the gym, I dont stick to the same thing and I am well on my way.
I am very pumped to head back to the gym tomorrow! I cant believe that I am in the 250's, I havent seen that number in probably a good 2 or 3 years and now that its here its making me feel that I am just a little over halfway there. This feeling is amazing!
If I can do this so can anyone believe me. Its a fight daily but my good GOD, even the taste of my little success feels amazing.
 
So today I am feeling careless. Have any of you ever had a day where you just dont feel in a hurry to watch exactlly what you're eating and when? It hasnt been that bad of a day but I just felt very lazy. Too lazy to put effort into a good breakfast lunch and now dinner. We had a long weekend this weekend, 3 days off. I havent been to the gym those three days, out of laziness. Today is monday, it's family day in canada, I didnt work but I didnt go to the gym even tho I am not sure if its even open today, but I made no effort to find out so blah blah blah! This is def a lazy monday :mad:
Im kicking myself back to routine first thing tomorrow morning. Thank god for my work, it keeps me busy it keeps me moving. I realized sitting around my house for too long causes me to just become so careless. I guess I am the type of person that needs to be kept busy inorder to behave :p
 
Went to the gymmm :):):)

40min of treadmill and elliptical combined :D Super happy! I havent been to the gym in the last 6 days and Ive missed it so much I had such a good workout and it has relaxed me and taken out all my anxiety and stress.

I was planning to run for 10min becase I figured I havent been running in a week almost so to take it easy but as I ran and ran I felt more and more powerful, I just wanted to hit that 15min mark and yes it was hard, I wanted to just hit that STOP button at 14min I couldnt do it..but I pushed and pushed passed the pain passed the exhaustion and I went to 15 and it felt so damn good :D I then proceeded to do some weights and situps.
I cannot wait to go back there tomorrow, I have fallen in love <3
 
I was a little bored yesterday so I decided to grab the tightest thing in the closet on me and it was this really super cute dark grey dress jacket and pants and I wanted to cry because the sleeves were loose and the pants were perfect, not tugging or cutting into the stomach creating that roll. The jacket used to be so tight on my upper arms that I would feel like im being chocked and that I wasnt able to move.
I tried on many more things and it was all either loose or just right where before most of my stuff was too tight for me so i am sooooo happy to see these results I actually now for the first time believe that I am smaller than I was.

I am going to the gym today I havent been since monday because I havent felt good for three days. I had really bad backpain and I was very exhausted from everything, my mom told me I looked really worn out so I decided to just hold on a little with the gym thing and work was intense so I had my activity there. Today I am heading back I cant not..I miss it.

Update on the eating:
Yesterday (Feb25) Brkfst- Special K vanilla almond with 2% milk and a banana
snk- Half whole wheat bun w slice of pickle, lettuce, onion, relish
mustard and ketchup.
lunch-Whole wheat tortilla with a grilled skinless chicken breast, ranch
lettuce, onion, tomato slice, mustard and a donane peach
yogurt
Dinner- I decided to have a tortilla again, i was so hungry so I had 2
whole wheat ones, bunch of lettuce and then some chicken
I stopped eating at 6 havent touched food since 6pm since those tortillas made me feel full and so now Im starving for breakfast.

I have learned that healthy snacks inbetween meals are the key to success.
I am an emotional eater, food was my life and it felt like it could easy any pain and problem but now I have taught myself to let go of it and be stronger and find my life again and to not let weight tell me how I should live or feel about myself.

HAPPY SATURDAY TO ALL!
 
Heya!!! You are doing so well!!! Well done! :) don't get ne started on the bull trainers at the gym will tell you. At the end of the days it's a business so of course they are trying to sell you stuff.

But telling you that you won't be able to lose the weight yourself really is complete crap!!

Ignore them and enjoy proving then wrong!! X
 
Oh wow congratulations.
I'm so happy for you.
You must be soooo thrilled at your progress.
I love the feeling when your old too-tight clothes begin to fit perfectly.

Your meals all sound very delicious.

What snacks do you eat?
 
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