I want to love myself again

Weighin 12 - LOST 4LBS :):):):)
SW-280
CW-243
MiniGoal-240
Starting BMI-43
Current BMI-36

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OMG! I am so so so sooo happy!
After my trouble the last week with just hormones and no motivation I am so happy to be back on track and losing the lbs again. I had a little falldown but I decided I either get back up and not throw away all my hard work up until now or I drop everything and turn back into the person I used to be 3 months ago and HELL TO THE NO!
I did lots of gym this week, I watched what I ate and how much of it...never once was I hungry and infact I found myself not that hungry at lunch or dinner...it's so cool how your system just adjuts to everything. 3 months ago if you told me to eat so disciplined like I am today I would have laughed in your face; like "yea right buddy!"
I am almost at my minigoal of 240 :) I think Im gonna be def under 240 by the middle of April I might even make it all the way down to 230...ahhhhhhhhhhh.
To be honest here I still cannot believe I lost 37lbs...it's unreal so I cannot even grasp the reality of being nice and slim again like I used to be 6 years ago...it used to be a far far away dream that I thought I would never relive again...but it's happening :D
Who ever is struggeling to lose weight believe me when I tell you....you will not regret the hard moments and tears and the pain one bit once you've come even 1/4 closer to your goal weight infact you would want to go through it all again just to feel the satisfaction and pride again.

I hope everyone had a great weekend !
 
So hit the gym yesterday and im getting ready to go again today :)
Did 30min treadmill yesterday, 15min of those was running then the rest walking at a fast pace on an incline then I did light weights.
Today I am hoping to do a tad more than yesterday.
I just had my dinner
-2 small baked potatoes with sour cream
-a small steak
It was yumi yet nicely filling
I cant wait to go to the gym :) even tho it's working out it's my relaxation time..my me time and I love me time.
 
okay i have a concern ive been having these pains in my back right where my left kidney is, but funny enough it is only when I am standing at work for long hours that I find this pain coming and then when i come home sit down or lay down its gone, as soon as im off my feet it's gone. My mom insists it my kidney and i am starting to worry. Today I went to the gym i was fine I did lots of running some elliptical and even weights and lots of situps when I went to do my side situps, and turned my hips to the side I felt the pull and strech of the back area that hurts me, which leads me to believe its my muscle which happens to be right where the kidney is but none the less im gonna go get it checked out coz ill be worrying too much.
Had a good eating day...the day was good and productive :)
 
went to the hospital today to get some tests done for the backpain...doc says all test results came back good, i have no signs of a kidney infection or stones so its probably a strain on my muscle in that area from working out and to just monitor my pain level and if any symptoms start occuring to return.
Been to the gym so far mon, wed and going tomorrow too :)
Nothin can slow me down....wooot
 
WEIGHIN 13 - LOST 3LBS
CW- 240lbs
SW-280lbs

REACHED MY MINI GOAL OF LOSING 40LBS AND BEFORE APRIL 23! AHHHHHHHH
YAYYAYAYAYA!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF :D


I AM GONNA POST PICS IN MY B4-after thread!
 
PICTURES THAT I TOOK OF MYSELF TODAY HAVE BEEN POSTED IN MY b4/during/after thread, check it out people and let me know what u think so far.

*Moment of deep thought*
I realize there is at least another good 60lbs to go before I'll consider myself small but I cannot help but feel happy. I feel like there is hope and this is actually happening to me finally. For a very very long time I thought that me being smaller again and happy with my body again was nothing but a fairytale dream because everytime I tried to lose weight in the past i'd fail or i wouldnt try long enough to see a lb come of so as u see i never thought id be one of those people who lost a lot of weight.
I feel comfortable being me now, even with just 40lbs down..i feel a little more confident about myself, not fully but halfway. I do realize that im still a bigger girl, I mean im 240now so duh! and my confidenc level isnt very high still so im trying to stay very positive and tell myself that this is only temporary this feeling of shame of myself and that in no time ill be in shape and better than ever.

I hope everyone had a great weekend
:)
 
YOu are making great progress. I hope you are sticking with the healthy foods i saw you mention earlier on. I haven't read too much of your diary but saying yes to good food and no to bad foods is the way to go if you ask me.
 
fortyfour- Oh yes! It's all about eating healthier, eating better and it's important WHEN we eat too. So without those things I wouldnt have been able to lose with just the gym.
 
Gym - twice this week
-40min of cardio * 20min straight running*
-15min weights and situps

I have reduced my calorie intake by a 100 cals, it's now 1840cals/daily.
I have lost my 40lb and my next weighin is on sunday of course so im very curious to see the numbers. My next goal is another 40lbs by july, right on time for summer.
 
WEIGH-IN 14 LOST 1LB
CW-239
SW-280
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I went to the gym twice this week, both weeks worked very hard at it.
I can understand why only the 1lb loss tho, this weekend was bad for me.
Last night idiot me decided to have mcdonalds with a group of friends at 2am a full combo, horrible horrible. This i what happens when you go out to town and let loose a little too much. So I bet the few extra lbs i would have lost this week all went right back to my ass from that mcdonalds. THANKS SELFCONTROL!
I am happy about some loss even if it's 1lb, it could be no loss but still grr i was gunning for 3lbs but hey its all uphill from here.
I want to stay positive so I will say that i am a little proud of myself because I am out of the 240's and officially into the 230's WOOT WOOT!
I have a re-assesment at my gym this monday, theyre gonna weigh me and stuff and I told the girl I dont want to waste 20min talking, jst weigh me and I need to go work out, they tend to try to sell u things like $300bi/weekly training sessions...so no thanks!
Next weigh-in i want to be down at least 3lbs, ill be angry lol but no in all honesty, we have to have patience with our body and accept that we are not robots we cannot calculate these things. Every week it'll be different so as long as it's even a pound down I will appreciate that of my body.
I want to talk about the changes i've gone through while losing these 41lbs.
I tried on my jeans yesterday which i havent tried on in probably a good month because im either in my work clothes or gym clothes lol. Anywho, they were HUGE on me...like a tent. My rings :'( *sad because I love my rings* are all falling off, i have to pay attention to them big time for them not to be flying off of my fingers.
Lots of my shoes are becoming looser, the feet are getting smaller too yay :)

In the beginning of my weightloss I was a size 20+ some pants were even a 23.
Today I bought a size 16 capri pants :D my thing is I am a proper 16 around the hips and thighs but my stomach tends to carry a lot of fat, so around there im probably a 18, so the 16 gets to grip me a little more around the stomach but is perfect everywhere else. I am still very happy about that becase I remeber looking at 16 before and thinking ,YEAH RIGHT like thats ever gonna fit!

Okay well I am off to go run a little on my own treadmill in the basement.
I am feeling a little low in all honesty about the 1lb loss so I feel like I just need to move, to sweat and continue with my new lifestyle and not let a low number bring me down.

***************************
10.30pm
just got done jogging for 20min , did situps :)
My treadmill SUCKED so bad omg I didnt think I could finish my run because of all the zumming and huming and creaking, was so annoying.
Burnt 300cals, hey thats almost half my dinner from 4 hours ago :) now I dont feel so bad for going crazy on the mashed potatos :D
 
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Isnt it crazy how long it takes our mind to reconcile our body's transformation? There's one article of clothing that I'm dreading to lose as I drop the weight. It's this vintage dress coat that I found at a high end consignment shop - so I can sympathize, sista!
 
mixedbeans said:
Isnt it crazy how long it takes our mind to reconcile our body's transformation? There's one article of clothing that I'm dreading to lose as I drop the weight. It's this vintage dress coat that I found at a high end consignment shop - so I can sympathize, sista!
Click to expand...

Oh thank GOD i thought i was the only crazy girl sad to lose some of the things because they're getting way too big lol.
Hey of course im happy to be able to fit into smaller sizes but some items are so darn cute that im like "WTF DUDE!"
But hey...here's to better and more beautiful clothing girlfriend :cheers2:
 
Hit the gym today
10min elliptical
20min treadmill (15 were running)
Did weights/situps
- I feel like today wasn't a very good work out because I decided to have lunch late and I went to work out with a full stomach, I felt so sick but decided to work out anyway, I have never felt so horrible while running I felt all the food inside me just rolling around. I didn't try hard today becase of that sickness and fullness.
I did not eat dinner because of lunch, I had a footlong wholewheat tuna sub for lunch BLAH! should have stuck to the 6" but of course I over do it as usual :S
According to my calorie calculations im under by about 200 cals today and I like that even tho im a tad hungry at the very moment (12am) BOO! I refuse to eat anything because of the stupid sub.

I am seriously debating on hitting the gym all 5 days this week, give my body a challange, bring it out of its comfort zone I feel like i have been doing the same routine for 3 months now, somethings gotta change.
 
I am trying low carb eating this week.
So far it's worked out great I try to cut out as many carbs as I can in every meal but it's usually harder at dinner since there is always some kind of carb included thanks to my mothers european cooking like her homemade perogies yesterday.
Other than those things my lowcarb week is going good I am really tryin to lose at least 3lbs this week because this saturday is my going away date for that soccer tourney that I go to each year in April, and it was my goal weight due date the 40lbs but now im anxious to get to at least to 235 by sat :)

Todays meal plan
brkfst-special k cereal with 2%milk
lunch-grilled skinless chicken breast/small garden salad with a light italian dressing
dinner- chicken/beef teriyaki with :(white rice:(
snack-10 raw almonds
- funkey monkey booster juice
I have still right now about 200 calories left :S grrr bt hey w/e I didnt hit the gym today because I had to go shopping for my younger brothers birthday present whos birthday is tomorrow so I really had no time but ill try to go tomorrow.
My week is very hectic because of me leaving town on friday for that huge soccer tourney out of town, gotta go support the star soccer player athlete of the fam :)
 
I"m a little bit confused about what you are doing, and a little bit concerned too.

brkfst-special k cereal with 2%milk - carbs but mostly good carbs unless you put sugar on it.

lunch-grilled skinless chicken breast/small garden salad with a light italian dressing - no carbs. Why is your salad so small. YOu need more vegeables. Vegetables should not be counted as "carbs" to cut down on.


dinner- chicken/beef teriyaki with white rice - I am not sure what else is in this recipe but its high in salt i think. Has it got vegies? Rice is carbs but i've got nothing against rice.

snack-10 raw almonds - mostly fat - you don't need these for protein, as you are eating so much protein already.


- funkey monkey booster juice - i'm not sure what this is. probably a lot of carbs Or is it a protein drink? Or is it a diet drink?


Except for the last two items, all else looks good but not enough calories. The last two items, unless the drink is a diet drink, would be very high calories and not much bulk there fore not so satisfying. I think it would be much better to eat these calories as more solid foods - fruit and vegetables in particular as they have such low calories, are filling, give you tons of necessary nutrients and fibre.

Of course it also depends on portion size of those chicken dishes.

Well i hope you reach your diet goal. I understand the desire to do that but being anxious about it is better avoided. I am sure you will look great regardless of 3 pounds.
 
well my goal really isnt' to cut back on carbs it was jst a few days thing.
I dont eat white bread or white rice usually or any pasta for that matter either, i like to stick to whole grains or whole wheat items.
My salad is small and it goes with a full sizes skinless chicken breast and well with my hectic work and short lunch time I try to get in as much as I can.
I dont eat out, I eat all homemade food from skratch, my family is very old school european and so we tend to stick to very healthy things, with the usual junky things here and there but nothing to be concerned about as you stated.
I dont deprive myself of calories because I keep very good track of them and I know how much I am supposed to be taking in for my body type, I use a actual calorie tracker for this. You shouldnt really be "concerned" about anything specially if you are juding the meals for that one particular day which btw was a very crazy day with work and scheduling so therefore my meals aren't really like that daily.
Ps' my kelogs i dont add anything to it, no sugar nothing, and it's a nice quick breakfast which is very yum to u should try it.

See the way I see weightloss is to keep everything reasonable.
You dont want to go crazy on counting every ounce of salt and sugar.
Just do everything nice and slow and cut things back a little and things will fall in place.
A person cannot deprive themselves of things they like to eat wether it be junk or not completely,yes perhaps for a short while but after theyll fall back into their old routine becase they were trying to live a unrealistic way of life.
Ive been doing this very healthy and very slowly and ive been seeing great results.

So just...exhale lol im fine.
 
WEIGH-IN 15 - LOST 4LBS THIS WEEK
CW - 235LBS
SW - 280LBS
Current BMI - 35.7
Starting BMI- 42.6

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So I met my 2nd mini mini goal of being 235lbs by my goal date instead of my initial 240 and I did it with some serious work the week before at the gym and just watching my portions a little better and still keeping up with a proper calorie intake sometimes i'd even go over a little.
Anywho, just wanted to update my progress. I haven't been to the gym in a few days but come tomorrow (Monday) im going there right after work. My birthday is coming up may 29th and I have a huge concert to go to May 20th, and i've decided to make goals according to events coming up to give me something to look forward to. So by May 20th I'd like to be down to 220lbs and by my birthday i'd like to be down to 215lbs. Here's to may20th and 220lbs :D:D:D:D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

15lbs to kick outta there in 26days possibly a few more lbs :)
 
WEIGH-IN 15 - LOST 2LBS THIS WEEK
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This week was def a lazy week for me.
I didn't go to the gym at all, i tried to convince myself but i absolutely failed at that and ended up just staying home everyday. As far as eating i am being very cautious and good about. Still counting my calories and watching the time I eat, etc.
Weekends are my weakness tho. If i go out to town with friends we'll have drinks and food,whatever kind of food. I overindulge on weekends and i should really stop :(
Today is Monday and oh how I hate Mondays and even tho is a cloudy rainy day, I really need to get back to the gym. May 20th is like 3 weeks away...eeekk :S
 
Brkfst - homemade meat pie *leftover* 1 about the size of my fist
Lunch - Veggie burger with a whole wheat bun, some mayo,ketchup,lettuce,onion and pickles on it.
Dinner - cup of homemade bean stew with like half a slize of italian bread, couldnt eat that anymore i wasnt feeling it so i just had a small whole wheat tortilla with a tsp of ceaser dressing and 2 chicken bologne slices.
snack- iced coffee medium

Gym - 10min ellipitical
20min running fast on treadmill :) its good considering i havent ran in almost 2weeks.
- weights/situps

I def gave it my all when I ran, at some points i didnt think i could do it but i just kept telling myself "push urself push urself".

I cannot wait to see that number go below 230, that'll be the day for me :)
I cant wait to get out of the 200 mark. I feel like when i just say 200 i imagine a horse, 175 sounds so much nicer lol.

It's become at the stage for me where I really need to dig deep inside of me, all the motivation and power I have to complete the rest of the weightoss.
I have another good 40lbs to knock down, but i got till the end of the year to get healthy and in shape, for now I am happy with my little stepping stones.

I hope everyone had a great weekend :)
 
You are a total inspiration to me. I am 280 right now. I know that if you can do it, so can I!

Sent from my LS670 using Tapatalk
 
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