I am beautiful (and I will be even more beautiful)!

Well... My friends just moved into a new apartment, and invited a bunch of people over. We had pizza and peanut butter ice cream cake. In the past with group of people I have chosen not to eat when we go out for dessert, or I'll just get tea or something, and they find it really strange I think. So, I decided before I went that I would have a little bit so they don't think I'm a freak about what food I'll eat or something like that. So I had one piece of pizza and a small piece of ice cream cake. I think it was probably about 400 calories total. Not what I would have normally eaten, but I'll have to be okay with it. The problem is, is that if I'm going to eat bad stuff like that I'd really like to be able to choose what I want. It wasn't even all that good. Anyway, now I'm going to eat an orange just because I want to, and I ate less fruit than usual, and that will be it for today. I think thats 1500 calories total. Not bad number wise, but not good choices to fill those numbers. I'll do better tomorrow.
 
hey great job on keeping the calories that low. i struggle on a day when there is little to no temptation to keep the cals that low. be proud :D.

hope you are having a good day today

x
 
Ok today, I walked on the treadmill for 25 minutes. When I was done and leaving I realized that I really didn't feel like I had done a workout at all. I'm going to have to go back to running. I've been walking, and have still been losing weight so I felt good about it, but I think I also need to feel accomplished when I leave the gym. The problem is that I don't think I'll be able to keep running as my form of exercise for the rest of my life. I don't like it enough. So I need to find something that I enjoy enough to continue it after I reach my goal. I love gymnastics but it doesn't give me enough cardio, its limited days a week, and I have limited time left in the sport before my body can't handle it anymore. I'm not sure what to do. In the summer its not such a problem because I can go hiking and biking, which I love, but in the winter when I can't be outside, I'm lost as to what to do. Maybe I'll just have to suck it up and run for 5 or 6 months.

Good news: I built a snowman today! It was so much fun!!! And I did fine food wise today.
 
hey i know what you mean about not feeling like you have done a workout! i felt like that so yesterday i upped my speed on everything and felt alot better.

you still have snow. we are very nearly into spring now. we didn't get any snow this year! :(

x
 
What a horrible day. I kept crying at random moments throughout the day. And I don't even know why. Sometimes it was when I was happy, sometimes it was when I was sad. And I did horribly with my diet. I think I probably had close to 2000 calories. Including cheesecake for a friends birthday. And it wasn't even that good. It was store bought. I make it soooo much better.

I did run today though. I did 15 minutes in the morning, and 10 minutes at night at a little bit faster pace. It's going to take a little bit to get so I can go longer, but I did feel like I got a better workout.

I'm skipping my conditioning, skipping my stretching and going to bed.

Hoping tomorrow will be better, but I have insane amounts of studying to do.

I'm already looking ahead to Friday which is when I weigh myself for the march challenge. I'm really hoping to be 136 because that would be 2 pounds, but that might be pushing it a little bit. We'll see.
 
iluvgymnastics said:
What a horrible day. I kept crying at random moments throughout the day. And I don't even know why. Sometimes it was when I was happy, sometimes it was when I was sad. And I did horribly with my diet. I think I probably had close to 2000 calories. Including cheesecake for a friends birthday. And it wasn't even that good. It was store bought. I make it soooo much better.

I did run today though. I did 15 minutes in the morning, and 10 minutes at night at a little bit faster pace. It's going to take a little bit to get so I can go longer, but I did feel like I got a better workout.

I'm skipping my conditioning, skipping my stretching and going to bed.

Hoping tomorrow will be better, but I have insane amounts of studying to do.

I'm already looking ahead to Friday which is when I weigh myself for the march challenge. I'm really hoping to be 136 because that would be 2 pounds, but that might be pushing it a little bit. We'll see.
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Awww I think we all have days like this. I know I sure do, and they suck! Good job on the running. I used to hate running with a passion, but strangely enough, I enjoy it now. I always feel accomplished afterwards, probably bc I used to think I was going to die just from running 1 mile.


Anyway I hope you feel better today. I'm sure you will. You've been doing awesome lately so just keep moving forward.


:)
 
Thank you sooo much, gymchica! It really helps me a lot to have someone believe in me. My motivation is back! Today is much better already.
 
hey i hope you have a better day today. you did great on the excercise considering. good to hear you have got your motivation back! good luck on friday!

x
 
Thanks Angel! I've been reading your diary as well. It looks like you're doing really well.

Today was okay. I kept craving different things and I don't know why. For the most part I didn't give in. I try to chew gum to hold them back. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I did well with exercising again. I ran again, although not as much as I would have liked, but I have a BIG test tomorrow, and I wanted to do as much studying as possible.

I skipped conditioning and stretching again. Very bad. But its gymnastics tomorrow, so I'll definitely get it in then.

Over all, today was pretty good, just hard. I'm hoping tomorrow will be easier.

Thats all for now.
 
Today:

7:30- smoothie with yogurt, soy milk, banana, frozen mango and strawberries (300 calories)

10:00- coffee with milk (50 calories)

11:30- walk 5 min. at 4.5, run 10 minutes at 6.1, walk 10 minutes at 4.5 (-227 calories)

12:30- Ham sandwich (350 calories), baby carrots (50 calories), 3 stalks celery (20 calories?)

2:00- coffee with milk (50 calories)

5:00- black bean and vegetable soup (300 calories), pumpernickel toast with butter (150 calories), carrots (35 calories)

6:30- banana (120 calories)

7:30- gymnastics!!!!!!!! (- some calories, I have no idea how many)

Total calories eaten: 1425

How does it look?

I feel pretty good about how I did today. I was really tired so I had the coffee today. It's not normal. I meant to run more, but knowing that I was doing gymnastics later, I didn't want to do too much.

Hoping for another good day tomorrow.
 
I tried on my 'skinny' pants this morning. They fit okay. I could wear them and would look ok. I just have a little bit of my belly and love handles hanging out over the top (not the most appealing picture, I know). I decided I'd try them on again when I get to 132 pounds. I wore them before at 134 but they were a little snug. 132 will be good, I hope. And if I lose two pounds a week, and if I am 136 tomorrow when I weigh-in, that should only be another 2 weeks. But thats a lot of ifs, so we'll see.

What I really want more than anything is to be able to see my abs. It doesn't have to be a full 6 pack, but I just want them visible. I tend to carry my weight in my middle, and it is going away very slowly. Actually, its just getting more flabby it seems. But I guess that will go away eventually if I just keep at it.

I ran again this morning, sort of. I walked for 5 minutes first at 4.3, then ran for 5 minutes at 6.3, then walked for 10 minutes at 4.4. I burned 166 calories. Like I said yesterday, I don't feel like I want to run too much on gymnastics days so I don't tire myself out, and can't work hard. Maybe eventually I will be able to do that. But I'll be back to running more tomorrow. I'll write my calories later.
 
thanx for checking up on me!

iluvgymnastics said:
I tried on my 'skinny' pants this morning. They fit okay. I could wear them and would look ok. I just have a little bit of my belly and love handles hanging out over the top (not the most appealing picture, I know). I decided I'd try them on again when I get to 132 pounds. I wore them before at 134 but they were a little snug. 132 will be good, I hope. And if I lose two pounds a week, and if I am 136 tomorrow when I weigh-in, that should only be another 2 weeks. But thats a lot of ifs, so we'll see.
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good job with those pants!!! soon they will fit you very comfortably!

What I really want more than anything is to be able to see my abs. It doesn't have to be a full 6 pack, but I just want them visible. I tend to carry my weight in my middle, and it is going away very slowly. Actually, its just getting more flabby it seems. But I guess that will go away eventually if I just keep at it.
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are you taking measurements because some days i feel it is just getting flabbier (i hold my weight around the tummy as well) an when i measure i ahve actially lost cms. just a thought.

I ran again this morning, sort of. I walked for 5 minutes first at 4.3, then ran for 5 minutes at 6.3, then walked for 10 minutes at 4.4. I burned 166 calories. Like I said yesterday, I don't feel like I want to run too much on gymnastics days so I don't tire myself out, and can't work hard. Maybe eventually I will be able to do that. But I'll be back to running more tomorrow. I'll write my calories later.
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great job on the 30mins!! you are right take it slow and one day you will be able to!

have a great day

x
 
Thanks Angel. I measured only once. I was going to do it every other friday. I think its been about a week and a half now, so I think I'll do it again. Be right back.

Ok, here are my newest measurements:

Hip:35.5- down .5 inches
Waist: 29- down 3 inches (can this be right)
bust: 37.5- down .5 inches
thigh: 23- same

Wow. Thats exciting. It's early morning and I haven't eaten breakfast yet. Maybe thats why my waist is smaller. Now I'm going to weigh myself. I'm hoping for 136 because thats a 2 pound loss this week. I'm a little nervous. I'll post it in the March challenge.
 
Hey thanks!

I felt like I was doing so well. But I had a really hard week including 4 tests. I thought I was going to get to go home this weekend and now I'm not. Plus I'm really tired. So maybe it was all these things, or maybe I just couldn't resist any more, but I ate. A LOT. I had a bunch of toast with butter, a whole mango, a banana, chocolate chips scones, and then... cheesecake. I probably had 2000 calories. I know everyone is going to say don't worry, one slip up doesn't matter, but it does. I was doing sooo well. I was at 136 this morning. I'm not going to be there anymore. So, I'm lowering my calories for tomorrow. We'll see what I can manage, but I'm hoping to be around 1000 or less. Then Sunday will be back to normal. Oh I'm so mad at myself, and my stomach doesn't feel so good either.
 
I was so mad at myself that I went to the gym and walked for an hour and burned about 400 calories. I wanted to run, but my stomach still hurt, so I couldn't really do that. I guess it kind of evens out. I ate more calories than I worked off, but I would have done a lot less working out if I hadn't eaten that much. So, in the long run, I guess everyone is right... it won't really matter. I did run this morning as well. So total today I burned about 600 calories. Yay!

Tomorrow will be better. Sometimes having something like this happen gives me a little more motivation for the next few days, where as otherwise they might have all just sort of been okay.

I'm still feeling kind of sick, but I did weigh myself (I couldn't help it), and I'm still under 140 pounds so I guess I'm okay with that too.

My friends are going shopping in two weeks, and I'm going with them. I'm going to use it as an incentive to do well for the next two weeks. I get to buy one new thing for every two days I stick to my diet and exercise plan. Just think of all those new spring clothes I could get if I succeed!! And if I don't, and I can't buy anything when everyone else is, I'll feel so dumb, so I have to succeed.

I'm going to weigh myself for the next couple days in the morning, since thats when I weighed myself today to see if this has had any affect on my weight.

wow, ramble, ramble, ramble. Thats it until tomorrow. Goodnight.
 
I was back up to 140 this morning, so I really have to get back on track somehow. I don't know why Fridays and Saturdays are usually really hard for me. But its Sunday now and I'm already doing better. I didn't get to workout at all yesterday because the gym was closed due to a major snow storm we had, but it should be open today and I plan on doing an hour of cardio like I did the other day. That was really good.

This is so hard. I feel like I'm never going to get there. I wish it would go faster, but I know thats bad. I'm going home to see my boyfriend next weekend. I really want him to notice a difference (its been a month since he saw me). If I work really hard this week I think he will be able to. I only have one test this week so I should be able to concentrate on working out and following my eating plan.
 
So much for having a good day today. Why are the weekends so hard for me? I guess its just cuz I have no schedule and I have lots of time to just do what I want so I just eat and eat and eat. I worked out so hard on Friday and today. But none of it is going to matter because of how much I ate. I wonder if I would have eaten as much if I hadn't worked out, and vice versa. I REALLY hoping it will be easier to get back on track tomorrow because its Monday and I'll have other things to keep me occupied. I know I was trying to keep away from the scale, but I going to use it every morning just to make sure I'm starting back on a downward trend.

I guess I know in the long run it won't matter, but its hard to think of that right now. My goal now is to get to 135 because then I'll be halfway to my goal. Those last 10 are going to be hard though. I've never been that low, and every time I start getting close I do something like this weekend and I feel like I'm starting all over again. I guess thats whats called yo-yo dieting, but I don't know how to get out of it. I'm already really worried about what will happen once I reach my goal and have to try to just maintain it. Right now I am writing out a daily meal plan ahead of time so I know how many calories I'll be taking in, and I only go grocery shopping for the exact amount of food I'll be eating that week. It makes it really easy. But I can't do that forever. I'm nervous that when I don't have a plan, and I'm not counting calories it will be hard to know what to do and how much to eat. If I just listen to my body I think I should be okay, but sometimes its hard to do that.

Well, even after writing all this I don't feel great because I feel like this weekend ruined all my hard work. Why do I do that? Grrrrr. :banghead:

I'm planning on getting up early to go to the gym tomorrow. Maybe after that I'll feel better about how the day could go. Wish me luck.
 
Tonight, while talking to my boyfriend about my issues with my weight, he said something that made me so mad. He started talking about how he thinks he and I are very similar with how much extra weight we are carrying. He thinks we're both pretty good, but just have a little bit extra. While I know this is true, it made me mad for the following reason. I work sooooo hard at trying to get into better shape, trying to build muscle, tone up, and lose those last 10 pounds while he sits at work all day then sits at home and watches tv before going to bed (when we're together we're very active, but this is his normal schedule while I'm away at school). How can we be the same if I'm working so hard and he's doing absolutely nothing. Plus he eats crap, and I eat well. I can't say exactly why this made me so mad, but it did. This is my new motivation to succeed. I will get toned, and show him that my work is paying off, and make it so he (or anyone else) can't say that anymore. All they're going to be able to say is that I'm in such good shape or I look so good. 10 more pounds, maybe another 2 months. I WILL do it!
 
I'm sorry things were difficult for you over the weekend :( I've definitely been there before, many times. What I've learned is just to move on and keep trying your best to stick to your plan. There's been times when I've ended up "gaining" over 4 lbs just from one day of bad eating. As long as I get back on track, those 4 lbs disapear within a matter of days. You probably only gained one real pound AT MOST and the rest of the weight is just a combination between water and the actual amount of food still left in your body.

I'd write more because I've honestly felt exactly the same as you so many times, but I have to get ready for work! I've also gone through sort of similar things with my bf. Anyway, just continue knowing that you CAN and WILL lose the 10 lbs. This weekend might seem to have been a big deal RIGHT now, but in the long run, it won't mean anything to your 10 lb loss.

Well I gotta go. I hope today is much better for you. Let us know how it goes! :)
 
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