Hibah's diary

Hibah

Hibah

New member
Hi,

I am new here...not new in trying to lose weight, just to the site. I am 29, 5ft 6, and I weigh 210 pounds ( 170cm and I weigh 94Kg). I have gained 25 pounds over the past four months. It was a very stressful time, with my mom's illness, my sister's wedding, and my other sister's boy problems problems, and the just family drama and politics.. There have been so many changes the past few months and my coping mechanism has been stuffing my face. Binging on all kinds of food.

I have always been on the chubby side but that's how my body always was. I was healthy at 180 pounds. And I used to eat healthy. I used to live on my own and cook my own food, but now I moved back in with my family because my mother's sick, and all the good eating habits I have picked up over the years have gone down the drain..

I can't breathe properly (chances are my cholesterol is high) and I don't fit in to any of my clothes.. I have thought about getting gastric lapband or any of the equivalent, but I don't have the money to go through with it. And plus i need to change my habits for good, and eat healthy - for me not for anyone else. I am not happy with myself at the moment. And i don't feel good at all.. stuffing my face isn't enjoyable either.

I want to change.

These are my goals:
  • Start Weight 94 Kgs, (212 pounds)
  • First Mini Goal 85 Kg (191 pounds)
  • Second Mini goal 78kg (175.5 pounds)
  • Final End Goal 74Kg (166.5 pounds)
  • Dream Body 70Kg or 158 pounds

I will start Sunday the 22nd. And I will (as much as I can) to write everything I eat daily here. Will weigh myself every Saturday.


Wish me luck!


Hibah

View attachment 23301
 
Hi Hibah & welcome to the forum. It would be a good idea to see a doctor about your breathing problems. I think most of us have had the experience of "comfort eating" or stress eating. We know that stuffing food into us does not solve anything & makes us feel worse, but most of us have done it. I am sorry that you have had to take on so much responsiblity at your age. I admire you for it. I really hope your mother will get well. Your health is your most important asset & it is very important that you make your own good health a high priority. We are better able to help others if we also look after ourselves. I am only a little bit taller than you, but was once 111kg & lost 36kg by changing my diet & lifestyle. I don't thing getting a lapband in your case would be a good idea. Most people I know who have had one seem to learn nothing about making healthy choices & most just seem to learn tricky ways of getting food past the lapband.
I am in Australia & it is already Sunday the 22nd. I would wish you good luck, but luck is not what is needed. Strength & determination are what will get you to where you want to be. There are many people here to help support you and I am one of them. Welcome Hibah! Cheers, Cate
 
Thanks Cate, I have the flu - in the tail end of it and that could be part of the reason why. I will wait until the end of the week and see if it's due to the flu or not..



cate said:
Hi Hibah & welcome to the forum. It would be a good idea to see a doctor about your breathing problems. I think most of us have had the experience of "comfort eating" or stress eating. We know that stuffing food into us does not solve anything & makes us feel worse, but most of us have done it. I am sorry that you have had to take on so much responsiblity at your age. I admire you for it. I really hope your mother will get well. Your health is your most important asset & it is very important that you make your own good health a high priority. We are better able to help others if we also look after ourselves. I am only a little bit taller than you, but was once 111kg & lost 36kg by changing my diet & lifestyle. I don't thing getting a lapband in your case would be a good idea. Most people I know who have had one seem to learn nothing about making healthy choices & most just seem to learn tricky ways of getting food past the lapband.
I am in Australia & it is already Sunday the 22nd. I would wish you good luck, but luck is not what is needed. Strength & determination are what will get you to where you want to be. There are many people here to help support you and I am one of them. Welcome Hibah! Cheers, Cate
Click to expand...
 
Day 1

Food Intake
-one scrambled egg
- half a cookie
- Tea with milk

- One Guava

- A big salad with olive oil as dressing
- 1/4 egyptian pita bread
- Two small cans of tuna

-One orange

- 30 grams nuts (almonds and walnuts)

Tea with milk.

Exercise
I started the couch to 5k Nike running program, walk/ran for 25 minutes. Ran/walk 3.01Km in 25min

cheers,
Hibah
 
You are well & truly off to a good start Hibah :) Hope the flu goes away soon. Cheers, Cate
 
Today is the second day of my pact to myself to lose weight and become healthy once again...It went well all in all - I ate well and did some exercise. One thing that's really bothering me is how unfit/unhealthy I have become. I went for a walk today. I walked almost 4.5 km today in 45 mins. I have never been out of breath when walking. And at the end of my walk, I felt tired. I got home and i am tired.. I used to be fit - a little overweight but always on the healthy side, and now the mere talking is getting me out of breath.. My original plan was to walk 3.2Km (according to Nike+ Running coach) and do half an hour of yoga at home.. But i just got too tired to do more than walk.

I will make an appointment to see a doctor sometime next week - i need medical help. Especially since my feet ache when I get up in the morning.

My goal is to make lifelong changes - form habits that will get me through all the 'bad' days..Especially since my family's history includes high cholesterol, hypertension, and diabetes. All of the above contributed to my mother's early onset of vascular dementia - she was diagnosed at 64.

My food intake:
Day 2

Tea with milk
1/4 Egyptian pita bread
one boiled egg
one slice cheese
one orange
one apple

30grams walnuts and almonds

grilled skinless grilled half a chicken
1/4 grilled chicken
broccoli and cauliflower + lettuce and tomato

2 dried figs

Tea with milk
 
Well done on a very good day Hibah. Don't forget you have had the flu & that could account for being short of breath. Try to be kind to yourself. It is probably best to see a doctor as you may also have a chest infection, which may need antibiotics. Take care, xo Cate
 
Late Welcome to the forum to you Hibah.

You seem to have set some very clear goals and to be on the right mindset for a healthier lifestyle...don't worry about how long it took you to do however many Km you do, as you improve your lifestyle you will see that it will get easier, so don't give up...perhaps most importantly, DO LISTEN TO YOUR BODY...for now, it is probably just responding to the new changes you have made and it is a new routine, but yes...always when taking on a weight loss journey, if possible, seek the opinion of a doctor just to make sure you are on the clear.

Best of luck to you...both, diet and work-outs, look great thus far.
 
Thank you!
CaliGirl said:
Late Welcome to the forum to you Hibah.

You seem to have set some very clear goals and to be on the right mindset for a healthier lifestyle...don't worry about how long it took you to do however many Km you do, as you improve your lifestyle you will see that it will get easier, so don't give up...perhaps most importantly, DO LISTEN TO YOUR BODY...for now, it is probably just responding to the new changes you have made and it is a new routine, but yes...always when taking on a weight loss journey, if possible, seek the opinion of a doctor just to make sure you are on the clear.

Best of luck to you...both, diet and work-outs, look great thus far.
Click to expand...
 
I had a bit of a breakdown today..

So I moved back home to take care of my sick mom - she's diagnosed with vascular dementia.. while I am usually ok with the diagnosis, and most of the time I am very patient with my mother, today I snapped. My mom's sister lives with us, and I spend most of my time with them these days.. I went from being an independent, free, working 29 year old to a jobless caretaker of two elderly ladies.. Don't get me wrong, I do it out of love, but there are days where it's harder than others..

I completely flipped today - I yelled at my mom, and my sister and just started crying... I apologized to my mom later, who thankfully is very forgiving, and usually doesn't hold a grudge ..

I had an appointment with a nutritionist today which I have been able to make - and ended up crying infront of her. I saw her 3 weeks ago, and she prescribed an eating plan to lose weight. I only a pound since then.. She was understanding, told me to and to take it slowly, and go easy on myself...She's like "Hibah, you're dealing with so many changes and its going to take time to get your grove back".. I am seeing her again next week..

She asked me to get some bloodwork done, to see where my cholesterol and uric acids level are at.. She told me high level of uric acid can be a factor of my morning foot ache.
 
Oh Hibah, You poor thing. You have so much to cope with at your age. What a strong woman you must be and a loving & caring daughter. Sweetie, I do not know any perfect people & you are human. Do you have help caring for them? Are there alternatives? I know very little about what is available in your country. I really admire you for doing this, but at the same time hope that your health does not suffer because of it. Try not to put added pressure on yourself sweetie but any little improvement you can make to your diet is a good thing. The better you eat, the better you feel. If there is someone who can spend time with your mother then use that opportunity to go for a walk or visit friends. You deserve a happy life. Sending you much love, xoxo Cate
 
Thank you Cate for your kind words. There are days where it's really tough and other days when everything is a breeze. Thankfully things are improving a bit at home. I am trying to plan my walk/exercise at night where I am not really needed at home.

It's been a busy the past few days and I have managed to keep my carb intake on the low side. Trying to switch to fruits for desert and reducing anything doughy which is my biggest weakness. I like everything that is baked and full of carbs.

I read somewhere that to long lasting habit changes you need to stick to the new habit for at least 21 days (some say 30 or 40). I am going with 21days as my first goal. I will not weigh myself in the meantime, and my goal here is to reduce the bread/rice/pasta/chips/chocolate in my life. I will not look at the scale and try to complete the 21 days with minimal mishaps.

It's Day 6 today. I fell off the wagon once so far.

In terms of exercise, it seems that I won't be doing anything for alittle while. I went running this morning, and twisted my ankle pretty badly. I can barely walk so it will take some time before I can resume my exercising. It's too bad, really. I was enjoying the run today. I felt better physically. I should have heeded my physiotherapist's advice from way back when. "You become stronger than you can run. You don't run to become stronger" . My ankles have become weak.

Oh well, one day at a time.. there's no rush..
 
Hope your ankle is healing well Hibah & that you are managing to cut down on the starchy carbs etc. Take care, xo Cate
 
It's almost been a week since I last wrote. I have been staying at home mostly because I couldn't really walk.

Good news is I am snacking less and eating less junk food. Bad news: because I am not cooking, I am not eating properly. I ate bread and cheese today and an orange.. not healthy at all..

Will check in tomorrow..
 
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