Here we go, hold on tight and don't let go!

Well last night, wow. Did I eat or did I eat :(... I had turkey with gravy, about a cup of scalloped potato, a cup of creamy curry veggies, 1/2 cup of creamed corn and a piece of cheesecake as well as a glass of white wine... Id say it probably came in at around 1500 or more calories.. oh well, easter only happens once, right? SIGH.

Today!

Breakfast: 1 cup leftover curry veggies and a banana
Lunch: spinach salad w/ cucumber, tomato, mushroom, 1 tbsp shredded LF cheddar, ranch, mixed beans and a orangic veggie burger patty cut up
Dinner: 1 cup of turkey bean chili and small bag of whole wheat organic taco chips

Just got back from the gym, 30 on elliptical, 10 on stairmaster and 15 on recline bike...
 
Sigh, yesterday was pointless.

I actually ended up eating a cookie and 2 mini donuts the night before yesterday which sparked cravings for yesterday. So yesterday I had 2 pieces of banana bread, whipped cream, caramel sauce, sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar :( half a bagel, ugh just horrible! I did go on a couple walks, but would not even it out. And I did have a huge veggie/turkey whole wheat sandwich which at least gave me some nutrients! But still...

So today! back on track!

Breakfast: 1 piece whole wheat toast with smushed up hboiled egg
Lunch: spinach salad w/ tomato, red pepper, cucumber, lf cheddar cheese, mixed beans, and low cal ranch dressing
Dinner: 1 cup of turkey black bean chili and a banana

I need to drink LOTS of water today, and stick to only tea at work today (starbucks). Heres to hoping!

Gym tonight at 8, for an hour, the usual. :)
 
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Well... To be honest, I just had the worst 5 days of eating ever. Tortellini, pizza, baked brie, kraft dinner, cookies, ice cream, chocolate, mcdonalds!!... wine, beer.. yikes yikes yikes.. I snapped, I got grumpy and started eating like crap and the cycle kicked in again.

Oh and to top it off, I didnt go to the gym once! :( I stepped on the scale (bad idea) and it told me I was up 5 pounds from last time.. Yikes, hopefully alot is just water weight or whatever, but yikkkkesss.

Today: I need to focus on getting back on track. I am either going to the gym at 11 or walking to and from work (1 hour total). Unfortunately I dislike working out before work and after work the gym will be closed so its one or the other.

I am on strict "get back to it" foods for the day.
Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs mushed with LF mayo (1tsp) on squirrley wholewheat bread
Lunch: home made split pea soup with veggies/mixed beans (1 cup) and 1 banana
Dinner: 1 cup turkey black bean chili with 1tbs grated LF cheddar cheese and 1/2 avocado

*We had a mild fridge incident with mould :( and most of our veggies we had to throw away so until I get back to the grocery store (tomorrow) the veggie intake today will be down

I will be drinking 10 glasses of water today. I just finished my first and am on to my next.

I also want to make a goal for myself to do 3000 pushups and 600 pushups in 30 days, thats 100 situps and 20 pushups a day. I will be starting today and recording that.

I sound hard on myself as usual, but this needs to end. I need to do this for myself.
 
Small update on yesterday. Foods added: 1 cup mixed nuts. 1 bag of allnatural tortilla chips, 1 cup milk, 1 peice of toast and cheese

Did NOT go to the gym or walk, very upset at myself. Did not start my 3000 situps or pushups. But will today.

:(
 
Just got back from the gym, dragged my tired sorry ass there and its so worth it. I already feel way better, happier, cant wait to go tomorrow!

Todays food so far:
Breakfast: 1 piece whole wheat squirrley bread w/ 2 mushed up hard boiled eggs and 1tsp LF mayo
Lunch: 1cup homemade splitpea lentil soup with 1/2 cup whole wheat pasta in it and 1 150g lemon yogurt
Dinner: up in the air... not sure yet

A questionaire from another journal:

1. What is your current height and weight?
5ft 8, 228 pounds

2. If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be?
145 pounds

3. At what weight would you like to be at four months from now?
185 or 190

4. Why do you want to lose weight?
Health reasons, depression/anxiety reasons, body image

5. Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event?
For a wedding, but thats just the goal date! (not my wedding)

6. What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
I am an emotional binge eater

7. Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
Because I suffer depression and it has caused me to emotionally binge eat, and not want to exercise.

8. What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight?
Focus on myself, get myself pumped to look good and feel great, put exercising into my routine and take out partying/drinking.

9. Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight?
Yes many many times. Exercise and good eating. I also lost 40 pounds on the South Beach Diet one time, I would LOVE to do it again but it is a very expensive diet and I can not afford it at the moment :(

10. Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back?
I lost someone very special to me (breakup) and it put me into a depressed state, which furthered into depression. This caused me to binge and try to fill my hole with booze and food constantly. I eat when im not hungry, I eat when I am hungry, I eat when I am bored, I eat when I am sad. I know why I am fat again.

12. Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?
I have done it many times before. I snack alot and sometimes forget what I ate that day. I get obsessive as well when I write things down...

13. Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?
Yes a lot. I cook everything. I cook huge pots of turkey black bean chili and freeze it for the week, soups, chicken dishes, whole wheat muffins. Anything, I LOVE TO COOK!

14. How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?
I can't afford to go out and eat so rarely. If I do I go wherever my company wants to go or where I pick. I tend to have the "its a cheat day/special occasion" mind on when I go out to eat and eat the worst for me foods.

15. What are your three favorite foods?
Kraft Dinner, Pizza w/ Ranch, Green Coconut Chicken Curry over Rice

16. What are your three favorite restaurants?
Local Restaurants that are not part of a chain. I do not enjoy chain food in Canada, its boring. The states however, mmmmmmm.

17. What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?
- Avoid white flours/sugars
- Avoid eating out with my boyfriend or eating whatever he eats
- Stop eating food from work (Starbucks)

18. If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?
No stretch marks, flat tummy, perky breasts, toned arms, toned legs and bum

19. Do you eat when you are not hungry?
I eat all the time, I am shocked I am not eating as I am typing this to be honest

20. Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?
Yes, I am a huge binge eater. It disgusts me.

21. Do you hide your food or eat in secret?
Yes. When I buy things I dont want my roommates to eat I will hide it. I eat in secret a lot because I don't want people to think I am constantly eating and thats why I am fat (even though it is...)

22. Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?
Yes, again, all the time.

23. Do you eat as a reward?
Yes

24. Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?
Yes

25. What do you normally eat for a meal?
Kind of a endless question. My normal meals are usually whole wheat pasta with tomato sauce and a side salad. Or a salad with cheese/veggies/mixed beans and ranch and toast


26. What type of snacks do you eat?
fruit, yogurt, nuts, muffin

27. In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?
I go to the gym usually everyday but for the past 7 days I was super lazy. I also usually walk to work (30 there and back) but again, have been lazy.

28. Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym?
Local gym

29. What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise?
Dancing, elliptical, walking

30. What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?
My motivation is to be happy with who I am and I know that will begin with being happy and taking pride in how I look.

31. Do you have rewards for certain goals?
Seeing my face slimmer and buying smaller sizes is enough reward for me
 
Hey, just thought I'd have a look on your Diary after you commented on mine :)
Despite your "slip ups" you seem to be doing sooo well!

Easter got me too :(
The other night I ate an entire easter egg, including the two creme eggs that came with it!
And I'd had rolos earlier on in the day!

Good luck and I really can't wait for your weigh in I think you will have done amazing :)
 
Thanks for stopping by :D Dont worry about the eggs, I had like 25 chocolate covered almonds last night... yikes!

Last night was... well.. ok? Im not sure.

I had thaifood from my favourite restaraunt that comes in a box. Spicy Peanut with rice noodle and chicken.. im sure it wasnt th ebest for me, but MMMMMM so good.. yikes.. then I had around 25 chocolate covered almonds.. eeep. and a beer!

Today!
Breakfast: 2 peiece multigrain whole wheat bread with tiny mayo/mustard, fresh turkey slices, swiss cheese, and insane amounts of veggies (lettuce, sprouts, onion, cucumber, pickle, peppers)
Lunch: bowl of split pea soup with 1/2 cup whole wheat pasta
dinner: 1 cup of chili with 1/2 avocado in it and 2 chicken strips (random I know)

I went for small walks today, and gardened. I am going to the gym in 30 minutes... So, nothing special today, could be better.

Tomorrow I plan to make it a way better day. Lets hope!!
 
Think of it this way, yes they were chocolate covered... But almonds are good for you! :p
Also, you said you're obsessed with Ranch dressing.. The only ranch I've come across is that in subway? Is it like that? You'll have to forgive my ignorance, I'm English lol
 
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