Here i GO!!!!

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I’m picking me apart again
You all assume
I’m safe here in my room
(unless I try to start again)

I don’t want to be the one
The battles always choose
‘Cause inside I realize
That I’m the one confused

I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don’t know why I instigate
And say what I don’t mean
I don’t know how I got this way
I know it’s not alright
So I’m
Breaking the habit
Tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I’ll paint it on the walls
‘Cause I’m the one at fault
I’ll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I don’t know what’s worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don’t know how I got this
I’ll never be alright
So I’m
Breaking the habit
Breaking the habit
Tonight
 
sounds GREAT about the gym! If you aren't already considering it, I highly recommend checking out the belly dance classes. Most amazing and incredible core workout can be bellydancing. Traditionally women of all shapes and sizes do this dance. Low impact, but you will feel it the next day when you first start.

I credit belly dance for at least 90% of the reason I have better ab definition now than when I was doing a lot of weight lifting in college.
 
Phoenyx said:
sounds GREAT about the gym! If you aren't already considering it, I highly recommend checking out the belly dance classes. Most amazing and incredible core workout can be bellydancing. Traditionally women of all shapes and sizes do this dance. Low impact, but you will feel it the next day when you first start.

I credit belly dance for at least 90% of the reason I have better ab definition now than when I was doing a lot of weight lifting in college.
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Oh yes!!!!
I am so going go to those classes. I have tried them before when i first joined the gym and they were amazing, not only do they give you a work out but man they are SO fun!

I want to join all kinds of classes to keep me interested and to give me something else to do beside running and a bunch of other cardio.

*************************

I had my lunch at 1pm, it was a whole wheat sandwich, toasted, with no-fat cheese 2 slices of chicken bologna and a squirt of ketchup on there, the cheese was melted so it was very YUM!
Now im snacking on some pumpkin seeds.

Im still kinda of hungry.
I got work at 5.30 so I gotta make dinner right now, cya!!!
 
Hey there!

I am so excited for you that you started the gym. The classes sound fun. I am going to try to do one or two classes a week, also. So, I don't get bored. Tomorrow night hubby & I are going to do the cardio kickboxing class! You sound like you have really been on track lately. I'm glad to see that, too. I think that going to the gym will give you more energy and help keep you determined.

Well, good luck at work tonight! Just remember, bikini season: "Here we COME!!!"

Oh yea, I like Linkin Park alot... hee hee...
 
I cant wait to hear about hte workouts....you are going to have so much energy !

dont forget to get enough protein if you work your muscles hard.

:waving::waving::hurray::willy_nilly::waving:
 
I definitely agree with the classes! They're so fun and you get quite the work out. I've tried some pilates and yoga classes and they're really great for gaining flexibility. Plus, they're pretty hard core too! I'm planning on taking a hip-hop dance class and a turbo kick boxing class as soon as one comes up that fits in my availability.

I'm excited to hear about how your 10 day weigh-ins go. I'm sure you'll see lots of improvements each time!

Keep up the great work!!!
 
minus86 said:
Hey there!

I am so excited for you that you started the gym. The classes sound fun. I am going to try to do one or two classes a week, also. So, I don't get bored. Tomorrow night hubby & I are going to do the cardio kickboxing class! You sound like you have really been on track lately. I'm glad to see that, too. I think that going to the gym will give you more energy and help keep you determined.

Well, good luck at work tonight! Just remember, bikini season: "Here we COME!!!"

Oh yea, I like Linkin Park alot... hee hee...
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Thanks!!!! :)
I am also very exidet , to me a diet isn't a diet without some extreme sweat loss lol.

artmonster said:
I cant wait to hear about hte workouts....you are going to have so much energy !

dont forget to get enough protein if you work your muscles hard.

:waving:
Click to expand...

Hmm Im thinking about getting some protein shakes, r they ne good, do u know?

crazygirl said:
I definitely agree with the classes! They're so fun and you get quite the work out. I've tried some pilates and yoga classes and they're really great for gaining flexibility. Plus, they're pretty hard core too! I'm planning on taking a hip-hop dance class and a turbo kick boxing class as soon as one comes up that fits in my availability.

I'm excited to hear about how your 10 day weigh-ins go. I'm sure you'll see lots of improvements each time!

Keep up the great work!!!
Click to expand...

I hope at least min 3-4 pounds lost each weigh-in.
I really want this and I'm more determined as ever.
I'm still fighting my personal demonds with the food cravings but I think over time it will pass and it wont be so hard.

:party:
****************************
Came from work.
It's hard being on a diet and surrounded by all that junk. I swear I think they put some chemical in there to brainwash ur brain and then u REALLY feel like u NEED to have all the oil and grease inside you, like it makes u believe it's better to have clogged arteries then anything else in the world.

Thank god school is starting for me soon so less work hehe :D

***************************


K so im off to check up on everyone else now hehehehe
 
It sounds like you work in the restaurant industry... which makes changing to a healthier lifestyle that much more difficult. I bartend at a private mom & pop type "family bistro" some days and also serve at Lucille's (a major BBQ joint) where the biscuits alone have over 500 cal each - without the apple butter- (but their sooooo good). Ugh! Makes me frustrated just thinking about it!

I noticed when I'm at work, drooling over what people are eating, I try to visualize how many calories they're consuming. Doing that actually makes me sick to my stomach and I just want to tell the people to go to the gym or something. Yeah, the food tastes good, but how will they feel after consuming an entire rack of ribs, fried pickles, and mac & cheese? :ack2:

I think my mom is even annoyed since I'm asking her how many calories her pop corn has... her sunflower seeds... I think with my food consciousness, it's making the people in my life more aware and may even influence their choices.

Anyway, enough of my rambling! Hang in there! Oh... and I'm going to a morning kickboxing class. I'll let you know how it goes. :)
 
Your gym sounds amazing! I have one right down the road from me that's calling my name. I might gather up the courage to join this week. I hope it's at least half as good as the one you are going to!
 
^^ Thanks guys.
And Pastelroses I'm sure your gym is great, any gym is great in my eyes, it's a great enviroment to be in.

************

So i had my fit test done.
K SO.

150lbs of ME is Lean muscle ( that is why I dont look HUGE at 270lbs) I guess that is why no one believes my weight.

BUT my fat % is like 43% And I need to cut down HALF of that.
119lbs of me is fat.

I havent had breakfast yet and it's 12pm, i dont know what to make.
But Im starving!!!!

What really ANNOYED me at the fit test is that the girl kept trying to convince me to sign up to their Empoweremnt plan or w/e it's called.
THey give you a book on nutrition (like I cant find all this on the internet anyway :ack2:) And they give u a list of food u can eat and make meals out of, and its like 500 bucks??? YAH RIGHT!!! I got school comming theyre taking a big ass chunk out of my account in a few weeks and I cannot afford to pay 500 bucks to someone to tell me that I need to eat more vegetables lol, I ALREADY KNOW THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

grr, so annoyed right now!!!!
And I dread work, I hate it!!!!!
 
It does sound like we were pretty close in our starting range. I was at 241 with 47% body fat. If that's your picture in your avatar, you are right... you don't look like you weigh 270. People are surprised when I tell them I was at 241.

Why pay $500 to have someone tell you to eat more veggies when we can do it here for free? :D

I wish, for your sake, that you could find a different job than the one you are at. I'm still thinking of that alcoholic being a bartender analogy. But I know you gotta do what you gotta do to pay the bills. Hang in there!
 
Phoenyx said:
It does sound like we were pretty close in our starting range. I was at 241 with 47% body fat. If that's your picture in your avatar, you are right... you don't look like you weigh 270. People are surprised when I tell them I was at 241.

Why pay $500 to have someone tell you to eat more veggies when we can do it here for free? :D

I wish, for your sake, that you could find a different job than the one you are at. I'm still thinking of that alcoholic being a bartender analogy. But I know you gotta do what you gotta do to pay the bills. Hang in there!
Click to expand...

Thank you! hehe
I wish that I could find another job, I have perfect hours specially now that Im going to be going to school full-time. But you are right, I gotta do what I gotta do to get things done in life.
And yes 500 is too much to waste on something that is provided to me for free, ONLINE lol!!!!

artmonster said:
I think you look good in your avatar pic......:blush5:


wow $500....thats a whole lot of carrots and powerbars......:biggrinjester:
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lol thanks :)

And yes 500, crayz ppl seriously lol to expect me fork it over.
And I was getting so annoyed at her, she kept trying and trying to get me to sign up for it and honestly if I saw that someone was NOT interested I'd STOP! Unless I wanted to lose a customer ALL TOGETHER!!!!

*************************
K so here's my Breakfast.
1.5 chicken frank
1.5 eggs with some no-fat cheese on top
3/4 of whole wheat sliced bread
tbs ketchup for dip

AND the naughty part is ( I had a muffin too)
I just <3 muffins, they are my weakness lol, so it was like 230 calories (SCREAMS). Its ok at least I had it early in the day.

SNack Ima have a slim-fast optima snack bar and an orange

Dinner: ???Deciding???

School starts sept2nd and Im crushed to find out that my son wont be able to go to daycare until sept 8th, a spot only then opens up.
Thats 4 days of missed school :( and I'm worried about that. Also I hate daycare's only because My son during daycare gets sick once a month, with the flu, his body just picks up any illness there and then he's on antibiotics like most of the time which sucks and its worrying me, but I have no choice, school is full time and really it's something I need to get done to provide a better future for myself and my son. Well one more year left of school and thank god then we can all move one with life.

:party:
 
Hey there!
How have your workouts been at the gym? Sorry about that pushy lady, but yea... I would have probably told her to shove a carrot up her patoot.

School also starts for me Sept 2nd. Can't wait. That should help us both not think about food. Just gotta make sure and take healthy snacks with us during the day.

As for your son & the daycare... I know this sounds crazy, but actually, exposing him to the germs in a daycare is not an alltogether bad thing. He may get sick more often in the beginning but his immune system will be building up to all those germy attacks. Try to keep his antibiotics to a minimum so that his natural deffenses can take over. I'm not saying don't give him any medicine, just don't give him TOO MUCH!

Hang in there. I'll check on you later!!!
 
^ hehe thanksss

I dont give him meds at all unless it's a really high fever or if he is just really feeling unwell.

I only give him antibiotics when he is REALLY sick. Once he had a fever on and off for about 2 weeks and then I find out the idiot doctor gave my son a dose WAY too low for his weight and age, so it was removing his fever just like advil would but never really fighting off the infection.

So yes lol.
Gym well today I had my fit test and i didnt workout there yet since policy there is to first get ur fit test done and then to start working out. So tomorrow early morning I will be at the gym for about 2 hours.

It's been a month almost, yay and we're still doing this .

Good job to all of us :Angel_anim:
 
minus86 said:
Hey there!
As for your son & the daycare... I know this sounds crazy, but actually, exposing him to the germs in a daycare is not an alltogether bad thing. He may get sick more often in the beginning but his immune system will be building up to all those germy attacks. Try to keep his antibiotics to a minimum so that his natural deffenses can take over. I'm not saying don't give him any medicine, just don't give him TOO MUCH!
Click to expand...

I'm majoring in Human Development and last semester had my class in child development. I ended up doing a paper on children & daycare vs. stay-at-home parenting. It was really interesting with lots of pros/cons to each. Just make sure you have a daycare that stimulates your son and gives you progress reports on how his days go. Being exposed to other children can actually strengthen his immune system. If you want to know more, I can share my paper with you (basically an interview paper from parents who have their kids in daycare and those who have them at home or with a nanny).

Oh... I actually made it to the kickboxing class this morning and I am BEAT! lol Bouncing around on your toes really works muscles in your calves that aren't used to it. But it was SO much fun! Took a little time to get used to some of the more advanced routines, but I'll definitely go again.
 
crazygirl said:
I'm majoring in Human Development and last semester had my class in child development. I ended up doing a paper on children & daycare vs. stay-at-home parenting. It was really interesting with lots of pros/cons to each. Just make sure you have a daycare that stimulates your son and gives you progress reports on how his days go. Being exposed to other children can actually strengthen his immune system. If you want to know more, I can share my paper with you (basically an interview paper from parents who have their kids in daycare and those who have them at home or with a nanny).

Oh... I actually made it to the kickboxing class this morning and I am BEAT! lol Bouncing around on your toes really works muscles in your calves that aren't used to it. But it was SO much fun! Took a little time to get used to some of the more advanced routines, but I'll definitely go again.
Click to expand...


Oh that sounds interesting.
Please do let me know anything you know about daycares.
I was getting worried because I started to think, maybe it's the daycare that's at fault for my son getting sick ALL THE TIME!!!
Couple of times last winter I'd come in and i'd see toddlers around with a runny nose and not the a little runny nose, it looked like its been running for a while and no one even washed the poor kid's face and then of course kids will wipe their own noses and touch the next chair or toy they see and there we go GERMS!!! I understand that kids pick up things easily and yes it's good for them but my son was getting sick WITH THE FLU like every month no lie. I don't know , maybe he is just sensetive or the day care really needs to clean their place more and clean kids if they have a runny nose or what not.

It's the closest day care to my house, and my parents live near me like 5 minutes away so in an emergency they can run over there and get him.
And my mother does not drive so she can walk there within 10 min and get him if Im running late or something, that is why it's so convenient for me, but I'm wondering, if its the center that i need to keep an eye on.
They look clean, and organized . I'll have a talk to the manager there.


P.S Im off to swimming in an hour n half. SHoud be fun :)
 
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Wow! Everyone is swimming. I went last night, hee hee!!! It is so much fun. I can't believe that after months of refusing to put a bathing suit on, I am able to do it AND enjoy it. WOOHOO! You are right, it has been almost a month. I cannot believe that.

I am so excited still. For the first time in forever, I have maintained my motivation to go to the gym. Paul tells me all the time that he is proud of me, and that I am actually motivating him to be healthier instead of it always being the other way around. Although we definitely help eachother, cuz he's the one that wanted to order pizza, and it was my idea to make it fresh at home. Then, it was my idea to go to the movies & get popcorn, and he said that we should make some at home & "sneak" it, so we wouldn't eat all those calories. Then, when we actually were at home and researched both the pizza & popcorn... we were both shocked.

I love going to the gym now. I was just telling him that I cannot believe that I would make excuses not to go, because now I feel so good after I workout.

Anyway, you are doing AWESOME! I am so proud of you. I'm glad that you hung in there even when you really wanted to quit. You might still have some bumpy days ahead, but just remember how you feel now, and that you will get through them.

Have a great swim! :seeya:
 
crazygirl said:
I ended up doing a paper on children & daycare vs. stay-at-home parenting.
Click to expand...

My senior thesis was a research project looking at the effect of daycare on kids. I was a research assistant to a much larger project, so we had a fairly large sample - 300+ kids. Daycare turned out not to be a significant predictor of academic progress or behavioral issues.

Ugotwillugotway said:
maybe it's the daycare that's at fault for my son getting sick ALL THE TIME!!!
Click to expand...

Being around other kids is at fault for your kid being sick all the time. :) Daycare kids get more sicknesses younger; non-daycare kids get them when they go to school. But because kids with normal immune systems won't get sick from the same strain of cold virus (or most other viruses) more than once, it comes out to about the same amount of sick in the long run.

If your kid is literally sick constantly, have you considered allergies as a potential culprit? My kid was the same way, until we put her on Singulair for what we thought were seasonal allergies. And all of a sudden, she didn't get colds anymore. When we'd wean her off the Singulair at the end of pollen season, 3 days later she'd have what looked like a really bad cold that never really cleared up until she'd had a week or two on the Singulair again.

Now she's in kindergarten, with a completely new batch of kids, and she does have a slight cold, so we're back to fighting new germs.
 
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